It's Always Been You (12 page)

The silence in the battalion conference room was thick and awkward. The kind of awkward that came from being the only female and the only non-combat veteran in a room full of combat veterans and from being the person to tell them they had another soldier in jail.

The new command teams sat around the table. It was a toss-up who looked more uncomfortable: the commanders or the first sergeants. Legal meetings were painful for all parties involved.

“Teague, how many soldiers are you sending to trial defense tomorrow?” Gilliad asked.

Olivia glanced over at Ben, doing her best to keep a neutral expression. It was hard, so damn hard when the memory of his kiss still tingled on her lips.

Ben met her gaze briefly, then looked down at his notes. “Five, sir.”

“Which ones?”

Ben rattled off the names and his battalion commander flipped his glasses to the top of his head. Gilliad read over paperwork silently.

“Where’s Zittoro’s packet?” He tapped the sheet with the tip of his pen. “It’s on the list that you received it on Monday.”

Ben glanced up at her quickly. Just a glance but it was filled with questions. Damn it, she hadn’t updated the slides.

Ben opened his mouth to speak. “Sir, Zittoro—”

Olivia cut him off. “Sir, Zittoro’s packet had errors on it. I found them this morning and didn’t have time to update the slides before the meeting.”

Gilliad nodded but Major Denis leaned forward, his shoulders bunched, his expression hostile. “Next time, make sure you all have accurate statuses before you brief the battalion commander,” he said with a pointed look at Olivia.

She ran her tongue over her teeth. She didn’t answer to Major Denis but she opted not to pick the fight just then.

Not here and not now. But there was nothing she could say because he had her on the slides not being updated. She knew he was looking for an opening, any opening, to skewer her in front of the battalion commander and she wasn’t going to give him one.

She said nothing, daring him to push for an acknowledgment. Everyone stood and saluted sharply when the battalion commander left, then started filtering out of the room when he’d gone. Ben said something to his first sergeant but Olivia didn’t stick around to chat.

She slipped out of the conference room and down the hall to her office at the back of the adjutant’s area. It was private and she had her own space where she could secure the more sensitive files.

She had less than an hour to clear up everything for the day before she had to head out to Stable Call. She had no idea what to expect at this event. She glanced at her new Stetson. At least she’d have an excuse to wear it.

A quiet knock on her door broke her stride. She turned from where she’d been putting files in a drawer.

Ben stood in the doorway.

* * *

“Hey,” she said quietly.

The memory of that kiss made him crave another taste of her. He’d thought she was fire and passion and so damned determined before. Now he knew that quiet energy she directed toward work was merely a hint of the passion concealed beneath that cool exterior.

It was a passion he wanted to feel beneath his fingertips. That he wanted to slide against.

“Hey.” He swallowed, about to cross a line from professional to… something else.

And damned if he wasn’t afraid to cross that line. That kiss earlier was nothing compared to what she’d just given him.

She’d lied for him today. Ben had been about to make something up that would get his battalion commander off his back and Olivia had stepped in with a smooth story that had deflected Gilliad’s attention with no one the wiser.

She’d agreed not to tell the boss. He hadn’t expected her to all-out lie for him. And now that she had? He didn’t quite know how to broach the subject with her. Not at all.

She straightened and leaned against her desk. The broken scale tray swayed as she bumped it with her hip. He grasped at it for a distraction from his racing thoughts. “You know one of these is broken?”

She nodded. “It’s supposed to be.”

He studied her quietly. “What like broken justice?”

“Exactly.”

Ben paused, studying the soft bun at the nape of her neck. Her skin was exposed. Her neck was long and lean. He had the sudden image in his head of dragging his tongue down that tender flesh. Would she gasp? Would she tip her head and grant him access to more of her secret places?

He cleared his throat roughly. “You lied for me today.”

She stilled, guilt flashing over her face. “Yeah, about that…”

“Thank you,” he said quickly.

She lifted one brow. “For lying?”

“For giving me the benefit of the doubt. That doesn’t happen very often,” he said quietly.

“Really? But you’re such a charmer.”

Ben shifted until he stood a little too close. Until he could see her eyes darken the way they had in the car when he’d given in to the temptation to kiss her. “Are you teasing me? Because if you are, I think I need to make a note on my calendar that yes, you do officially have a sense of humor.”

A smile crossed her lips. It took everything he had not to slide his thumb over that soft skin. He wanted to see her lips close over the tip. To feel her warm mouth encircle him and… Jesus, he still had to go back to work.

“I do have a sense of humor. I just don’t get to break it out very often because the only thing I see at work is the seedy underbelly of the army. There’s not much humor in what I do.”

“Maybe you need to relax a little more.” Ben shifted until he could nudge the door shut behind him. He didn’t want anyone to see. Didn’t want to give anyone a hint of something that was private and intimate and deeply compelling. Were they flirting? This felt like flirting. And with this woman, he had absolutely no basis to say either way what this really was.

“I don’t know what this ‘relax’ is that you speak of,” she said.

He felt a long-forgotten twinge deep in his belly. It was something so foreign, he’d forgotten it was something he was capable of. In all his casual encounters, he’d forgotten what real attraction felt like.

He swallowed the dryness in his mouth. He didn’t know what to do with this realization that Olivia Hale was someone he wanted to… someone he wanted. It was one thing to flirt with someone at a bar, to take them home for a few hours of mindless sex.

This? This was something entirely different.

Something more than wanting a few hours of sheets sliding over skin, of warm bodies slipping together. This was something darker. Something warmer.

Something infinitely more valuable.

“Maybe I’ll ply you with alcohol tonight at Stable Call. We’ll see if we can’t get you to unwind a little bit.” His voice was low, grating on his ears.

“Good luck with that. I only drink socially. There will be no drunken pictures of me immortalized on the Internet.” She stepped toward him then, closing the last distance between them. She reached up and slid her hand over his cheek. Ben went very still as her palm slid over his skin. Her palm was cool against his face. Gentle. It took everything he had to let her slip out of reach again.

He captured her palm before she could slip away. Held it there against his cheek. “Thank you,” he whispered. “For Zittoro.”

Her lips parted. He could feel the slight huff of breath on his skin. “Thank you for trusting me with the truth.” She slipped her fingers from his, her eyes sparkling. “Just don’t make me come after you for that packet.”

Ben caught her hand before he thought about it. His hand closed over hers, her index finger captured in a gentle loop between his thumb and forefinger.

He had the sudden wild idea to put her finger to his lips. He pressed it gently to his mouth. Felt the pad of her finger on his bottom lip. A single bolt of electricity snapped over his skin.

A simple touch. Nothing more.

They were at work. It was the single stupidest thing he could have done.

He released her quickly, before anyone could see. Before he could do something stupid like pull her close and kiss her again. The want inside him was powerful. Raw and needy.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

A pink flush crept up her cheeks. Her bottom lip parted from her top and a tiny gap appeared. A tiny gap he wanted to slide his thumb into to feel her tongue run along the pad.

He needed to get the hell out of there. What the hell was wrong with him? Nothing said “sexy” like sexual harassment at the office.

“I have officially lost my fucking mind,” he said, reaching for the doorknob and angling his body toward the narrow hall. “I’m going to leave now before I do something else really dumb.”

Ben felt awkward. Tense. He didn’t know what had possessed him to do that. Hell, they weren’t even on friendly terms and he’d gone and done something… something he would have done with a date. Something he would have done to a woman he’d been flirting with.

At least he was when they weren’t sniping at each other over legal packets.

That was the only thing that could describe the moment of pure insanity that had him pressing his lips to her finger.

Ben took a step into the hallway, unable to break the silence, hardly able to move. Olivia followed him and paused in her doorway, a breath of a distance between their bodies.

Time froze, silent and heavy between them.

Her lips parted, her tongue darting over her bottom lip.

“I’ll see you tonight, Ben,” she said quietly.

Ben handed each of his lieutenants a beer and took careful note of how many each of them had had to drink. Ben was the last person to nag at someone about how much they drank but then again, he was a commander now.

It was implied that he act like a damned grown-up and that meant buying his officers
a
drink, not multiple drinks. Every one of them would be driving away from here in an hour or two and they damn sure better be sober before they did.

Jesus, he was responsible for how they turned out. What a terrifying thought. Sergeant majors all over the army would be tearing up trucker hats in no time. He grinned over the edge of his beer and listened to what they were saying.

“Sir, Captain Marshall didn’t like us pissing on his leg about things we could solve at our level,” Gillis said.

Ben took a deep pull off his beer at that comment. It was exactly what he’d been afraid of. “Okay, so let’s clear up a couple of things. First, I’m not Marshall. If you have questions, come ask me. I’m not going to rip your face off for asking me a question. I am, however, going to get pissed that you’ve got guys in the motor pool at seventeen hundred on a Friday night when you’re off drinking a beer, though. So whatever problem you thought you were going to solve, you’re going to have to wait until Monday.”

“But sir—”

“No ‘but sir,’ LT. Next time, you’ll come get some guidance first. Your platoon sergeants thought this was a good idea?” Ben looked between his two platoon leaders and his executive officer.

“Sir,” Vitiliano finally found his voice. Either that or his balls had just dropped and he was finally able to talk. “Captain Marshall told us to tell our platoon sergeants what to do. We outrank them; we’re supposed to be in charge.”

Ben choked on the sip of beer he’d just taken. He covered his mouth with his fist and barely avoided spewing the remains all over his lieutenants. “Okay. We’ve got much bigger problems than I realized. Check it out, LT. Brace yourself, I’m about to break your little heart.” He took a pull off his beer to ease the sensation of nearly choking to death. “Yes, you outrank your platoon sergeant. But nowhere on the good Lord’s green earth are we going to let you run off and take all that vast knowledge you acquired in officer basic course or ROTC and actually start running things. This is not to say that you’re incapable of doing it but there’s a lot to be said for experience. The only one in the half of your relationship who has that experience is your platoon sergeant.”

Ben took a deep breath. He could not wait to tell Sorren about this zinger. He’d have to wait until Sorren took a drink of his own beer. “Listen. You and your platoon sergeant are a marriage. And you don’t get a vote over your life partner here. Which means you two need to start attacking problems together. There is no other way. Get me?”

The lieutenants glanced at each other like he’d just imparted some vast unknowable wisdom to them. Ben shook his head. “Seriously? You guys thought you were running things?”

Vitiliano spoke again. “Sir, it’s just the way it was. Officers run shit, according to Marshall.”

“Okay, so new rule: the next time you start to do something Marshall told you to do, punch yourself.”

“Sir?” This from Gillis, who looked like he might take Ben’s advice far too seriously.

“It’s a joke.” Ben sighed. Obviously his lieutenants had had their senses of humor corrupted while working for that shitbird Marshall. “Look, just—if you catch yourself doing something the way Marshall wanted, I want you to step back and question why you’re doing it. And then go find your platoon sergeant and ask him what the best way to attack the problem is.” He pointed at Gillis. “Right now, you need to send your people home. You can figure out what’s going on with your platoon sergeant over the weekend.”

“Roger, sir.” Gillis pulled out his phone and stepped away from the noise.

Ben listened as Redding and Vitiliano talked about something one of the soldiers had done earlier that week involving a box of grid squares and keys to the drop zone. He scanned the bar, looking for one particular face.

And stopped when he saw her in a corner, talking to Reza. Iaconelli met his gaze, then lifted a glass in mock salute. That was water, right? Had to be. Reza was serious about getting sober this time and Ben had faith in him. He had something to live for, something other than the war and the constant deployments.

With Emily standing with him, Reza was going to pull this off.

But Ben was curious now as to just what Olivia was doing with Reza. He couldn’t see her face beneath the rim of her Stetson but the shadows caressed the back of her neck beneath her bun. A single tendril of hair escaped, resting beneath her ear.

The Stetson looked good on her. Too good. Added bonus that he’d get a chance to tease Olivia about it. Oh yes, his lieutenants were about to get a reprieve.

Because he just couldn’t stay away from Olivia Hale.

* * *

Legends was far too small to have this many people crowded into it. Olivia was fairly certain that every inch of floor space was now filled with dusty boots, and some people were wearing actual spurs.

She couldn’t get used to the feel of the Stetson on her head. The strap pressed tight against her bun, which in turn tightened the band against her forehead.

But everyone else was wearing their headgear inside so she figured she needed to keep hers on. When in Rome and all that.

She enjoyed watching the room. Seeing the new lieutenant in the signal section laugh a little too loud. Or seeing the ops officer, Captain Loehr, stand a little too close to his significant other Captain Montoya. Olivia was going to have to make an effort to get to know Claire. She’d heard so much about her from the soldiers.

But right then, she wasn’t in the mood to go crowd surfing. It had been a long week and she was comfortable, standing off to one side, talking to Reza. He was a known good quantity, a person she trusted simply by virtue of being Emily’s other half. And the fact that he was talking to her and keeping her from standing alone in a corner of a room full of virtual strangers spoke volumes about the man himself.

She glanced at his glass, then flushed when he caught her looking at it.

“Fun new side effect of being sober,” he said quietly. “I’m always hydrated.”

Olivia smiled, wishing some of the heat in her cheeks would cool. “I wasn’t going to say anything.”

He offered a lopsided shrug, taking a sip. “I know that but you were thinking it. Everyone who knows thinks it. I figure I can argue and be pissed about it or acknowledge it and move on. I’m choosing course of action b.”

“Greetings, shitbag,” said a familiar voice.

Olivia turned to see Ben weaving around a fat major and entering their small space.

Reza lifted his glass in greeting. “Nice to see you, too. I take it you haven’t managed to get relieved your first week on the job?”

Olivia raised both eyebrows and Ben shot Reza a dirty look before he turned to Olivia to explain. “I may have considered trying to get fired when I first took command,” Ben admitted.

“Oh, really?”

Ben took a deep breath and Olivia tried not to notice the rise and fall of his chest. Heat unfurled in her belly, stretching like a cat after a long sleep. She found herself wondering about the glimpse of the tattoo she’d seen. How far up his arm did it go?

“I’ve been avoiding command for a long time,” Ben said. “For a lot of reasons.”

“You seem to be doing okay so far.” The memory of his mouth against hers teased her. Made her want to stand a little too close. Want a little too much. His lips were far too soft for a man.

Reza laughed quietly, distracting her from the distinct detour her thoughts had taken. “I threatened to whip his ass if he got himself fired.”

“On purpose,” Ben clarified, holding up one finger. His lips curled into an easy grin. She’d never seen Ben this relaxed. Maybe it was because she’d only seen him since he’d taken command and command took so much out of everyone. This new side of him was intriguing and deeply, deeply sexy. “It only counts if I do it on purpose.”

They were an odd little group. A senior NCO talking with a captain and a major. Most of the smaller clusters of people were wearing the same ranks. The lieutenants ran with the lieutenants, the majors with the majors. But Olivia was comfortable.

She looked up at Ben. Her fingers tingled at the memory of his mouth on her. A little too comfortable.

God, but her body ached.

“So Major Hale was just asking about your history with Foster and Escoberra and the gang,” Reza said. “I told her Escoberra saved your sorry ass when you’d gone and gotten yourself blown up.”

Ben looked down into his beer. “Yeah, Escoberra saved my ass in that fiasco,” he said quietly. He took a sip from his beer but Olivia didn’t miss the tightening of the muscles in his neck at Reza’s comment. He looked down at the bottle in his hand, rubbing his thumb absently along the lip. “And how did we repay him? By damn near ruining his career over that attack,” Ben said. His words were packed with bitterness, his eyes filled with an old, painful memory.

“Someone put Escoberra’s awards citation in the legal folder,” Olivia said. Relief pulsed through her, giving her the opening she’d hoped for to ask about the award. “I was curious because your name was on it. Unless there’s some other Ben Teague running around.”

Ben smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes and it took everything she had not to reach for him, to squeeze his hand in sympathy. To let him know he wasn’t alone. “Nope, I’m the one and only as far as I know.” He looked at his beer. “This tastes like watered down piss,” he muttered.

Reza laughed. “Because you know what watered down piss tastes like?”

“No, but I suppose you would.”

Reza held up his glass. “Finely brewed H2O.”

Ben smirked. “Good. I’d hate to have to tell Emily you weren’t behaving. And Sergeant Major would likely have your balls if you get in any more trouble.”

Reza sniffed. “I’m not getting in any more trouble. I can’t if I want to go on this next deployment.”

Olivia frowned slightly. “You’re volunteering to go?” Unspoken was the question of whether Emily knew or not. It wasn’t her place to ask but she wanted to. Oh, but she wanted to.

“It’s not that I’m volunteering,” Reza said. “I’m just making sure I’m in the eligible pool of soldiers they can take.” He took another sip of his water. “But yes, to answer your question, I would volunteer. Emily understands that,” he said softly.

Olivia felt the emptiness on her right shoulder. These men both had multiple deployments under their belts and they would willingly go back. She had no deployment—not a real one anyway—and fear of the unknown was a powerful thing.

“I’m glad she supports you,” Ben said softly. Olivia watched the unspoken bond between the two men. “You’re lucky.”

There was something there, beneath his flippant words. An echo of a memory. An old hurt. She looked up at his words and found him watching her, his dark eyes intense and shadowed even for the dim light inside the bar. And in his eyes, the shadows she’d heard in his voice.

“She’s too good for me,” Reza said. His throat moved as he swallowed roughly. “And I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to be good enough for her.”

Ben pulled his gaze away and sniffed, swiping a finger beneath his eyes. “That’s so romantic.”

“Fuck you, Teague.” Reza tipped two fingers to the brim of his Stetson. “On that note, I’m out of here. I’ve been seen. My mandatory fun is over.”

Ben shifted to give Reza room to maneuver through the crowd.

Olivia watched him go, keenly aware of the man standing beside her. Standing too close, so that she could smell the lingering scent of his skin. It was a powerful lure, urging her to stand closer. She wanted to bury her face in his neck and inhale, breathing him in.

He shifted after a moment, leaning close enough that the edge of his Stetson bumped hers. His voice whispered over her ear, sending a chill down her spine. God, but this man was doing something to her, something that made her hungry and needy and achingly aroused.

“I hear you were asking about me?”

* * *

Ben watched a hundred emotions flicker across her face at his question. He stood too close on purpose. He couldn’t span the distance completely, not where they were, but he didn’t need to. Just watching her eyes darken, her lips part. The woman was on fire and she had no idea what her response was doing to his insides.

It did something funny inside his chest to find out she’d been asking about him.

“Don’t get excited. It was purely professional,” she said dryly. Her voice was thick. On edge.

He leaned down, closer to her ear. The temptation to nibble on that soft exposed skin beneath her ear was too much. Instead, he blew a quick breath over her skin. Saw, rather than felt her shiver. “Oh, you’re talking dirty now?”

This was foreplay without touching, the forbidden fantasy of not getting caught that added power to their erotic dance.

She looked at him as if he’d gone crazy, her eyes crackling with dark, sexual energy. Maybe he had. That was the only reason to explain why he was standing here flirting with the sexy lawyer. But he felt something around her, something he hadn’t felt in a long, long time. Maybe never.

There was more to this woman than just passion for the job.

And he wanted to curl around her, embracing her spark for life, for energy. Just one touch of something real.

“There’s something wrong with you,” she said. But there was laughter, deep and sensual, in her voice.

There was something deeply sexy about the way she leaned against the wall, her mouth relaxed, her shoulders easy.

It was like she’d finally found her bearings. Like she was finally starting to find her place.

“What did you want to know about the award?” he asked. He had to lean close to be able to hear her. It was tempting to be that close to her neck and not be able to nibble on the spot just below her ear.

“I was curious about your relationship with Escoberra. You have so much loyalty to him.”