Judith Stacy (18 page)

He stirred, his head on the pillow close to hers. When he opened his eyes, she smiled. He smiled too and pushed himself up. A stubble of dark whiskers covered his jaw. His hair stuck out on one side.

“Good morning,” she said quietly, smoothing the errant shock of hair into place.

He leaned down and planted a soft kiss on her lips. “That’s the best night’s sleep I’ve had in months.”

She smiled. “Me, too.”

“Ask me,” he said, grinning.

“Ask you what?”

“What you used to always ask,” he said. “Ask me to stay home with you today.”

A giddy laugh slipped out. “You’d do that? You’d stay with me?”

He gave her an apologetic half smile. “Things were a little different last night. A little rushed.”

“We’re out of practice.”

Brandon lifted her hand and pressed it to his lips. “We could stay here together today, if you’d like? Get to know each other again.”

“Practice makes perfect.”

That knowing grin she hadn’t seen in so long came back.

“Can I look at you?” he asked. “All of you? In the light?”

She hesitated. “You might not like what you see.”

“I doubt that….” Brandon got to his knees, caught her gown and pulled it over her head. “You’re just as beautiful as I remember—”

He froze. Didn’t move an inch. Didn’t draw a breath. Confusion drew his features tight.

Jana spread her hand across her lower abdomen, splaying her fingers to hide the marks childbirth had left on her. They weren’t pretty. She knew that.

Horror overcame Brandon’s face. “You’ve—you’ve had a
baby
.”

She blinked up at him. “Well, yes—”

“You’ve had a baby!” Brandon bounded off the bed, faced her with uncontrolled fury. “While you were in London! You had a baby—didn’t you!”

Jana sat up, not understanding. “You said you knew. Last night, you said you’d found out yesterday. That it didn’t matter. You said—”

“What the hell are you talking about?” He roared the words, sounding like a animal wounded beyond comprehension.

“Outside the Morgan Hotel,” Jana said, frantic now to make him remember. “You said you were there and found out—”

“That you were Mrs. Avery! I saw Fisk and he told me you were behind that Mrs. Avery column!”

“Oh, Brandon—”

“Whose is it?” he asked, his voice now low and guttural. He pointed at her belly, his hand shaking. “Whose baby did you have?”

She gasped. Her hand went to her throat. He thought she’d had someone else’s baby? Is that what he meant? Could that possibly be what he thought?

“Who was it! Some man you took up with on the ship! Someone you stumbled across in London!” He drew in a hot, ragged breath. “Get out of my house. I want you gone before I come home tonight. And don’t you ever come back again.”

He stormed out of the room, slamming the door so hard the window shook.

Jana broke into tears.

N
othing had ever hurt like this before. Two broken fingers. A horse kick. A fight that sent him through a glass window. Nothing had caused this much pain.

Not even when she left the first time.

Brandon shoved his hands into his trouser pockets and plodded on. He’d walked the city all day. Wandered aimless through the streets since he’d headed for his office this morning, then bypassed the building without going inside. Nothing that awaited mattered to him.

Nothing mattered.

For most of the day he hadn’t been able to comprehend what had happened. Hearing last night that Jana would stay with him. Making sweet love to her. Then waking to find himself caught in the ultimate betrayal.

Brandon turned a corner, not sure what part of town he was in now. Not caring, either.

Should he have known what Jana had done? Should he have seen it? The signs were there. Her calm demeanor. The patience she showed. Her fuller breasts and more mature figure. Her choice of clothing that made her look like a grown woman, rather than a mere girl. Their lovemaking last night had been different. Had he just refused to put the clues together, see what was right in front of his eyes?

He didn’t know. Hell, he didn’t know anything right now.

Except that he’d never been more miserable in his life.

For a moment he toyed with the idea of going to Leona Albright. But he dismissed the thought. She couldn’t give him ice cream and spit off the railing and make
this
better for him.

The hurt was too deep. It would never go away. Betrayed by his wife, the one person he truly loved.

Why had she done it? If he knew, maybe he could understand.

Brandon looked up, tried to get his bearings, then headed for the Morgan Hotel. Her aunt could explain what had happened. He quickened his pace. Yes, he’d ask her aunt.

At the registration desk, Brandon asked for the room number. The young man who’d been on duty the last time he was there didn’t bother to check the records.

“I’m sorry, sir, but Miss Armstrong and her party checked out,” he said. “This morning.”

The words hit Brandon like a kick in the gut. He turned away.

Oh, God. She was really gone.

Home.

But only because there was no place else to go.

“Have my things packed,” Brandon said to Charles as he stepped into the foyer.

“But, sir—”

“I’m staying at a hotel for a while.” He passed the butler his bowler and walked slowly away.

Everything he looked at reminded him of Jana. The construction still not finished. The wallpaper sample books. The breakfast room, the garden, that tiny little storage room she’d shoved him in, calling it his study.

He didn’t know how he’d bear going upstairs.

All he knew was that he couldn’t stay in this house any longer. He’d sell it, furniture and all. Maybe he’d leave the city, the state…the country.

Her scent still permeated the place, as vibrant as if she still lived here. Brandon headed down the hallway for one last look at the sitting room she loved so much. He stepped inside and—

There she sat.

Jana looked up from the book on her lap and saw Brandon in the doorway. She couldn’t read the expression on his face. Stunned at seeing her, yes. But furious? Or thrilled? She couldn’t be sure.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

Not furious. Angry, though. She could accept that.

Jana placed her book aside. “I’m not going anywhere,” she told him.

“I told you this morning I wanted you gone, that I never wanted to see you again,” he said through clenched teeth.

So much was at stake here, yet Jana had never experienced such a calm in her life.

She gazed steadily at him. “I’m not leaving. I am never going to leave you again, Brandon. I won’t abandon you, or desert you, or walk out on you. If you want me gone, you’ll have to pick me up and dump me on the street yourself.”

He glared at her, so much hurt in his eyes. But she could make it go away. If he’d let her.

“Just remember,” Jana said. “If you throw me out, you’ll be losing two of us.”

His brows drew together. “What is that supposed to mean?”

She gestured across the room to a white bassinet sitting in the corner.

“Your son.”

Brandon’s gaze darted to the bassinet, then to her again. He pulled back a little.

“Mine?” he asked, almost in a whisper.

“Yes, yours. Never mind that you accused me of adultery, plus a few other ugly things while I was in London. We’ll get to those another day. Right now, I’d like you to meet your son.”

“You were—before you left here, you were carrying my child?”

“I didn’t know it, but yes, I was,” she said. “I realized it only after I’d arrived in London. I thought I was seasick.”

He looked angry again. “Then why didn’t you come back right away?”

“Because you weren’t exactly my favorite person at that time,” Jana told him. “But mostly, it was because I refused to risk the crossing.”

His glare turned more menacing. “You kept him from me.”

She rose from the chair. No reason to hold back now. “You were a terrible husband. I decided you’d make an even worse father. I wouldn’t subject my child to that sort of life. So, yes, I kept him a secret. I intended to secure a divorce and never tell you about him.

“Of course,” she went on, “you spoiled my plans by turning out to be a wonderful husband. I have no doubt you’ll make a wonderful father. If you want us, that is.”

Once more, Brandon’s gaze jumped to the bassinet for a moment. “Show me some proof. A doctor’s notice, a birth registry. Something that gives his birth date.”

“No.”

His jaw tightened. “No?”

“No,” she said again. “You have to accept us in your heart, Brandon. Both of us. If you can’t do that then there’s no point in us staying.”

He didn’t answer, didn’t move, just stared at her.

“He looks like you,” Jana said, then gave him a wry smile. “Unfortunately, he’s inherited my disposition.”

Jana went to Brandon and slid her arm through his. “Come meet your son.”

He didn’t budge. For a long moment he simply looked down at her. Then, finally, Jana led him across the room.

The baby lay sleeping on his back in the bassinet, his hands curled into fists, a shock of light brown hair covering his crown.

“Your son,” Jana said, gesturing. “Nicholas Brandon Sayer.”

“You named him after me?”

“And my father. I hope you don’t mind.”

“He’s so big.” Brandon glanced at her belly. “He was actually inside you?”

“He’s been growing for a while now.”

A long moment passed while they stood side by side, looking down at the baby.

“He’s really mine?” Brandon asked, as if perhaps he was afraid to believe it.

“Yes.”

“Do you have a birth registry?”

“Do I need one?”

Brandon shook his head. “No.”

“I’m so sorry for all the hurt I caused you.” Jana stretched up and kissed his cheek. “Ready to hold your son now?”

“Hold him? I’ve never held a baby before, and I—”

“Wake up, sleepyhead, and meet your papa.” Jana lifted the baby from the bassinet. He fussed and gurgled, then burst out crying.

“See? I told you he had my disposition,” Jana said and laid him in Brandon’s arms.

“Wait, Jana, no,” he said, juggling the baby awkwardly. “He’s crying.”

“You’ll get used to it.”

Brandon held the baby away from him. “Something’s wet under here.”

“Consider yourself christened.”

“But—”

“Relax, Brandon, you’ll be fine.” Jana eased the baby against Brandon’s chest, then slid her arms around the two of them. “We’ll all be fine. As long as we’re together.”

“Excuse me, Mrs. Sayer.”

Jana turned her attention to the doorway of the sitting room and saw Charles.

“Yes?”

“Mr. Sayer has arrived home.”

“Already?” She glanced at the mantel clock. “It isn’t even noon yet. Where is he? Never mind. I know.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Charles said and nodded wisely.

Jana climbed the stairs to the second floor, knowing without a doubt where to find Brandon. After spending three full days at home together, she’d learned his habits very well.

If he wasn’t in bed with her, he was in the nursery with the baby.

At the end of the hallway, that’s exactly where she found him. He’d already run off the nanny and was sitting in the rocking chair, little Nicholas sleeping in his arms.

Tears of joy pooled in Jana’s eyes. Big, sturdy, strong Brandon, cradling his fragile son with such care. Her heart ached with happiness.

“A half day at the office was all you could stand?” she asked, sniffing back her tears.

“I handled everything,” he said, keeping his voice down so as not to wake the baby. “Well, everything that absolutely couldn’t wait.”

“What about your Jennings project?”

He tilted his head. “You did an outstanding job of sabotaging several months of work. You cost me a small fortune and, very nearly, my best friend.”

She cringed. “I’m sorry.”

“Not to worry,” Brandon said. “I’ve put the pieces back together again, though it did cost me yet another small fortune.”

“Sorry,” she said again, giving him a weak smile. “What did you do?”

“Bought another building to house the
Messenger
. We’re going ahead with the renovations for the Jennings building, honoring the leases. Everyone is pleased.”

“Including Noah?”

“Including Noah,” Brandon said.

“What about your other friends?” Jana asked. “Are they still upset with you over the articles in the newspaper?”

“Things are calming down. I guess a little controversy isn’t such a bad thing,” Brandon said. “Although, it would be a good idea to keep your Mrs. Avery identity a secret.”

“I agree,” Jana said. “I went by the women’s refuge first thing this morning to check on the volunteer list. Oliver was there. Have you seen him lately? He seems more self-confident, more self-assured. Do you think the success of the newspaper brought this on?”

Brandon thought a few “afternoon teas” with Leona had brought it on, but didn’t say so.

“Oliver asked Noah if he could call on Audrey,” Brandon said. “He said yes, naturally.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful. Oliver and Audrey make such a nice couple, don’t you think?”

“I think you and I make a nice couple,” Brandon told her, grinning. He rose from the rocker, steadying the baby so as not to wake him. “I was thinking, though, that we might try something more to cement our marriage.”

Jana walked over. “Other than trying to have another baby? And you are working awfully hard at it, Brandon, giving it your very best effort.”

“You have my tireless, unceasing devotion to the cause,” he told her. “But I was thinking that with the renovations to the Jennings building underway, and since I’ve fired that decorator, what’s-his-name, that you could pick out the paint and wallpaper and things.”

“I’d like that,” Jana said. “I guess you noticed your study downstairs. I hope you don’t mind that I changed the color again.”

“Dark blue, walnut furniture, hunting scenes on the walls.” Brandon pulled his brows together. “It’s not lilac, but I guess I’ll learn to live with it.”

Jana slid her arm through his and snuggled close. “I got a telegram from Aunt Maureen this morning. She’s safely back in San Francisco, and wishes us well.”

Brandon leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you, too,” she answered. “Do you know what I like about us?”

“The lovemaking?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows playfully.

“Well, yes,” she admitted. “But there’s something else.”

Jana curled one arm around Brandon’s shoulder and stroked her fingers through the baby’s soft hair.

“What I like about us,” she said, “is that now there’re three of us.”