Irons (Norfolk #1) (18 page)

I pushed my chair back and stood, “Thanks, but I think growing up like he did, he needs to know that isn’t what you get when you’re in a relationship. You don’t let someone you love go hide and over think things. You talk it out.”

I pushed my chair in and walked to the bathroom.

I opened the door and he was sitting on the edge of the garden tub with his head in his hands and elbows on his knees. I shut the door behind me and he looked up.

“They told me to give you a few minutes.”

“Obviously, you didn’t.”

“Nope and Jax, I am hungry, sore and nervous about what is going on, too.” I started to kneel in front of him and winced.

“Don’t do that.” He took my hand and stood up.

“Don’t hide. That’s not what we do. That’s not what you have to do anymore.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

I lifted my arms and linked my hands behind his head, “I love you. You put your trust in me like I have you. Tell me what really made you get upset out there.”

He rested his hands cautiously on my hips. “This isn’t a thing for me, Frankie. It’s not a joke to me. If you want this and are willing to go through the shit you’ve gone through because of me already—”

“We don’t know if I was jumped because of your family political affiliations Jax.”

“You’ll never be alone again. You won’t even walk to classes alone, do you understand me?”

“You don’t—”

“Yes I do. Fuck, Frankie, I am being real damn selfish here. If I’m right, then I am the biggest asshole in the world for not walking away and leaving you in peace. But I can’t. Then I think if I did, I’d still worry about you. So, selfishly, I won’t. I want you.”

“I want you, too.”

“We need to have a long talk after we get a good night’s sleep. You need to know exactly what you’re getting into.”

“Are you trying to scare me Jaxson? If so, it won’t work.”

He bowed down, resting his forehead against mine, and took a deep breath through his nose. “I don’t want you to be afraid of a damn thing, Frankie. I want you to be happy. To continue loving and teaching me how you want me to give it back to you.”

“You are doing perfect.”

“I’ll do better.”

We stood looking into each other’s eyes for a moment and my stomach rumbled again.

“Can we finish dinner and go back to bed?”

He kissed my nose and then my head. “Sounds good.”

*     *     *

I lay on
my back and he on his side. He reached over and grabbed my ear buds and handed me one and kept the other. I thumbed through my playlist and yes, I had one that was all things Jax. Stupid, childish, call it what you will, but I knew he wouldn’t think it was.

I don’t wanna love somebody else by Great Big World played and his blue eyes blazed into mine, then cast down to my lip. He leaned down cautiously and rubbed his across mine, careful not to press too hard. It wasn’t enough and I knew he wouldn’t press for more, for the deeper kiss I desired. His touch had been careful, caring and thoughtful since he came back to me.

I pulled him closer and his tongue traced the part of my lip that had pained me the most and it no longer hurt. Nothing hurt. With Jax here, everything was as I knew it should be.

Jax

I
convinced her
to take some Motrin after dinner and insisted she go to bed. I held her until she drifted off as we listened to music together. It calmed her and it made me insanely aware that these feelings were real. People wrote songs about feelings. None even came close to being as deep as mine but still, they skimmed the surface.

We spent the entire night holding and kissing each other. I swear I have never kissed anyone as much as I did her tonight. It was not even sexual. I knew it wasn’t going to lead anywhere. It couldn’t and I didn’t want it too. I wanted to make her feel safe and to let her feel what I felt through touch and sound. I wanted her to know there was no place I would rather be, no one I would rather be with, and that it didn’t scare me one bit. I watched as she fought to stay awake. When her eyes closed for a few seconds, she would force them open and purse her lips, seeking more. I gave her anything she asked for. I wanted to give her that always but last night’s revelations loomed over my head. Reality was paused by touch but returned with any distance.

Her eyes hadn’t opened for ten minutes. I knew, because I watched her take in every slow steady breath. I watched as she drifted deeper and deeper into a peaceful sleep as I thought about how much Will loved his sister. How much he loved his family. How much I wanted Will, the closest thing to family in a form which I wasn’t accustomed to, yet was accepted as part of, to know I would do everything in my power to keep her safe.

I closed my own eyes and thought about what it was that I would bring into her life. I thought about what I had learned last night. About Mimi’s suspicions, about Sandra’s death, about Frankie’s attack, and yes, about a little girl who could have been part of me. A little girl who had parents who were said to adore her and who I knew that, if I tried to see, I may be putting her in harm’s way.

I looked back down at Frankie and kissed her again. Her soft purr and the way she nuzzled into my touch was something I knew I would never be able to get enough of.

I heard the door crack and looked up and Shadows gave a nod. I slowly backed away from her warmth, and put the pillow that was under my head next to her and laid her hand on it so that she still felt like I was with her.

I walked out and the guys were by the door and her roommates were on the couch, watching TV.

“I’m going to grab my bag from my car. Please lock the door behind me, I will be back. I’m staying here tonight.”

Mary got up and walked behind me. Shadows gave her a wink and she smiled.

“See you around?” he smiled.

“Yeah,” she smiled at the ground.

We walked out and Titan opened his truck door. “Thanks, man.”

“Not a problem.” I waited till he was in and pulled away before looking at Shadows.

“You have something to tell me?”

“I have no fucking clue what I should and shouldn’t, Shadows. So I’m choosing to keep it to myself until I figure some things out.”

“You don’t think it was a random mugging or just some punks that jumped her.”

I shook my head no. “Not sure yet.”

“I’m here, you know that.”

I nodded and looked towards her place.

“Come on, let’s get your bag so you can get back in there.”

I looked both ways and saw a black car parked just up the road from where we were standing. Frankie’s description, black car no plates, flashed though my head.

I started running towards the car full force.

“Irons!” Shadows yelled behind me.

The car started and quickly reversed and then the driver, who was unrecognizable in the dark of night, cranked the wheel and peeled out down the road.

“Irons!” Shadows screamed as I kept running, trying to catch them.

I ran until the taillights were nearly invisible, then slowed down and tried to catch my breath.

Shadows was beside me panting, “What the hell are you doing!”

I turned and started to jog back towards Frankie’s, when I felt his hand on my shoulder, “You better start talking man.”

“No, I can’t—”

“You sure as hell can. And you better start doing it now.”

“I won’t, Shadows, I won’t drag you or anyone else into this shit.”

We slowed down and began walking fast. He stayed quiet for a few minutes. “You think that was the car Little Will—”

“Her name is Frankie.” I turned and grabbed his shirt collar, “Not Will! You understand me!”

“You hear yourself, Irons?” He shoved my hands away. “You see what you’re doing? She’s in trouble, she is Will’s fucking sister and you aren’t the only one who loved him, Irons. So if she’s into some shit, we help too. The three of us! You fucking understand?”

I walked away, trying to keep myself from beating the shit out of him. He loved Will, hell, he and Titan had even been to Will’s family’s place with us. All of us agreed they were some of the best people we had ever met.

I stopped and turned to him, “I get it, but she is mine.”

“No shit, Irons. That girl has been yours before she was legal, we all knew it, you’re the only one who didn’t. Hell, Titan and I fucked with Will about how his kid sister and you were gonna be banging as soon as she was—”

“What did he say?”

“Will?”

“Yes, Will! What the hell did he say?”

“He laughed, man. Said if it happened he knew you’d do the right thing by her. We were brothers, man—”

“He knew how I was, I don’t believe you—”

“We, the three of us still are, and we know you Irons, just like Will did. You just needed someone to see what we do. She does.”

“She deserves better.”

“I don’t believe that shit and neither do you.”

“I come with a baggage. A ruthless family Shadows. Will’s death broke her down so much, imagine what people like me could do to her.”

“No, you got it wrong.”

“How the fuck can I protect her—”

“You have us too. You, me, and Titan.”

We made it to my car. I unlocked it, grabbed my overnight bag and then walked across the road then up to her place.

When we got closer, I noticed a box in front of the door.

I ran up and kicked it as hard as I could away so it rolled down the stairs and then I banged on the door.

When Mary cracked it, open she looked horrified.

“Thank God,” she closed it and unchained the lock.

“Shadows, go in—”

“No, I go with you.”

“No! You stay with her.”

I ran towards the box and opened it cautiously; inside was a rope with a slipknot tied in it. A warning.

“Irons!”

I turned and saw Shadows walking towards me. I grabbed the box and walked to the stairs.

Where the fuck are you going?”

“You wanna help, Shadows? Stay in that god damned apartment and let me deal with this! I need a fucking minute.”

*     *     *

After putting the
box in my car, I dialed mother. There was no answer so I left a message for her to call me.

I walked in the apartment where just Mary and Shadows were awake. Renee and Frankie slept through the whole damn thing.

“Thanks, Shadows, I got it from here.”

“What was in the box? Who was the man who knocked on the door? Why don’t you just call the cops, you know she won’t. What the hell is going on!” Marry burst into tears and Shadows gave me a look that told me I better tread lightly.

“Mary, I can take care of this—”

“She could have been killed! Now we have people—”

“Mary, I promise I will take care of this.” I tried to remain calm.

“Really? Until when? Until you get pissed at her again! Until she climbs back inside herself where no one can reach her again! You don’t know what she has been through for three years, hell I don’t even know but she sure as hell looked happier today than she has in the three years I have known her, which is fucked up on so many—”

“I said I have this. End of conversation.” I snapped.

“Irons, don’t.” Shadows warned.

“I’m calling the police. You people—”

“The fuck you are.”

“Irons, go gets some fucking sleep. I’ll deal with this,” Shadows growled back at me.

“You better be damn sure you do,” I said as I walked to Frankie’s room.

She lay sleeping peacefully, holding onto the pillow I had left for her. She was oblivious and I wanted to make sure she remained that way. I just had to figure out how the hell I was going to make that happen with her roommate’s inquisition and the fact that I needed time to figure out what the hell was going on and still keep her, and now the other two people who lived here, safe.

I carefully moved the pillow and slid in. She snuggled into me and I could do nothing except force myself to enjoy this feeling because, at some point, she may realize I was more trouble than I’m worth.

*     *     *

I woke to
my phone vibrating in my pocket and looked over at her bedside alarm. It was six am exactly and I knew only two people called at this time of day. Mother and duty, neither was what I wanted to wake up to.

I slid out from under her arm, put the pillow back in place and snuck out the door. I walked past Shadows asleep on the couch and out the front door to return mothers call in private. I sure as hell didn’t want anyone to know my suspicions.

“Good morning, mother.”

“Jaxson, you sounded upset in your message, and it’s so unlike you to call so late. Is everything all right?”

“No. It’s not.”

“Okay, I have about ten minutes before Lawrence arrives for my workout. Tell me what is wrong.”

Where the fuck was I supposed to start.

“You remember Francesca Cruz?”

“William’s sister. The spunky one, yes, why?”

“She and I are going to try to start a relationships.”

She laughed a condescending laugh, as if I was joking. “Is this a joke, Jaxson? You have never dated.”

“No, it’s not a joke Mother.”

“Jaxson, people like us, don’t date people like them.”

“And just what the fuck—”

“Watch your tone and language with me son.”

“Then explain what that is supposed to mean. She is a good person, Will’s sister.”

“Will’s sister, Jaxson, think about that. You apparently are missing him and that’s why “She loves me and my feelings—”

“Feelings, love? Jaxson you know better. And of course she would say that, you will be a catch to whomever it is you settle with. But you will be with someone with a similar background and social status, Jaxson. This discussion is over. Figure out a way to make her un-love you.”

“Someone beat her up pretty bad last night. Then someone in the same type of vehicle showed up here at her place and left a fucking rope in a box on her doorstep. You know anything about this?” I wanted to scream at her. I wanted to ask her if she knew about my child and the death of Sandra.

“You are publically dating Mimi Caldwell, Jaxson—”

“Like hell I am, Mother. I attend events with her because you’ve been insistent and Frankie isn’t—”