Isobel and Emile (8 page)

Nicolas waits for him to say more. Emile looks into his drink.

Nicolas says: ‘Come on. Say something, Emile.'

Emile picks up his glass. He takes a drink. He puts the glass down again.

He shrugs.

He says: ‘I do not know what to say.'

Emile picks up his glass. There is ice in it. He taps the side of the glass. The ice settles. It makes a sound when it does.

Emile taps the glass again. The ice does not settle. There is no sound. He wanted there to be a sound. He is slumped at the bar. There are not many people in the bar. They are in small groups. They drink. They talk to each other. It is a quiet night.

Emile wanted something to happen at the theatre. He does not know what.

There is a jukebox in the bar. It is playing a song. Emile drinks from his glass. He puts the glass down on the bar. He looks into the glass.

Nicolas does not say anything. He stands with his elbows resting on the bar. He waits.

Emile says: ‘I think it was good.' He says: ‘I think that they liked it.'

The song that is playing on the jukebox is a nice song. It is a song that Emile and Nicolas like. Emile does not say anything more. Nicolas does not say anything.

They listen to the song.

Emile finishes his drink. Nicolas makes him another gin and tonic. The song finishes playing. Another song starts. It is not as nice as the other song.

Nicolas takes some coins out of his apron. He gives them to Emile. He says: ‘Go do something about the music.'

Emile stands up. He walks over to the jukebox. He has the coins from Nicolas in his hand. He puts them into the jukebox. He picks some songs to play.

He goes back to the bar.

There is someone talking to Nicolas. He is drunk. His words are slurred. He is trying to explain something. It is hard to understand what he is saying. Nicolas looks over to Emile. Nicolas shrugs. He is the bartender. There are things he has to do.

Emile nods his head. He sits down at the bar. His glass is in front of him. There is a drop of water forming on the side of his glass. He picks the glass up. He drinks.

The song that was playing on the jukebox stops playing. It is over. Another song starts to play.

Nicolas listens to the man try to explain something. It has something to do with his business. Emile takes a drink from his glass.

It is late at night. There are still not many people in the bar. Some of the tables are empty. Two of the waitresses are standing at the end of the bar. They are talking to each other.

Emile puts his glass down on the bar. He looks at it.

The man talking to Nicolas finishes trying to explain something. He stands up.He says good night to Nicolas. Then he says good night to anyone else who might hear him say good night. He reaches for his jacket. It is lying on one of the stools at the bar. He puts his jacket on.

It is time for the bar to close.

Emile stands up. He puts his jacket and his cap on. He goes outside.

He stands in the street outside the bar. He takes some tobacco out of his pocket. He makes a cigarette. He does not light it.

He waits for Nicolas.

There are people who were inside the bar standing outside the bar. They are waiting for streetcars and taxi cabs to come. Some of them are getting ready to walk. The man who was trying to explain something is still trying to explain something. He is trying to explain it to someone else now.

No one looks at Emile. No one ever looks at Emile. He is standing away from everyone else. His collar is turned up. It is getting cold at night. He looks in the window. He watches what is happening inside the bar.

The people who work in the bar do the things that they do when the bar closes. Emile watches someone mop the floor. Someone else is in the kitchen washing glasses. When they are done Nicolas comes out of the bar.He is wearing his fancy scarf.

Emile lights his cigarette. He passes it to Nicolas.

Nicolas smokes some of the cigarette. He passes it back to Emile. He says: ‘Shall we go?'

Emile nods his head.

They walk to the end of the street. They stop. They wait for a streetcar. They pass the cigarette back and forth between them.

Nicolas has the cigarette. He draws on it. He looks at Emile.

He says: ‘There's something bothering you.'

Emile shrugs his shoulders. Nicolas passes the cigarette to him. Emile takes the cigarette. He draws on it.

Emile says: ‘I do not know what I am going to do.'

Nicolas punches him in the shoulder. He does it playfully. He says: ‘You'll think of something.'

The streetcar comes.

They get on the streetcar. They go home.

6

Isobel is not asleep.

She is lying in her bed. There is a blanket over her. It is the middle of the night. She is looking up at the ceiling.

Light is coming in through the window. There is a light in the alley. It is coming in through the window. Isobel can see it on the ceiling.

She watches the light on the ceiling. She is not asleep. She wants to be asleep but she is not asleep. She tried to go to sleep. Now she is watching the light on the ceiling.

There is nothing else to do.

She sits up.

She holds the blanket to her body. It is cold in the room. It cannot be helped. It is cold outside.

She pulls her hands through her hair. She wants to sleep. It does not matter that she will have nightmares. She is tired. She needs to sleep. She does not understand why she is not sleeping.

She stands up.

She is naked. Goosebumps rise on her skin. She shivers. She is thin. She gets cold easily. She walks to the middle of the room.

When she walks she looks clumsy. She is too tall. Her body is too long.

She is standing in the middle of the room. The light is over her head. She pulls on the cord hanging from the light. The light turns on.

She pulls her hands through her hair. Her hair is long and thick and almost black. When she is naked it looks like she has too much hair. It looks too heavy hanging from her head.

Her dress is on the floor by the bed. She walks over to where her dress is. She bends down. She picks it up. She puts it on the bed. She looks at her dress lying on her bed.

It is dirty. The collar is ripped. It is coming off the dress. She scowls. She is tired of wearing this dress. She puts it on.

She raises her dress over her head and lets it fall onto her body. It is supposed to be a nice dress. It has frills at the collar. It shows her collarbones. It is not warm. There are still goose-bumps on her skin.

She walks to the door. Her shoes are beside the door. She puts her shoes on. She opens the door. She pulls her hands through her hair again. She ties her hair back.

She leaves the room.

She is standing in the street. She is in front of the grocery store. It is not dark. The street lights are on. It would be dark if the street lights were not on. It is the middle of the night.

Isobel is standing in the street.

She wants to go somewhere. She is standing in the street in the middle of the night. She does not know where she can go. She knows where she can go during the day but she does not know where to go at night. She has never been allowed to stay out this late before.

She wraps her arms around her body. It is cold. She does not know if there is anywhere to go.

She wants there to be somewhere to go.

She stands in front of the grocery store. She looks up and down the street. Both directions look the same in the dark. She walks down the street. It does not matter which way she goes. She does not know what the difference would be.

She walks down the street. She looks for a place where the lights are still on. The street lights are on. The buildings she walks past do not have their lights on. They are dark. Her arms are wrapped around her body. She is cold.

She walks from one street light to the next street light.

There is a pub still open. It is on a street off the main street. Isobel sees the light coming from inside the pub. It is late. The pub will close soon. The people left in the pub are sitting in front of their drinks.

They are drinking. They do not speak. They do not want to speak. They are drinking.

Isobel walks down the street the pub is on. She stops in front of the pub. The lights inside are still on. She looks into the pub. She sees the people inside the pub. She sees them drinking.

She stands in front of the pub. She does not go into the pub. She looks into the pub but she does not go into it.

She wants to go into the pub.

She has never been in a pub before. She does not know if she should.

The people inside wrap their hands around their drinks. They lift their drinks to their mouths and then they put their drinks down. They do not let go of their drinks. They are hunched over and they keep their hands wrapped around their drinks. It is like they are afraid their drinks will be taken away from them.

Some of them are smoking cigarettes. They hold their cigarettes in one hand and they hold their drinks in their other hand.

They drink with one hand and they smoke with the other hand.

They do not look at each other. They do not want to. They are drinking. Their eyes do not leave their drinks.

Isobel stands outside the pub. She is under a street light. She looks into the pub. Someone gets up to leave. He goes towards the door and then he stands in the door. He looks at Isobel.

He looks at her dress. It is not a warm dress. The front is cut low. He can see her breasts.

The man standing in the doorway smiles. It is an ugly smile.

Isobel looks at him. She does not smile. She crosses her arms in front of her. She scowls.

The man shrugs his shoulders. He steadies himself in the doorway. He steadies himself and then he walks away from the bar.

Isobel watches him walk away from the bar. He is wearing a shabby old jacket. There is a rip in one of the shoulders. There is stuffing coming out of it. His hands are in the pockets of his jacket. It is cold. He walks with his shoulders bent over.

Isobel is not wearing a jacket. Her legs are bare. She does not go into the pub. She watches the man walk away from the pub.

She watches until the man turns a corner.

The pub is closing.

The rest of the men are walking away from the pub. They are wearing jackets. Their jackets are also shabby and old. Their hands are stuffed into the pockets. It is cold. They walk with their shoulders bent over.

They mutter to each other. Their voices are not loud enough to carry. They mutter and they walk from the light of one street light to the light of the next street light. Some of them do not mutter. They are alone. They walk from one street light to the next street light.

Isobel is still standing outside the pub. They walk past her. They look at her when they walk past her. They look at her for too long. They do not smile. They are going to their homes. They are going to go to sleep.

They have to get up in the morning. They need to go to sleep.

Isobel watches the owner of the pub come to the door. She watches him lock it. She watches him move around inside the pub. He is cleaning up. When he is done he turns out the lights.

Isobel walks away from the pub.

She walks slowly. She is not going anywhere. She does not have to walk quickly.

She walks from the light of one street light to the light of another street light. The pub is closed. The only lights left are the street lights.

Isobel is shivering. It is cold. She squeezes her hands under her arms. It does not make her hands warm.

She stops walking. She feels useless. She scowls. She turns around. She walks back to the grocery store.

She goes to the alley behind the grocery store. She has the key to the door that goes into the back of the grocery store. It is in her pocket. She sits down on the steps going up to the door.

She does not want to go inside. She sits on the steps behind the grocery store.

She takes out a pack of cigarettes. She takes a cigarette out. She puts it between her lips. There is a book of matches tucked into the pack of cigarettes. She lights the cigarette.

She draws on it. She blows smoke out of her mouth. There is a light on in the alley. It is over the door going into the back of the grocery store.

Isobel is sitting on the steps behind the grocery store. It is cold out. It is colder than it is inside the grocery store. Isobel does not want to be in the grocery store.

She sits on the steps. Her arms are wrapped around her body. She smokes her cigarette.

She does not want to be here.

She saw her mother today. Her mother came into the grocery store. Isobel was pushing the cart in one of the aisles in the grocery store. Her mother was in the aisle. Her mother saw her pushing a cart in an aisle in the grocery store.

Her mother was carrying a basket. There were things in her mother's basket.

Her mother said: ‘Isobel.'

Her mother brought her hand up to her mouth. She was surprised. Isobel stopped pushing the cart. She stood behind it. She looked at her mother.

Her mother reached out to touch Isobel. She put her hand on Isobel's face.

She said: ‘Isobel. Come home.'

Isobel did not say anything. She turned around. Her mother said: ‘Please come home.' Isobel walked away from her mother. She went to the room at the back of the grocery store. Her mother said: ‘Isobel.'

Isobel was in the room at the back of the grocery store. There were tears on her face. She did not want there to be tears on her face. She heard her mother say: ‘Isobel!' She said it loudly. Mr. Koch heard her.

Mr. Koch came out of his office. He saw Isobel. He saw tears on Isobel's face. He went into the front of the grocery store. He stood in front of Isobel's mother. They said things to each other.

Isobel did not want to hear the things that they said to each other. She heard the things that they said to each other.

There were tears on her face. She could not stop them.

She has already said the last thing she wants to say to her mother. She said: ‘I want to spend the night with him.' She said: ‘You cannot stop me. I'm going.'