It's Only Temporary (21 page)

Eyes still streaming I was effectively blind as well as handcuffed; they led me to what I assumed was a police car waiting outside. Another voice then seemed to be in the back of the car with me; he was much calmer and advised me that he was going to wash my eyes with water. Once done he asked if I was ‘Ok?’

‘No, of course not! I go to the aid of a friend and end up being blinded for my trouble!’

Gradually my vision was coming back and I could make out his outline, he said ‘Well we will sort this out down at the station.’ The station? Why on earth would I want catch a train? Then I realised he meant the police station, good God, I was being arrested!

By the time we reached the police station I could see fairly well and was brooding on the indignity of it all. Someone was going to pay for this outrage that was for sure. I was taken into an area where a large gruff sergeant was standing behind an elevated counter. He asked me for my details then turned to the two officers who had entered the flat.

‘Arrested for?’

‘Suspicion of burglary and going equipped.’

‘I was not! I….’

‘Will be shutting up now!’ the sergeant finished for me. ‘If you know what is best, am I going to have trouble with you pal?’

‘No,’ I said feeling thoroughly humiliated.

‘Good.’

‘Belt?’ he asked.

‘Pardon?’

‘Do you have a belt?’

Looking down at my shorts I said ‘Obviously not.’

‘Don’t try and be smart! I have to ask everyone the same questions.’

‘Watch?’

‘Watch what?’

‘Do you have a watch?’

‘I don’t know my hands are fastened behind my back,’ I said truthfully.

‘That’s your last warning Sonny.’

Sonny? How would he feel if I called him Granddad I wondered? I elected not to find out. One of the officers had a quick look and shook his head.

‘Shoe laces?’

I looked down at my bare  feet, ‘No.’

‘Wallet, phone, anything like that?’

‘No.’

I was “processed” which meant having my photo taken by a friendly young man who advised me that he could not “force” me to give a DNA swab but “they could”, indicating the two arresting officers. Having been nearly blinded for simply pointing at a bag I elected to give my consent. Then I was seen by a doctor who confidently proclaimed that ‘You will live’, I was more worried about my eyesight than my survival.

After this I was placed in a cell and left for a few hours, I was appalled to see that the stainless steel toilet not only had no lid but was in full few of the security camera. I was being treated like a common criminal.

Gradually I became aware of two things, it was getting lighter, although I was not sure if this was my eyes recovering or not and that I was hungry, very hungry in fact. Periodically the small eyehole flap would open and close again but then at one point a small hatch slid back, a voice asked ‘Breakfast?’

I had no idea how this worked and asked the most logical question I could, ‘Is it free?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Ok, yes please.’ A plastic tray slid through the door with a couple of mouthfuls of what I assumed was meant to be scrambled egg and a slice of toast. Was that it? As I looked down at it I asked ‘Can I have two?’ The flap slammed shut.

A short while later I was removed from my cell and taken to an interview room where my two arresting officers and a man in a suit, who it turned out was my appointed legal counsel, were waiting for me. ‘So Marcus,’ the older one said. ‘How are your eyes?’

His matter of fact friendly tone resulted in a sense of indignation in me, ‘Sore and I’m going to sue you,’ I told him.

‘I see, for what exactly?’

‘Assault, grievous harm, whatever my legal team feel appropriate.’ I said inclining my head to my lawyer who made no overt reaction at all.

‘Ok, well I had best advise you that you were at the time being arrested and you failed to comply with a direct instruction, so technically I was acting in self-defence.’

‘Self Defence? I was pointing at a bag!’

‘But you heard me tell you to put your hands behind you head and keep them there didn’t you?’

‘Yes, but…’

‘So simply put you have admitted to failing to follow the instructions of the arresting officer, namely me, which of course will be corroborated by the eye witness present.’

‘Witness?’

‘Me,’ the other one said.

‘Well that……sucks,’ was the only word I could muster
, an expression I had heard Alfie say but was not clear to its exact meaning. However I was aware that it implied negative connotations which seemed apt at that time.

‘Now then,’ the pepper sprayer continued. ‘You understand why you were arrested?’

‘No.’

‘Well,
I and my colleague responded to the alarm signal. When we arrived we found you equipped with a bag of tools which also contained an expensive picture frame. Anything you would like to let us know?’

‘Oh yes! I was trying to
let you know
at the time but was interrupted by your attempt to blind me. I live in the flat below, the alarm woke me up and I went to investigate. I stubbed my toe on the bag in the dark so picked it up to move it, that’s when you two arrived.’

There was a knock at the door and he left for a moment to speak to someone, I looked at my lawyer to see if he had any suggestions but I was not sure if her was awake or not. The officer returned and sat down.

‘Yes,’ he said.

Yes? What does that mean?

‘Yes what?’

‘Yes it’s time for a break.’

I was led back to my cell and feeling quite demoralised plonked myself down on the bench that doubled as a bed. A few minutes later I was returned to the room which was exactly how I had left it other than the fact that my lawyer had now been replaced by a cup of tea. A potentially fair trade I thought to myself.

‘So Marcus, I’d like to go through some photos with you if that’s ok?’

‘Do I have a choice?’

They looked at each other, ‘Are you declining to help?’ the second one said.

‘No,’ I sighed.

We proceeded to review a large stack of photos in order to attempt to ascertain if I was in any of them.

‘Is that you?’

‘No.’

‘This one?’

‘No, I don’t have a beard.’

‘You could have shaved it off?’

‘Or a tattoo on my face.’

‘This one?’

‘Is a woman.’

‘How about this one?’

‘He is about ten, I am thirty four.’

‘This one?’

‘Is a gold fish!’ They apologised for that one.

Eventually we decided that I was not in fact in any of the photos they had shown me.

‘Ok, Marcus. Thanks, you are free to go.’

I was not expecting that ‘Is that it? Do I have to come back?’

‘Er no, the owner of the flat was slightly inebriated and set off his own alarm. Once roused he identified the bag as belonging to a plumber he has employed, the photo is the plumbers as well. It seems he takes it everywhere to show his customers, it is of his grandchildren. He is very proud apparently.’

‘So that’s it?’

‘Err yep. Thanks for your time.’

Chapter 19.

In what seemed like a matter of moments I was once again at the front desk, by now it was eight o’clock in the morning, I was in my shorts and t -shirt bare feet and a fairly long way from home.

‘Anything to be retrieved?’ the replacement desk sergeant asked my
now ever so attentive guides, she was altogether more pleasant than the one who had been there upon my arrival.

‘No Iris, as he is,’ pepper spray responded. ‘Well Marcus, thanks for your help, take care.’

Take care? The brazenness of this guy was astounding, I considered giving him a piece of my mind, ‘You too,’ I said to his back as he walked away.

‘So love, how you getting home?’ Iris asked me.

‘Err walking I guess?’

She looked down at my feet sceptically, and then checked something on the screen in f
ront of her. ‘Eight miles, in bare feet in you’re under wear on a Saturday morning? You’d get picked up and brought back as a suspected nut case before you got there! Is there no one you can call to come and get you?’

The only name I could give was Stacy’s, Iris narrowed her eyes at me for a moment and then made the call. I could only hear one side of the conversation.

‘Hello, is that Stacy?’

‘Hi, are you by any chance the Stacy from Silverdale day centre?’

Now my eyes narrowed, Iris was aware of Stacy and the centre I was not sure if this was a good thing or a bad. Neither, more embarrassing as it turned out.

‘Hi ya luv! This is Iris, Dan’s Mum.’

This revelation took me by surprise, then I realised that it was almost certain that as a result Dan would know of my escapade and thus the rest of the centre. The thought of which caused me to feel cold, how on earth could I face everyone after this? I then realised that surely Iris was confined by a confidentiality clause.

‘Listen I am calling from the police station.’

‘No, no it’s not Dan, I work here! Does the name Marcus mean anything to you?’

‘Oh nothing, it was a case of mistaken identity. But the poor lamb is standing here bare foot in his underwear.’

She held the receiver away from her ear and I could hear Stacy’s laughter, after a moment she listened again.

‘What? Oh going equipped for a burglary. They didn’t seem to consider he was a bit underdressed for the part!’ more raucous laughter followed. So no confidentiality issues then it seemed, Iris was not done yet though. ‘Bless him I think he is hungry, he amused the custody suite guys by asking if breakfast was free and then if he could have two!’ At this point Iris herself was laughing, was nothing sacred?

Finally she managed to ask ‘Can you come and get him luv? Ok, I’ll ask him.’ Looking at me she said, ‘Stacy will come on one condition.’

‘
What’s that?’

‘You have to do whatever she says this weekend.’

Oh for crying out loud, blackmail? ‘Oh whatever,’ I said

‘Deal,’ she said back into the phone. ‘That’s great, oh by the way he looks a bit like a Panda!’

A Panda?

I sat in the police station reception and managed to sneak a peak of myself in a window reflection, I had huge red circles around my eyes, Panda was a fairly accurate analogy.  Stacy arrived and pulled up outside, as I walked to towards Dolly I could hear her start laughing all over again. This continued as we started driving, eventually she calmed down enough to say ‘Look come to my house, you can crash on the sofa with some frozen peas on your eyes, at least that way I know your safe.’

I did not fancy spending the day at Stacy’s house in my under wear so insisted we stop off and collect my clothes, I briefly considered calling on Alfie but decided I did not have the physical or emotional strength for It.

Back at Stacy’s house I asked where Max was, ‘Play date with hi
s friend until tomorrow,’ she told me. ‘That means tonight you are mine!’

‘I don’t follow.’

‘You agreed to do whatever I said remember?’

‘Yessss?’ I said worried now.

‘We are going out tonight.’

‘Where?’

‘Get some rest, I will tell you later.’

Too tired and emotionally bruised to argue I agreed. She told me she was off out shopping and maybe to get her hair done so I would be left in peace for a few hours. She made me some breakfast and then left, once she was gone I hit the shower, I was anticipating the pleasant change of a warm shower but the water seemed to react with my eyes again and I found myself sitting on the toilet weeping. I was not sure if it was my eyes watering from the irritation of that I was crying from the pain.

Taking deep breath I deliberately washed my eyes out under the shower and eventually the pain started to subside. Feeling exhausted I flopped onto the sofa and fell asleep.