Innocent Lies (6 page)

“You.” He held my gaze. I wanted to
look away, but my body sensed his unspoken command and was
unwilling to deny him. “I know I’m being too forward. But
beautiful, I know what I’m feeling. I won’t play games and risk
losing you again.”

What more was left to say? He said
what so heavily hung over us. He wanted me, and I surely wanted
him. I took a bite out of my muffin. He matched the bite with one
of his own. We smiled. He started to copy each bite of muffin and
sip of coffee I took. I was laughing and at total peace when a
redhead came up and placed her hand on his shoulder. Ethan didn’t
look up at her, but held up a finger signaling he would be right
back. He followed her outside. I had a clear view of them out the
glass door. He nodded his head numerous times and then hugged her.
My heart stopped for a second. I snuck out the back
door.

I thought nothing would ever hurt
me again after what those animals did to me. I was wrong. Hearing
him tell me the very words I prayed I would hear hundreds of times
over the last year, then seeing him walking away and into her arms
cut me. For the life of me, I never understood the irrational
feelings I had for Ethan. How he could walk into my life and make
me forget everything but him. Heartsick, I wrapped my arms around
me trying to hold off the cold creeping in my heart. I already
missed him. Ethan had been playful and charming. It was the first
time in months that I could remember laughing. My eyes stung with
tears, a few even escaped and fell down my cheeks. I kicked a
lamppost, unable to get the image of Ethan in her arms out of my
head. I felt physically sick thinking about the long line of women
he probably used the same lines on that I so easily
believed.

I felt a hand on my arm and was
suddenly being hauled against a body. It was Ethan. He embraced me.
The muscles in his stomach twitched along my back. “Dylan, thank
Heaven. When I saw you gone . . .”

“Why do you care?”
I tried pulling away, but his grip got tighter. “You really do have
a thing for gingers.” My body stopped wiggling as his hand clasped
my arm.

“The only ginger I give a damn
about is you. You’re the only girl I care about period.” He harshly
kissed my cheek and whispered. “That was my brother’s
girl.”

I melted into him, not able to
take the pain in his voice. No matter how much he had hurt me by
leaving the year before, I couldn’t stand the thought of doing it
to him. “A simple, hey this is Dylan would suffice.”

“Oh, no, Privy, I
don’t want her anywhere near you. I sure didn’t want her knowing
your name.” He shivered and placed his face in the nook of my neck.
Pressing a kiss against my skin, he inhaled deeply.

He didn’t even know about my past
and could still sense I was not the girl you brought home to
mommy.

“It’s not you,
it’s them. I hope they never get the privilege of ever meeting you.
Come home with me.” He lit a cigarette and blew out a thick pillow
of smoke. His tension was palpable.

I gasped and stared in horror when
I saw him climb into a rusted out 1967 Chevrolet Camaro. Saying it
was dilapidate would have been kind to the car. Ethan was not the
type of guy I envisioned driving a piece of crap. He had to sense
my hesitation because he popped out of the car and smiled, a slow,
heart-stopping smile, at me over the hood. Tapping the roof, he
said, “Hey, I love this thing. It’s a classic.”

Shaking my head, I smiled and
pulled a little too hard on the loose door handle causing me to
fall flat on my back.

Ethan was at my side instantly.
“Privy, are you okay?”

I nodded. My pride was a little
bruised, but my behind was intact. He jerked my hand and had me in
his arms.

“Glad you didn’t hurt the car. It’s
the love of my life.” He laughed as I punched him in the arm.
“What? It’s the only girl in my life who doesn’t gripe.”

“I haven’t griped
at you, yet, but don’t push your luck. I could start any moment.” I
bit my lip, trying to keep from smiling. It didn’t help. Around
him, my lips were glued into an everlasting smile.

“So you agree,
you’re in my life?” He set his chin on the crown of my head and
grew somber. “Give me hell, babe. I want all you can dish out.
Shit, I want you with me, on your best days, on your not-so-best
days, even when you give me hell.”

I pushed my hands under the back
of his shirt and caressed the softness of his skin. I never felt
more whole than I did when I was with him. His touch, his smell,
healed me. I laid my head on his chest and savored the feel of his
hand in my hair.

Ethan drove for hours around town
listening to me point out and explain every aspect of my life in
Knoxville. As much interest as he showed in my life there, to my
relief, he never once asked me about my life as a child.

“Ready to see a little of my
world?” Ethan asked as he passed by his office building. He pointed
to the top floor and the third window from the corner. “That is my
office right there.”

All the memories I had of my trips
to the district attorney’s office came flooding back. I clutched
Ethan’s hand, trying not to freak out with one of my many
flashbacks.

“Ethan, I thought
you were taking me to your house.” I said, wanting to move on from
our trip down memory lane.

Ethan Asher’s home
was in West Hills the nicest neighborhood in Knox County. His house
oozed of masculinity and beauty, like Ethan himself. It was evident
upon walking into the home that Ethan was a guy with a whole heap
of style. He had filled his main living room with fun, modern
furniture, and of course, hung on three walls were stunning
paintings of vintage cars. The fourth wall stood in contrast,
covered in reclaimed barn wood and a soaring stone fireplace. Over
the fireplace was a painting of
Paul Chenavard’s Dante's Inferno
.

I picked up the lone picture in
the room. It was of a beautiful older lady; she had blond hair. I
couldn’t see her eyes because of her dark sunglasses. I didn’t
trust people who hid their eyes. Ethan pressed his lips onto my
neck. “My mom, the only other lady who’s been here. Even my
housekeeper is male.”

He took the frame
from my grasp and set it on the table. I turned. He held me close
to him, his scent wrapped around me. Something suddenly shifted in
the air between us.
Kiss
me.
I couldn’t move as I
watched him wet his full lips with the tip of his tongue. His eyes
closed briefly. He opened them with a shake of his head. He
steadied my balance and released me from his embrace.
‘
No’,
I quietly screamed as he stepped back. “Privy, I
don’t let people in my life. I can’t. I’m not going to kiss you.
Not until you know what you’re kissing.”

I wanted a kiss, more
than I ever wanted one. I’d made it pretty obvious too, and he told
me no.
He has to like me a
little. I am here in his home.
I didn’t know whether or not to totally believe him, but to
think I was the only woman he had ever opened his home to, affected
me in ways that even I couldn’t understand. I needed to step away
for a moment. His stare was burning through me, and his
unbelievable smell flooded my nostrils. “I need to use the little
girl’s room and call to let Deacon know I won’t be home till
late.”

“The bathroom is this way.” He took
my hand, leading me down a long hallway, bypassing the bedrooms to
the hall bath. “I’ll be in the den.”

I didn’t need the facilities. I
sat on the edge of the tub and called Sarah. I gave her a brief
run-down of the morning’s events. She warned me to be
careful.

“There is
something about him, Dylan. I don’t fully trust him, but man is he
hot.” She tried to whistle, but only managed to blow hot
air.

“Bye, call Deacon, I was supposed
to fry a chicken for supper. Tell her, I made better
plans.”

I found Ethan lying
back on the couch. He patted the spot beside him and without
thinking I joined him. He wrapped his arms around me and snuggled.
The painting of Dante’s Inferno was rolled back, and in its place
was a flat screen TV. We watched reruns of
Andy Griffith and Sanford and Son
. Other than when he had a pizza delivered, we
never moved. He told me about his job and college days. As if he
knew I wasn’t ready to talk, he never asked one question about me.
We had been lying there for hours when I nuzzled my face onto his
chest and felt him cover me with a quilt hanging on the back of the
couch.

Sunday, September 21,
2014

My head throbbed. The
last morsel to have touched my lips was the chicken nuggets they
served at school on Friday. My stomach rumbled in anticipation at
whatever they had planned for breakfast the following day. I was so
hungry at that point, I could have eaten slop. Louie, my mom’s
newest live-in, was talking to a group of guys.
Damn Louie, can you be any louder.

I covered my ears and hummed to
drown out the moans and screams as mom performed her weekly ritual;
entertaining a long line of men, in order to obtain hers and the
ass’s drugs. I was used to it by then, and they mostly left me
alone. That was why I bounced straight up in one frantic motion
when I saw the light from the door being flung open.

I was disoriented as to where I
was until Ethan’s arms tightened around me. His skin steamed under
my touch. I was unsure if I was even awake and was unwilling to
move.

“Privy, what’s wrong?”

I shook my head. The nightmares
had vanished for a while, but were returning with a
vengeance.

“Beautiful, talk
to me?” He squeezed me to his chest and tangled his fingers through
my hair.

“It’s nothing. It doesn’t matter.”
I couldn’t tell him about the dreams. I couldn’t stand the thought
of telling anyone. I’d fled to the other side of the state to avoid
talking.

“It matters. You
matter.” He said, hoarsely and kissed my hair.

I snuggled onto his chest, not
used to affection. For once in my life, I found a place where all
the broken pieces finally fit together. I felt whole in his
arms.

“What time is it?”
I looked up and even in the darkness the gold flecks in his eyes
sparkled. I was impelled to reach up and touch his face. No one had
ever looked at me like that before. I wasn’t even sure what the
look was, but it made my heart quiver.

He picked up a watch off the sofa
table. “One, sleep love.”

Love, he called me
love.
He couldn’t love me. He
wouldn’t even touch me when he learned the truth.

“Ethan, I’m not
good. Back home I was viewed as trash.” I hid my face against his
chest. I had never told anyone my story, not even Sarah knew it
all. I had been lucky, the few people I had ran into here, from
back home, felt sorry enough for me to keep quiet. His fingers
fluttered across my neck, his hand grasped my chin, and forced me
to look at him.

“Don’t ever say that again. What
you feel for me has nothing on what I feel for you.” His head
shook, hard “Just don’t.”

I closed my eyes, to avoid the
flames coming from his. “I know I’m not trash, but I’m not a girl
to be proud of. My mom is in prison.”

“So?”

“My daddy died
when I was five. I don’t remember a lot from then. I can remember
the cops knocking on the door and seeing my mom come totally apart.
We were happy. My mom was a stay-at-home mom. My daddy always
brought me candy on Friday.” I felt myself choke up. It had been
years since I talked about my dad. My mom would never allow me to
talk about him around her, and then my life got in such a state it
took all my energy simply to stay sane. I didn’t have time to
reminisce. I was comforted by the way Ethan softly stroked my hair.
He didn’t speak, but I sensed he was with me in every way. He
cared. “I was a daddy’s girl, his little princess. He told me I was
born for a special prince. He loved to tell tales about kingdoms
and bands of knights. I always fell asleep to his
storytelling.”

He wiped away a tear with the pad
of his thumb. “I want to make you my princess.”

“Why me? E, you can have any girl
you want.”

“I don’t want any girl. I want you
and only you.”

You won’t when you
learn the whole truth. Until then I will relish being in your
arms.
I rested my head on his
chest and heard his heart. It was pounding harder than mine was. I
did affect him. It was easy to tell in the way he held me. All
hesitation and doubt was gone.