Innocence (32 page)

His mum had been chirpy and delighted that Sophie had made promising progress.

“Hello, Calvin, you’re back?” came a familiar voice from behind.

He turned to see Rosalind approaching and stood by his side holding a bag.

“Yes,” he replied, and saw her staring down at the Chinese paper bag he held and the aroma was making his stomach growl.

“Brought her more food?” she asked.

“Yeah, thought she might be starving and I haven’t had a chance to eat yet,” he replied, when he noticed the other visitors making their way to the double doors.

“I just have a few issues I wish to clear up with you,” Rosalind announced.

He turned his head to gaze at her.

“What is going on with you and my daughter?”

He widened his eyes, surprised at her question, he bet she was referring to the kiss on the forehead earlier in the day.

“Nothing, just offering her comfort and support,” he clarified.

“I see, I’m just hoping you aren’t going to get her hopes up and then leave,” she said abruptly.

The double doors opened and Calvin remained standing where he was like a statue, not believing the audacity of the woman and how dare she say what she did, about getting Sophie’s hopes up. He just prayed she wasn’t the one messing with her head, the woman was in her life one minute and when the going got tough she was gone. He scratched his head, and watched her disappearing down the corridor into the ward.

He stood stunned, he would never hurt Sophie, never, he couldn’t and wouldn’t. There was one thing he didn’t do and that was mess with someone’s heart

Calvin licked his lips and debated on leaving…but then why should he? He hadn’t done anything wrong.

He opened the door to Sophie’s room, and saw Rosalind turn to glare at him.

“Hey there,” he said to Sophie, and watched her face light up like a Christmas tree, determined to ignore Rosalind with a face of thunder. “I have brought us something to share,” he indicated holding the bag up.

“Oh yummy, I was thinking earlier how I would love something filling inside me,” she said smiling while rubbing her hands together looking hopelessly beautiful.

“Good,” he said and reached inside the bag producing two plastic plates, knives and forks. “I wasn’t sure what you’d like so I went for the pancake rolls, beef chicken, chow mein, Chicken and cashew nuts and fried rice,” he told her and brought out the plastic containers and placed them on her table. He glanced across to Rosalind noticing her not looking impressed, scrunching up her nose, but she was the least of his problems.

He dished it out making the room smell wonderful. He passed Sophie a plate and he sat in the chair closest to her whilst they feasted.

“Oh my God, this tastes delicious,” she told him before filling her mouth again.

“Isn’t it just?” he humoured back, it had been a while since he had eaten correctly.

Rosalind sat making little conversation as they ate their meal.

Calvin got the distinct feeling he wasn’t all that welcome. But he could care less what the woman thought. He was going to hang around like a bad smell supporting Sophie with everything she needed.

“I guess I may as well leave,” her mum muttered.

“Okay,” Sophie replied, relishing her food. Calvin lifted his head to glance at Rosalind with a face like a slapped backside, curling her upper lip. He guessed she had hoped Sophie answered differently.

“I will see you tomorrow.”

“Sure,” Sophie said stuffing her mouth with another fork full.

Rosalind left slamming the door behind her. Sophie gawked at him and lifted her shoulders. They both smiled. 

Calvin reached back into the bag and pulled out two chocolate mousses and small spoons.

“Are you trying to fatten me up?” Sophie mucked.

“Darn, you have sussed me out,” he said, grinning at her as she smiled back.

“So how are things between you and your mum?” he asked curious, even if he already sussed the answer out.

“Oh wonderful, best thing ever. I mean how the hell did I cope with my life without her being there?” Sophie mocked.

“Is she driving you potty?” he asked, scraping the remnants of the chocolate mousse.

Sophie had some chocolate on the corner of her mouth. He tried pointing it out to her, but she looked confused, frowning. He got a tissue and wiped the mousse away. Their eyes engaged, his heart stop beating, just at the sight of the woman. He knew exactly why he had desired her over the years and staring deep into her eyes the way he was he could see the young girl he made love to.

“Oh.” She giggled, referring to the chocolate and shied away.

“No problem. Anyway is she driving you potty?” he repeated.

“I just don’t get it. All these years she’d slammed the door in my face and now she’s acting like nothing has ever happened. Acting like mother of the frigging year. I don’t think so. I mean ten years, ten years,” she repeated. “That is a long time, Calvin, for her to show nothing for me, and then this happens. I mean I am grateful, I really am, but why did it take me to start haemorrhaging and having Kacey early to get her involved in my life?” she said.

He watched her frown, puzzled.

“I’m not sure, probably the fear she almost lost you, and has realized she messed up,” he added. “They always say it almost takes a near death or a death to bring the family together…it’s sad to be honest. As your life could have been so different and yet, you went down a street that led you to the dark side,” he said.

“You’re making my life sound like a Star Wars film,” she teased.

Calvin looked at her smiling, he could see the old Sophie Richards back and how she use to smile all the time and he could once again see the girl he originally fell in love with all those years ago.

“And thank you for telling the staff about me wishing to breast feed.”

“No problem, I only took the orders to the department for you. I assume they’ve been to see you?”

“Yes and I managed to express a little bit, that is what that machine is for.” She noticed Calvin turning to look at the machine.

“That is brill, so pleased, bet it makes you feel better.”

“It does, it really does. I feel I’m helping my baby girl. I might not be able to see her but I can try and give her the best medicine on the planet,” she told him.

“I think your mum is worried I’m going to get your hopes up and then leave,” he said honestly, needing to be truthful with her.

“What did you answer with?” she asked.

He craved to hold her hand and tell her how much he cared and…

“I didn’t get a chance, the doors opened and she marched in.”

“Oh, what would you have said?”

He stared deep into her eyes. “I was going to say…I am here to support and offer all the help your daughter needs and that…” He paused.

“And that?” he heard her say as he looked down at the floor.

He lifted his head to gaze deeply into her eyes. “Look you have enough to contend with, without me adding a dilemma.”

“Try me,” she said.

“Sophie, please…this past week or so, has been a lesson for us both. We have discovered things that should have been left alone, but instead the truth came out and no matter what happens I want you to know I’m here for you.”

“Calvin…” she said.

He turned his head and saw her holding her head down and looking in the opposite direction. He knew how hard things had been for her, hell the way he had found her was enough to tell him. He waited for Sophie to speak in her own time, there was no need to rush into anything…even if he still needed to tell her he was going to London tomorrow.

“I never meant to drag up the past, but the fact remains the reason I left the village was because…”

Calvin took hold of her hand, securely holding it. He didn’t need to hear it, or have her torturing herself over what happened years ago, hell his heart ached enough at the thought of what could’ve been.

“Don’t, please don’t. It has been hard enough for me to get my head around it. Guilt filled me and I…”

“Calvin, you had no idea.”

“You should have come to me, you should have told me what had happened.”

“How could I? I was scared, young, and confided in my mum. Yes, I liked you, but I didn’t know you and as soon as I found out…I was certain you would run, like most boys did at that age,” she said.

He kneaded her hand, swallowing hard.

“I was not one of those boys. I know we hardly saw much of one another, and it only happened generally with village parties and fates, but I had been watching you for a year previous. I really wanted you to turn up that night. I know it would have been difficult for you to escape the house with your mum and dad being full of authority.”

He watched Sophie widen her eyes. “You wanted me that night?” she said shocked.

“Yes, I wanted you to turn up,” he explained.

“So you could…”

“No, God no…please don’t ever think that…I wanted you there because I like you. What happened, fate took over. I never took advantage of you I swear,” he said urgently needing to rescue himself, realizing how bad that sounded. “You were talking about it and well…rather than those idiots who wouldn’t appreciate you…I kind of…” He held his head down, his stomach swirling around in agony. The hole got bigger and he was sinking further and further inside the hole he was creating. He held his head in his hands aching in his chest, wishing he hadn’t opened his mouth.

“So you saw me being weak and feeble and looking for a shag and thought, hey easy!” she snapped back.

He lifted his head immediately from his hands. “No, bloody hell no. You’re blowing this all out of proportion. I fancied you. Liked you and well…oh shit,” he said and stood, unable to explain correctly without her thinking the worst.

He left the room, heart shattered, guilt-stricken, with the urge to violently vomit.

Why did he have to say what he did?

* * * *

Sophie could not believe what he had just told her, it was like living in a nightmare, a horror movie that constantly haunted her. How dare he see an opportunity and take full advantage of her although it hadn’t been just about him, she remembered how she’d gone to the party to well…sex had been on her mind, but only if the chance came. She thought back to that night and briefly remembered the conversation and how being stuck in an all-girls school stopped her from being around boys and how curious she’d been about sex. She would confess she had wanted to experience it, and well, Calvin was a sweet guy, not that she had much to do with him in the earlier days, but was aware of him with his parents being so close to hers. She saw no reason why not to go with him. Calvin had been truly sensational and took things at her pace, despite the fact he was hosting a party.

She ached and due to his reaction, had got upset, but she couldn’t chase him and tell him it was okay, she understood his reaction and marvelled the fact that he had liked her. He had been there, she trusted him, and well…they had sex and nothing in the world was going to reverse what happened.

It was then Sophie remembered she had his number stored in her phone, he had logged it in just in case she wanted to get hold of him.

Holding the mobile phone in her hand, she debated on calling him or sending a text message. She sat holding the phone close to her heart, looking at the Chinese bag and the half empty plastic containers. He had been the only one to show her true affection and help.

Calvin, please come back x

She texted him.

She hit send hoping he would get the message and if he didn’t come back she would call. Sophie had so much to think about and a dilemma with Calvin was not what she wished for. She needed him and his strength to help her through the current days, yet was aware he lived and worked in London, and soon he would be expected back. She feared she had already taken up enough of his time, and he would need to head home.

She held the phone to her chest and waited, and waited, and waited for him to reply, but there was nothing.

Chewing at her lower lip, she felt dreadful inside, tired and thinking about Kacey and how much she needed Calvin right now. She wished she didn’t, but the truth was he was the only one she could talk to…the only one she wished to share everything with. It was as though Calvin was her savour and was keeping her sane.

Unable to rest despite the fact she was tired and needed some urgent rest. Her thoughts rattled in her mind, wondering whether Calvin had ignored her, or he was too upset and ashamed to speak to her.

Biting her lower lip, her heart aching she saw there was no other choice but to call him. She found his number and dialled, unsure she was doing the right thing, but her heart would not rest until she spoke with him. His phone rang

“Please answer…pick up, Calvin…please,” she pleaded.

The phone went to voicemail.

Hello, you are through to Calvin Edwards, if you would kindly leave your name and number I’ll do my best to contact you as soon as possible.