Insipid (12 page)

“No, I’m in Hong Kong with my friend Olivia.”

“Oh wow. Hey, listen. I’ve been wanting to call you but wasn’t sure whether or not I should, plus I’ve been so swamped with working on some stuff over here. I’m actually out right now, can I call you later?” There’s noise in the background. It almost sounds like voices on a speaker or microphone.

“Sure, yes.”

“Okay. I’ll call later. Promise.”

I hang up the phone and walk back towards my friend. “He’s busy.”

“Did he say he would call back?”

“Yes, but—”

“Jade. Stop. He’ll call back. In the meantime, let’s pay for our stuff and look for a place to chill for a while.”

We walk around for another hour, checking out the sidewalk shops, leisurely waltzing in and out of the tiny stalls, aimlessly searching for items to purchase. I absentmindedly pick up a few more scarves to add to my collection.

“How many of those black and white things can you have?” Olivia derides me as she holds a bright orange one up to my face. “Here, why not this one?”

“Get that ugly thing away from me. It’s blinding my eyes!” I squeal, turning away and walking further down the alley towards the next row of stores.

“Finally!” Olivia exclaims as she points excitedly across the street at a Starbucks. “Now we can have our coffee break!”

We find the perfect two-top directly in front of the store window, she with her venti latte and me with my grande caramel mocha.

“What’s happened to you?” Olivia asks with a genuine look of confusion on her face.

“I don’t know. I’m just all over the place, I guess.” I stare out the window, afraid to catch her gaze. “I think I’m officially infatuated.”

“Well, get your head out of your ass! You’re a smart, beautiful, confident, high level executive. You’re badass, don’t forget that. Why are you allowing some 33-year-old dude to affect you like this? You’re going all puppy over him, and you’re not a puppy, Jade. You’re a tiger. Or in this case, a cougar.” She shakes her head abruptly in aggravation. “Or whatever animal you want with sharp claws. What is it you really want from him?”

“I don’t want anything. Well, not in that way, I guess. I miss our conversations, his messages, his texts. I miss him.”

“What exactly do you miss about him? You haven’t really told him much about yourself and from the looks of it, you’ve been sustaining yourself through phone conversations and messages.”

Two of my closest friends in the world just refuse to leave this alone. I’m beginning to think that Leya and Olivia have secret conversations about me. I’m comforted by the fact that they don’t really know each other; but I realize that these two polar opposites seem to have the same opinion about him. That says something.

“You know me, Liv. I’ve been traveling with men all throughout my career. Not once have I ever been attracted to anyone. Not once have I mixed business with pleasure. It was instant with him. As soon as I saw him standing by the corner of that waiting room, I fell. He’s so hot.”

“Aha!” She chuckles. “I think that’s it. You’re lusting after this guy. Why don’t you get him out of your system? Fuck it out of him, Jade. Our being here lays out the right opportunity. Call him again. Invite him to see you. I’ll go away for a night if you need me to. It’s a two hour flight away. Either you fly there or have him fly here. I’ll fully support what you decide to do, because the way you are now is going to ruin you, your career, and your self-confidence.”

I remain silent, seriously planning the scenario that she had just presented in my head.

My phone rings.

“Hi,” I answer nervously, walking away from the table.

“Take your time,” Olivia mouths to me as she settles into her seat.

“Hi. Sorry about that. I was at Leigh’s house. He was making me listen to his new speakers. How are you enjoying your vacation?”

“We’re shopping.” I laugh. “I just wanted to say hi. I haven’t heard from you for a while. How’ve you been?”

“Well, thank you. And you?”

“Great, thanks.”

“Jade—”

“Lucas, is everything all right with us? Are you upset with me? I miss you.”

“I miss you too so much. I just wanted to give us both some space since we’re in the final stages of the merger. After seeing you in Chicago, I thought it best to wait until the issue was completely closed.”

“Oh, that. Somehow you keep on going back to that.” I catch myself as I raise my voice.

“I’m trying to protect you, Jade. You also told me to leave you alone.”

“I’m a big girl. I don’t need protecting. What I need is…” I stop to change my approach. “So, I have an idea,” I say in a hushed tone, attempting to sound seductive. “Why don’t you come here to see me? We can spend a few days together.”

“Ugh!” He sighs loudly. “You won’t believe this!”

“You’re right. I won’t.”
Why do I even bother?

“I leave for Costa Rica tomorrow! Another business deal we’re trying to close.”

I feel faint. And humiliated. Again. “Oh, that’s okay. Not a problem at all. I just wanted to throw it out there. Well, listen. We’re in the middle of a line at Starbucks and I have to pick up my order, so I’ll let you go. Talk soon.”

“Wait, Jade. Can I call you later to catch up?”

“Sure. Later.”

Olivia surmises what transpired from the look on my face as I return to our table and saddle up next to her. “At least he called back. It means something that he called back.”

“I guess. But he won’t see me.”

She opens her mouth to say something but doesn’t. Instead, she sighs resignedly. “I was going to defend that fact that he’s working and that trip was probably all planned out weeks in advance, but I decided that regardless of his reasons, he’s not worth it. Your second booty call and he declines it. I’m so sorry, Jade.” She leans in to try to pull me close, but I put my hands out in front of me to signal that I’m fine. She wraps her arm around me, forcing me to lean my head on her shoulder, whispering soberly while holding me tight. “I’m sorry. It’s going to be okay.”

“I’ll be good. Let’s just have fun for the next few days. Have you noticed how these Asian and European men look so different? Their clothes just look so good on them, so sexy and fitted, unlike the daddy jeans people wear in the States.”

“It’s because we’re in the highest fashion district in this city! What else would you expect?”

We stand up from our seats and quickly make our way back into the streets. I loop my arm in hers as we step back out into the crowd, ready to take on the shopping universe one day at a time.

I FIND MYSELF
smack in the middle of the wrath of winter in Chicago. There is a phenomenon called the Polar Vortex sweeping the Midwest and East Coast, blanketing us with negative temperatures coupled with a few feet of snow. Schools are called off in most areas and everyone is walking around in puffy coats and ski masks. What a perfect analogy for the state of my heart. Cold, empty and barren once again. And like the millions of people entrapped in this dark season, I accept the fact that it’s a part of my life that’s here to stay.

“Welcome back!” Noelle greets me exuberantly as I walk through the reception area two weeks after my trip. “You look rested and ready to take on the world.”

“I probably should have taken one more vacation day to recover from my vacation,” I say as I take a pile of pink message slips from her desk. “How’ve you been, Noey?”

“Good. It was relatively quiet around here while you were gone. That’s good, right?”

“Yeah. Quiet is great. What’s on the docket for today?” I fidget around for my office keys while I wait for her to walk me through the day’s schedule. My life is one big Franklin Planner. Bookmarks, dates, tasks and tick marks.

“Nothing except a meeting with Warren as soon as you can. He just arrived in the office and wants to see you after you’ve settled in.”

“Okay. Please let him know that I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

I shut the door to my office and get started on my routine once again. I smile at the reflection I see in the glass. The trip to Hong Kong was a success in terms of clearing my head. Olivia and I spent two weeks away from family and friends, just the two of us. My dad wasn’t too happy about my absence at their annual Christmas party, but my mom worked her magic and convinced him that this was a much needed break for me. It took me about two days to wipe my mind clear of Lucas and the fact that he wasn’t willing to see me while I was there. It forced the facts upon me – until that point, I guess I was secretly harboring a hope that he would fight for me, that he would ignore what I said and try to patch things up between us. So in essence, this time it felt like the official end of the line for us. My heart was hurting and I cried for an entire day. But I know that this is for the best. The shopping and the eating and the constant happy banter between Olivia and me… it was all wonderfully therapeutic.

Sometimes, the head just needs to win over the idiocies of the heart.

The door to Warren’s office is wide open, but he looks like he’s in the middle of crafting a very intense email. He hunches his shoulders as he angrily bangs on the keys in front of him. I knock softly on the open door to try to get his attention. He turns around, perturbed at the interruption, but his expression changes as soon as he sees that it’s me.

“Jade. Come in.” He stands up and walks towards one of the leather couches in the middle of his office. I take a seat directly across from him. “How are you? How was your vacation?”

“It was great, thank you. It was so nice to be in warmer weather for a few days,” I smile as I cross my legs and lean back. He stands up again to shut the door for some privacy. He has a serious look on his face that shows me this meeting won’t be a good one.

“I wanted to speak to you about something that happened while you were away.”

“Oh?” I say. “What is it?”

“For some unknown reason, Mr. Martinez confided in someone about seeing you while he was here in Chicago a few weeks ago. It seems that you had dinner with him?”

I try to keep a straight face despite the lump in my throat. Do I deny this? My mind flashes to the texts and messages. And pictures. Yes, pictures. Don’t ask me why. I couldn’t help myself. Even after he told me that he couldn’t fly over to see me, I maintained some contact with him and sent him pictures of our time there on impulse.

He betrayed me. Why would he tell anyone this?

“Yes, I did see him while he was here. We did have dinner.”

“Just once? Did the invitation come from him?”

“What does it matter, Warren? What’s going on?”

“Well, word got around and now the partners are concerned about our fraternization rules. I’m sorry to have to ask this, but is anything going on between the two of you?”

I let out a forced laugh and roll my eyes. “No! We’re just friends. The final report was done by then.”

“Did you discuss the merger at all?”

“No. Not at all. We never talked about anything that had to do with work. Just family, ourselves. As friends, nothing more.” I feel like I child, lying through the skin of my teeth. While what I’m telling him is true, I know about my feelings, and that alone negates everything I’m saying.

“Okay. Do you have any proof that he reached out to you first?”

“Warren! Here we go again! I know for a fact that it’s no one’s business whom I make friends with when I’m outside of work.” God, please let this be a true statement. “Lucas and I worked many long hours together. It was inevitable that we would become friends.” I can’t look directly at him, so I stare at the top of his head instead.

“Jade, I’m going to manage through this and respond to all the speculation out there, but I need you to promise not to have any contact with him going forward, at least until this deal is complete.” His looks at me with gentle, understanding eyes. “I should have known better than to place you in this situation. You’re an extremely attractive woman. The men in this office know this and are very protective of you. I probably shouldn’t have exposed you to someone like that, given the emotional state that you’re in.”

“Someone like what?” I ask, puzzled and utterly irritated.

“A predator. That’s what he is. I heard the rumblings around the office by the women who were falling all over him. He’s the love ‘em and leave ‘em type; there are newspaper articles going on about him and various women.”

“His personal life is none of our business.”

“It is when it affects one of our own. Listen, Jade, will you promise not to communicate with him going forward?”

I’ve sunk to the lowest level I possibly can. “I promise.”

“Jade,” Warren leans in towards me and reaches out for my hands, his face masked in apprehension, “I trust you implicitly. I will always have your back. I’m sure that this is all a misunderstanding. You’ve always acted with integrity, putting our company first in everything you’ve ever done. This trust hasn’t wavered because of what I’ve heard, so please don’t let this be something else for you to worry about. As far as I’m concerned, this conversation is done. Let me smooth things over. Leave it to me. You take care of you. Recover, recoup. We’re here for you.”