Insomnia (Sexual Misconduct Volume I) (2 page)

Avery

“Matthew, I have back-to-back appointments all week and I don’t want to—”

“
Avery, please this is very important to me—to us. We can network with a lot of people. It can bring in new patients.”

“I know.” I sighed, ru
bbing a hand over my eyes. “But—”

“We
’ll only stay two hours, I promise.” He knew I’d do it, because no matter what, I always gave in. He barely let me get a word in edgewise, but we understood each other. After all, he was my best friend, business partner, and ex-boyfriend.

“Fine, but two hours and—
” The door to my office flew open, and I looked up in surprise, gaping at the man towering in the doorway.

“
Thanks, babe. Two hours, I promise.” Matthew rattled on as I stared at the incredibly hot stranger who’d burst into my office. I ended the call, putting the phone down on my desk, and continued staring at him.

He
was stunning.

He
wasn’t the kind of handsome you saw across the room and decided to flirt with a passing smile and shyly interested looks. He was the kind of man who made your heart start pounding, caused the fluttering to begin in your stomach, and arousal to ignite rapidly with a single glance. So alluring I’d risen from my seat and circled around the desk to get closer, making sure my eyes weren’t playing tricks on me. They weren’t.

He
wore running shorts and a gray T-shirt that clung to his muscular frame. His hair was tussled in a sexy way. He was nicely built with broad shoulders and thick arms. His hips were slim, and I bet without the shirt he had the kind of abs I would want to worship with my tongue.

God
, what is wrong with me?
I’d been so lost in my physical analysis of him I hadn’t realized how pleased he was with my blatant show of appreciation. He smirked and lifted an eyebrow at me as if to say,
Have at it
.

“Can I help you?” I asked, crossing
my arms. My receptionist had scurried in behind the man with a nervous look on her face.

“I
’m sorry, Dr. Shaw. I tried to tell him he needed an appointment, but…” She held up her hands like he’d bum-rushed her in the lobby, and I completely understood. The man was tall, solidly built, with a stormy expression.

“
It’s okay, Angela. I’ll take care of it.” She looked at him, then back at me. “Angela…” I lifted my eyebrows, and she finally backed out of the room. He watched over his shoulder until the door clicked shut, then turned back toward me.

“What can I do for you?”

I walked back to my side of the desk to get some distance and forced myself to stop gawking at the man. He stalked forward, looked at me curiously, and asked, “You’re Avery?”

“
Dr. Avery Shaw.”

He
shook his head with this look on his face like I wasn’t what he’d expected.

“I need you to give me something to
sleep.”

“Something to
sleep?”

He leaned closer to me, his palms pressed to the shiny mahogany desktop.
“A prescription, pills—whatever it is you therapists give out.”

I uncrossed my arm
s and almost laughed at him. I knew his type: dominant, pushy, thinking he could command everyone in the room with a single word.

Wh
at the hell did he think I was? A street-side drug pusher?

“You can
’t sleep?”

“If I could fall sleep
, would I have asked you for something to get me there?”

“Well
, Mr…?”

“Pierce… Xander Peirce
.” He said it slowly, as though he were talking to a clueless child. He read the puzzled look on my face and smiled, then held out his hand. I stared at it and then looked back up at him. The eyes I thought were gray from across the room now appeared soft green up close. They looked almost transparent. The beauty of them capturing my gaze and holding it there. His intense stare engrossed me, and it felt like he looked right into me, reading my thoughts—attuned to his effect on me.

I reached out slowly, apprehensive of making contact with him.
His large hand enveloped mine. I tried to quickly pull it back, but he held firm. I met his gaze. A heated look passed between us. Then he smiled, just slightly, but enough to reveal a pair of sexy dimples. As if the man didn’t have enough in his arsenal.

This man was definitely
a player, a
fuck them and leave them—rip your panties and make you take it
type. I needed to duck for cover because interest lit up his eyes. I yanked back my hand and cleared my throat. If an ounce of what he made me feel showed in my tone, he’d have the upper hand.

“Well
, Mr. Pierce, if you want me to help you with your insomnia, you’ll need to make an appointment.”

He
shook his head, stood up straight, and crossed his arms. “I just need something to sleep. I don’t want to sit in your chair while you try to get me to tell you my deep, dark secrets.”

“
I specialize in psycho-therapy. Judging by the way you stormed in here, you’re not a patient man.” I leaned over the desk, copying the stance he’d just taken. “But if you want my help, you’re going to have to make an appointment like everyone else. You’ll come in here and sit in that chair, or that couch, or even the floor if it makes you comfortable. I’ll sit in my chair and I’ll dig so deep into the dark recesses of your brain that I’ll see what makes you laugh, cry, scream, and even what keeps you up at night. If your problem can’t be treated, then we’ll discuss drug therapy.” I stood up straight, smoothed a hand over my skirt, and sat in my chair.

“I don
’t cry. Or scream. Why are you making this so difficult, Ms. Shaw?”

“Dr. Shaw. And you
’re the one making this difficult, Mr. Pierce.” I rested my elbows on the desk and folded my hands. It was clear I had to take another approach with him.

“How
do you expect me to fight the demons that keep you up at night if I’m not armed for combat? I need to know everything about them before I can help you get rid of them.” I knew I wore a self-satisfied smile, but I didn’t care. I loved a good battle of wits, and just because Xander Pierce appeared to be king of his world didn’t mean I’d bow down to him in mine.

He
leaned over my desk again.
Does the man need to be near me?
Because in the five minutes he’d been here, he’d spent most of it hovering over my desk.

“You think you have me by the balls
, don’t you? That you have your fist squeezed tightly around my cock? I’m sure I can find plenty other doctors around here who will give me what I need.”

I rolled my eyes and chuckled.
He was trying to goad me with his abrasive vulgarity. Maybe he thought I’d give him what he wanted just so I wouldn’t have to deal with his suggestive behavior.

I stood and leaned in toward him, eye to eye, our noses a
mere inch apart. “I assure you, I am in no way interested in the
head
you have down there. But I can guarantee you the head up here…” I tapped my finger on his forehead and licked my lips as the temperature of the room increased. “I’ll suck it until it’s spewing out things you didn’t know were in there.”

His
eyes darkened with lust, and he lifted a brow in surprise. I only meant to throw his innuendos back at him, but the sexual energy in the room ratcheted up so high my pulse echoed rapidly in my ears. He tilted his head, and I feared he’d lean in and try to kiss me, even more frightened I’d let him. He smiled, then licked his lips. I followed the slow, seductive movement of his tongue, ached to trace it with mine. It took some effort, but I finally found the strength to step away. I removed my blazer because—let’s face it—I was in dire need of a cool-off. I threw it across my chair and turned back to him.

“I like you, Ms.
Shaw.”

“Dr.
Shaw.”

“
You sure you can’t squeeze me into your schedule today? How will you sleep in your bed tonight knowing I’ll be tossing and turning in mine?”

“The guilt trip won
’t work either.” I shook my head sadly.

“You know, Dr. Shaw, I usually just fuck my way to sleep. Maybe you could invite me to your bed. Kind of like… a sleep study of sorts.”
Hmm
… The devilish glint in his eyes told me sleep was the last thing he’d want to do in my bed.

“I wouldn
’t let you see my bed in
your
dreams.”

He
smiled. I couldn’t help but smile back as I admired the little dimple that appeared on his right cheek. “You win, Dr. Shaw… for now.” He turned and strode out of the room without looking back.

I
plopped down into my chair and let out a frustrated puff of air. Taking him on as a patient was clearly a mistake, especially with the attraction that sparked between us. In this small proximity, with that man, I had definitely felt my defenses weakening. The situation was disastrous. I was either screwed or I’d get screwed, and professionally, the latter wasn’t an option.

Xander

I don’t know why I let my mother talk me into this.
I thought I left this kind of thing behind in California.

The
only good thing about being home was if I kept a low enough profile, I’d start to feel like a regular human being again. Not some famous entity whose life was up for evaluation every single day.

Coming to this party wasn
’t only a favor to my mom, but my dad who passed away six weeks ago. In his years in this town, my dad had become a pillar. He went from prosecutor, to mayor, then senator in twenty years.

His
sudden heart attack left a burden on the state to replace him. This gala was an annual thing he started ten years ago when he’d become senator. Mom wasn’t ready to make a public appearance, and with me being the
in control
son, it was up to me to represent the family and, most importantly, my dad.

As I stood in the crowd among all the people my dad used to rub shoulders with
, his voice rang in my ears.
Xander, you can’t keep hiding. I shouldn’t have to always jump on a plane to come see you. When are you coming home?

I shook my head to clear the memory. Jonathan Pierce had been a force to be reckoned with. He was a staunch opponent, a devoted husband
, and a more amazing father than I deserved. Staying in this town was my way of atoning for disappearing for so long.

“
Your mom misses you,”
he’d said during one of his weekly calls. Silence. I was always quiet when he started in on me about coming home.

“
Xander?”

I sighed.
“Yeah, Dad?”

“
I’ve fixed everything for you. Haven’t I always? What else do you need me to do to get you to come home? How much more do I need to sacrifice for you to show up? Even if it’s just in passing.”

Rewind time and make it so I
’d never been such a selfish idiot.

They say a
parent’s love is the greatest gift. For me, it was a gift and a curse. They poured their soul into me. Loved me and gave me everything I desired, and I felt invincible. Like anything I wanted in the world could be mine. Spoiled rotten is what it was, and it fit because I still couldn’t figure out how to get rid of the dark pit inside me that made me want to take what I wanted and do anything to keep it.

The one thing I inherited from my parents had been
their capacity of love. They loved big. But me? I loved hard. Dangerous love that brought out a rotten selfishness in me, a dark urge to preserve the one thing I became centered on.

“
Love drives us to make mistakes, Xander. When will you start forgiving yourself?”

Fuck
, I need a drink.

Sobriety wasn
’t working for me tonight. It was as if my father’s ghost was looming in the room, whispering in my ear. He was my second-biggest regret in life and that just added to the dark burden I carried around.

Staying
in this town wasn’t easy, but it was my penance, my apology to my dad for not being brave enough to stand up to my ghosts and come home when he’d wanted me to.

“
Xan,”
my dad’s voice echoed in my head.

“Yeah, D
ad,” I whispered out loud to a memory, not caring who saw me talking to myself.
Fuck it.
I was already going to see a psychiatrist; I might as well go all in with the insanity.

“
Things will change for you. When you find what you’ve been searching for, you won’t have to fight so hard to keep it.”

“
I’m not looking for anything, Dad,” I’d answered.

“
You’ve always been looking. Mom and I always knew your love was too big for you. When you loved someone, you loved completely, with no shields. I know you shut that part of you down a long time ago, but one day you’ll open yourself up again.”

And be pathetic again? I didn
’t think so.

“
You’ve just got to trust in yourself, Xan. Trust that you’re enough. You deserve to move on, son. Deserve to be loved. You know we still love you despite everything, right?”
The golf-size ball of emotions stuck in my throat kept me from responding. I nodded my head, though he couldn’t see me.

“
You’ll find someone to love you despite it all, too.”

I
’d hung up the phone that night without uttering another word. No,
I love you, Dad, thanks, Dad,
or a simple
bye, Dad
. If I knew then that would be the last time I’d ever hear his voice, I’d have told him all those things. I’d have purged the hurt in me to the one person left on this earth who would’ve understood.

I
walked over to the bar and ordered a glass of water because—let’s face it—I was already mumbling to ghosts. I didn’t need alcohol to induce hallucinations. I decided to step outside for some air because it felt like my dad’s memory was suffocating me in that room. I stood in a small alcove along the garden, where I thought no one would see me. After twenty minutes and two people
accidentally
running into me and engaging in conversation, I knew I’d be making an early exit.

As I stepped back into the hall
, a flash of red hair caught my attention. Maybe my mind was still playing tricks on me, but if Dr. Shaw was really here, I had to find her. Suddenly, I was in less of a hurry to go home and a bit fixated on finding her.