Insomnia (Sexual Misconduct Volume I) (6 page)

And
God,
did Xander know how to satisfy that hunger. It would’ve been okay if the hunger went away, but it returned with a blaze as soon as we kissed. His lips were firm and strong, tongue plunging into my mouth with strong devouring strokes.

It was odd that we
’d fucked before we’d kissed. But the kiss seemed more intimate, like we were sealing some bond we’d just created. Besides how wet it made me, it caused my heart to pound, that fluttering in my belly to blossom again, and a complete shutdown of my mind. He was fucking the sense out of my head with his tongue. He used it as effectively as his cock, teasing his way into my mouth, then ravaging me. His hands cupped my ass, fingers digging in as he pulled me up against his hardening cock.

If
I wasn’t carful, in a few short minutes, my legs would be wrapped around his waist and his cock would be driving deep within me again. I pushed at his chest; he ground into me. I pushed again and pulled my head back, breaking the kiss. He stared down at my lips. I almost saw his mind working in that wicked gleam in his eye. He wanted to kiss me again, most likely until I gave in and let him fuck me again. He was insatiable, but I was uncompromising as I slipped out from his hold and put the desk between us.

“This isn
’t over,” he said before turning and leaving me alone with his scent wrapped around me and a bittersweet soreness between my legs. Xander Pierce was on a mission, and he was going to leave me completely annihilated.

Avery

“I
’m sorry I’m late,” I said as I threw my jacket down on the bench opposite Matt and slid into the booth.

“It
’s fine. I ordered for you.” Matt gestured at the Panini already situated on my side of the table. I’d been seeing patients at the hospital all morning and, honestly, I was still out of sorts over what happened with Xander.

“I did something really stupid, completely out of character, and unethical.”
I needed to confess. I’d been running over that scene in my office for two days and still couldn’t figure out what to do.

“Calm down
, Avery. Whatever it is it can’t be that bad.”

“I have this patient
—”

“Xander.” I gave him an irritated look. He smiled.

“Matt, I’m trying to not break doctor/patient confidentiality here.”

He chuckled. “Uh
-huh… Okay, so you have this mysterious patient, and…?”

“He doesn
’t take our sessions seriously. He’s cocky, arrogant, crude, pushy, and…”

“And?”

I covered my face with my hand and peeked through my fingers at Matt. “And I fucked him,” I mumbled.

Matt choked on his food,
picked up his glass of water, and drank it. Then he began to laugh.

“This isn
’t funny. I’m totally failing as his therapist, and it’s probably because every time we’re in the same room, I can’t concentrate on anything but his sexy dimples and that body and how I want to lick his—”

“
Wait… you’re serious?” Matt gaped at me.

I nodded.

“First. Let’s not get X-rated in here. We both know you’re really good at licking… whatever it is you were going to say, but I digress. Since you’ve already stepped across the line, you need to resign as his therapist. I mean… you actually slept with him?” His eyebrows were furrowed, and he gazed at me like I was going to tell him I was joking at any minute.

I gave him a look that answered his question.

“Wow. I never thought you’d get over me.” He smiled because we both knew our breakup was mutual, and moving on wasn’t a problem. I just didn’t want to complicate my life with a relationship. I rolled up a napkin and tossed it at his smug face.

“What am I going do, Matt?”

“I just told you. Quit.”

“No… I mean what
am I going to do about getting him to back off.”

“Is that what you really want?”

I put my forehead on the table and sighed. “I don’t know.”

“Hey.” I looked up.
Matt leaned closer, with his forearm braced on the table. “I know you hate letting people in. Afraid to love because you’re scared it’ll get taken away. You don’t have to love the guy. Just have fun while he’s still in town.”

I sighed. “
I’m not afraid. I let Ellie in. I let you in.”

“It too
k you years to really let me in. Before that, you were an ice queen.”

“So what are you saying? That I shouldn
’t be wary when someone who can’t even open up to me as a patient is slowly weaving their way into my life?”

“
You should always be wary, sweetie, but let someone hop over that wall you’ve built every once in a while.”

“And what happens when they get tired of hopping over it and knock it down? I
’ll be unprotected.”

He
covered my hands with his and looked at me with a serious gaze. “If he does anything to hurt you, I’ll be here to help you rebuild that wall. Okay?”

I knew he would. Matt had been there for me since our second week of college. He
’d been my lab partner, study partner, and friend. By the time I started medical school, he was my roommate and lover. We ended up being best friends and colleagues because we just didn’t work as a couple. We had our own office while still occasionally working shifts at the local hospital. Everything was as we planned. Except we were both still single.

*~*~*

Two days later, I couldn’t get Xander out my mind. He hadn’t called or shown up, which made me nervous. I just wasn’t sure if I was nervous he’d pop out when I least expected, or that I’d never see him again. I suspected I was more concerned with the latter.

After back
-to-back sessions at my office, I got in my car and received a text from Ellie as I started the ignition.

Where are you?

Just leaving work.

I
’m at the restaurant.

I
’ll be there in five.

We
tried to have dinner every Friday night. Ellie had skipped out on me early the last three weeks in a row. I was hoping we’d get some time to shut off the rest of the world and just be us again.

The
Italian restaurant was crowded when I arrived, but the hostess quickly ushered me to a table near the back where Ellie waited for me.

“We live in the same house but never see each other anymore.”
I slid into the booth.

“Finals
are coming up and there’s a lot happening on campus.”

“When the semester ends
, we should go to Aruba for a week.” She looked unimpressed. “What? You love it there. We can sunbathe all day and have drinks by the beach at night.”

“I can
’t, Avery. I’m going to try to get a summer job.”

“Why?”

“Because I need to be able to pull my weight. You can’t take care of me forever.”

“I
’m not planning to, but since I’m capable of doing it, youshould take advantage and concentrate on school.
”
She nodded, but I wasn’t convinced she agreed with me.

The waiter came and took our orders, gathered the
menus, and left.

“You know I don
’t mind, right?” I continued where we left off.

“But I do. You
’ve always been there for me. I want to be able to do things for myself and eventually do things for you.”

“And you will
as soon as you graduate and get a job.”

“
Whatever.”

“What
’s the matter with you lately? You don’t come home. You’re so moody and quiet.”

She
sighed. “I’m just stressed with school and trying to find a job. I’m sorry if I’m taking it out on you.”

I nodded
, but something nagged at me. We ate most of our meal in silence, only chatting about upcoming exams and school activities. She fidgeted a lot and was anxious. I knew she was looking for an excuse to run off.

Right
before dessert, her excuse came in the form of a text message. She checked the message and said, “I got to go.”

She threw down her napkin and got up. I grabbed her wrist bef
ore she ran off. “What’s going on, Ellie?”

“Nothing.”

“If this is about what I said about you getting a job, we can talk about it. I can probably get you a job at the hospital this summer.”

“
It’s not.” She grabbed her tote bag and tried to pull her arm free from my grasp.

“I only want what
’s best for you.”

“I know
, and you don’t get that being able to take care of myself is what’s best. What would I do if anything happens to you? I’d be hopeless.”

“You
’d be fine because everything I have would be yours.”

She smiled sadly and shook her head. “I love you,
Avery. One day I’ll make you proud of me.” She leaned over and kissed me on the cheek.

“You already do
,” I said before she rushed out of the restaurant. Ellie had a life to live, and soon I’d be alone again, and that was even scarier than having to let someone in. I dropped a few bills on the table and scooped up my purse. I wasn’t sure if I was making the right decision, but Xander made me feel alive, and I just wanted to feel that again—even if it was only for a couple nights.

Avery

Xander opened the door with
a puzzled look on his face. His hair was wet, feet bare, and he wore only a pair of running pants.

“How
’d you know where I lived?”

“You may have secluded yourself out here
, but the whole town knows where the movie star is staying.”

He
narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. The rippled muscles of his abdomen looked even better than they’d felt when I touched him over his shirt. “What are you doing here?”

“I
came to tell you I quit. I can’t be your doctor anymore.”

He
put both hands behind his head and laced his fingers together. The move put the lean muscles of his upper body on display. My eyes were drawn to his dusky nipples, down the smooth skin of his torso, and ended at the very large bulge at the front of his lightweight pants. Before the other day in my office, it had been three years since I had sex. Now I couldn’t even look at a half-naked man—well,
Xander
— without wanting to salivate at his feet.

“Don
’t do this, Avery. We had a good time the other day. Don’t run away from what’s happening between us.” He looked irritated.

“No
, you don’t understand. I. Quit.” I stepped forward, reached out, and ran a hand over his chest, down his abs, then around his waist. Then I looked up at him and said, “Now there’s nothing stopping us.”

A
slow smile spread across his lips as realization hit him. Then he cupped my face in his hands. “I can’t believe I’m even going to ask this, but are you sure? Because once I shut this door, you may never leave.”

I smiled
up at him. “You’re so full of yourself.”

“
No…” He leaned in, his lips softly brushing against mine. “I’d rather
you
be full of me.” A cocky smirk played on his lips before they came down on mine. He took a few steps back, pulling me along with him, and slammed the door shut.

He kissed me. I reciprocated.
It wasn’t a sweet, tender kiss. It was an aggressively wild kiss. The kind that was so untamed neither of us had any control over it; it just raged through us. Our lips mashed, teeth clinked, and tongues battled a war we’d both win and lose. Because in the end, the kind of pleasure we sought—the kind of pleasure we knew we’d get from each other—would destroy us emotionally but leave us both physically victorious.

“Xander…” I whined. “Bed.”

“Fuck the bed. I want to taste you now.” He grabbed both sides of my blouse and tore it open. The forceful move caused my back to hit the door, and the buttons to fly off and scatter. His gaze became glued to my see-through white lace bra. He reached out and ran a single fingertip over my nipple, causing it to pucker under his smooth caress.

“Take
it off.” His voice rumbled low and gritty. He’d snap soon. He’d jump over the edge and I’d follow him there just to quell a small fraction of the urgency and desire rushing though my body.

I
slid off my shirt, then reached behind and slowly unhooked it, letting the straps slowly glide down my arms until it fell to the floor. He reached out, almost cautiously, cupping my breasts in his hands. He took his time familiarizing himself with the weight of them, caressing the skin, then rolled his thumbs over each nipple. My back arched, eyes squeezed shut because I never knew such a simple touch could affect me so desperately. I felt his touch through every cell, and it stole my breath and what little sense I had left.

“
So fucking sexy.” He lowered his head and sucked my nipple into his warm mouth, His tongue swirling around it. Then he quickly nipped it with his teeth. I swayed. He scooped me up and carried me to the couch.

He
yanked my skirt over my hips, tore off my panties, but left the garters fastened. He ran his fingers up my thighs, over my hips, then down over my pussy. I was dragged down the couch by my waist, where he positioned my ass so it pivoted on the armrest.

I
didn’t remember how I imagined it would be, but Xander was better than any of my expectations. Once he dropped to his knees, he went to work and never stopped. He started low, licking my thighs and pressing closed-mouthed kisses over my pussy. He used his thumbs to spread me open, then slowly licked the inner sides of my lips. My hips jerked up in an effort to rush him, but he continued undeterred.

Heat
spread through my body, yet goose bumps formed on my skin. I was feverish from the ache in my clit. He was tortuously keeping me on edge. Licking over, around, and beneath the one place I needed him to.

“Xander…
please… please… please…” I’d been reduced to a begging, whimpering mess.

“
What do you want?” His words were mumbled against my flesh and the vibration echoed on my clit. I shivered. He lifted his head and looked me in the eye. His lips were moist with my arousal. He licked them.

Fuck
, I want that tongue on my clit!

“
Aren’t you the ballsy doctor who called me on my shit? Own your pleasure. Tell me what you want me to do to this pussy.” He leaned in and rubbed the tip of his nose over my clit, and my back bowed from the bolt of pleasure.

“Fuck! Oh God!”

“Don’t cry out to him for mercy. I’m the only one who can give you what you want. Now fucking beg
me
.”

“Sadistic bastard,” I mumbled when he backed off again.
He bit my thigh. I yelped. “Xander… please… put your tongue on my clit… please.”

He
growled and dove back in. The first sweep of his tongue over my clit was soft and slow… once, twice. By the third time, I lifted my hips and pushed my pussy into his face. My modest side couldn’t compete with the wanton fire burning in me.

His
smooth swipes turned into a steady rhythm of solid flicks. Then he wrapped his lips around my clit and sucked. Red-hot heat coursed through me. I writhed. He restrained my hips with his hands. I panted, tossing my head and straining my neck. I’d never felt anything like it. He worked my body into a frenzied inferno I wasn’t sure he’d be able to douse.

Then…
he proved me wrong. In one swift move, he drove two thick fingers into me, licked the sensitive underside of my clit, and I rocketed into my orgasm. The wild eruption of pleasure was excessive, but I still craved more.

He
slowly lapped at my clit, sending steady waves of shocks pulsing through me. Then he stood up, pulled down his pants, and his cock jutted out. Though it had been in me before, I’d never actually seen him fully aroused. It was massive and thick. He had an upturned cock that pointed toward his abs. I watched as he stretched the condom over the plump crown and rolled it down.

He
moved toward me. I started to pull back, but he caught my legs, pulled my ass back on the armrest, and spread my thighs. “Don’t. Fucking. Move.”

“Xander…” I
whined. “You’re too…” He rubbed the tip across my slit. I moaned. “Too… big…” The last word came out as a screech as he pushed his cock into me, pulled back out, and pushed in farther. I tried to reach out and hold him off—slow him down—but I couldn’t reach. He stretched me, filled me to the hilt, leaving me choking on my words.

“And you
’re so fucking tight.” He gave me several short, slow thrusts before he lost hold of his restraint. He pounded me, his fingers digging into my waist, his muscles flexing with each aggressive lunge.

H
is thrusts were deep and wild, building a frenzied need for release in me again. I rolled my hips into his thrusts, clutching the cushions for support. Took desperate breaths as my nipples pebbled into aching buds, my pussy throbbing for release.

“Pussy
’s so fucking hot.”

“I
’m gonna come,” I moaned.

He shook his head
, gazing at me like a man possessed. “Take more.”

“Oh…
Fuck… I can’t.”

“Take everything I give you and tell me how much you like it.”

I needed to come badly, or I needed something to center me, take me out of the moment, because I was going to tip over. “I like it.” He bumped against my clit and I jolted. “Oh God… I love it… I love your cock.”

I wanted to feel his skin pressed against mine, his breaths against my ear
, but he kept his distance. We both knew if we added even the merest touch to our already magnified level of intimacy, this would become more than a simple fuck. His expression hardened. His fingers dug into my thigh as he rutted into me at an angle that caused the thick head of his cock to hit that bundle of nerves on each descent.

He
knitted his brows, sweat-drenched muscles straining with the need to release, and he bit on his lip to keep from shouting. All the effort we were both making to hold back our emotions was a sign that this was like nothing we’d ever experienced.

“
Ohh fuck… coming…” He growled the words in between each thrust, reaching over and rolling his thumb over my clit. The extra stimulation was too much or just what I needed, because my muscles tightened and I came…
hard
. My pussy clenched as his cock pulsed. The vibrating muscles of our sexes feeding off each other in an orgasm that kept going and going in a series of tugs and pulls that drained all the
want
and
need
from our body.

When
we finally looked at each other again, we wore the same dumbfounded expression with a tinge of fear, because the
want
and
need
didn’t really go away with that climax. It took root in my gut and grew at a rapid pace. It was the type of thing I’d crave, that would grow into some sort of obsession, infatuation, or worse…
love
.

I flinched as he pulled out, rolling off the condom
, and tossing it into the nearby trash. He returned, pulling me up the couch and fitting himself next to me. He splayed his arm over my breasts, his hand in my hair. His thigh rested between my legs and his cock pressed against my hip. He’d coiled himself around me as his soft breaths implied he’d fall asleep soon. But before he did, he whispered the words that echoed in my head since we’d shared that orgasm. “We’re fucked.” Both literally and figuratively, because I knew after this I was ruined.