Innocence (22 page)

“Lisa?” Ruth approached her side, her tone wary but determined. “Who are ye really? Ye ain’t never worked in no inn, though I can’t for the life of me think ’ow ye learned to cook like ye do. Yer a
lady
, ain’t ye?”

Fear at the thought of exposure robbed Lisa of breath.

“Ye don’t have to be afraid,” Ruth added. “I’m yer friend. I’d never do ought to ’urt ye.”

Swallowing hard, Lisa weighed the risks of telling her the truth. Being able to confide in someone would be such a relief.

“I’m Lisa, Lisa Brown,” she said before admitting. “But I wasn’t always.”
 

“Who were ye before then?”
 

“I was Miss Anneliese Barlow, daughter of Sir George Barlow, friend to the Duke of Worthington.” Lisa’s lower lip trembled at the declaration she doubted she would ever make again.

“Heavens!” Ruth stepped back. “Ye be Lord Copeland’s runaway bride. The papers say ye murdered yer own father.”

“But I didn’t. Lord Copeland made dreadful threats against me then
shot
Papa even though he was unarmed. Before he died, my father told me to come to Worthington Hall and beg the Duke for protection.”

“But ye were too late ’cos His Grace had left for his ’oneymoon.” Ruth’s eyes widened. “And ye found Lord Marsden instead, or rather, Lord Marsden found ye.”

“Precisely.”
 

“But why didn’t ye tell Lord Marsden who ye are?” Ruth asked before her expression transformed to one of alarm. “Ye couldn’t! Lord Copeland’s a friend of Lord Marsden’s, and ’e’d ’ave ’anded ye over in a ’eartbeat. The toffs always take care of each other.”
 

Lisa’s heart sank at Ruth’s matter-of-fact declaration even though she had reached the same conclusion.
 

“Ye did the right thing keeping quiet. But what a mess yer in now. How will ye ever get it sorted?”

“I won’t. I
can’t
. Not now. I had hoped to stay hidden, working as a servant until His Grace returned when I planned on asking for his help. But now I must remain Lisa Brown forever.”

“Is there no way ter get yer old life back?”
 

“Not now that Nathaniel and I . . . that we . . .”
 

Ruth’s lips pursed. “Bleedin’ toffs who can’t keep it in their breeches.”
 

Lisa smiled ruefully. “In Lord Marsden’s defence, I could have acted a little more circumspectly. But I’m afraid I let my desire
to be with him overwhelm my good sense . . . and my conscience.”

Ruth surprised Lisa by giggling. “I wouldn’t judge yerself too ’arshly. I don’t think there’d be too many females who could resist Lord Marsden once ’e was set on wooing ’em, regardless of their station. He was awfully determined to ’ave ye, but can ye imagine the fuss there’ll be if ’e ever finds out who ye really are?”

Clutching Ruth’s forearms, Lisa gave them a gentle shake.

“He must
never
know! You must never tell a soul, Ruth. My very life depends upon it, not just Nathaniel’s good opinion of me.”

“I think ye be right, Lisa. The nobility don’t like to be made fools of. Lord Copeland’s not to be trusted though Lord Marsden might surprise ye. He does seem to care for ye.”

He
adored
her, or so he had said, but Lisa was not so naïve as to believe his feelings would survive the uncovering of her deception.
 

Awaiting Nathaniel’s arrival, she filled the time after her solitary supper with some sketching. Ruth was worried about leaving her alone, but Lisa insisted the girl should take the remainder of the evening off. All the girl had ever known was a life of long hours and hard work, that’s when she wasn’t being shockingly abused. While there was nothing Lisa could do to make up for the pain and indignity Ruth had suffered, at least, as her lady’s maid, she could make sure the girl’s burden was not so heavy.

In truth, the opportunity to indulge in her artistic hobby was welcome, and Lisa’s pencil fairly flew across the page. She drew better from life than memory, but was determined to create an image of Nathaniel’s likeness that did him justice.
 

She tried to draw him seated proudly on his horse just as she had observed him from the work room window on her first day, but she couldn’t get the horse’s legs quite right. After several attempts, she managed to capture a reasonable likeness of Nathaniel as he had looked, seated across from her at the inn in Worthy, his face aglow with candlelight.

Studying the sketch, Lisa pondered the way things had turned out. She would never have allowed things to go so far if her father was still alive or if Lord Thomas had been in residence when she had first arrived at Worthington Hall. Not that there would have been any opportunity for impropriety if either had been the case. After a formal introduction to Thomas’s son, she would have been quickly dismissed as a virtual nobody. Any attraction Nathaniel felt for her would have been ruthlessly quashed in the face of her unsuitability for anything other than polite discourse over afternoon tea or to make up the numbers for a game of bridge.

Lisa’s conscience pricked when she realised, despite the dangers she continued to face and the questions she was yet to have answered, a part of her was relieved things had turned out the way they had. She would give anything for her father not to have been killed, but she couldn’t bring herself to regret being with Nathaniel despite the shocking nature of their relationship.

What sort of person that made her, she wasn’t sure.
 

With her mind filled with images of the man she had come to love beyond reason and respectability—watching her, holding her, naked and rising over her in her bed—she continued to sketch. Nothing
quite
so intimate, of course.

Impatient to see him again, she kept glancing to the clock on the mantelpiece. When the hour reached eight o’clock, she sighed. Time was moving slowly despite the enjoyment she received from indulging her passion for drawing.

Deciding to indulge another passion—for fantasy—she drew a picture of Nathaniel and her dancing together in an imaginary ballroom.

A girl could dream.

Chapter 19

Promises

At the sound of someone clearing their throat. Lisa looked up to see Nathaniel leaning against the doorframe. Despite the way their last encounter had ended, her heart leapt at the sight of him. Standing, she smoothed her skirt, hoping he would find her attire pleasing.

His sharply inhaled breath could be heard all the way across the room, and Lisa’s hand rose to her throat in alarm, as he strode towards her. She was certain Ruth wouldn’t have divulged her secret, but she feared something had alerted him to her identity, as she could think of no other reason for his obvious displeasure. Coming to a halt in front of her, he reached for her hand and raised it to his lips.

“You look absolutely gorgeous,” he said, and Lisa all but sagged with relief. He wasn’t angry but taken aback by her appearance . . . and more than a little aroused.
 

She could tell.

“Why thank you, my lord.” She swept a low curtsy the way Mrs Brewer had taught her. “I’m so glad you approve.”

“Approve? I don’t know whether to ravish you right here in the sitting room or go looking for your father to ask permission to court you.”

Lisa’s gaze shot to his face in time to see him grimace.

“I do apologise. That was a tactless thing to say.”

“It’s all right,” she assured him. “I know you didn’t mean anything by it. Although if my father
was
alive, I’m sure he would have welcomed your interest.”

Her words were only partly in jest, but they had the desired effect, lightening the mood.

“Hmm, I don’t know about that.” Nathaniel drew her into his embrace. “He might have been impressed by a marquis coming to court his beautiful daughter, but if he’d got wind of the truly wicked nature of my thoughts, he’d have run me off his property.”

“I think you may be right,” she whispered, the feel of his lips brushing over her skin robbing her of resolve. Temporarily.
 

“Lisa?”
 

He frowned when she pulled out of his embrace and put the table between them.

“You need to stay away from me,” she said.

“Whatever do you mean?”
 

 
“You promised we would talk, and I plan on holding you to it. You are a man of your word, are you not?”
 

Her teasing tone faltered, and his expression sobered.
 

“Of course, I am. I promised I’d take care of you, and despite this morning’s evidence to the contrary, I plan on keeping that and every other promise I make you.” Coming around to her side of the table, he reached for her, and she went willingly, unable to resist him a second time. “I’m so sorry for what happened in my study, Lisa. I assure you, nothing like that will ever occur again. You have my word.”

“And the other things you said this morning? Did you mean them also?”
 

An arresting smile curved his lips. “You wouldn’t be referring to my declaration by any chance?”

Lisa’s blushing cheeks answered for her.

“I meant what I said. I adore you.” He punctuated his words with soft kisses before giving a slight shake of his head. “But you’re right. We need to talk.”

Relieved they were in agreement, she walked with him towards the long upholstered couch near the fire. But before they reached it, he spotted the drawings she had left scattered across the table.

“Did you draw these?” he asked, and Lisa winced, dismayed she had not thought to pack the pictures away when he’d first appeared. She didn’t
think
she had drawn anything incriminating, as the inspiration for her last picture was mostly based in fantasy. It wasn’t as if she had ever danced at a ball. Releasing the breath she was holding, she decided it wasn’t so strange for a girl of her supposed station to be familiar with the inside of a ballroom. She had spent enough time dusting the one here at Worthington Hall to have an image of it engraved in her brain.
 

“These are very good.” Nathaniel pulled her to stand in front of him and wrapped his arms around her waist. Resting his chin on her shoulder, he studied the sketches. “Damnation, girl, will you never cease to surprise me? Just how many hidden talents do you possess?”
 

“You weren’t supposed to see them,” she whispered, embarrassed.

“Why ever not? You have real talent, Lisa. With proper tutoring, who knows what you could achieve?”

Not a great deal more, according to Lisa’s art tutor who had concluded she’d reached the peak of her ability some time back, but she could hardly say so.

“I’m not
that
good.” She pointed out the flaws in the picture she had drawn of him seated upon his horse while using the distraction to hide the one of her father.

“Sabre
does
look a little wobbly, but I think you’ve caught my likeness quite well, especially in this one.”
 

He pointed to Lisa’s favourite, the one of him at the inn.

“I’d very much like a picture of you,” he added. “Would you draw me a self portrait?”

“If you like. I could pose for it in the mirror, as I do much better with a model. Is there any chance you’d pose for me sometime?”
 

“With pleasure. Clothed or nude?”
 

“Nathaniel.” Lisa swatted his arm, though the idea was intriguing.

He turned her to face him, his smile fading.

“What is it?” she asked.

Not answering straight away, he led her to the couch where they sat facing one another . . . for a change.

“Lisa.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “If I had my way, I would parade you proudly before all of London. I’d take you dancing at Almacks and rent the flashiest, most prominent booth at Vauxhall Gardens where we’d enjoy the light show with the
ton
watching on. Every man in attendance—from pauper to prince—would envy my good fortune.”

“But you can’t do that,” Lisa cried, both flattered and alarmed by his words. If anyone recognised her, the beautiful fantasy he described would be destroyed.
 

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. We’ll have to be discreet, but please, don’t ever think it is because I’m ashamed of you. Most men of my rank don’t need to hide their mistresses, but I can’t afford the scandal. Besides . . .” He eyed her ruefully. “I have no intention of letting the rakes of the
ton
discover what an amazing prize I have in my possession and try to win you from me.”

“What do you mean ‘possession’ and how could they ‘win me’?”
 

“Not the way you’re thinking. I would
never
gamble with your future.”

Lisa’s racing heart slowed to a more normal cadence. Glancing down, she noticed an abrasion on the back of the knuckles of his right hand, proof of the veracity of his words.

“Thank you for protecting me against Lord Edgeley today and for promising to keep me safe in future. But there are so many things of which I have no understanding.” She raised her head to meet his gaze. “I need you to explain them to me.”