Jodie's Song (8 page)

“I'll be praying for him. For all of you.”

Jodie puffed out even breaths and studied her new friend as they ground out their second mile along the pathway. Their sneakers hit the fine gravel trail in near perfect unison. “You're a gem, Kaci. Thanks. The doctor assured me the stents will improve his quality of life. Maybe, when we cross this bridge, he'll be able to turn a corner health wise.”

Silence beat past in time to the pace they established. “That sounds promising. Plus, your dad sounds like a strong man.”

“Always has been.” Their run was light and steady, hard enough to sweat, easy enough to chat. “Did I ever tell you that he's the one who got me started wanting to be a DJ?” Kaci shook her head, waiting. “He knew how to evangelize in the way he lived and the perceptions he'd share. He didn't ever preach or breathe fire and brimstone. Instead, he loved to share his heart and show God's presence in the way he lived. I like to think it's because of him that I'm able to somehow reach out.” They slowed the pace as they neared the buildings of the apartment complex. “But since I've come home, I've discovered there's a level of distance involved in being on the radio. For the most part, people don't know who I am. That's a blessing and a curse. I can profess loud and clear, and I can be a witness, but there's a buffer of anonymity and solitude that can become dangerous in a way, if that makes any sense.”

“It does.”

“Watching my father deal with his illness has thrown my world into an unexpected faith crisis…a crisis for which I've been completely unprepared. Still, in spite of that, all these wonderful possibilities have come to life. So, why am I afraid of moving forward? Why can't I step into a new life and get on with it? Isn't that ridiculous?”

Kaci never broke form as she let loose a chuckle. “Not at all. To me it seems like what you need to do is embrace your faith again. Trust God, and what He's showing you. You're great, Jodie.”

Except when it comes to matters of the heart,
Jodie thought.
Kaci's right. I don't trust.

She kept stride and opted to display humor rather than angst. “Well, you're easy on me.”

“That's how I roll.”

They shared grins then Jodie went sober all over again. She craved answers. “What I need most is what I've found ever since I've come back home. A jump-start—a re-ignition of the fire that burned inside me when I first started my career in Christian radio.”

“Seems to me like Kevin Mitchell has been giving you a piece of that puzzle.”

OK—score another one for Kaci and her abilities of perception. “Yes, he has, but he's got so much to contend with right now—and I do, too. Plus, I'm just not sure about going all in when it comes to romance. I don't want to get hurt, and I certainly don't want to hurt him. The timing is off.”

“Regardless of any of that, he supports you, right?”

“Right.”

“And you'd do the same for him, right?”

“Absolutely.”

Kaci didn't elaborate. Instead, she eyed Jodie long and hard, finishing their run at the community center where they poured glasses of cold water from a pitcher in the refrigerator. By unspoken agreement, they carried the beverages outside and claimed a bistro table on the outdoor patio so they could soak in some sunshine. After all, springtime was fleeting, with moments like this too precious to be pushed to the side.

Much like life—and love.

That piece of insight jarred Jodie to the core.

 

****

 

“As many of you who have become regular listeners of my show may already know, I'm in a season of life governed by one word. Change. Change in my job, change in location, change in relationships, changes in health and security.” Seated on a padded rolling chair in the broadcast booth at KWJD, Jodie leaned toward the mouth-level microphone. She propped her arms against the console, fingering the headset she wore, considering her words before continuing.

“Working my way through a life in flux has been a challenge, to be sure. At times I've forgotten the promise of Jeremiah 29:11. God intends hope and goodness. The promise of a future full of His light. I've had to learn. I've had to find ways to remember God meets me and holds me. Believe it or not, He's used landscaping and the loving care of a dear new friend to teach me how to re-center and focus when storms hit. Landscaping. Who'd'a thunk it? Hard work. Careful tending. Moisture from the rain, warmth from the sun. Friendship and care. It seems so obvious and easy, but a lot of times the obvious is what we fail to see, isn't it? That's certainly been the case for me.”

Jodie closed her eyes and drifted into the moment, into emotions that needed to be released from the confines of her heart. She was only dimly aware of the audience listening just beyond her sound booth. She tuned out the equipment, the technicians and studio walls. In no more than a blink of time, her mind's eye drew portraits of Kevin sculpting the earth, then laying down cards in a spirited game of black jack as they passed time at the hospital. Gratitude swelled, filling her chest.

Her father's surgery would take place tomorrow afternoon. Kevin's strength, his support, and her new family of friends at Heart's Haven were the blessings God had delivered to see her through the times to come.

“How does God transform your life?” Jodie began to finish off her entrée to the upcoming music and commercial set. “Let's listen to the latest from Brit Nicole, and when we come back, let's talk; let's share. I want to hear from you.”

Humming along to the music, she slid the headset cover from her right ear and tapped into her iPad, intent on reviewing the latest online news bulletins. She traded a brief look with her sound tech, Larry, who sat next to her, running the sound board. He gave her a smile and a nod. In her periphery, she noticed call lines illuminating. That made her smile. Good. People were responding. Work, as ever, became a perfect antidote to fear and stress.

When Jodie's show returned, she depressed the first call line and extended a greeting.

“Hi, Jodie. My name is Dana.”

The caller sounded young—perhaps of high school or college age. Jodie treasured the moments when young adults reached out in faith and hope.

“Hi, Dana. What's your story?”

“Well…umm…see…I just found out yesterday that my daddy lost his job.” The youngster's voice caught. “And I hope…I pray…”

Jodie's heart ached as her caller cleared her throat and seemed to fight through choking tears.

“I really and truly want to believe God's got this covered, but I'm scared. Does that mean I'm bad? That I don't believe, or trust?”

“Oh, honey, God understands scared. Believe me. Your reaction isn't bad at all. You're human. Like everyone else.”

A sniffle coursed the airwaves. “I graduate from high school next month. I was going to have this big celebration with all my family and friends. I've been planning to go to college, and…and I feel like change is the only thing happening in my life, too. Just like you said. I'm glad you can understand what I'm going through.”

Jodie closed her eyes and prayed.
Father, help me. Please, give me Your words…

“Dana, let me assure you of the fact that you're not alone. God will see you and your family through.”

“My daddy? My mama? They keep telling me life is the equalizer. Life can change on a dime. Life needs to be appreciated in the here and now. Bad can turn good and good can turn bad just as fast as anything.”

“They're right.” Like her dad. Like Kevin. Like Andy Hart and all the changes taking place in her heart.

“And…and…they keep telling me I shouldn't worry about the future, because God's already working out His plan and we need to trust Him, especially since we don't really know what will happen next. Do you believe that?”

Embrace the moment, rather than trying to plan for a future that might—or might not—materialize. The caller's words acted like stone-cold conviction against all the reasons why she had pushed fulfillment away—destroying all the reasons why Kevin, and the idea of a romantic, permanent relationship, had been relegated to the outside of her dreams.

Jodie steeled herself and breathed out slowly. “Well, Dana, I believe God uses everything—even the scariest circumstances—to show Himself. I've faced similar feelings. Fear, being depleted, wanting to honor and support my family. You know, this show becomes very personal to me at times. There are so many instances during the course of the three hours we spend together each day when I feel a strong pull on my heart. Just now, as that beautiful song
Redeemed
by Big Daddy Weave played out its message of God's grace, I could almost hear a voice saying over and over again, ‘Cast your cares upon the Lord and he will sustain you. He will never let the righteous be shaken.' Psalm fifty-five, verse twenty-two.”

“It's why I called in.”

“And I'm so glad you did. Dana, please keep holding on to the blessings God delivers rather than the heartache. That takes depth of faith, and character. Times ever and always change, but God is constant through it all. Stay strong, and remember, I admire you, honey.”

For the remaining forty minutes testimony, witness, and music coursed the airwaves, but Jodie's heart, the song of her spirit, was never far from Kevin Mitchell. Today's airing had knocked her to her knees.

Once the broadcast wrapped, Jodie stood and welcomed afternoon talk show host Laura Phelps to the booth. A newfound strength and resolution had her looking forward to today's interlude with Kevin. She definitely needed to talk to him, and find a way to express her emotions.

“Great show, Jodie.”

Jodie snapped alert. “Thanks, Laura. Have a good one, and I'll see y'all tomorrow.”

She pushed through the studio door and exited the building. As she crossed the parking lot, aiming for her car, Jodie's cell phone rang. Caller ID prompted a smile as she engaged the device. Kevin. Maybe he had heard the show.

“Hey, Kevin! I'm on my way to the Haven. I should be arriving at the complex in about twenty minutes.”

An ominous beat of silence ensued. At first all she heard was a bit of background noise, then Kevin cleared his throat. “I wanted to wait until you were off the air. Umm. I'm at Falls Memorial. Vivian and I just followed the ambulance in. Andy collapsed while he was doing some gardening with Madison.” A second, longer silence moved past. “It…it isn't good, Jodie.”

 

 

 

 

9

 

Jodie leaned heavily against Kevin's side, drained after only a few minutes of being swept into this tragic scene. They stood in a small, dimly lit room, a private space in the hospital meant for one purpose, the first tears of loss and mourning.

Kevin's hold on her waist went tight, almost too much so; Jodie absorbed the minor discomfort without complaint or comment. She understood what remained unspoken—that he craved support. An anchor.

Andy Hart, the gentle giant, had passed to his heavenly home, into the arms of his beloved angels…and eternal Savior.

“He…he can't be gone.” Kevin's words cut a laden silence. His chin quivered.

Vivian sat in a chair, twisting a damp handkerchief. “Andy Hart fought the best fight he could. He was the one man I know of who was strong enough to send the devil packing. God gained Himself a powerful spirit today.”

But following those strong, faith-filled words, Vivian broke down into body-wracking sobs. Kevin went to her side immediately. Kneeling by her chair, he held the weeping woman in his arms.

Not knowing what else to do, longing to be of comfort, Jodie crossed the room to a water dispenser. She filled a small paper cup and returned to offer Vivian the beverage. She looked up with red, but grateful eyes, accepting the gesture with a simple but eloquent nod.

Before drinking, Vivian used a trembling fingertip to brush away a dribble of tears that tracked down her weathered cheek. All the while, one tiny word reverberated through Jodie's mind and soul.

No.

This couldn't possibly be happening. Kaci's wedding was on the horizon. So was Easter. New life. The beauty of spring at Heart's Haven—flowers, fragrance, sunlight, warmth, and golden light…angel song.

A promising future stretched, packed with everything for which Andy Hart had lived.

“I'm so glad you're here,” Kevin's murmured words interrupted her thoughts. His breath danced against her hair as he rested a cheek against the crown of her head. He sounded so exhausted.

“What can I do to help?” Jodie posed the question to both Kevin and Vivian. She wanted to do something—but what? For now, her father was being watched over by Tracee, and he had the grandkids for happy company as he prepared for tomorrow's surgery.

She already figured Kevin would take it upon himself to see to Vivian's welfare, and a good number of the funeral arrangements as well as the bevy of horrid details that accompanied the end of a life. Given those facts, Jodie wondered how she could be present for Kevin in the same way he had been present for her.

A kaleidoscope of images whirled through her mind: wedding preps Vivian would now need to sideline, the task of nourishing the fresh plantings, prepping the grounds with decorations for the James/Calvert wedding celebration that Kevin would likely have to ignore in the face of more important matters.

“Stay with me,” Kevin whispered. His tired eyes beseeched. “For now, please, do you think you could just stay with me?”

The spinning halted at once. After that, only one thing remained. Kevin.
Love.
Jodie looked into his eyes and stretched on tiptoe to claim his lips in a quick, eloquent expression of her tumultuous emotions. “Don't you worry. I'm not going anywhere.”