Just for Now (17 page)

“Nah. I’d like it. But I thought, bad memories. Didn’t
realize when we set it up.”

“I’d like to go, actually. Heaven knows I never went to a
rugby game when I lived there. I’d like to take the kids to Te Papa too. And
the Botanic Garden. It’d be kind of nice to have some different experiences there,”
she tried to explain. “Other associations.”

He nodded. “I can understand that. Wait for Te Papa till
Sunday, if you don’t mind, so I can go too. I’ll have to educate myself anyway.
You know how Harry likes to discuss. Can’t have him thinking his dad’s
ignorant.”

“We’d both better be taking notes,” she said with a smile.
“There’s a lot to learn. It’s a wonderful museum. Have you been?”

“I’m ashamed to admit that I haven’t. This’ll be my chance,
eh. And your chance to experience the Cake Tin.”

 “I’m not so interested in the stadium. I’m much more
excited about seeing you playing with the All Blacks. Since I’ve never seen the
team play in person. I hadn’t seen any All Blacks games at all, for that
matter, until these past weeks.”

“Those were the first test matches you’d ever seen?” he
asked in surprise. “After all this time in En Zed?”

“It seems astonishing now,” she agreed. “But my husband
didn’t care about rugby, and neither did his friends, so we never had it on at
home. And I didn’t grow up with it either, of course. I didn’t know what I was
missing.”

“Not even the World Cup?”

“Nope. I did realize you’d won,” she hastened to assure him.
“I could hardly miss that. And I’d catch glimpses of rugby games at the pub,
restaurants. But since I didn’t have Sophie to explain the game to me, I never
knew what I was looking at, so I wasn’t very interested.”

“She’s a good teacher, eh.”

“She certainly is. And she’ll have another chance to
instruct me on Saturday.”

“The paper says the Springboks could win tonight,” Jenna
said to Sophie as they found their seats in Wellington’s circular stadium, so
aptly nicknamed for the metal-walled cake tin it resembled.

Sophie scoffed. “Just because we lost last time against them,
and we’ve had some injuries. We have a deep side, though, you’ll see. The Boks
think they can win again with that boring kick-and-chase footy, but they’re
wrong about that too.”

“Where they kick the ball downfield, then chase after it,
race for it,” she explained at Jenna’s bewildered look. “Watch, and I’ll show
you.”

Despite Sophie’s confident words, Jenna knew the little girl
was nervous. Harry was more keyed up than usual, too. Clearly, watching a game
in person was different from seeing it on television.

“Here they come!” Harry shouted. The crowd was on its feet,
roaring its approval as the team took the field behind their captain, and again
when they lined up facing the Springboks to perform the haka. When the Maori
player pacing between the rows called out the first words of instruction for
the traditional challenge and the players dropped into their squats, hands
beginning to slap their thighs, the noise grew to almost overwhelming
proportions, stayed that way throughout the ferocious movements and shouted
chant. The team finished as a staring, intimidating mass of black, and the
stadium erupted.

Harry was still jumping up and down with excitement as the
crowd took its seats to await the kickoff. “Did you see that, Jenna? Did you
see Daddy doing the haka?”

“I did,” Jenna smiled, pulling him down to sit next to her.
“He looked fierce, didn’t he?”

“Because he’s feeling that way inside too,” Sophie
explained.

“He told me,” she went on as Jenna looked at her in
surprise. “He has to get himself right to go hard all night. Most of the boys
listen to music once they get on the bus, and in the sheds before the game. But
Daddy just concentrates. He thinks about what he’s going to do, till he feels
dead fierce and strong.”

“Daddy isn’t really fierce, though,” Harry protested. “He’s
nice.”

“Not when he’s
playing,”
Sophie told him patiently. “He
has to be able to hurt people. He can’t do that if he’s feeling nice.”

Sophie was right, Jenna decided. She’d never have recognized
her thoughtful companion of a few nights ago in the warrior she saw attacking
the ball carrier, or carrying the ball himself like a battering ram through a
line of South African defenders. Whether he was pushing from the back of the
scrum, leaping for the ball in a lineout, or racing to the breakdown, Finn
emanated focus and determination. She marveled at the strength and stamina it
took to work that hard for forty minutes straight, then back for another forty
after a brief break.

Midway through the second half, the All Blacks captain, Drew
Callahan, made a sudden turn to tackle an opposing player, pulled up short, and
went down on the turf. The crowd seemed to hold its breath until he limped off,
supported by the trainer and a huge round of relieved applause from the crowd,
as a substitute ran from the bench to take his place.

“That’s bad, right? He seems like an important player,”
Jenna said to Sophie.

Sophie looked at her in mild exasperation. “Yeh. He’s the blindside
flanker, remember? He does heaps of tackling, and the Boks are strong. But Matt
Ropata is pretty good too. We can still win.”

She seemed to be trying to convince herself, and Jenna
reached for her hand. “We’ll just have to see. What happens when the captain’s
gone, though? Who does . . . whatever it is that he does?”

“Daddy,” Sophie said in surprise. “He’s the vice captain.
Didn’t you know?”

“No. Really?”

“Yeh. Daddy’s been on the squad almost as long as Drew. He’s
been vice captain for ages.”

“So what’s he doing now that’s different?” Jenna asked,
watching Finn arriving at the breakdown, where the ball carrier had just been
tackled, to help get the ball to the backline.

“Talking to people more,” Sophie explained. “Especially the
No. 10. About what they’re going to do. But it’s hard to see from here.”

The lead shifted back and forth twice more in the final
fifteen minutes, the most gripping of a tense match, with the All Blacks
scoring a drop goal after the final buzzer had sounded to win by a single point.
By the time it was all over, Harry was asleep with his head in Jenna’s lap, his
enthusiasm no match for the day’s excitement and the late hour. But Sophie was
even more wound up than before, leaping and cheering the All Blacks’ narrow
margin of victory.

“I
told
you, Jenna!” she exulted as Jenna picked up a
drowsy Harry, settling him on her hip for the slow exit from the stadium. “I
told
you they could do it!”

“And you were right,” Jenna agreed. “They did great, didn’t
they? Stay close to me, now. Hold onto the strap of my purse. I don’t want to
lose you in this crowd.”

“Is Daddy coming back to the hotel tonight?” Sophie asked,
still bright-eyed and overexcited on the way to the carpark. She let go of
Jenna to dance ahead of her, facing backwards. “Can I stay up and wait for him?
I want to tell him well done.”

“No, he said he’d be going back to the team hotel. We’ll see
him in the morning, though,” Jenna promised. “And we’ll all go to the museum together
after that. Once he’s had a good sleep, and a nice big breakfast.” She could
tell he was going to need both.

“The Colossal Squid was actually found very close to New
Zealand, did you know that, Jenna?” Harry asked the following afternoon. “It’s
from Antarctica. That’s not very far away, did you know that?”

“That’s true,” Jenna told him. “We can look at the world map
when we get home and figure out how many kilometers it is.”

Harry bounced happily along next to her on their way across
the expansive pedestrian bridge and plaza beside Wellington Harbour, clutching
her hand and still talking about the huge squid that had so taken his fancy in
the museum, but Jenna had stopped listening. Her heart sank at the sight of the
two men approaching, recognition dawning on their faces as they drew closer.
She found her steps slowing until she came to a stop. Harry stopped too, his
face turned up to her questioningly. Finn, noticing, turned back with Sophie as
well.

“Jeremy.” Her mouth had gone dry. “And Alan.” She took a
breath and continued. “Finn, I’d like to introduce you to Jeremy Davies, my
former husband. And his partner, Alan Green. This is Finn Douglas, my employer,
and his children.” She went on to introduce Sophie and Harry as well, and Finn
reached out to shake both men’s hands. He had his game face on, Jenna saw. His
stone face.

“What are you doing back in Wellington?” Jeremy asked her
curiously, his eyes darting from her to Finn.

“I brought the kids down to see their dad play. Finn’s an
All Black,” she explained as Jeremy and Alan still looked blank. “They played
the Springboks last night.”

“Right.” Alan nodded, looked at Finn with renewed interest.
“I heard about that.”

“You’ll want to catch up, Jenna,” Finn told her. “I’ll take
the kids back to the hotel, get them into the bath. Take your time.”

“I’ll just be a few minutes,” she hastened to assure him. He
nodded again at Jeremy and Alan, then took both children’s hands and continued
across the bridge.

“Major
hotness,” Alan told Jenna approvingly. “And an
All Black too. New boyfriend?”

“No,” Jenna frowned at him. “My employer, like I said. I’m
the nanny.”

“Whatever,” he shrugged. “Though I’d have a go, if I were
you. Because you look good. Jeremy told me, but I didn’t realize. We’ve all
come out of this better in the end, haven’t we?”

“Uh . . .” Jeremy had the grace to look a bit ashamed as he
saw Jenna stiffen. “Anyway. I’m glad we ran into you. I was about to email you
an invite to the wedding. We’re doing it in two weeks, down here, and I’d like
you to be there.
We’d
like you to be there,” he corrected hastily, with
a glance at Alan. “We were always good friends, weren’t we? I thought we could
get some of that back, now that all this is behind us. Will you come?”

Jenna flushed, hating being put on the spot. She couldn’t
think of an excuse, settled on the truth instead. “I’m sorry, Jeremy. I do wish
you well. But I can’t do that.”

“Oh. Right.” He chewed his lip, then nodded. “Whatever you
think.”

“What about your family?” she asked. “Are they coming?”

He gave a bitter laugh. “You’re joking. Clarissa and Elaine
both told me they’d like to, but they’re not going to go against Mum to do it.
And Dad does what Mum says. You know that by now.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” she told him sincerely. “What
about your family, Alan?”

He nodded. “They’re coming. Reckon they’re our family now.
And we’ll have heaps of friends there too, of course.”

She smiled a little painfully. “I know you’ll have those.
But I need to get back now, give the kids their tea.” She saw Jeremy reach for
her, then hesitate.

“I guess it’s time,” she decided. She leaned forward and
gave each man a hug. “I’m not ready to dance at your wedding. But I’m trying to
be happy for you.” She blinked the tears away and made her way across the
bridge, walking quickly now, just wanting to get away.

This bridge was bad luck for her. This wasn’t the first
difficult encounter she’d had here. She remembered the Saturday afternoon she’d
run into her mother-in-law, Victoria, a few months after she’d left Jeremy.
Kiwis might be known for their friendly, down-to-earth nature, but Victoria had
never let that stop her.

“Jenna.” Victoria had looked her over with her usual
critical gaze. Her own attire, as always, was impeccable: black slacks and an apricot
silk blouse that emphasized her stick-thin figure, her stylish blonde bob and
flawless makeup making her look younger than her fifty-six years.

“Victoria.” Jenna didn’t have to pretend anymore. She’d
tried her best to be a good daughter-in-law, had bent over backwards to get
along. And what had it got her? Nothing. She was done.

“You’ve lost weight,” Victoria said grudgingly.

“I’ve lost my appetite,” Jenna told her. “Being unhappy can
do that, I hear.”

Victoria stiffened. “And whose fault is that?”

“I don’t know. Whose?” What could possibly be coming now?

Victoria didn’t leave her in suspense. “Men don’t stray if
they’re satisfied at home. You’ve started losing those extra kilos at last,
I’ll grant you that. But maybe you should have thought of dieting a few years
ago. Because if you’d worked harder to make yourself attractive, Jeremy
wouldn’t have had to look elsewhere. William’s always been faithful, because
I’ve
never let myself go. Even though I’ve had three children.”

“Excuse me?” Jenna asked blankly. “Aren’t you forgetting
something? Do you really think there’s anything I could have done to make
myself sexually attractive to your son?” And as for her father-in-law, she
thought privately, she’d bet he had somebody tucked away somewhere. She couldn’t
help hoping he did, anyway.

Victoria waved a hand. “So Jeremy has other . . . urges. He
married you, didn’t he? He could have gone the other way, if there’d been
anything to hold him there. He had girlfriends while he was growing up. And you
should have had children. I always said so.”

The words hit Jenna like a slap in the face. She’d thought
it would be better to face up to Victoria this time. Better than smiling and
biting her tongue. But there was nothing more to be gained from this.  

“Ask him why we didn’t,” she got out. “I need to go.”

“Don’t think you’re getting anything from him,” Victoria
said warningly. “You signed an agreement, remember. I looked it over myself.
It’s ironclad.”

“Goodbye, Victoria.” Jenna walked away, shaken to the core.
Why did Victoria dislike her so much? How was this her fault? It must have been
easier to blame her than to accept the truth about her son. But that didn’t
make it any easier to hear. She’d never been able to please the woman anyway. It
was a wonder, given his mother, that Jeremy was as kind a person as he was.