Intoxicated (20 page)

“He would flip. It would almost be worth his
wrath just to see his expression.”

“Remind me not to get on your bad side.”

Our lively conversation had made the short
commute home that much shorter. Disappointedly, I realized that we
were just minutes away from Blake’s. I sighed audibly.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing really. Just time to go back to
reality and my fifteen year old car. I’m sorry I passed judgment on
you prematurely and questioned your sanity for buying a convertible
and living in Indiana. If only we could put the top down, then my
life would be complete.”

“Are you in a hurry to get home?”

“No, not really. What’s up?”

“Keep straight instead of turning off. Head
south on the interstate.”

“Where are we going?”

He smiled. “You’ll see.”

I did as instructed, continuing down the
highway instead of turning off to head back home. Within minutes,
we were merging on to the interstate, southbound toward
Indianapolis. I quickly learned that interstate speeds were even
more satisfying than highway ones.

A few miles down the road, he instructed me
to take the next exit. I did what I was told. He explained to me
that another interstate had been built to effectively bypass
driving through Fort Wayne and dealing with all the traffic that
entailed. This new interstate more or less created a circle around
the city. The whole concept reminded me of the Indy highway
system.

Once on this stretch of interstate, I
realized why he had directed me here. Before me stretched miles of
road, not a soul around us.

“Now,” he said, “you can go as fast as you
want.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“But what if I get caught?”

“You won’t.” He pointed to the radar detector
I had neglected to notice until now.

Feeling brave, I smiled and accelerated. The
car responded quickly, practically begging me to go faster.
Throwing all caution to the wind, I complied. It was an amazing
feeling to be out there, driving in the middle of the night,
watching the mile markers zoom past like I had never seen
before.

“Good job. Just keep your eyes on the road
and don’t look down.”

“Why not?”

“Because if you realize how fast you are
going, you’ll freak.”

“How fast am I going?”

“Promise me you won’t slam on the brakes.
You’ll kill us if you do.”

“Fine. I promise.”

“One hundred and twenty.”

“No shit?”

“No shit.”

At that point, I was sufficiently scared. I
took my foot off the gas and felt the car gradually slow.

“You’re very right. I freaked.”

“You did awesome, Lauren. Very
impressive.”

“Thank you. You have an awesome car.”

“I know.”

We laughed, giddy from the adrenaline rush. I
had honestly never done anything that reckless before in my life.
My head was well aware that so many things could have gone wrong,
but they hadn’t. An animal could have darted across the road. I
could have been distracted and easily steered us to our deaths. But
I hadn’t. It was like a roller coaster ride where I was the
operator, the one in control.

For the rest of the drive, I went exactly the
speed limit, not wanting to press my luck. We talked easily about
plans for the upcoming holiday meal. Even though we had extended
our drive quite a bit, our time together seemed to pass by quickly.
Before I knew it, I was pulling into my driveway.

A quick glance at the dash confirmed that it
was now eleven at night. Blake was still up; the amount of lights
on in the house told me that. Semi-reluctantly, I climbed out of
the car. Matthew followed behind me, apparently deciding that he
would come inside for a while. I still had his keys in my hand.
Since they were convenient, I unlocked the front door with his
key.

Blake was sitting on the sofa watching TV.
She flipped off the television when she heard us come in. Her
athletic frame rose from the couch to meet us at the door.

“Hey, you two,” she greeted warmly, “how did
tonight go?”

“Good,” I said, “I think Thanksgiving will be
awesome. You were absolutely right about his kitchen. I am so
jealous.”

“Of that and some other things,” Matthew
added with a grin. He gave me a playful nudge. “Are you forgetting
something, gorgeous?”

“Oh, right.” I handed him his keys.

Blake stared at our exchange. Her expression
shifted suddenly. In the span of seconds, she had gone from warm
and friendly to cold and icy. I had no idea why. Matthew seemed
oblivious.

“So, we’ll talk about everything later,
okay?” I asked, turning to him.

“Yeah, sounds good. Have a good night,
sweetheart.”

“Night, dork.” Blake interjected.

“Night, sunshine.”

With that, he was gone. As I closed the door
behind him, I wondered if it was too late to take off running after
him. The looks that Blake shot my way were anything but
encouraging.

“What?” I asked.

“Did you drive his car?”

I was almost afraid to answer, the way she
glared at me. I lowered my eyes and responded in the
affirmative.

“Shit.”

That word sure was being thrown around a lot
tonight.

“What?” I asked again.

“If you hurt him, I swear to God, you will
never hear the end of it.”

“Huh? I’m actually a pretty good driver. Ask
him.”

“He never lets anybody drive his car.”

“You can’t tell me that you haven’t driven
the Mustang.”

“I have, but that’s beside the point. I’m his
sister. We’re practically like the same person born three years
apart.”

“I’m still not following.”

“He is so crushing on you, Lauren. Hello,
obvious.”

The color drained completely from my face. I
shook my head, unbelieving.

“It’s just a car. It’s not a big deal.”

Well, maybe that on its own. When you coupled
it with dinner alone at his place and being held in his arms for
countless minutes, it began to sound more and more plausible. More
and more like something that Eric would be jealous of.

Blake snorted. “Guys and their cars. It is a
big deal. It’s like this huge commitment thing. I bet Eric took a
while before he let you drive his car.”

“I’m still waiting for that day.”

“Really? Face it, my brother has a massive
crush on you. And although this could make for an interesting
Thanksgiving, it’s Matthew we’re talking about. I have to look out
for him. Don’t start walking down a path that you can’t continue.
It would shatter him.”

I swallowed hard. What could I say to that?
Instead, I nodded mutely.

“Now, it’s late and I’m going to bed. Have a
good night.”

“Thanks. You, too,” I managed to choke.

She turned on her heel and headed to her
bedroom. I retreated to mine, flipping off lights as I went. Her
words echoed in my head, making my blood run ice cold. Was it that
obvious? Eric had sensed something just in the way I had defended
Matthew; what would he do when he saw us together in the flesh? I
hoped that Matthew would tune down the flirting in front of my
boyfriend and father, but if it was that apparent would that do any
good?

Blake knew him better than anyone else, I
reasoned. Maybe she could pick out clues that others wouldn’t
notice. I reminded myself that she had already called me out on my
own feelings for her brother. She had caught me on a few too many
occasions staring at him more intently than would be considered
polite. I thought I had done okay deflecting her inquiries, maybe
not. Just because she had stopped asking didn’t mean that she
hadn’t put two and two together. She seemed pretty intuitive even
without knowing about my dream.

Matthew wasn’t the only one with a massive
crush.

But crushes were harmless unless they were
acted upon.

Right?

We hadn’t yet crossed the line, had we?

My mind raced as I climbed into bed. I closed
my eyes, attempting to rid my mind of images of him. I tried to
forget the sound of his laughter, the look in his eyes, the
strength of his arms as they held me.

I tried fruitlessly to remember what it felt
like to be happy with Eric.

Things were just intensified with Matthew
because he was new. That was it. When Eric and I had first met, I
was just as breathless over him. Eric and I had settled into the
realm of being comfortable with one another. Ten years together had
bred familiarity, of which there was nothing wrong. We had
experienced so much together, everything seemed safe.
Predictable.

I had to stop putting Matthew on a pedestal.
He would be the first to tell me that he didn’t deserve it. He was
only human, not something that dreams were made out of. I would
show him that he was worthy of being loved, and send him off into
the arms of some other lucky girl. We would live happily ever after
with our respective matches. We were friends, nothing more. There
would never be more.

I needed to come up with a plan to end this
infatuation. Perhaps if I was the one that assisted in finding this
lucky girl, it would be an easier pill to swallow. Sort of like
putting my blessing on their relationship. If I could find someone
worthy of him, then I could stop dreaming of what could have
been.

My eyes snapped open with an idea. Gracie.
True, there would be an age difference to contend with as well as a
physical distance. But those weren’t insurmountable. She already
knew about his legal issues, and she had barely batted an eye. She
would undoubtedly approve of the outer package as well. They were
already going to meet in a few short days. They were two of my
favorite people. If sparks flew between the two of them, it would
solve everything. I just had to make it happen.

I fell asleep to visions of speeding down a
dark, deserted highway. I was traveling so fast I couldn’t make
sense of what way I was headed. I spun in all directions, looking
for clues, but I was totally alone. I felt like I was running.
Whether it was away from something or towards another remained to
be seen. I had not a clue.

Thanksgiving rolled around not a moment too
soon. Preparations for the big day had consumed every waking moment
I wasn’t at work. Between poring over cookbooks for menu ideas and
brainstorming with Blake on decorations, my brain was tired. I was
glad to be occupied; it kept me from thinking about my irrational
feelings for Matthew.

I had purposefully kept my distance from him
these past few days. Of course planning a holiday event at his home
required a couple more visits to the scene of the crime, but Blake
always accompanied me. I made sure never to be alone in the same
room with him. Or maybe Blake made sure of that and gave me the
illusion that it was my idea. Whatever is was, it worked. We
exchanged polite banter but nothing more.

I needed to distance myself from him if this
whole matchmaking deal with Gracie was going to have any hope of
working. I couldn’t think of him as anything other than a good
friend. I had to swallow down the lump in my throat that formed
whenever I thought of him dating anyone.

Even if things didn’t work out with Gracie,
it would still be good for him to interact with an attractive,
single female for a change. In any case, it would supply me with a
barometer for how he acted around other women that he wasn’t
related to. If he flirted with Gracie and quickly gave her a pet
name, I would know it was just his nature and that I wasn’t
anything special. I wasn’t sure that I didn’t want to be special.
It was flattering to be special.

I hadn’t told either of them about the
potential setup. Better to let it happen organically. Obviously, it
wouldn’t be a surprise for her to show up at his door. She had
already been an invited guest. I didn’t worry about Gracie not
being on the top of her game; she rarely left the house without
fashionable clothes, shoes and full hair and makeup. I knew she
would look like her perfect self. I would merely arrange for them
to sit next to each other at dinner and let it go from there.

Blake and I arrived at Matthew’s bright and
early that Thursday morning, arms laden with bags of groceries and
decorations. I knew that Blake could have decorated previously; she
was just looking for an excuse to be our chaperone of sorts. The
plan was to run over, start the turkey and head back to our place
to get ready. Matthew had graciously volunteered to start some of
the side dishes if we didn’t make it back soon enough. I was going
to humor him by allowing him to do some simple tasks. My Type A
personality in the kitchen wouldn’t permit me to let him ruin this
for me, even with good intentions.

After we had unloaded the groceries in the
kitchen, Blake called me back out to the driveway to help with
decorations. She was serious about the supervision thing. Because I
was concerned that our guests would drive past the house, she had
come up with the idea of decorating the mailbox. It was pretty
inventive, really, to make it look like a cornucopia. She wrapped
the pole in rich, fall colored ribbons and instructed me on where
to place the gourds that she had purchased. If that wasn’t an
adequate landmark, I wasn’t sure what was.

We trudged back up the paved driveway, our
breath visible in the chilly morning air. It was going to be a
beautiful fall day. I had been concerned with the forecast, my
fingers crossed that we wouldn’t see an early blizzard. Indiana
weather was anything but predictable. I could just imagine the
complaining I would be subjected to if Eric had to drive his
precious sedan in ice and snow to come over to Matthew’s house.

By the time we made it to the house, I was
grateful for the warm air that greeted us as we stepped inside. One
perk to Blake accompanying me here was that I didn’t have to ring
the doorbell. We just walked inside like we owned the place. For
Blake, this was her home away from home. After all, she had lived
here up until six months ago. She obviously didn’t yet feel like
she was invading his privacy. During the tour Matthew had given me
the other night, he had shown me her old bedroom. It remained
untouched, as though any moment she could move back in.