Just for Now (10 page)

“Thank you,” I replied as I watched him sink down into the seat across from me.

“You can also order ‘girlie drink’ and the guy behind the counter knows what you mean.” The teasing tone of his voice made me laugh. I’d never really had an actual conversation with Preston that didn’t involve pre-sex or drama. This was nice.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Preston took a drink of his coffee and leaned forward on his elbows, watching me. “Why do I make you nervous, Manda?”

Why did he make me nervous? How was I supposed to answer that? Maybe because I’d had a crush on him for years, I’d given him my virginity, and he was gorgeous.

“You don’t. Well, I mean, you do, but we’ve never really talked before. Not like this.”

Preston set his cup down, but his eyes never left my face. “Then why did you go outside with me at the club? I can’t let that go. I keep going back to the fact that you went out there with me. Why?”

If we were going to be friends, I needed to be honest with him. At least mostly honest with him. I was working on getting over him, so that wouldn’t be an entire lie.

“I had a crush on you. I’d had one for years. I wanted to be the one you took home that night. That didn’t happen, exactly. We made it to your Jeep, and then you hauled me off to the storage shed. I got over my crush after that night.”

Not exactly true, but close enough. He didn’t need the gory details. Or to know that I still used him as inspiration at night when I needed to feel him again. I wasn’t sharing that piece of info either.

“You had a crush on me?” he repeated, and muttered a curse. “Manda, I’m so sorry. I wish I’d been sober.”

I laughed for the first time since we’d started this uncomfortable conversation again. “Had you been sober, I would still be living in my fantasy world that one day you’d look at me and want me too. That night finally rid me of that delusion.”

“You figured out you were too good for me that night.” The tight, pained look in Preston’s eyes confused me.

“No, I figured out that I am never going to be ‘that girl’—the kind you’re attracted to. I’m okay with that now.”

Preston reached out and took my chin in his hands, and lifted my face until my eyes met his. “There are a lot of things that I’m not. But trust me when I tell you I’m more attracted to you than is safe for either of us.”

“Amanda, hey!” someone interrupted us. “I haven’t seen you in a while. And Preston Drake, let go of Marcus’s little sister before I slap you for her.” Jess, Rock’s cousin and the town slut, pulled out the chair on the other side of Preston.

“Hey, Jess,” I replied.

“Leave, Jess,” Preston said in an annoyed tone as his hand left my face.

“
Tsk-tsk
, touchy, touchy. Cool down, lover boy. You’re barking up the wrong tree with this one. She ain’t your type.”

“I
know
that. We’re friends,” he snapped. leaning back in his chair and taking a drink of his coffee.

“You stopped coming to Live Bay and drinking with me, Amanda. Wondered what happened to you. We had a few fun nights,” Jess said, grinning at me with a wicked twinkle in her eye.

Back this summer after Preston had left me in that storage room, I’d done everything I could to get his attention, including drinking and partying with Jess. But one night when a guy had gotten a little too out of hand and Dewayne had showed up and beat his face in—that had been my last night out with Jess. It had been the wake up call I’d needed. I wasn’t that kind of girl. I never would be. And no amount of partying was going to get Preston to look at me again. He’d had his fill.

“Yeah, I’ve been busy,” I replied.

“Weren’t you going off to college? Auburn or some crazy shit like that?”

The main reason I wasn’t going was sitting across from me listening to every word I said. “Yeah, I was. But I didn’t want to miss the wedding planning for Marcus and Willow. And my mom still needs me. She isn’t ready for me to leave her just yet. Especially with Marcus getting married.”

“Sure about that?” Jess asked with a knowing look on her face.

I’d probably told her something I shouldn’t have one of the nights I drank too much. Dang it. I hadn’t thought about that. Maybe my little secret wasn’t as secret as I’d thought. I was no better than Preston. Dewayne knew something. Now Jess. Crap.

“I’m positive,” I replied with a forced smile.

“If you’re done with the twenty questions, Jess, we were talking about calculus. You can leave now,” Preston said, setting his cup down on the table. His long tanned fingers wrapped around the cup made me think of the other things I’d felt those hands do.

“Calculus my ass,” Jess replied, standing up. “You don’t normally go sniffing back around where you’ve already been.”

Preston’s annoyed frown transformed into a furious glare, and he slowly stood up. “Whatever the hell you think you know, you don’t. I don’t care who your cousin is. Friend or not. You won’t repeat any of it to anyone.”

Jess raised her eyebrows and met his glare with one of her own. “I’d never repeat a word. But not because your sorry ass threatened me—because I like Amanda. That’s the only reason. ’Cause, Preston Drake, I’d love to see you hung up by your balls.” Jess swung her gaze to me and smiled. “I’ll see ya around, Amanda.”

I nodded, but I was afraid to say anything else. I’d obviously told Jess about Preston and me. This was humiliating. Who else had I told while I’d had my few weeks of drunkenness?”

Jess spun around and strutted out the door. It took all my courage to look at Preston again. He was studying his coffee cup. Guess he was wondering who all I’d told too.

“I can’t believe you won the loyalty of that one. She’s a mean bitch,” Preston finally said, lifting his gaze to meet my anxious one.

I shrugged. I wasn’t sure how I’d managed that either. But we’d bonded over vodka. Weird but true. “Jess is misunderstood. That’s all.”

Preston chuckled. “No, Manda. Jess is a conniving, manipulative slut. She doesn’t make friends with females. Ever.”

“She’s not that bad,” I replied, needing to defend her.

Preston raised one eyebrow and twisted his cup around in his hands as he held my gaze. “We’ll agree to disagree. How’s that?”

I nodded.

He let out a weary sigh. “I didn’t know those drunk episodes of yours this summer were with Jess. I thought those two times I found you and took you home were flukes. It was your attempt at rebelling.”

“They were my attempt at rebelling. I figured out pretty quick it wasn’t for me.”

“Why’d you do it?” he asked.

I knew he wasn’t ready for this answer. Giving him something else to feel guilty about wasn’t what I wanted. Instead, I shrugged, reached for my drink, and took a sip through the straw.

“Please tell me it wasn’t because of what I did. . . .”

I didn’t want to lie to him, but this was one of those instances when lying was the best policy. “No, Preston. It had nothing to do with you.”

The relief on his face made me glad I’d lied.

“Do you have any more classes today?” he asked.

I didn’t. I was going with Willow to pick out bridesmaid dresses, and we were taking Larissa with us to find her a flower girl dress. “No, this is my easiest day of the week.”

Preston tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. “I’ve got to head to the gym to work out with the team, but later you want to do something? Maybe help me figure out what the hell we did in class today? I’ll buy you a meal.”

He was really determined to do this friends thing and get free tutoring out of it too. As much as I’d like to spend time with him, I knew it was bad. “I can’t. I’m going with Willow and Larissa to pick out bridesmaid dresses and Larissa’s flower girl dress.”

Preston titled his head to the side, and the blond hair that brushed his shoulders drew my attention. He looked like one of those airbrushed models in a magazine. No guy should be that perfect-looking. It wasn’t fair.

“What about after? Stores close at six. You should be free then.”

He was right. I’d probably be home even earlier than that, but I had to have some self-preservation. “Yes, but I have an economics study group tonight,” I said, slipping my purse back up on my shoulder. I needed to head to Willow and Marcus’s to pick her and Larissa up. And I needed to get out of here before Preston convinced me to forgo my good sense.

“Okay,” he replied. He leaned back in his chair and stared up at me with those sexy you-know-you-want-me eyes of his.

With a firm nod, I said, “See you around,” before walking swiftly to the door.

Chapter Nine

Preston

As much as I’d wanted Amanda to take me up on tonight, I was glad she’d shot me down. Thirty minutes after she’d left me in the coffee shop, I’d gotten a call from a client. This one was single, in her mid-forties, and had had enough plastic surgery to look like she’d just turned thirty. She owned a few upscale salons and was in town on business. I never had advance notice with her, but she paid well, so when she called, I went. Funds were low because I’d just paid my mom’s rent. Plus I’d had to cover the initial payment for Jimmy’s braces.

Walking into Live Bay, where I knew at least one of my friends would be, I decided that after doing what I’d just had to do, a drink was called for. This didn’t used to bother me. I could go entertain a paying MILF with no problem. But when Amanda surfaced this summer in my dreams, I’d had to start playing a role. Sex for money was suddenly dirty. It was wrong. I had a fucking conscience I hadn’t asked for, all thanks to a pair of pretty green eyes and full, all-natural lips.

I stopped by the bar and picked up the shot of tequila waiting on me. They knew me well around here. We’d been coming to this place since before it was legal for us to drink. Small coastal towns didn’t have a lot of entertainment. Live Bay was it.

Dewayne was at our table watching me as I walked over to them. Cage had Eva in his lap, whispering in her ear, completely blind to anyone other than her. Ever since she’d shown up at Live Bay and sung him that song a few weeks back, they’d been all over each other. You rarely saw one without the other. Cage watched her every move like she was the most fascinating thing in the world.

“I was wondering if you were gonna show up tonight,” Dewayne said as he lifted his beer and saluted me.

“I’m here. Where else is there to be?” I didn’t let the frustration come out through my words. Or at least, I didn’t think I did. However, the way Eva turned her head and stared at me curiously made me question that.

“Glad you’re here,” Cage said with that knowing gleam in his eyes. He wanted to see me with anyone except Amanda. Although Cage hadn’t been one of our crew while growing up, since we were now teammates and his best friend was about to be a married-in member of the group, Cage kind of just fit. He was a part now. He also knew that my screwing around with Marcus’s little sister was off-limits. Pissed me off that he could just freely be with who he wanted. No one and nothing standing in the way.

“You look down,” Eva said, still studying me.

“I’m tired,” I replied, looking over at Dewayne. “Where’s Rock?”

“Not sure. I figured Trisha would want to be here tonight since Jackdown is playing.” Trisha rarely missed her brother’s performances. She’d practically raised Krit, so they had more of a mother-son relationship than a sibling one. She was like the proud parent.

“Keep wiggling like that, and we’re gonna have to leave,” Cage growled as he took a nip at Eva’s ear. She giggled and stood up.

“Then come dance with me.” She held out her hand, and he went willingly. They were a little too much for me right now. I didn’t need to see that shit.

“Can Cage be any more pussy whipped?” I grumbled, taking the shot of tequila the waitress had set down in front of me.

“Someone’s pissy tonight. Don’t tell me you got the hots for Eva now,” Dewayne drawled.

I didn’t even look over at him. He was trying to goad me. It was his thing.

“What did I tell you about Manda?” I could remember some drunken ramblings one night after I’d been with Amanda, but I wasn’t sure what it was I’d said.

“More than I wanted to know,” he replied.

I looked over at him. “I need to know what that is, Dewayne. I did something, and I can’t remember it clearly.”

Dewayne shook his head. “I think it’s best you only have those sketchy memories. No use in reminding you.”

I slammed my glass onto the table. “Tell me what I said, dammit.”

Dewayne leaned on the table with his elbows and glared at me. “No. You were drunk as shit. I don’t want to remember it. She’s like my little sister, you stupid fucker. She should be the same to you. How you could do something with her like some cheap slut I am still trying to wrap my head around. I know you got issues. But that ain’t an excuse. She looks at you in a way that can only mean you can hurt her. You
have
hurt her, and she still looks at you with that wistful, dreamy look of hers. It makes me so mad I could beat the shit out of you.
Okay?
”

“It’s different with her, D.” I couldn’t tell him more than that because I couldn’t accept it. There was no way I’d ever be able to have anything more than a friendship with her, but I needed him to know she wasn’t like the others.

“Maybe. But she’s sweet. She’s good. She’s also innocent. Back off before Marcus figures out there is a reason he should put a bullet in your head.”

I couldn’t back off completely. I needed her friendship. I wanted to be near her. “We’re friends now. That’s something he’ll have to accept. Nothing more.”

“Friends? Bullshit.”

I didn’t expect him to believe me. Why should he?

Amanda

By the time I left the study group, it was after nine. Today had been busy and somewhat successful. We’d found a flower girl dress. However, the bridesmaid dresses hadn’t been so easy to find. We had another day planned next week to go to Mobile to see if we could find something there.

I noticed a familiar Jeep parked in the driveway. What was Preston doing? Mom was at home. I’d talked to her already once tonight. Had he been sitting there long?