Just a Summer Fling (23 page)

Ashley still had nothing to say, so she just nodded.

Lauren nodded, too, ready to get back to business. “So I’d like a phone call on Sunday night. Not before that—I want to have this last weekend in peace before insanity descends. So on Sunday night you’ll give me a call and you’ll either tell me that you’ve got your shit together or you’ll tell me that you won’t be able to continue in the role. Better we lose a week of rehearsal than that we try to drag this out any longer. Clear?”

“Clear,” Ashley said.

She made it out of Lauren’s office and ducked into the bathroom before the tears came. She should call Adam and let him know; there were probably terms of the contract to be debated, requirements for how this sort of relationship could be severed, and the financial consequences of each choice. But Ashley didn’t want Adam to call the lawyers. She just wanted it all to be over.

She was miserable. She wasn’t doing her job. She’d given up true love to chase her dream, and now she was letting her dream slip through her fingers. “Fuck!” she roared, the obscenity echoing off the hard tiles of the room. There was the passion Lauren was looking for, but Ashley could only produce it in that one short burst, and only for her real life, not for the fictional trauma of the script.

She needed to do something. But she had no idea what that something might be.

*   *   *

“YOU
need to keep the sling on for at least six weeks,” Dr. Myles said with a frown and a firm shake of her head. “Six weeks, Josh. You can come back then and we’ll take
another set of X-rays to see if the bone’s healed, but six weeks is the absolute minimum.”

Josh didn’t bother getting insulted about the doctor’s clear suspicions. She’d known him since he was a kid, and they both knew he was going to take the sling off as soon as he could handle the pain. “Okay,” he muttered, and he slid down off the exam table and looked around for his shirt.

The doctor handed it to him with a disapproving sniff and Josh wished he’d figured out some way to avoid coming to the hospital at all. The fuss, the attention—it made him want to crawl into a cave somewhere. He’d fallen off a roof. That was all. Kevin had acted like it was the end of the world, swearing up a blue streak as he drove Josh to the hospital, but Kevin was prone to dramatics.

“You need to be more careful, Josh,” Dr. Myles was saying. “Those bruises on your torso haven’t faded yet, and now you’ve fallen from a three-story roof? You could have died from that fall. You’re lucky to be walking away with only a broken collarbone and few scratches.”

“I landed on a shrub,” Josh said. He’d already explained that, but maybe she hadn’t been paying attention.

“But why did you fall off the roof in the first place? There are safety procedures in place to keep workers from falling—were you using those procedures?”

“Not in the strictest sense,” he admitted. Then he headed for the door. “Okay, thanks for the sling and the drugs and everything. I feel much better now.”

“You have someone to drive you home?” the doctor asked from too close behind him.

“I expect so,” Josh said. “He’s generally pretty hard to get rid of.”

But when he got to the waiting room it wasn’t just Kevin sitting in the hard plastic chairs. Aunt Carol was there, too, and she didn’t look impressed.

“What the hell were you doing up on a roof, Joshua?” she demanded, storming across the room toward him. She stopped a couple feet away and added, “And what did you do to yourself? How badly hurt are you? Bad enough that I have to be nice to you? Because if you aren’t, I have got quite a few strong words for your stupidity!”

“I’m fine,” Josh said. “But I’m not really interested in hearing the strong words. Can we get out of here?”

“What the hell were you doing up on a roof?” Aunt Carol trailed after Josh as he headed for the exit.

“Well, he had to be on the roof,” Kevin said from somewhere behind them all. “That’s where loose shingles are.” But before Josh could believe he’d found a champion, Kevin added, “The question to ask is why he fell off! Why weren’t you tied off, Josh? Three stories? You should have had a rope and a harness. If I’d been up there, you would have yelled at me if I wasn’t tied off.”

“I was just checking something,” Josh said sullenly. “I wasn’t having a damn picnic. It was wet, I slipped, I fell. It’s not a big deal.” His whole body was sore and he had a broken collarbone and a bunch of scratches and he could have died, but . . .

“No,” Aunt Carol said. They were in the parking lot now and Josh just wanted to go to the truck and go home, but Aunt Carol held onto his un-slinged hand. “It
is
a big deal, Joshy. You’re working too hard. You’re not paying attention. You’re making stupid mistakes. And it’s all because you’re unhappy.”

Josh scowled at her, then at Kevin. “It’s a transition,” he said. “It’ll be okay. I just need to adjust, or something.”

Aunt Carol’s face softened and she peered up into his eyes. “Really, Joshy? If that’s true, if you can look me in the eyes and tell me that, then I’ll believe you, and I’ll be happy. Can you do that, Josh? Can you look me in the eyes and tell me you’re going to be getting better soon?”

He stared somewhere over her shoulder. Ashley was
gone. That was all there was to say. She was down in Hollywood working on her dream job, and he was back in Vermont trying to pick up the pieces. Was he going to be getting better soon? Ever? “I’m doing the best I can, Aunt Carol.”

“Well, it’s not good enough, Joshy. So you need to let us help. You need to come over for dinner tonight and be with your family instead of moping around that house all by yourself.”

“I was going to go over and finish the roof,” he protested.

“No,” Kevin said firmly. “You go home with Mom, and I’ll take your truck to the site and finish up. You’re not going up on that roof all drugged up.” He looked at his mother and gave her a sweet smile. “And
I’ll
use the appropriate safety equipment,” he said smugly, and it earned him a pat of approval on his arm.

Josh was too tired to argue. He just wanted to crawl into his bed and dream of the days when he’d shared it with Ashley.

“No more of this,” Aunt Carol said firmly as she guided him toward her car. “You need to get yourself together, Josh. Enough of this drifting around.”

She was right. He knew it. He’d fallen off a damn roof and he could have died. He was miserable, and he really didn’t see how the hell he was going to get past any of it. He needed a plan. A solution. He needed to find a way to make things okay again.

Twenty-four

ASHLEY FELT BETTER.
Not good, exactly, but . . . better. She turned the rental car into the rough driveway and felt the tension draining out of her, absorbed by the embrace of the surrounding forest. This would be okay.

Still, she stopped the car just before it pulled out of the trees into the clearing around the house. Was she absolutely sure about this? Once she was there, once she was wrapped in Josh’s strong arms, cradled against his broad chest, she wouldn’t be leaving. She knew that. Was she really ready to give up her career in order to commit to a man she’d only known for a few weeks? One who had never even said he loved her?

The problem was, she didn’t really have a choice. She was pretending she did, but she had no idea how to get herself back in shape the way Lauren needed her to. She’d spent all night Friday and all day Saturday thinking about this. Then she’d woken up Sunday morning, double-checked her priorities, and booked her flight. She’d call Lauren that night, as requested, and she’d step out of her dream role.

Better to quit than to be fired. For all Josh’s worrying about how he was going to recover from their fling, it had turned out to be her who’d been stung. Losing Josh was unthinkable. Losing her career? It was terrible, frustrating, disappointing. But it wasn’t unthinkable.

Better to lose the job and still have Josh than to lose the job
and
lose Josh. She didn’t like what she was doing, but she didn’t see an alternative, not really.

So she drove on to the house, but when she pulled in to park, it wasn’t Josh’s truck in the driveway. It was Kevin’s. Josh usually spent Sunday afternoons at home, catching up on the chores of the house or hanging out with the horses. Maybe he and Kevin had just switched vehicles for some reason?

Ashley stepped out of the car and was almost knocked over by the grey and brown streak that barreled into her, yipping and whimpering with excitement. “Daisy,” Ashley crooned, bending to greet the wriggling animal. “I missed you, too, baby! It’s good to see you.” She eventually stood, over Daisy’s objections, and said, “Come on. Let’s go see who’s home.”

She turned toward the house and caught her breath at the sight of the man on the porch, then exhaled in disappointment. Similar enough to fool someone from a distance, but that was Kevin, not Josh. And after giving up so much and travelling so far, she wanted the real thing, not the substitute.

He stepped down from the porch and walked toward her, his expression almost impossible to read. “This is unexpected,” he said when he was close enough.

She nodded. She hadn’t really had the words to share with Josh, and she certainly didn’t have any to explain herself to Kevin. “I made a mistake,” she finally said. “I thought I could forget about him. Thought I could move on. But I guess I was wrong.”

Kevin’s expression was changing, slowly. She’d swear he
was . . . The bastard looked amused. She’d given up so much, changed her whole life plan, and he was going to laugh at her? “So, if Josh is around, I’d like to see him. Do you know where he is?”

“Not exactly,” Kevin said. He looked down at his watch, then back up at Ashley, and he wasn’t even trying to hide his grin anymore. “I’m going to guess Nebraska, or maybe Colorado.”

“What?”

“Well, you’re right, it’s just a guess. He left here first thing yesterday morning, I know that much. But I don’t know what route he was taking, and he’s a pain in the ass about roaming charges on his cell so I haven’t called him. We won’t know where he is unless he calls in from a motel or something. Which he isn’t likely to do.”

Ashley just stared at him. “What are you talking about?” she demanded. “Why the hell is Josh in Nebraska or wherever? Where’s he going?”

Kevin clearly thought she should have figured this out by now. “He’s going to Hollywood, Ash. Turns out he made a mistake. He met this girl, and then they broke up because they lived too far apart. He thought he could move on and forget about her, but then he figured he was wrong. So—”

“Wait.” Ashley took a few more steps and sank down onto the wide porch steps. “He’s going to L.A.? He’s . . . he’s
driving
?”

Kevin nodded again, his grin now so wide he was starting to look like a jack-o’-lantern. “He figured that would be easier for Rocky and Sunny. He didn’t think they’d want to fly.”

“Rocky and Sunny,” Ashley said as calmly as she could. “He’s going to L.A., and he’s bringing horses.”

“For the movie,” Kevin said helpfully, lowering himself to the stairs beside her. “I guess some guy had called him and wanted to cast Rocky in the movie. Is that what it’s called for horses? Getting cast? I think that word means
something different for horses. But, whatever, Rocky had a job if he wanted it.”

“Josh turned that down,” Ashley said faintly.

“Yeah. And then he changed his mind. He called the guy up and said if they were still interested, Rocky could come, but Josh wanted a job, too. He could help look after the animals, or do carpentry, or whatever. If the guy could find a job for Josh, he could use the horse.” Kevin shrugged. “I guess they really wanted that horse. The director herself called to agree to the deal. She talked to Josh for, like, five minutes. He said she wanted to know whether he was coming down to get back together with you. He figured she wanted to be sure he wouldn’t be a pain in the ass if it didn’t work out. I guess he convinced her. Or maybe she just really wanted that horse.”

Ashley stood up. Josh was on his way to L.A. Lauren had made it happen. No.
Josh
had made it happen. He’d been the one to make the call, the one who’d decided he’d give up his whole life in order to travel somewhere he hated so he could be with Ashley. Lauren had helped, but Josh had been the one who’d started it all.

“What about the business?” She asked. She looked around her. “The farm? The other horses, and Daisy?”

“It was time for me to get the hell out of my mom’s basement,” Kevin said. “So I’m babysitting the place until he figures out what he’s going to do with it. And Daisy’ll miss him, but she’ll be fine as long as she’s got a home here. The business?” He made an unhappy face. “The business was a mess anyway, really. He finished up the Ryersons’ job and the rest is all just little stuff. He can do some of the client contact over the phone, but mostly they want to see him face-to-face. I can do most of the physical work, but they don’t really trust me the way they trust him. So, yeah, the business is going to hurt. Which is just as well, really, since there’s only me to do all the work, and I’m not much good at hiring or supervising people.”

“Josh is going to L.A.,” Ashley said numbly. “To be with me.” The rest of it was details. The part where Josh was going to be in L.A. was the part that mattered. “Josh is going to L.A., and I’m up here.”

“Maybe you should cut your hair to buy him a watch chain, and he could sell his watch to buy you hair clips,” Kevin said impishly.

“Was that a literary allusion, Kevin? Did you just reference an O. Henry story?”

“We had to read it in school,” Kevin said defensively. “Josh probably did, too. When you see him, you can check if he remembers.”

When she saw Josh. What a sweet, tantalizing thought. “Josh is on his way to L.A., and I’m here. This is not right. I need to . . . Oh, Kevin.” The thought brought her up short. “Can Josh be happy down there? It’s not fair, is it? If one of us has to change our lives, it should be me, not him. I love it here. I could be happy here. But Josh? In the city?”

“Well, if he’s taking the horses he probably won’t be right downtown or anything.” Kevin shrugged. “You need to talk to him about it. In person. And I have no idea where the hell he is, so probably you want to get back down to L.A. and wait for him to show up. Right?”

Ashley stared at him. This wasn’t what she’d prepared herself for. She’d thought she was resigned to giving up on the movie, but now that there was a chance of keeping it, she was stunned by the sense of relief she felt. “I could still do the part,” she said slowly, trying the words out and looking for the trap. “I could have Josh
and
the part.”

Kevin nodded. He wasn’t laughing at her anymore. “Looks like,” he agreed. “There was no point in both of you being miserable.”

No. No point. So now Ashley could have it all. She frowned at Kevin and a bit of the elation drained out of her. She could have it all. But at what cost to Josh?

*   *   *

THE
next time Josh drove a pair of horses across the country, he wanted to do it without a broken collarbone. Rocky and Sunny were both healthy, calm, generous horses, but that didn’t mean he could expect them to just stand in a trailer for days on end like they were mechanical. So a few times a day he’d found a place to stop and let them walk around for a half hour or so, and each night had been spent at a layover barn where they’d gotten their own little paddock and a chance to stretch their legs some more. He’d done right by the animals.

But he’d pushed himself pretty hard. Long days of driving combined with restless nights, unable to find a sleeping position that didn’t strain his collarbone. And now that he was almost there, pulling up to the farm where he’d been told to meet the film’s head wrangler, he had a new worry. What if this was all a terrible idea? What if Ashley didn’t want him there, or what if she did at the start and then realized that he was just an infatuation, just a guy who really should have stayed a golden memory? Even harder to imagine, what if she
did
want him there? Could he really commit to this? He was walking away from his family, his friends, his farm, his town, everything he’d known and loved for his whole life. Was he ready to give that up?

He pulled the truck into the parking area and sat there for a while. He thought of Ashley’s slow smile, and the way he felt when he saw her snuggled up in his bed. The way she swam, as if she was a part of the lake, and her excitement at attaching a board to a dock or finding a half-assed waterfall. He thought of watching her drive away and how he’d felt while she was gone, and he knew he never, never wanted to feel that way again.

She’d been right when she’d said he was a coward. Well, she hadn’t said that exactly, but she’d implied it. She’d said he wasn’t fighting for this. For them. But now he was.

He swung down out of the cab and headed toward the barn. He’d get the horses settled, then go get cleaned up at the apartment the wrangler had said was available above the barn. Then he’d worry about Ashley.

He found his way to the door of the barn and took a deep breath. The familiar smell of horses and hay was calming. He was a long way from home, and his life no longer looked like anything he could recognize, but at least some things were still the same.

A teenage girl was sweeping the aisle and looked at him curiously. A brown horse’s head bobbed over the stall door near her and she absentmindedly leaned toward the animal to exchange greetings as they both waited to see what the new arrival was looking for.

“I’m Josh Sullivan,” he said. His whole life, that last name had meant something. Not always something good, but at least it had been
something
, a connection to a place and a history and a family. Way down in California, it was meaningless. “I brought a couple horses down. I’m supposed to be meeting Don Brady?”

The girl nodded and smiled as if he’d said the magic words. “Don’s in the office,” she said, and gestured to the far end of the barn. “It’s the door on the far side of the tack room.”

Josh headed down, looking around as he went. The barn wasn’t as fancy as the ones he’d been picturing, the ones with the skylights and whatever, but it was well lit and well ventilated, and everything seemed to be in its place. The horses would be okay here. Safe. He hadn’t just risked his animals in order to chase his own selfish desires. Another worry crossed off his list.

Of course, there was still the big one, but he put that out of his mind and knocked on the wooden door that he hoped was for the office.

The door opened to show a weathered face under a cowboy hat. The man was about Josh’s height but whip-thin; his
leathery skin made him look a little intimidating, but then he smiled. “Josh Sullivan?”