Into the Nothing (Broken Outlaw Series Book 1) (8 page)

“Is that your second question? Shit, actually that would be your third. Aren’t I supposed to get one?”

“No, they’re both just parts of the first question,” I say with a coy smile.

“You’re killing me. Making up your own rules now?” He laughs and shakes his head. “Okay, okay, so to answer your question, no, none of them did. And that counts as the second question at least. As for
my
question, I want to know what the hardest thing in your life has been.” The way he says it comes off so condescending.

“What? You think because I didn’t spend time in foster care that I haven’t struggled? Seriously?”

Xander’s face turns red, his mouth gapes open. “Wait, wait, wait… down girl! Are you always so quick to assume? You were asking about one of the toughest parts of my life. I figured I’d even it out a little.” He puts a hand on my shoulder. “Okay? I meant no offense. I swear. You don’t have to answer that question, okay? It was stupid.”

“No, it’s alright.” I hesitate for a moment because I don’t often talk about my past, particularly with strangers, but something makes me want to tell him. His presence is comforting.

“My ex was abusive,” I blurt out, bringing a look of shock to Xander’s face. I can feel his eyes burning a hole through me, so I continue talking to fill the awkward void.

“We were high school sweethearts, and for a long time things were normal. In college, he was the star quarterback. He was highly rated and supposed to go into the NFL. But he pissed hot for steroids and ended up getting his scholarship taken away. He started drinking more and doing drugs, and that’s when everything changed.”

My mind takes me back to the exact night, one I’m not likely to forget. Drunk and hopped up on something, Cody pushed me around at my parents’ lake house. Only Ethan and Brandi were with us and, unfortunately, Ethan paid dearly.

I didn’t know what to do. I loved Cody. I really did. He checked every box I had before everything changed. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I could change him.

“I’m so sorry, Paige. I feel like shit for how I came across earlier,” Xander says, his hand meeting my shoulder again.

“It’s okay. I’ve kind of learned to accept it and move on. It was just a lot. Once the abuse started, it never really stopped, and I just had no clue how to get out.”

“How
did
you get out?”

“It took a long time. I opened up to Mom after a little persistence from Brandi. I wanted to tell someone for so long, but I was so scared. Near the end, I thought he might really hurt me. Like something worse than the bumps and bruises. Dad was the last one I wanted to tell, but Mom eventually convinced me otherwise. He went over to Cody’s house and beat the ever-loving shit out of him. Told him if he ever saw him around me again, he’d kill him. I’ve been lucky enough to only run into him a few times since. It’s such a small town… kind of a hard thing to avoid.”

“I can imagine. If I ever see that prick…” Xander’s voice trails off and he cracks his knuckles. His eyes are intense and lost in the row of top shelf liquor.

“Don’t worry, I think he got the hint. I didn’t see it, but I heard my dad didn’t go easy on him. Shit travels fast in small towns.”

“Yeah, it was the same where I’m from.”

“Cody and your buddy from the other night run together,” I say, motioning my head to the spot where Benji Mathis was at the mercy of Xander just a couple nights ago. “They’re really doing their best to turn this town to shit. They deal meth and some other stuff with this guy, Russ. Real pieces of work…all of them. ”

Brandi approaches with two more shots and sets them in front of Xander and me.

“Tell me you’re not talking about that horrible ex of yours. Have some shots. Lighten things up a bit.”

“I’m okay with how the conversation’s going,” Xander says, a smart-ass smirk on his face. He raises his shot glass in the air and nods to Brandi before taking it.

“Okay, your turn. Don’t you go thinking I’ve forgotten about this game of ours.” I smile and poke him in his side.

“Okay, okay, let me think…I’ve got major Fireball brain right now.” He rubs his temples and closes his eyes. “Oh, I have one… has your brother always been such a dick?” He laughs, as do I, and then he puts up a hand. “Completely kidding. He seems… uh… nice.”

“Hey, you don’t have to sugarcoat it for me. I know full well how much of a dick my brother is. But he’s been through a lot in his life. He was in foster care himself awhile. Went through a few families and didn’t have the best experiences. My parents couldn’t conceive after me, but they desperately wanted another kid so they adopted Caleb when he was seven.” My gaze drops to the floor. “Probably sharing a bit too much there. I drink and the word vomit commences.”

“No, you’re totally fine. I like it. I feel like shit for being judgmental though. I would’ve never guessed he was adopted. He looks just like you guys.”

“Don’t feel bad. How are you supposed to know? Anyway, I have my next question for you, mister.”

Xander clears his throat dramatically. “I think you mean
last
question, lady. And that’s disregarding your three-part first question,” he says with a laugh.

“Ugh, fine! Last question.”

“Shoot.”

“
Friends
or
The Office
.”

“That’s a terrible question. How the hell am I supposed to choose?” He stands and tips the stool against the bar.

“You’re going to have to,” I tell him.

“No, what I have to do is piss. You’ll have to wait for your answer.” He winks and makes his way to the bathroom.

U
pon exiting the bathroom, I notice another guy—presumably Ethan—has taken up a stool right next to Paige.

Before taking my seat, I extend a hand to him. “I guess you’re Ethan. How’re you doing? I’m Xander.”

He takes my hand, limp wristed, and then quickly lets go. “Yeah, I know who you are. Brandi can’t stop frickin’ talking about you.” He rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “You’d think you piss gold or something.”

“Damn Ethan, you on your period, buddy?” Paige says with a playful laugh. He’s not as impressed as I am by her joke.

“No, no, just giving Xander a bit of shit. A little rookie hazing, no?” He looks at me with an odd smile and I nod, though I have no idea what he’s talking about. “How have the Watsons been treating you, my man?” Ethan asks, pushing his oversized glasses back up the bridge of his nose. He has mechanic’s hands, oiled and rough, and they fidget constantly. That being said, this guy didn’t look like any mechanic I’ve ever met.

“I have no complaints,” I say. “Mrs. Watson is quite the cook. She’s been fattening me up.”

“Yes, yes she is quite the cook. I’ve spent a lot of time at that house. I’ve known the Watsons since I was just a kid. I think Teresa would likely adopt me if she could!” He looks to Paige excitedly, almost manically. “Right?”

“Well, she sure does miss you helping out in the kitchen. She doesn’t get much help from her own kids,” Paige says, forcing an awkward laugh and then she calls for Brandi to bring more drinks for the two of us.

Ethan scoffs and snaps his fingers at Brandi, indicating he wants another drink as well, though his is still three-quarters full. She ignores him. Rolling his eyes, he huffs and turns to face me. “I suppose you’ll be at the wine festival this weekend?”

“Yeah, everyone keeps talking about it. I guess I’d better,”

“Yes, you’d better.” He smiles again, his crooked teeth peeking from behind chapped lips. This guy is into Paige, and he makes no attempt at hiding it. It’s almost amusing the way he interacts with her. At first I thought maybe he was gay, but the way he looks at her…I don’t know. It’s creepy.

“By the way, Paige,” I say, trying my best to shut this dude up. He’s already starting to annoy me. “I’ve decided it’s a question that cannot be answered.”

She shakes her head as I take a new beer from Brandi and lift it in appreciation. Ethan looks to me, confused.

“I said you have to answer it.” She smirks. “Rules are rules.”

“Answer what?” Ethan asks.

“Better show,
The Office
or
Friends
,” Paige says, her eyes still on me. “So, Xander?”

“That’s easy, they both suck,” Ethan interjects.

“That’s not an option, Ethan. Xander, go.”

“If you’re holding a gun to my head, then… I guess…
The Office
.” Paige throws two thumbs down and boos.

“This is a shit conversation.” Ethan’s haughty voice is grating on my nerves.

“So let’s talk about you then, Ethan. What do you do?” I ask before chugging my beer. I tried to mask my annoyance, but it’s not something I’m very good at. Especially after I’ve been drinking. The rate at which it’s going down now is scary. We are about to enter Xander drunk territory, as my buddies who serve would say, which never turns out very well for me.

“I’m a mechanic at my dad’s shop. Not my dream job, but it pays,” Ethan says.

“So what is your dream job?”

“Hell if I know. Not a goddamn mechanic, that’s for sure.”

“Hey, I know the feeling. I’ve done everything from electrical installation to construction and roofing. Now, I’m picking grapes. God knows where I’ll be or what I’ll be doing a year from now, but none of it’s ever what I imagined I’d be doing.” I look at the empty shot glasses. “Hey Ethan, you want a shot? Paige, I don’t know about you. You gotta drive.”

“Wait, wait, wait. I want one!” Paige whines. “I’m sure as shit not driving after all the shots I’ve had. Are you crazy? We can just have Brandi take us home after the bar closes. She spends the night pretty much every night anyways.”

“Okay, cool, and Ethan?” I ask.

“Yeah, I guess, but what are you having? I don’t do the strong stuff.”

“Nah, we’re just doing Fireball.”

“That
is
the strong stuff.” I try my best not to laugh, but it tears from my mouth regardless. Paige starts laughing too, and Ethan’s face turns bright red.

“Fuck you guys,” he says, flicking his hand our way effeminately.

My laughing stops abruptly. Any other man saying those words to me would’ve been beaten senseless. I stow the feeling away, not wanting to ruin the evening. Instead, I motion for Brandi to grab three more. She starts to fill four.
So much for our DD
.

She brings the shots, balancing them against each other as only a seasoned bartender can, and sets them in front of us. Ethan grimaces when he lifts his. I want to laugh again, but I refrain. It takes everything I have not to ridicule him.

“Cheers!” I say and we take the shots. Three of them stay down. One comes right back up in a trail leading to the bathroom, our laughter a soundtrack behind Ethan as he scurries away. Paige and I laugh for a good five minutes as Brandi bitches about how she “won’t be cleaning that shit up”.

Ethan comes back with a stick up his ass and barely speaks I’m too drunk to give a shit, though I can promise you I wouldn’t care stone cold sober either. This dude is a fucking creep. And right now, he’s lucky he’s Paige’s friend.