JAX (Breaking the Declan Brothers #1) (9 page)

I need to get out of here. I have to get a handle on what I’m feeling. And I can’t go through another rejection right now. I’m not sure if he’s fucking with me, but this not giving in to us, this shit needs to end. I don’t know what he’s holding out for, why he doesn’t just surrender and have sex with me. It’s destined. If we continue down this road, it’s going to happen; there’s no way around it.

I gently remove his arm from my body and slowly slide out of the bed. He rolls onto his back, his arms lift and his hands curl, then they relax and slumber back into the mattress above his head. I stare down at him. He’s mesmeric. When I look at him, he takes me to this place, a place deep inside where we only belong. And it scares me.

Pulling myself away from the Herculean all sprawled out on the bed, I grab my clothes, quickly dress and tiptoe out of the room. I pass by a door and glance inside. Zeke’s sleeping in a chair and next to him in the bed, someone’s under the blankets. All I see is the back of a head, and it looks like it could be Slate. That’s strange. I shake my head and continue to the door.

In no time, I’m walking through the door of Rayna’s sister’s. Rayna comes strolling out of the kitchen in a long t-shirt, hair in a messy updo with a mug in her hand, and a huge knowing smile on her face.

I drop into the sofa.

“Here,” she places the coffee down on the table in front of me. “I gotta feeling you need this more than I do. I’ll go get another, and when I get back,” she points a finger at me, “I want to hear all about it.”

I smirk at her, palm the mug in my hands. I lift it and take a much-needed sip as Rayna leaves the room. Shit. I forget she takes sugar in hers. I put it back down.

“So,” she capers back in and sits beside me on the sofa, “I take it you were with Jax.”

“Yeah.” I push the strands of hair hanging in my face behind my ear.

“And?”

“And we slept together, and when I say slept, that’s exactly what I mean.”

Her lips pucker, forehead wrinkles, and head tilts. “Like, no sex slept?”

I slowly nod my head. “He woke me up at four-thirty in the morning so he could,” I quote with my fingers, “sleep with me.”

“Huh,” she picks up her coffee and takes a sip. “That’s kinda,” she holds the mug close to her mouth, “sweet.”

“Right,” I say slouching back into the cushion. “I don’t get him. One day, he’s saying all these wicked naughty things to me in a dark room, and the next he’s holding me naked while we sleep.”

“Hold up,” her hand comes out as she nearly spits out her coffee. “You were naked in bed with him, and he didn’t touch you?”

“Yes.” I nod again. “Completely naked.”

“Damn, that boy’s got some discipline. I’m mean, how many guys do you know who would or could do that?”

“None.”

“Exactly.” Rayna looks at me. “I always wondered what he’d be like. Ya know, to see him in a relationship. He was the mature one, the responsible one. Even though he’s only two years older than Slate, he seemed to hold down the fort in the Declan home. Even when Grams was around, everything had to go through Jax. Don’t get me wrong, he was always nice, but I gotta say, he was a bit intimidating.”

“I think that’s what I liked about him…that quiet reserve. A lot of guys are so cocky, full of themselves and such jerks, but Jax, as hot as he was, he never threw it around.”

“Ya, I get what you’re saying. So what are you going to do?”

I stand up, Jax’s scent still clinging to me, and look down at Rayna. “I’m going to try to break him before he breaks me.”

Her brow rises. “Do you have feelings for him? I mean, aside from wanting to fuck him?”

“I don’t know.” I set my hands on my hips. “He’s so confusing. He makes me think he wants me, almost as if he’s always wanted me, but I know that can’t be true. If he would’ve just showed some interest all those years ago, I’m sure he knows that he could have had me.”

“Slate never mentioned anything to me, but then again, Jax did always look at you longer than a guy who’s
not
interested should.”

“No, he didn’t.”

“Ah, ya he did, always when you weren’t looking, but I kept it to myself. As I said, he scared me. And if I was wrong, well, I didn’t want Slate’s big brother angry with me. Besides, I didn’t want to give you any false hope. I knew you had a huge crush on him.”

“I did, but now I got a big girl crush on him. If he starts to show interest after all these years, I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do. This was supposed to be fun, breaking the Declan brothers. But Rayna,” I toss my hand out in there, “Jax Declan, he could be the first guy to break me.”

“Oh, Emmie.” She gets up and gives me a hug. “I’m sorry for making you come back here.”

 “Don’t be.” I pull back and smile at her, remembering what Jax said in the café. That maybe I’d thank Rayna too for bringing me back to him. Depending how all this turns out, he could be right. “I’m okay. I’m glad that we came back. I’m worried about you, though. Besides the other night, have you seen Slate at all?”

“No, and I’m not sure that I want to.” She drops back down onto the sofa.

“I get it, but I think deep down you know that you need to. You guys had something special, and no matter how it ended, you still had that.”

“He fights, Emmie. Fights! Can you see my Slate doing what Jax was doing the other night in that cage? And you heard what Melody said, Slate brings in the biggest crowd. So, he’s gotta be good. Right?”

“Jax says he’s changed.”

“What? How?”

“He didn’t say, just said he changed.” I lean forward and pick up my mug.

She stares at me. “That’s it.” She shakes her hands. “I don’t wanna see him.”

“Yes, you do.” I grin as I turn and head to the kitchen for a decent cup of java.

“Dammit!” I hear Rayna say a few times while I pour the coffee.

I enter the living room, and Lurlene comes slumbering in, hair all around her lightly freckled face. She’s rubbing her eyes and says between a yawn, “Mornin’.”

“Coffee’s on in the kitchen,” I say passing by her.

“Thanks.” She makes a beeline for it.

“So,” I settle back down next to Rayna, “what’s on the schedule for today?” I ask the party planner, trying to steer the conversation away from Slate. She’d never admit it, but I know it makes her upset.

“Well,” she looks at me from the corner of her eye, “I have an interview today, so I’m not sure what you ladies—”

“An interview!” Lurlene stops in the kitchen doorway, holding her coffee with her mouth dropped open. “I knew it,” she shakes her head as she comes into the room. “I remember you mentioning some job a couple months back in Santa Fe, but I didn’t put two and two together until just now. You wanted to come here for a damn job interview?”

“No. I wanted to spend the summer with my two best friends. And besides, they had filled that position. But when I was on the hunt last week, I noticed it was back up. I guess the person they hired didn’t work out.”

“What’s it for,” I ask. Rayna went to school to be a social worker, but her career has taken a few turns.

“Same as what I did when I worked for David, mediator for a divorce lawyer.”

“And what are you gonna do? Move back here?” She can’t leave me in Manhattan. She’s the only reason I’m there.

“No. Right now, all I’m going to do is go check it out. I loved working as a mediator, and there aren’t many jobs out there for it.”

“Well,” I turn to Lurlene, “what’s on your agenda for today?”

“Think I might finally give that Zeke Declan a call.” She grins.

“What?” Rayna and I say at the same time.

“I don’t know about you, ladies, but I’m on task. I’ve accomplished breaking Zeke Declan’s first rule already.”

“You broke the ‘
Don’t call me, I’ll call you
’ rule,” Rayna says. “You really have his number, and he’s waiting for
your
call?”

“Yes,” she picks up her mug, “that boy’s been waiting now for three days.”

“Holy shit,” I say, hearing my phone chime a text. I get up and check it. And those huge letters, JAX, on the screen weaken my knees. I click to open the text.

Meet me at JZS’s tonight. I get off around ten.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

I slide the draft beers across the bar, take the money, and spin around. I grab my cell from my pocket, toss the cash in the till, and check the time, nine-thirty. Shit, I hope Em shows. She never did respond to my text, and she was gone when I woke up this morning, both not good signs.

“Hey,” Rusty bumps me on the shoulder. “See who’s here,” she nudges to the left.

I slip my cell back in my pocket and look. Fuck. Lisa.

“It’s been awhile since she’s been in here,” Rusty says, sticking a few bills in the register.

“Motherfucker, I don’t need this shit tonight.” I run a hand through my hair.

Rusty’s eyes snap to me. “Please tell me you didn’t fuck that?”

A few months back during a dry spell, I met her at a bar in Galveston, and yep, I sure the hell did. I wished that I hadn’t, though. I like it rough, like kinky, like dirty, but that bitch, she’s just wrong. She wanted me to do things to her that made even me shrill. To top it off, after I fucked her, she got all clingy. And I’m usually a good judge when it comes to picking out the discreet ones, but that crazy chick sure had me fooled. It took me weeks to get rid of her.

“Jax,” Rusty smacks me on the arm, “you did.” ‘Cause I make it a point never to kiss and tell, I only offer Rusty a short grimace. “Shit! That’s why she kept coming around, and here I thought she was after Zeke. All right,” she pats me on the chest, “you go down to the basement and get a bottle of Jack Daniels. We’re all out. And I’ll try to get rid of her.”

Lisa’s my problem, not Rusty’s, but the clock's a-tickin’. I got a feeling that crazy bitch will cause nothing but problems when, or if, Em shows up.

“Thanks.” I kiss Rusty on the cheek and head toward the back. Rusty has sort of taken over Slate’s job at the bar. She covers if Zeke or I can’t be here. She’s the only one we trust. Granted, it took Zeke a year to accept that he wasn’t getting in her pants. He tried, even though he doesn’t have the right junk in his trunks. Like Zeke and I, Rusty’s into chicks. Once Zeke got it, they became friends, and now he has someone to check out the chicks with. I’m not into all that shit. If I’m into a girl, the only person who needs to know is that girl.

I make it to the basement, find the whiskey, and head back up the stairs. I come behind the bar, spot Lisa still sitting at the bar, her dark brown eyes burning into me. I glance at Rusty. She lifts her hands and mouths a “Sorry.”

I check my cell again. Fuck. I walk around the bar and stop in front of Lisa. “I told you, you’re not allowed in here.”

She spins around in the barstool to face me. Her fake jet-black hair swinging with her, she places a hand on my stomach. “You miss me, Jax.”

“No.” I grab her wrist and remove her hand from my body. “I don’t.” I take a step back and pull her off the stool. “It’s time for you to go.” I drag her toward the door. I’ve learned, it’s the way ya gotta treat her, to the point and downright cruel. But even then, I think the crazy bitch likes it.

Just as we make it to the front, she yanks her hand from me and backs up against the wall.

“Lisa, we talked about this,” I warn.

She reaches out and grabs my shirt, pulling me hard against her. I get a whiff of alcohol mixed with that nauseous perfume she wears. “You want me, Jax,” she licks her lips. “You know you do.”

I glare down at her, cursing myself for this bad fucking call. “It was a one-time thing. That’s it. I don’t fucking want you. I don’t want you here. And I don’t ever want to see you again. I explained this all before.”

Her hand slips around my neck. She tips up and kisses me. “What the fuck!” I push her away, wipe my mouth, and turn. Fuck! My eyes clash right into Em’s. My entire body goes numb.

Em smiles at me, flicks her brows, and then she surprises the shit out of me. She doesn’t turn around and bolt out the door. She heads for the bar. I watch her get up on a stool and order a drink from Rusty all while Lisa’s still pawing at me. I grab Lisa’s wrist and drag her out the door. We get outside, and I let her go. She stumbles back in her heels, looking injured.

“Leave, Lisa,” I point out to the parking lot. “And don’t ever come back. Do you hear me?”

“But Jax…” She takes a few steps toward me.

“I swear to God if you don’t get the fuck out of here right now.” I clench my fists. I’ve hit a girl before but never to cause bodily harm. Ever. But, fuck, she’s gotta see she’s pushing me.

“Okay.” She stomps a heel hard into the ground. “Fine! Fuck you.” She readjusts her purse onto her shoulder and fucking finally, she walks away.

I wait for her to get in her car and leave before I release my balled fists.

Now to deal with Em.

This was not how tonight was supposed to go. I planned on having a few drinks with my girl, teasing her a bit, and then taking her back to my place and making her mine, physically. For in all other matters, she already belongs to me. Emmie Rue has been mine since my eyes accepted her as a woman and not a little girl. Even then, besides the few years’ difference, I knew that I couldn’t take her. I had to work on my aggression, and she needed to understand that she wasn’t just a pretty face. She had a whole lot more to offer.