Intent (15 page)

Not knowing what to expect at the end of the season makes it difficult to think of this as a long-term relationship.

Knowing how I feel about him makes it impossible to think this is anything but a lifelong relationship.

When I finally find it, there’s a missed call and voice mail banner across the screen. It’s a New York number again. I call Zoe first before she raids the kitchen of all our food. Since the stress of telling her parents has subsided, her cravings have hit full force. When we disconnect, I grit my teeth and steel my nerves to listen to the voice mail message.

It’s from Bobby. He sounds haggard and miserable, begging and pleading. “Layne, please call me back. We have to talk. There are things I
need
to tell you. I’m sorry for what I said when we talked last time. It came out all wrong. I was trying so hard to not fuck up that I made it even worse. Just please talk to me.”

The expression on my face and the change in my demeanor must be transparent because Ace stops what he’s doing to watch me carefully. “Everything okay, babe?” He knows it isn’t, but he asks the polite question anyway.

All I can do is shake my head in disgust. “I had a missed call and voice mail from a number back home. It was Bobby and he’s begging me to call him back.”

“What does he want?” Ace straightens his spine, his expression becomes serious, and he moves into my personal space as if to shield and protect me.

With my hand on his chest, I try to reassure him. “He said he has something to tell me. I’m okay, Ace. My reaction was simply because I really don’t care what he has to say. What’s done is done, and he can’t change it now.”

His brows draw down before he replies in an ominous tone. “I’d be glad to relay the message to him. In my own words.”

A
CE

“
S
quirt is bathed
, pajama’d, and already asleep. You must’ve worn her out today.”

“Pajama’d?” Layne asks teasingly.

“That’s a legit word.”

“No wonder I’m having such a hard time teaching her to speak correctly,” Layne laughs. “That is definitely not a legit word.”

“I love that you speak your mind, Layne. I don’t have to wonder if you’re harboring some secret resentment because you can’t speak up for yourself. You put me in my place when I need it, but I never have to question if you have my back. I can’t tell you how unique that is to find someone like that around here.”

Well, fuck. Listen to me pouring my feelings out faster than I can pour a beer. Aren’t I Mr. Sensitive-Touchy-Feely Ace Sharp? There is just something about Layne that brings out the whipped pussy in me. Apparently, she also brings out the possessive, jealous man in me, too. When she said Bobby had called her again, begging her to talk to him, I wanted to have a man-to-man talk with him right then. By the time I got done with him, he’d have no doubt who the man in Layne’s life is now. He sure as hell doesn’t fit that bill.

“Speaking of speaking my mind,” she replies pensively and instantly puts me on high alert. She’s never hesitant to tell me what’s on her mind.

“Let’s hear it. Spit it out.”

She starts by reminding me of Zoe’s current pregnant state and her parents’ reaction to it.

“Yes, I’m well aware. She just had dinner with us a little while ago before going back to the cabin you’re now sharing with her. She’s not wearing the oversized clothes to hide it anymore, so her advanced pregnancy is clearly visible. And?”

Next, she reminds me of Zoe’s age and how her senior year of high school is coming up soon. Again, I’ve known Zoe all her life, so this is not news to me. I’m still waiting for the bombshell. She then shares Zoe’s aspirations to move to Athens and have the full college experience at UGA. Without conscious thought, my eyes drift down the hall to River’s bedroom door and I try to picture myself in this same situation at seventeen years old instead of thirty.

I’m beginning to understand the predicament.

“Zoe asked me to adopt her baby and raise it as my own. She has such a bright future, but she knows she won’t be able to provide for this baby if she stays here. I’ve told you about my problems conceiving and how very much I want a baby. So, I’ve agreed to adopt her baby,” Layne explains. “We’ve already filed the petition for adoption with the court.”

I’m completely dumbfounded for a moment as I try to assimilate the ramifications of Layne’s decision. What does this mean for us? This is more serious than one of us driving up in a brand-new car and convincing the other one it was a good investment. Adopting a child is a wonderful thing, but shouldn’t we have talked about it together first?

“How long have you two been planning this?”

“She asked me after the race on the river, when we were on the playground together, and I agreed after we’d talked about it for a while.”

I feel my head nodding slowly, not entirely in agreement, but more in understanding. My gaze is fixed on the blank TV screen directly in front of me. She’s waiting for me to respond, but I can’t look at her at this second. Like an idiot, I’ve apparently misread our entire relationship and expected it to be more. This is what I get for giving love another chance to fuck me over.

“Hmm,” I finally reply. “That sounds great for you. You’re finally getting what you’ve always wanted.”

She shifts on the couch, turning sideways to fully face me. “Ace, now isn’t the time to hold back what you really think. Talk to me.”

“Talk to you?” I retort in disbelief as I jerk my head to the side to look at her. “You mean the same way you talked to me about this decision before you agreed to it? Don’t get me wrong—I think this is the best course for her and for you. I guess I’m just now realizing that I don’t factor into the equation at all. You gave no consideration to me before plunging headlong into a decision that impacts both of us. No giving me the benefit of being part of the decision that you made two weeks ago.

“Do you have any idea what the first question that popped into my mind was? I’ll tell you. I thought, ‘What does this mean for us?’
Us.
As in you and me. As in a couple. But now that I think about it, the answer to my question is crystal clear. You don’t see ‘us’ as a couple. You don’t see a future for ‘us.’ There isn’t an ‘us.’ There’s you and there’s me. Separate.”

Pent-up energy, anger, and a sense of betrayal propel me off the couch and onto my feet. As I pace around the room, I think about how fucked up the rest of the summer will be with her living next door to me. So close but so far away. There’ll be no more of our late-night lovemaking, holding her tightly until we fall asleep, or waking up with her in my arms. No more evening strolls with River walking between us, holding our hands and watching the sunsets—like a family. I feel like such a fucking fool.

“You’re partially right,” she replies softly. “I should’ve talked to you about it sooner. I’m so sorry I didn’t. Even more than that, I’m sorry I’ve made you feel like you’re not a very significant part of my life. That couldn’t be further from the truth, Ace. Zoe, Lily, and I had just been talking about my feelings for you a few minutes before this conversation with Zoe occurred. It all happened so fast and I didn’t want to miss what may be my only chance. Zoe was so adamant that her mind was made up to put her baby up for adoption one way or another.

“The truth is, Ace, I do see us. I do want us—all four of us. The only thing I’m unsure about is what happens to us when my leave from work is over. When the summer ends, do we end too? You said before that we’d go where the summer never ends, and my heart believed you. But my mind says that’s just an imaginary place and a way to avoid dealing with the reality that’s right in front of us. I didn’t know what else to do, or even how to ask you if you wanted to adopt a baby with me.”

Layne stops talking for a moment and I hear the telltale sounds of sniffles coming from behind me. I turn to look at her, and the sight of Layne’s tearstained cheeks deeply disturbs the caveman protector in me. The urge to lash out and annihilate the bastard who made my girl cry is strong. My hands curl into fists and I take a step toward her, intent on comforting her, until I realize that
I’m
the bastard who made her cry.

She wipes her eyes and somehow sounds even sadder when she speaks again. The tears continue to stream down her face so fast that she gives up trying to wipe them away. She slides to the edge of the couch, slightly leans forward, and props her forearms on her legs. The vise in my chest squeezes tighter with every tear that hits the floor.

“When I said I’m falling for you, you said you’d fall with me. I am so in love with you I can’t even picture my life back in New York anymore. I should be scared of this, of giving you my heart after what I’ve been through. But all I can see is you and me and River and now this baby as a family. I don’t know exactly
how
we’ll stay together, but
you
are all I can see. My biggest fear is that you’ll let me get on that plane and leave here forever.”

She pushes up from the couch without looking at me and picks up her purse sitting on the floor beside her. When she turns toward the door, my feet spring into action before my mind even thoroughly registers what’s happening. From behind her, my arms wrap around her waist and hold her tightly to me. My mouth is against her ear and I make my heartfelt plea. I can only hope it’s enough.

“Please don’t go. Don’t leave me, Layne. You’re all I can see for the rest of my life. And I’ve had those exact thoughts—that I should run, hide, protect myself and my daughter—but I can’t. My forever starts and ends with you. I want to be the one who makes you happy. The one you run to first. The one who protects you. I swear, I’d never let you get anywhere near that plane. There is nothing I wouldn’t do just to be with you. I am such a fucking idiot. I love you so damn much, but apparently I just assumed you knew that. Stay with me.”

I’m holding my breath waiting for her to decide, but I can’t release her from my embrace. My heart is thumping in my chest, my lungs are burning and revolting against me, but the strength in my arms hasn’t waned. When I feel her tense muscles suddenly relax throughout her entire body, I can breathe again. She lets me take her purse from her hand and drop it beside the couch. Since I know she isn’t leaving, I loosen my grip just enough to turn her around to face me.

The sadness in her eyes makes my stomach drop to my ankles. One arm is still wrapped around her waist as the other hand slides up her body, her neck, and to her face to wipe away the stray tears. She inhales a haggard breath to try to soothe her frayed emotions.

“I want to be the one who makes you cry tears of happiness. Never tears of pain,” I whisper.

“I want that, too,” her small voice replies. “I’m crying because I thought I’d lost you.”

“Never,” I vow. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way. Thinking I’d lost you made me a little crazy.”

“Never,” she replies.

Our mouths clash in an all-consuming need to reconnect, to feel the closeness only one union can provide, to consummate the oath we willingly made. Her soft lips yield to mine, handing over control of the pace and intensity. My hand slides through her thick blond hair, and I tilt her head to deepen our kiss. Urgent doesn’t begin to describe our insatiable need. She tastes so good I can’t get enough of her. The erotic way her tongue glides across mine, slick, warm, and wet, sends arcs of electricity to my cock and makes it instantly rock hard.

Sliding my hand down to her shorts, I quickly remove them and slide my finger inside her wetness. She’s more than ready for me, but I want to feel and hear her come from what I can do to her with my hand. With the increased speed and pressure, her fingers dig into my skin, her knees buckle, and her muscles tense. Holding her weight with one arm around her waist, I break our kiss to watch her face as the waves of pleasure ripple through her. The sudden gush of warmth on my hand coupled with the sexiest whimper I’ve ever heard conveys what she doesn’t have the ability to say.

“That’s my girl,” I murmur against her neck. “You’re so beautiful, especially when you come for me.”

Our lips meet again, our tongues desperate for the sensation, and in my carnal haze, I can’t think of anything other than burying my cock inside her. The unrelenting need to feel her body wrap around me like a form-fitting glove, stroke me until I lose control of myself, and shudder when her pleasure peaks at indescribable levels consumes me.

“I need you now, Layne. Right now,” I demand.

“I’m yours. Take whatever you want from me,” she purrs.

In our fever, our clothes instantly disappear from our bodies into haphazard piles on the floor. I lift her in my arms and place her on the couch before climbing on top of her, aligning our bodies, and settling my hips between her legs. Our mouths collide once again as our bodies become one. We’re combined in the most perfect unity when my hips thrust forward and drive into her with one fluid move.

She cries out in pleasure as I stretch her to accommodate my girth and fill her as far as she can take me. Each plunge into her becomes more significant than the last. We move hurriedly like two desperate animals, each grappling for more—more pleasure, deeper commitment, and an intimate conversation that can only come from combining our minds and bodies.

With the most basic need satisfied, our focus becomes the more essential needs. When I push into her, it’s so much more than sex. So much more than just fucking. This thrust tells her how much she means to me, that she’s now part of me and I’m part of her. When her hips rise to meet me and take me deeper inside her, she’s saying she’s all mine and she’s claimed me as hers. I adjust our position so that her back is supported by the armrest of the couch, and we’re face-to-face, eye-to-eye, and mouth-to-mouth when we tumble over the edge of rapture together.

I’m still buried deep inside her, my cock still throbbing and her inner walls still quivering, when our bodies still after the frenzy that just possessed us. Our lips are still touching as we pant, our chests heaving in an attempt to catch up with our sprinter’s pace. The unspoken words pass between us through our eyes alone. We both know there’s no going back, no backing out, and no changing our minds. We’re in this together, through thick and thin, for better or for worse.

“I am completely under your spell,” I whisper against her mouth. “You are so perfect.”

A tear drops from her eye and rolls down her cheek. Concerned, I search her eyes for a clue of what she’s thinking. “I’ve never been happier than when I’m with you, Ace.” Her arms tighten around me, pulling my weight down onto her, and her hands glide up and down my back lovingly.

Not until this second do I realize that we just made love without a condom. No protection whatsoever. “Layne, baby,” I interrupt our serene afterglow time. “I am so sorry. This is all my fault.”

“What are you talking about, Ace?”

“I’m not wearing a condom. In the heat of the moment, it didn’t even occur to me. I promise you have nothing to worry about from me. I haven’t forgotten even once since I was with River’s mom, but I still get tested regularly.” I feel like such a dick, ruining our perfect moment like this.

“It’s okay, Ace. I’m just as responsible for it as you are, and I got caught up in the moment too. Bobby is the only other man I’ve ever been with, but I went to the doctor to have myself checked as soon as we broke up. That’s the one thing I could think clearly about.”

“Does this mean we can stop using the condoms completely now? There is nothing better than being able to feel you with no barriers between us.”

“After years of doctor visits, irregular cycles, and trying to get pregnant, I now know I can’t, so I’m not on birth control. But I’m okay with it if you are. This time felt so much more intimate…personal…real.”

“We are real, Layne. All the unanswered questions will work out if we do this together, as one.”