Jacob Two-Two on the High Seas (4 page)

“But Jacob didn’t imagine it,” Cindy said. “I was there too.”

“Child, it is rude to be so insistent,” said Mrs. Snootcastle. “No doubt it is the influence of that boy.”

“Why don’t we ask Mr. Scrounger?” suggested Captain Sparkletooth.

Mr. Scrounger was making sure that the underpaid waiters did not slip any food into their pockets. He came over and saluted.

“Yes, Captain?”

“Could you tell us what Jacob Two-Two and Cindy did this afternoon?”

“Most certainly. We all played a game. Jacob Two-Two called it Engine Room. We pretended that sugar cubes were pieces of coal. It was jolly good fun.”

Jacob saw that Morgenbesser was right. Mr. Scrounger had chosen Jacob and Cindy because he knew that the grown-ups wouldn’t believe them. He gave up trying to tell the truth.

CHAPTER 7

hat night, Jacob slept on a ship for the first time. He had a lower berth, which was a kind of bunk that folded out from the wall, with Noah above him and Daniel across from him. The only glow was moonlight coming in from the cabin’s oval window. His older brothers had been reading, but soon the gentle rocking of the ship had put them to sleep.

But Jacob was still awake. He thought about his new friends, Cindy and Morgenbesser, and how glad he was to have met them. He worried about what Mr. Scrounger might be up to. Worrying about Mr. Scrounger wasn’t the same as worrying about tying
his shoes so that the laces didn’t always come undone, nor was it like worrying about buttoning his shirt properly. It was a bigger worry than that. But what
was
Mr. Scrounger up to?

Jacob tried to put himself to sleep by counting by twos. “Two … four … six,” he whispered. But it didn’t help. Then he heard something.

A knock. There it was again, on the door of their cabin. He crept out of bed and over to the door and whispered, “Who is it? Who is it?”

“It’s Cindy. I need to talk to you.”

Jacob opened the door. There she was, in her pajamas too. “Come with me,” she said. Jacob closed the door gently behind him. He and Cindy crept down the hall and stopped in front of her cabin door. “I heard a strange fluttering noise. Then I heard a squawking noise,” said Cindy.

“What was it? What was it?” asked Jacob, becoming even more worried.

“I don’t know, but I think we should find out. It went somewhere down the hall. Let’s follow it.”

“But I’m not supposed to wander around the ship at night. I’m not supposed to,” Jacob said.

Cindy looked at him impatiently. “Fine. Wait for
me in my room. I’ll come back and report what I find.”

“But isn’t your mother in there?”

“She’s sound asleep. Don’t worry, go in. I’ll be back in a minute.”

Cindy opened her door and pushed Jacob inside. The room was dark. Mrs. Snootcastle must have pulled the curtain across the window. After a moment, he could see the little sink, table, the berths, and the mound that was Mrs. Snootcastle, under her blanket. Mrs. Snootcastle was snoring. It sounded like somebody sawing through a drainpipe. Suddenly, Mrs. Snootcastle coughed, snorted, and turned over.

“Cindy? Ah … Cindy?” she muttered.

What was he to do? Jacob tried to make his voice sound like Cindy’s. “I’m here, Mother,” he said.

Mrs. Snootcastle snorted again, as if she were not really awake. “Did you … did you remember to kiss the garbage and take your father out to the curb?” she asked.

“Yes, Mother.”

“Good… .” Mrs. Snootcastle’s voice faded away, and she started to snore again.

A moment later, the door opened and Cindy pulled Jacob back into the hallway. “Your mother
almost woke up. She almost woke up,” Jacob said.

But Cindy ignored him. “I found it! I found what the fluttering was!” she said.

“What was it? What was it?” Jacob asked.

“It’s down at the end of the hall. Want to come and see it?”

Of course Jacob did. He and Cindy took off down the hall. As they turned around the corner, he saw something on the deck, something green and yellow. It was a bird. Not just a bird, but a parrot! The bird turned its head to look at them, stretched out its wings, and said in a squawking voice, “
I’m in love with a vacuum cleaner! I’m in love with a vacuum cleaner!
”

Jacob and Cindy looked at each other and giggled. The parrot could talk, and it said things twice, just like Jacob Two-Two. Jacob crouched down and in a gentle voice, said, “Come here, little parrot, I won’t hurt you. I won’t hurt you.”

“
Mashed potatoes on your head! Mashed potatoes on your head!
” squawked the parrot. Jacob and Cindy giggled again, but just then, one of the cabin doors opened and out came Mr. Scrounger. He wasn’t dressed in his uniform, instead he wore a nightgown, with a floppy nightcap on his head.

“So there you are, you pesky bird,” Mr. Scrounger said.

“Is he your parrot?” asked Cindy.

“Yes, he is. I’ve been teaching him to talk. But he won’t say the things I want him to say, the things that parrots are supposed to say, like ‘Polly want a cracker’ and ‘Pieces of eight.’ It’s very disappointing, especially since I don’t even like birds. Now come on, bird, get back in here.”

“
Kiss my feathered butt! Kiss my feathered butt!
” said the parrot.

“Why, you …” muttered Mr. Scrounger. He lunged for the bird, but it fluttered up into the air, and Mr. Scrounger landed facedown on the deck. Then the bird flew through the open cabin door. Mr. Scrounger got up, straightening his nightgown and cap. “There will be no crackers for you,” he said, as he walked into his cabin and slammed the door behind him. Jacob and Cindy said good night and went back to their own cabins. It wasn’t long before Jacob was fast asleep.

CHAPTER 8

irst thing in the morning, Jacob and Cindy ran down to the engine room to see Morgenbesser. He had just cooked himself two eggs by putting a pan on top of the engine. They told him about finding the parrot and how Mr. Scrounger appeared and took it into his room.

“How very strange,” said Morgenbesser, rubbing his head with his enormous hand. “Why would Mr. Scrounger have a bird when he doesn’t like pets? It’s very peculiar. I’m glad you’ve told me. Keep your eyes open for anything else unusual.”

Jacob and Cindy told him they would and hurried
back up the stairs. As they went to join their parents for breakfast, Jacob thought about how nice it would be to have a parrot as a pet. But then, he thought it would be nice to have almost any animal as a pet. He’d never had one.

After breakfast, Mr. Scrounger called the children to the deck once more. “Today I’ve got some real fun lined up for you kids,” he said. “First we’re going to play pinball.”

“I love pinball!” said Daniel.

“Then we’re going to watch three Godzilla movies.”

“Those are the best,” said Marfa.

“Do we get to play pinball too?” said Jacob. “Do we?”

“And watch movies?” said Cindy.

“Oh no, pinball is much too hard for children your size. And Godzilla movies are too scary. I have a special treat for the two of you. As for you older children, off you go to the games room. And you two can come with me.”

Jacob Two-Two looked at Cindy, who just shrugged. After all, their parents didn’t believe them. There was nothing they could do but go with Mr. Scrounger. He took them along the deck to a metal door. “Are you ready?” he said excitedly. “One, two, three –
ta-da!
”

Mr. Scrounger opened the metal door. It was a closet. In the closet were buckets and mops.

“What are these for?” Cindy asked.

“The two of you get to continue to act like real sailors. You’re going to swab the deck!”

“What does that mean? What does that mean?” asked Jacob, who had never heard of such a thing.

“You fill the pails with soapy water and use the mops to clean the floor. The decks need to shine like glass. Now here’s a bucket and a mop for each of you. We’ll just fill the buckets with soap and water at the sink here. Now you’re all set to have yourselves a swell time.”

Jacob thought that swabbing the deck did look like fun, at least sort of. And it was fun for a while, as he and Cindy plopped their mops into the buckets and swished them along the deck. But then Jacob’s arms began to get sore. Not long after that, his back began to hurt. A little while later, he got cramps in his hands. But he and Cindy kept at it, moving along the deck.

Some of the adults were sitting in deck chairs reading books or magazines. Without looking, they lifted their feet so that Jacob could swab underneath
them. All except one, who said, “Ahoy, matey, you almost scrubbed my shoes.” It was Jacob’s father.

“Dad, Dad!” Jacob cried. “Mr. Scrounger is making us swab the deck!”

“Just like real sailors, eh? You’re pretty lucky kids. You enjoy yourselves now.” Jacob’s father closed his eyes.

Jacob considered how to convince his father that swabbing the deck wasn’t much fun after an hour or two, but then his father began to snore. So he stuck his mop back in the pail and kept swabbing.

Finally, he and Cindy reached the end of the deck. Looking back, they could see the deck sparkling in the sunlight. “I see you’ve finished here,” said Mr. Scrounger, who seemed to pop up from nowhere. “You’ve done an excellent job. Now all you have to do is swab the lower deck.”