Insomnia (25 page)

“I’ll be back in a bit,” Addie whispered, then gave me a little wave and walked out the door. My chest ached. I didn’t know if things would ever be the same between us. I knew that it was probably for the best if it ended now, with Finn and everything, but I didn’t care. Addie made me happy when no one else could. She made me feel like I could be as good as she thought I was.

My mom kept circling around my bed, tucking in blankets and fluffing my pillow.

“I’m fine, Mom.”

“I know, but this is crazy. I mean, Jeff Sparks? I can’t believe it.” She hugged me again. This time she didn’t seem to want to release me, but the position I was in made my broken arm ache painfully.

“Yeah, it’s definitely crazy.” I pulled away until she let go and sat down next to the bed. “Did you talk to Finn or his parents?”

She nodded but didn’t say anything; her eyes were locked on my cast. When I cleared my throat, she jumped.

“I’m fine.” I watched her until she raised her eyes to mine and smiled.

“Sometimes I forget how much you’re like your dad.”

Now it was my turn to stare. She never mentioned Dad—
ever. I’d tried to get her to talk about him before, but she always said it didn’t matter.

It took me a second to respond. I was afraid that if I asked the wrong question she’d decide she didn’t want to talk about him. “How much?”

“Quite a bit, actually. You look like him, but lately, you’re acting like him. More worried about everyone else than yourself.”

“Dad was like that?” I asked, surprised. It seemed to contradict almost everything I knew about him.

She laughed and squeezed my arm. “Leaving wasn’t the only thing he ever did, you know.”

I nodded. I’d been prepared to leave for my own reasons this morning, and none of them were because I was unhappy. Maybe he had his own reasons for leaving, reasons I’d never been able to understand before.

“I guess him leaving is the main thing I remember.”

A slight frown crossed her face. “Maybe I’ll have to do something about that.”

Mrs. Patrick opened the door. “Can I come in?”

“Of course.” Mom stood and gave her a hug. Finn and Addie’s mom had obviously been crying, but her mouth curled up in a smile.

“I wanted to say thank you.” She walked to my bed and gave me a gentle hug. “Thank you for getting Finn out of that school. Mia told us what you did.”

“You’re welcome.” I ducked my head a little. “I would never have left him there.”

“We know. That’s what makes you who you are.” She rubbed my head and smiled. “Finn wants to see you. Do you feel up to it?”

“Always.” My body disagreed, but I didn’t care. When I got to my feet, the room spun a little and the nurse brought in a wheelchair even though her expression dripped disapproval.

We passed Mr. Patrick in the hall. Mom and Mrs. Patrick stopped to talk to him and Addie stepped over to push my wheelchair.

“Finn is fine. Just remember that when you look at him,” she whispered by my ear. “He’s kind of—”

Addie froze just short of Finn’s doorway, and a movement at the end of the hall caught my eye. It was Blind Skull. Just walking toward us like we were old friends. I blinked, but he didn’t disappear or even fade into the shadows like he usually did. I let out the breath I was holding and looked up at Addie.

“You, uh … see him, right?”

Addie nodded but didn’t look at me. When he came to a stop beside us, her brow furrowed. “Where do I know you from?” she asked.

“That doesn’t matter now.” He turned his eyes on me. “I need to talk to you, but not here. It’s not safe here.”

“You’ve been following Mia.” I forced myself to keep my voice level. Now that I knew he was real, I wanted answers. “Tell me why.”

“No.” He bent down a little closer and met my eye. “I’ve been following
you
.”

“Me?” I glanced up at Addie, but she was still staring at Blind Skull with confusion. “Why? Who are you?”

“I was hoping we were wrong and I could leave you to your business, but there’s no use denying it anymore.” He glanced up and I saw Mom peering past the Patricks, watching us with a strange expression on her face. “Name is Jack. Your dad sent me to talk to you, to teach you.”

I felt like I had the wind knocked out of me. “M—my dad?”

“Like I said, this isn’t a safe place to talk. I’ll be in touch. It seems impossible for you, but at least try to stay out of trouble for a few weeks.” Jack pivoted and walked quickly away. He disappeared around a corner just as Mom patted Mrs. Patrick on the shoulder and started toward us. Her brow was furrowed and she looked puzzled, but then the nurse came up with forms for her to sign.

I released the breath I’d been holding and glanced up at Addie.

Her lips squeezed in a tight line, but she shook her head. “Tomorrow. We’ll worry about it tomorrow. No more today.” Her eyes met mine and I felt the vibrations of her shaking hands through the back of my wheelchair. “Okay, Parker?”

“Yeah, okay.” There were no answers today. Not now. Right now we just needed to see Finn.

Addie pushed my chair into his room and I forced myself to breathe normally. Finn was beyond pale. He was practically invisible against his stark white sheets; only his freckles stood out dark in contrast. He looked like some kind of polka-dot person, and it made my stomach turn. Addie walked out and shut the door behind her.

Finn smiled as I sat forward, and it transformed him. I felt better. He was weak, but still the same old Finn.

“Hey, man. I was going to lie, but I can’t.” I shook my head. “You look terrible.”

“I know.” He nodded with a grin. “I did it on purpose.”

I blinked. “You what?”

“I figured if I looked bad enough to make you feel guilty, then you’d stop excluding me from all the excitement.” He wheezed and clutched his side.

“Mission accomplished. The excitement is all yours.” I smiled, then winced. “Now stop looking like crap so I can go back to ignoring you.”

“Sounds good to me.” He drew a ragged breath. “It’s not worth feeling like this.”

I laughed, and we sat there for a minute.

“So, I hear you pulled some kind of crazy hero crap back there.” He only seemed to be able to keep one eye open at a time, but he was really trying.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, running out of a burning building, pulling two injured people out to safety, with a broken arm and all.” Finn’s chuckle turned into a weird snore/snort thing before he opened both eyes wide and continued. “Promise me something.”

“What?”

He smiled in a totally drug-induced, dreamy way. “Make sure someone totally ripped plays me in the movie.”

I laughed. “Deal. You get out of the hospital and I’ll let you pick the whole cast.”

“Count on it,” Finn mumbled. His eyes fluttered closed and he snored almost immediately. For some reason, his drug-induced narcolepsy made me feel so much better. Finn wouldn’t be Finn if he didn’t snore.

I wasn’t sure what would happen with Addie, but we’d figure it out. And with Mia’s help, I wouldn’t be dying anytime soon. There were so many things I didn’t understand, but I had time now. I would make Jack answer all my questions. I would find out about Dad—why he left, if he was a Watcher too, and every other damn thing I’d been waiting to ask for nearly five years.

“Everything is going to be okay,” I said aloud to the silent room. I wanted the reassurance to convince myself, because even now, I could feel him.

Darkness sat in the stillness of my mind, watching for the perfect moment. The moment when he could voice his warped opinion like an oar dipped in the river of my decisions, awaiting the time when he could use my weakness and the tide to throw me off course.

But I was strong, and he was weak. I knew that now. As long as I kept getting rest by watching Mia’s dreams, my future would be what I wanted it to be.

Acknowledgments

Without the assistance of some incredible people,
Insomnia
never would have made it from the realm of dreams into reality. First, to my incredible Agent Mafioso, Kathleen Rushall—you always believed in me and this book even when I wasn’t sure anyone should. Thank you, Kat! To Taryn, Danielle, Brandy, and Kalah—thank you for helping the world find me. To my editor, Brian Farrey-Latz, thank you for wanting to help bring this book to life. To you and the rest of the team at Flux, especially Mallory and Sandy, thank you for making every step easier. Special thanks to Heyne Fliegt and Newton Compton for wanting to bring Parker’s story to new places.

A special thank you and I love you to Ande, Cameron, and Parker. Thank you for putting up with my laptop following me around the house. Your hugs and kisses give me the strength to keep going every day. To my mom, Wendy Chipp, and my sister, Krista Poll—thank you for Girls’ Cruises, always being willing to read, and helping me get so much better. To Grandma and Grandpa V—we love and miss you every day. Thank you to all the readers in the world, especially Carrie, Stephanie, Faith, Chantele, Nichole, and Nick. And thanks to Kamakea Kauwe for being the best target audience/neighbor ever!

To some freaking amazing authors: James Dashner, Jennifer Bosworth, Elana Johnson, and Carrie Harris—thank you for taking pity on a lowly debut and sharing your kind words. You guys rock. Lastly, thank you to my amazing friends in the writing community (both in Utah and online) who help me celebrate and identify both my weaknesses and strengths. To my girls: Kasie West, Candice Kennington, Natalie Whipple, Renee Collins, Michelle Argyle, Sara Raasch, and L.T. Elliot—I know I wouldn’t be the writer I am today without you. Thank you!

© Michelle Davidson Argyle

About the Author

J. R. Johansson has two amazing sons and a wonderful husband who keep her busy and happy. In fact, but for the company of her kitten, she’s pretty much drowning in testosterone. They live in a valley between huge mountains and a beautiful lake where the sun shines more than three hundred days per year. She loves writing, playing board games, and sitting in her hot tub. Her dream is that someday she can do all three at the same time.

Visit the author online at www.jrjohansson.com.