Jacob Wonderbar and the Cosmic Space Kapow (21 page)

A
board Praiseworthy, the children caught their breath, red-faced and gasping and laughing about their escape from the subs. As Jacob looked around the room, first at Dexter and Sarah, then at a fancy girl whom he had never seen before, various events began flashing through his mind. His fight with Dexter. Seeing Sarah with the Dragon's Eye and realizing she left him behind on Numonia. Sarah leaving again with Mick. His mood darkened and he reached down and felt the pipe in his pocket, a reminder of his unfinished business in outer space.

Before he could start to confront anyone, the fancy girl looked at Jacob, laughed merrily, and said, “Sarah Daisy, you rascal! You didn't tell me that I was going to meet my future husband on this trip!”

“Don't call me Sarah Daisy,” Sarah said, glaring at Catalina. But rather than sounding tough, her voice was tentative. She looked at Jacob out of the corner of her eye.

The princess turned to Jacob with a winning smile. “I'm Princess Catalina. But you can call me your girlfriend.” Catalina proffered her hand to Jacob, who smiled with embarrassment but kissed it anyway.

“You're a princess?” he asked.

Dexter cleared his throat with what sounded like annoyance and possibly jealousy. “Excuse me, may I have a word? Wonderbar, I don't know if we're still friends or what, but we have to get back to Earth as soon as possible.”

Sarah stepped forward. “He's right, Jake. We have to—”

“We're in danger!” Praiseworthy shouted. “Jumping jellybeans, there is a ship in pursuit and it is very fast!”

The children scrambled into the cockpit.

“Where is it?” Dexter asked.

“There!” Jacob shouted. He spotted the ship on one of the monitors. It was a large spaceship shaped like a giant chalkboard eraser. It was bearing down on them quickly. He peered at the monitor.

“Monitor four, zoom in!” Jacob ordered.

The monitor refocused. He saw some determined subs in the cockpit. Jacob grabbed on to the captain's chair. They weren't giving up without a fight.

“Oh dear me,” Praiseworthy said. “You must tell me where I should set my course so I can perform the calculations and engage the rocket boosters!”

“We're going to Planet Royale!” Sarah shouted.

“No we're not!” Jacob yelled back. “Praiseworthy, if you head in that direction, I'm hitting the override. We're not going there.”

“Jake ...” Sarah said.

Jacob glared at her, and all of the feelings of the past couple of days came rushing back. “You got us into this mess by going along with that stupid pirate.”

Sarah held up her hands. “I'm sorry, Jake, I—”

“How could you have done that to me? Do you have any idea how terrible Numonia was? It smelled like burp breath!”

Dexter nodded. “He's right about that. It really did smell like burp breath.”

Jacob stared at Sarah with venom. “You ran off with that idiot pirate instead of taking care of your friends. Do you remember the pact? You're a liar.”

“I'm sorry. I really am. You're right. I was wrong. But we came back for you, Jake! And we have to go to Planet Royale.”

“Children!” Praiseworthy shouted. “Our enemies are about to—” A huge cloud of dust shot out of the giant eraser. It surrounded the cockpit, and Praiseworthy began coughing. “It's ... chalk dust ... It's jamming my systems!”

“Stop this instant,” a man said over the intercom. “This is the principal speaking. If you turn over Jacob
Voonderbar
you children may be on your way.”

“Jake, hurry!” Sarah cried. “We have to go to Planet Royale!”

Jacob steeled his nerves and remembered his dad. “No. I'm not going back to Earth.”

“Wonderbar ...” Dexter said.

“I'm not going!”

“Why not?” Sarah cried.

Jacob took out the pipe. “Look at this. I found this in an antique shop on Planet Paisley. It's my dad's. It says ‘Wonderbar' on it. My dad's out here somewhere in space, and I'm going to find him!”

Dexter and Sarah looked at each other like Jacob had lost his mind. “A pipe?” Sarah asked. “Jake, there's no time for this!”

“I saw Miss Banks!” Jacob said. “She was on Planet Paisley too. She was wearing jeans! If she's out there, maybe my dad is too.”

“Miss Banks?” Dexter said. “Really?”

“Jake,” Sarah said, “you can't go wandering around the universe because you found a pipe. Or Miss Banks. That's crazy!”

“It's not crazy,” Jacob said.

“Yes, it is!” Sarah glanced at the monitor, and the eraser was growing bigger and bigger.

Jacob gave her a cold stare. “You probably think I won't be able to find my dad. You probably think he just left me behind on purpose because I'm such a bad kid.”

“I don't think that at all!” A little fire came back into her voice. “Look, I apologized to you, I meant it. You're not perfect either, you know. Who was the one who broke the universe? Not me!”

“Children,” Praiseworthy said, “we have less than a minute before your enemies will be in range. We could be captured!”

The intercom buzzed. “We'd hate to use the ruler,” an elderly woman said. “Just give us
Voonderbar
and we'll return to our crossword puzzles.”

“Come on, Wonderbar!” Dexter pleaded.

“But I know he's out there,” Jacob said, a little desperately. “And he's trying to find me. He's been trying to find me all this time. He just hasn't been able to get back home. I know it.”

“Jake ...” Sarah began.

“What?” he yelled.

Sarah took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. She wasn't going to fight. She would be calm and reasonable. Friends told each other the truth even when it was difficult to hear. She said as gently as she could, “Jake, your dad's not lost in space. He moved to Milwaukee. You know that's what happened.”

“But how can you explain this?” He held up the pipe, less certain than before and starting to wonder if he was being ridiculous.

“A pipe?” Sarah asked.

Dexter put his hand on Jacob's shoulder, but he pulled away quickly. “Look. We all feel bad about your dad. We really do. And you might even be right about him looking for you.”

“I
might
be right?” Jacob said a little hysterically.

The children held on to their seats as Praiseworthy began swooping and swerving in evasive maneuvers. “There's no time for this,” Dexter said.

“Tell him, Dexter.”

Jacob paused. “Tell me what?”

Dexter didn't say anything. He was still staring at the monitors.

“Tell me what?!”

He turned back to Jacob and took a deep breath. “I found out that my mom is in the hospital. It looked really bad. Cat's dad is the king of everything, and he can help us get home. Think about your mom and how scared she must be. We have to go home, Jacob. Right now.”

Jacob pursed his lips together and rubbed his eyes.

There was suddenly movement on the eraser. A piece of the ship unfolded and a giant mechanical hand rose out of the top. It was clutching a massive ruler, and it looked as if it was ready to strike Praiseworthy.

“Children! They're going to be in range in moments! This has become a terribly urgent situation!”

Sarah stiffened her spine. They weren't going to be captured by a giant eraser or smashed by a large ruler on her watch.

“Praiseworthy, please set your course for Planet Royale,” Sarah said firmly. “We need to talk to the king. He'll get us back to Earth.”

“Master Wonderbar?” Praiseworthy asked.

Jacob stared at the floor. “Fine,” he said.

Praiseworthy sighed with happiness and space blurred around the ship as he instantly fired his boosters. The eraser and its ruler faded into the distance.

Dexter exhaled in relief. “Oh, thank goodness.”

It wasn't fair. Jacob had to travel billions of miles to have the smallest chance of finding his dad, and he felt even that slim possibility slipping away. He didn't understand why his dad couldn't come find him on Earth, even just to visit once in a while to see how he was doing or take him to a baseball game. He wanted things to be like they used to be, with his father waiting for him when he came home from school and making sure he always had an exciting birthday. He never even called or e-mailed. Jacob's face crumpled, and he threw the pipe across the room. It smashed against the wall and fell to the floor.

“My dad's worthless.”

Sarah and Dexter stared at the floor, not sure how to react.

Finally, Sarah tried to catch Jacob's eye. “I'm sorry, Jake. At least we're safe now.”

Jacob didn't say anything.

Princess Catalina looked around at the three friends, her hands clasped tightly. “Um. Wow. Does anyone want some chocolate?”

J
acob Wonderbar sank his teeth into the best beef jerky he had ever tasted in his life.

“Wow. Sven, you weren't kidding, this is really good.”

Sven exhaled in relief. “Thank you, Mr. Wonderbar, thank you so much for saying that. I was really hoping you would like it, because our chef was worried that the smoker had not infused the perfect amount of flavor. He almost threw out the entire batch in a fit of despair and threatened to resign from his post before we convinced him to serve it. He was hysterical. I'll convey your compliments, and I know he will be extremely relieved.”

Sven bowed and left. Jacob reclined in a wildly comfortable chaise longue on a balcony overlooking a beautiful lagoon surrounded by green trees. The pink marble walls of the palace rose up behind him, radiating the perfect amount of warmth. Jacob had to hand it to the king: He sure had a nice planet.

But Jacob wouldn't be staying long. He peeked around to see if anyone was watching, ran to the edge of the balcony, and then swung himself over the ledge. He began climbing down the ivy growing along the palace wall.

He had done his part. He had gotten Sarah and Dexter to Planet Royale and they could talk to the king and find their way home. But Jacob had no intention of going back to Earth. He would go and find Praiseworthy and hop on board and fly around space as long as he wanted, seeing new planets and stars and never going to school. Every now and then he'd visit Sarah and Dexter and his mom back on Earth, but space would be his new home. He would be an explorer or an adventurer or maybe even a better and more famous space pirate than Mick Cracken. Earth could wait.

He let go of the vine and dropped down to the ground. He slunk along the topiaries shaped like animals. He crouched behind a large boulder, ready to run.

“I thought you might try to escape,” a familiar voice said from the shadows. Mick Cracken stepped directly into Jacob's path. He was dressed in sharp black pants and a long black shirt. His hair was even combed.

“Ugh. You?” Jacob whispered. “What are you doing here?”

Mick's pained expression let in a hint of a grin. “Sarah didn't fill you in?”

“Fill me in on what? What are you trying to steal now?”

Mick waved his hand. “My dad owns the place.”

“Owns this? But the king owns this.”

“Uh-huh.”

“But that means ... That means you're the ...” Jacob couldn't bring himself to say the word, and he felt his stomach twisting in knots. The idea of Mick wearing a crown and being addressed as “Your Eminence” or whatever they called princes in outer space was bad enough, but then it dawned on Jacob that if Mick was the prince, then someday he might be the king. Of the universe. “I think I'm going to be sick.”

“Trust me, I don't like it any more than you do.”

Jacob didn't have any time for Mick, even if he was the future king of everything. “Get out of the way. I'm leaving. I hope you trip over your crown or something.”

Mick didn't move. “My dad wants to talk to you.”

Jacob frowned. “Me?” He had no idea what he and the king could possibly talk about—or how the king even knew he existed.

“I think you should talk to him,” Mick said.

Jacob looked carefully at Mick. The last time he had obeyed one of Mick's suggestions, he had ended up marooned on Numonia. “Is this another one of your traps?”

Mick's eyes glinted. “What the king wants, the king gets.”

Jacob couldn't disagree with that logic.

T
hey reached the grand throne room, and Jacob saw where the king presided over everything. It was a huge gold chair in the center of the room, gilded with gems and lit from within, radiating bright light throughout the room. The throne was surrounded by brilliant old tapestries that depicted comets and stars throughout the universe. But the chair was empty.

“Where is he?” Jacob asked.

“Right here,” a voice said.

Jacob turned around and looked up at a very tall man with a hearty white beard, with kind eyes and a wrinkled face. He was a bit on the portly side, and he wore a long white robe with a bright gold cloth stole.

“Hello, Jacob.” He spoke with a faint accent. “My name is King Alan Jones Dean Crackenarium. Would you please take a walk with me?”

He stepped out into the king's private gardens, which were impeccably trimmed and featured some of the most beautiful flowers he had ever seen. The hedges were perfectly green, and gray gravel crunched underneath his shoes. Brilliantly colored butterflies flew around and a large orange bird landed on Jacob's shoulder.