Jacob Wonderbar and the Cosmic Space Kapow (22 page)

“Hi!” the bird said. “What's your name?”

Jacob gasped. “I ... You can talk?!”

“Nice to meet you, Iyoucantalk! Bye!” The bird flew away.

Jacob turned to the king. “Why is space so weird?”

The king laughed a little. “I suppose space would seem strange to a child from Earth.”

Jacob realized how little he knew about space. Nothing made sense. Space officers had refused to arrest them for destroying a huge amount of the universe. The Numonians loved their crazy planet where the days were a minute long. The scientists were excited about a joke involving a calculator. He had been to a planet full of terrifying substitute teachers. If space was going to be his new home, he needed to start understanding. “Where did all of this come from?” Jacob asked

The king smiled. “A long time ago there was a scientist who was tired of the war and the unhappiness and the strife on Planet Earth. He thought there could be something better out there, something different. So he built a spaceship. He blasted off with some of his friends, and left the old world behind. He was a great, wonderful man who loved life and made a better place for us. He left the problems behind on Earth and tried his best to create a utopia.” The king waved his hand around. “We Astrals are his descendents, along with the people who have joined us in the years since then.”

Jacob saw some red birds chasing one another around a tree, darting around and spinning in circles, laughing in high, chipper voices. “The man in silver said he found our town by accident and that the universe is fine. But that's not true, is it?” He turned back to the king, but he had knelt to sniff some flowers.

The king stood up and looked at Jacob as if he had just remembered he was there. “Someone wanted you to take this trip, Jacob Wonderbar. You noticed the coincidences. The spacesuits waiting for you aboard your ship, the tour of the solar system, the fact that you happened to run into your teacher. There are bigger things than you out there in the universe, and you are very, very special.”

Jacob looked out at the puffy clouds in the distance. “My dad? Was it my dad?”

The king turned and kept walking. Jacob jogged a bit to catch up. “I'm concerned about the future. Astrals have developed strange ideas about Earth and they fear that Earth's problems will spread throughout the galaxies. Our societies have grown apart. Some think that Earth will bring war. I wanted to speak to a real Earther boy to see if I was still right about our mother planet's future. And who better than our substitute teachers' cleverest foe?”

Jacob's brow furrowed. “Do you mean ...”

“Yes. I sent the man in silver. I wanted to meet you, Jacob.”

The king stopped to examine a large bush cut in the shape of a giant bear. He plucked off a leaf and handed it to Jacob. It turned bright orange and dissolved in his hands. Jacob looked at the king to see if he was sending him a message, but the king still appeared lost in thought.

“There's a phrase in the Earth language French. It's called
joie de vivre
. Do you know what that means? It roughly translates to ‘the joy of living.' Do you see how much the people in space love life? They pursue what they love, they always have a great time. They have moved past so many of the problems of Earth. But sometimes they get so caught up in having fun and chasing after the things that interest them, they forget that there is a time for
joie de vivre
and there is a time for responsibility. Astrals are not perfect either.”

Jacob nodded. “That's why I'm staying here in space. Jaw-de-veeve.”

“You don't want to go back to Earth?”

Jacob shook his head.

But then he had a sudden image of his mom out of her mind with panic about him disappearing, and he couldn't bear to think of her living alone in the house. Even if being gone would have meant less stress and fewer visits to Mr. Bradley's office, he knew she would be lonely. And he would need to be there if Dexter had to visit his mom in the hospital, especially since hospitals contained a wide variety of items that could cause Dexter to pass out, including needles, blood, the smell of latex, tongue depressors, and hairnets. He held out a bit of hope that if he went home now, at least he could find a way to get back into space at some point and have more adventures.

“Maybe I can just visit Earth sometimes?”

“I can send you back to Earth,” the king said with a faint smile. “But it won't be on a spaceship. It would be a one-way trip.”

Jacob's heart sank. Every atom in his body wanted to stay in outer space, to go out and have more adventures and find new planets, and possibly find someone who had disappeared from his life. He looked at the ground. “Is my dad in space?”

The king rubbed his beard. “It's not for me to say, Jacob.”

Even with the possibility, however faint, that his dad might be out there somewhere in space, Jacob was beginning to accept what he had to do. He had to go back with his friends so they could be there for one another back on Earth. He had to give up on what he wanted so that he could do the right thing for them and for his mom, who put up with him all those times he was sent home from school. He suddenly realized that he never even apologized for making her miss her meeting.

“We should go home,” he said quietly.

The king grasped Jacob by the shoulders. “That's why you're the hero, Jacob Wonderbar. The universe has big plans for you.”

Jacob looked around at birds and butterflies, the huge stone fountains, the marble palace, the palm trees, and the turquoise lagoon. “Will I get to come back to space?”

The king's eyes crinkled. “If I need you, I will find you.”

The king stepped back and Jacob saw Sarah standing in the garden, looking a bit bashful as she waited for him. He watched the king as he walked away, and Sarah bounded over.

“What did he say?” she asked.

“He said that I'm the ...” Jacob trailed off. “He said we're going home. All of us.”

Sarah whooped and hugged Jacob tightly. He never seemed to remember how strong she was until she did something violent. “I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy,” she said into his chest.

Jacob tried to talk through her tight embrace. “I'm sorry I was so mean on the spaceship,” he said. “And thank you for rescuing me from the subs. It's just been ...”

“I'm sorry too,” she said, pulling back and looking him in the eyes. “Really. For chasing after the stupid diamond and not coming back for you right away. I'm always off doing other things. You're the most important person in the world to me, and ...” Sarah held her hands to her lips like she had said too much.

Jacob couldn't think of anything to say. He was so happy, he felt like he had taken leave of his body. She saw the look on his face and punched him hard on the shoulder.

“You're supposed to say something nice back, loser.”

“Sorry.”

“We'll work on that.”

Sarah's expression grew serious and she stopped and held up a finger. She took something out of her pocket and pressed it into Jacob's hand. It was the pipe. He felt the familiar smooth wood and the slightly rough pewter. He turned it over and looked at the inscription.

He felt so lucky to have Sarah, the type of friend who knew when something like a pipe needed to be saved rather than lost again out in the universe.

“Your dad misses you, Jake. I know he does.”

Jacob stared at it for a while. He finally said, “Thanks, Sarah.”

She smiled back and laughed. “Now let's go home.”

D
exter stared at the machine that was going to send them back to Earth. It looked like a scary elevator or a bank safe, with three metal sides and a thick door, but to Dexter it looked more like a medieval torture device. “Um. How does this work exactly?”

The attending scientist said, “We're going to beam all of the atoms in your body through a wormhole and include a code that will reassemble them in the exact order back on Earth.”

Dexter tried not to hyperventilate. “No way. Nuh-uh. That's what they did in
Charlie in the Chocolate Factory
and Mike Teavee got shrunk!”

Sarah sighed. “They're not going to shrink us, Dexter.”

“How do you know?”

The royal family had gathered around as Dexter, Sarah, and Jacob prepared to leave. Princess Catalina walked over and gave Jacob a long hug and three air kisses on his cheek. “Good-bye, my future husband. Stay handsome.”

Sarah gritted her teeth and hoped that Jacob Wonderbar wasn't getting any ideas. Princess Catalina broke the hug and walked slowly away, flipping her hair at Sarah. “If you get tired of Earth girls, come back and find me.”

Sarah thought about tearing the princess limb from limb, but she contented herself by remembering that she was going back to Earth with Jacob, and Catalina wasn't.

Catalina gave Dexter a long hug and said, “Your mom will be fine, okay?”

She walked over to Sarah, who stiffened as Princess Catalina air-kissed her. “Good-bye, darling. Let's work on that fashion, mmkay?”

“You work on your personality,” Sarah muttered. Princess Catalina laughed like she had just heard the best joke in the universe.

The king stepped over to Jacob and leaned down to speak to him. “Remember what I said, young Jacob. I see wonderful things in your future.”

Jacob looked over at Mick and thought he saw him stand a little taller, a sliver of disappointment crossing his face. But Jacob's chest filled with pride that the king of everything had such confidence in him. “Thank you, Your Majesty.”

The children waited for Mick to come and say his good-byes, but instead he just stood there impassively, refusing to move.

Sarah cleared her throat, but he just stared straight ahead with a sour expression. Sarah grew tired of waiting and she walked over and gave him a hug.

“Thanks for the adventures, Cracken.”

Mick smiled bashfully and said, “We'll get that diamond.”

Jacob decided to set aside his grievances and walked over to offer Mick a handshake. “For the record, I completely knew you were lying about the Dragon's Eye.”

“You're a worthy opponent,” Mick said, shaking his hand.

“If you happen to steal a spaceship, I wouldn't mind showing you around Earth,” Jacob said.

“Michaelus is done stealing spaceships for a while,” the king said.

Mick glared at his dad for a moment and then went back to staring at his shoes.

Jacob looked around at his friends. They nodded in agreement and stepped into the chamber. They were finally going home.

Sarah held Dexter's hand to give him extra bravery. They waved good-bye to the royal family. The scientist slowly closed the door.

“You won't feel a ...”

The children were standing at the edge of the forest on their block on the street where all the houses looked the same. The air was still slightly warm, and the orange moon was shining brightly. Fireflies were flickering all around.

Jacob reacted first, falling to the ground and pressing his face to the street.

“Asphalt ...” he sighed. “Earth asphaaaalt.”

“We're back home!” Sarah yelled.

Jacob stood up and joined them as they jumped up and down and hugged. They stopped and looked at one another, so happy and relieved that they had finally made it. Now that they were back, they noticed that Earth actually had a unique smell. Kind of like dirt, but a little sweet.

“New pact,” Jacob said, putting out his hand. “Space friends forever.”

Sarah and Dexter put their hands over Jacob's. “Space friends forever!”