Joshua Healy (Mitchell Healy Book 10) (22 page)

“I’d rather drive off a fucking cliff than go anywhere with you, Liv.”

“Please don’t treat me this way, Josh. I didn’t ask to get pregnant.”

“No, but you pretty much forced me to fuck you. We had unprotected sex. Come on, do you think I was born yesterday?”

She crosses her arms over her chest. “I wanted you that night; to convince you that we should be together. I was trying to get you back. You admitted you still had feelings for me.”

“You coerced a drunk man to say what you wanted to hear. I barely remember it. I sure as hell didn’t know what I was saying.”

She’s crying harder now.

“Because of you I’ve lost Tamsyn and Wes. You expect me to pick up and leave my family so we can be together? This ain’t the olden days. I’m not obligated to be with you for the sake of our child. Get your head out of your ass and wake up. I don’t owe you shit!”

“You’re right. I just thought you’d at least want to try.”

I look her straight in the eyes. “You were my first love. We shared a lot of memories together, but we were kids. I can’t do this anymore. I won’t play head games. I. LOVE. HER. Get that through your skull. It’s never going to go away.”

“What if I leave the country and keep you from your child?”

I throw up my hands. “At this point, I don’t care anymore. I’m a sperm donor. You’re not going to use a kid as leverage to trap me. You want to keep a piece of me, there you go. It’s all you’re ever going to get.”

“So you’ll have no problem signing over parental rights?”

It hurts. I shouldn’t do this. My parents will flip the fuck out when they hear it, but  I can’t play this charade anymore. I’m out of patience. I want it over. “Yeah. I’ll sign the damn papers, after you have a paternity test done when the baby is born.”

“You know when I got pregnant.”

“You could have screwed ten people that week. How the hell would I know?”

“I hope you’re happy with this. If I leave, I’m never coming back.”

“Thank the fucking lord! Good riddance!” I wave with a sarcastic grin, only to realize she’s probably dead serious.

Chapter 29

Tamsyn

I’ve been staring at the little wrapped box for over an hour. If I open it everything I’ve worked to get over will be ruined. Seeing Josh tonight only tells me that I’m not over him. He’s never looked more handsome, and it’s obvious it was for my benefit, but I don’t know why. We’ve gone weeks without contact, and now he shows up with a Christmas present. I’ve done everything in my power to keep from running into him.

Was it necessary for him to mention my hair? I stopped worrying about what people thought of me. Frankly, I haven’t cared enough to want to look good. I dyed my hair back to it’s original color, and stopped wearing makeup. Why bother when all I do is cry it off? I’ve felt ugly for weeks, and he shows up and tells me I’m beautiful. It’s not fair.

We’re about to close up for the holiday. Most of the sales associates have gone home to be with their families. My father left to take care of some last minute shopping. Lights are being turned off in the offices beside mine, and I’m still staring at this little box.

It’s been hard walking away from that family, especially this time of year. As difficult as it was to put on a brave face at Thanksgiving, I still had a wonderful time. Josh’s mother begged me to reconsider. She tried to convince me that he’d never stray again. She blamed herself for the night he slept with Livvy, saying they’d been drinking and left him alone in a bad condition. It still happened. And it hurts. It still to this day feels exactly the same way it did when I first learned the truth.

I’ve tried to keep busy, going to parties before everyone left for holiday break. I even gave a couple guys my number, okay, I gave them an old number because I can’t even imagine dating yet.

Telling Josh I was seeing someone happened so fast. I lied right to his face, because I knew if I gave him the opportunity, he’d have me right back in his arms again.

An older salesmen sticks his head in my door. “I’m about to leave. What are you still doing here, Tamsyn? Your dad gave us all the green light.”

“I’m out of here, soon, Bobby. Have a Merry Christmas. Make sure you give those kiddos a hug for me.”

“Sure will. Right back at ya, kid.”

And then I’m alone.

It’s quiet, the only sounds coming from the fluorescent overhead lights. I’m on the internet, going all the way back to when I starting ignoring his private messages. I coast through dozens of them, each saying how much he needs me in his life. I read them until I’m emotionally drained, and then continue looking through pictures that were posted when we were together. In only a few months we made so many memories. When I close my eyes I can still smell him, I can see those dimples showing whenever he’s being ornery. I can feel his strong arms holding me tight after we’ve made love for hours.

I take the little box in my hand and shake it. I can hear something moving, but am betting it’s the note he told me I have to read first. I stop fighting the urge and tear the paper away until I reach the box, with a folded note attached to the top. I open it up and recognize his handwriting. My stomach knots up as I begin to read it.

Tamsyn,

I loved you yesterday. I loved you today, and I still will tomorrow. Even though we’re apart, I wanted you to have something; a Christmas gift that will last for years to come. No matter where you are, or who you end up with, remember, I was the first to give you this. Look at it each year and be reminded of what we had. Never forget that it was your love that made me the man I am today. You were never the consolation. You are my everything.

Forever yours,

Joshua Healy

P.S. Don’t you dare return this gift. It’s for you and only you and I threw away the receipt, so there.

I can hardly see the joke at the end because I’m a blubbering mess. I read it a second and third time before preparing to open the box. Knowing Josh it’s a charm with two hearts and he kept one for himself. He’s sweet and corny like that.

I’m rendered speechless when I open the box and see what’s sitting inside of it. The most spectacular piece of jewelry I’ve ever seen, surrounded in a platinum setting. It’s stunning and elegant, and full of chocolate and white diamonds, five in total. The center stone has to be over a carat. I close the box and then open it again, just in case I’m dreaming this. Sure enough, it’s the same ring. I’m in shock. Why would he do this? Why would he want me to keep something so expensive and sentimental? He’s lost his mind. I can’t accept this.

Knowing that I have to return it, I lock up the building and start driving to the ranch. It’s almost ten and I’m hoping his parents aren’t already asleep. There are Kentucky plates parked in front of the farmhouse. I wipe my eyes one more time before preparing to see the family that I’ve missed so much. I’m not even at the front door before someone is opening it to greet me. It’s Amy, and she’s coming at me with her arms spread. “Tamsyn, oh my goodness it’s so good to see you. Look at your hair. It’s fabulous.”

“It’s good to see you as well. I’m sorry I’ve stayed away. I had finals and…”

“It’s okay. You’re here now and that’s all we care about.”

Even Josh’s dad comes over and hugs me. “We’ve missed you, darlin’.” The second he says it I think of Josh. He’s more like his father than he knows.

“Is Josh around?”

“He’s somewhere on the property. He’s having a tough time lately.” When the man says it the room of people stop talking. All eyes are on me, like it’s my fault.

“Should I go look for him?”

“You can if you want. First you need to eat something. I know you can’t resist my home cooking.”

She’s right, I can’t. “Okay.”

Amy pulls me into the kitchen and sits me down at the large table. She throws a bunch of food on a plate and tosses it in the microwave to reheat. While I wait, I’m greeted by Christian, Addison, and even Cammie. When she hugs me she stops to whisper in my ear. “You need to find that man and knock some sense into him.”

“Why? What’s been going on?”

“He’s withdrawn. He doesn’t talk to any of us. He spends most of his time locked in his room. He’s drinking like a fish.”

“What about Livvy and the pregnancy? I figured he would at least support her.”

Cammie backs away and laughs sarcastically. “Yeah right. They argue all the time. I only hear her side of things, but the phone calls never end cordially. I don’t know how they’re going to work things out for the baby. Whatever you did to him, he’s over that girl.”

I smirk, but keep my opinions to myself. It’s none of my business anymore. I can’t let this affect me. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

She raises her eyebrows and pops a cookie into her mouth. “Wes loved me even when I was having a kid with someone else. He’s raising Maddy as his own. She has his last name and everything.”

“I didn’t know…”

“No one does. She even looks like him. It’s a long story that none of us ever want to hear about. It’s just the point. I know you think you did the right thing for Josh, but sometimes life isn’t meant to be simple. My brother might have screwed up, but his heart has always been in the right place when it comes to you, Tamsyn. He’s smitten, and now he’s a bump on a log. I’ve never seen him this messed up.”

Amy sits a hot plate in front of me. “Cam, Tamsyn didn’t come here to get the third degree. It’s the holidays. Let’s all put our problems to the side and enjoy spending time together, okay?”

Amy sits down with me and folds her hands. I can tell she wants to talk more, but feels obligated to stay out of it. “He still cleans his room,” she mentions. “I figured the moment you left it would go back to the way it was, but it hasn’t.”

It’s the little things that tear at my heartstrings. How am I supposed to get over a man who continues to hold onto hope that we will be together? If she only knew what I have in my pocket to return to him. She’d flip.

I eat my plate of food and clean my plate before peering out the window to see if Josh’s truck is parked out back. Having no luck at the house, I decide to look for him. Promising I’ll come back before I leave, I put my coat on tighter and plan to walk around until I spot him. Knowing Josh, he’s probably hammered in the barn. He likes being able to drink and not have to drive anywhere. Judging from the way he appeared earlier, I’m sure he’s in rare form.

I check the barn first, inside and out. The twins and their wives are playing a game of pool, while Callie and Cob sit on the couch watching a movie. Isabella, Rusty, and her parents are sitting at a table nearby playing cards. “Hey guys, have you seen Josh?”

“Tamsyn. It’s great to see you,” Callie responds while heading in my direction. She kisses me on the cheek and gives me a once over. “I love the hair.”

“Thanks.” Maybe Josh was right.

“Does Josh know you’re here?”

“No. He came by the dealership earlier, but I haven’t heard from him since.”

“Girl, he’s a train wreck. He mopes constantly. I’m worried about him. It’s not like before either. This is a whole new side of Josh.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, as you know we’ve always been close. Before you he’d go through women like they were going out of style. It was his way of staying single and in control. The moment you came into the picture that way of life went bye bye. He fell hard. None of us saw it coming. The past month has been terrible for him. I’ve never seen him so depressed.”

“I hate hearing this. It makes me sad that he can’t move on.”

“Can you? Have you?”

I shake my head. “No. It hasn’t been easy for me either.”

“Because you belong together. When you know you know. Ask Cob. We’ve been through it. I wasn’t giving him up, no way, no how.”

I smirk. “I appreciate you telling me this, Callie. I’m going to find him and see if I can help.”

“You can. Forgive him. It’s the only thing that will straighten his ass back up.”

I wave to the rest of the family as I exit the barn and continue looking for Josh. I’m almost to another pole building when I hear screaming. It’s two people arguing and I recognize both of the voices. I quickly duck behind some farm equipment to keep from being seen.

He’s still in his business suit, standing by his truck and yelling at Livvy.

“I’d rather drive off a fucking cliff than go anywhere with you, Liv.”

“Please don’t treat me this way, Josh. I didn’t ask to get pregnant.”

“No, but you pretty much forced me to fuck you. We had unprotected sex. Come on, do you think I was born yesterday?”

Livvy is getting more mad by the second, but Josh isn’t holding back.
“I wanted you that night; to convince you that we should be together. I was trying to get you back. You admitted you still had feelings for me.”

“You coerced a drunk man to say what you wanted to hear. I barely remember it. I sure as hell didn’t know what I was saying.”

I never thought I’d see the day when Olivia Parrish cried because she didn’t get her way.

Then Josh mentions me, and my heart begins to race.
“Because of you I’ve lost Tamsyn and Wes. You expect me to pick up and leave my family so we can be together? This ain’t the olden days. I’m not obligated to be with you for the sake of our child. Get your head out of your ass and wake up. I don’t owe you shit!”

“You’re right. I just thought you’d at least want to try.”

He’s getting closer to her and pointing in her face.
“You were my first love. We shared a lot of memories together, but we were kids. I can’t do this anymore. I won’t play head games. I. LOVE. HER. Get that through your skull. It’s never going to go away.”

HE LOVES ME.

“What if I leave the country and keep you from your child?”

Josh tosses his hands in the air out of frustration.
“At this point, I don’t care anymore. I’m a sperm donor. You’re not going to use a kid as leverage to trap me. You want to keep a piece of me, there you go. It’s all you’re ever going to get.”

Livvy starts playing hard ball. She’s desperate.
“So you’ll have no problem signing over parental rights?”