INK: Abstraction (30 page)

He kneels down to meet
me. “I won’t be your second choice for one more minute.”

I look up at him with
the utmost sincerity. “You’ve never been my second
choice, Eli. I love you. I want to be with you forever. I don’t
want Aiden, I told McNab that. He pushed and pushed, feeling the
guilt of having lost Aiden. He feels responsible and he wants me to
mourn Aiden’s absence. I told him that I cared about Aiden, but
it’s you I want to be with. Now and always.” The sobs are
crashing in, battering my soul from the inside out. “Eli, I
don’t want to take another breath if you aren’t in the
air, I don’t want to feel one more thing if it isn’t my
love for you. Eli,
please
, I love you.”

He pulls his lips into
a thin line, choking back his own tears. “Shay, for so many
years I’ve played second fiddle to Aiden and I can’t do
it anymore. It doesn’t matter even now that he’s gone,
he’s haunting our relationship.”

“No, Eli. Your
insecurity is. Look at me.” He hesitates before looking at me.
“I. Love. You.”

His demeanor softens.
“I have to say goodbye to you Shay, I can’t do this, I
have to walk away to maintain my own sanity.”

Quietly I slump,
leaning on the back bumper of his car, accepting my defeat. In this
moment I want to open a vein and end it all right now. Despair creeps
in and I resign myself to this being the end between us.

He stands and walks
back to his car door. I push out a whisper past my sobs. “I
won’t live without you.”

“You’ll be
fine,” he says coldly and gets back in the car.

McNab comes out the
front door witnessing the scene of me sobbing on the ground and Eli
trying to figure out how he’s going to leave. McNab leans down
as though he’s going to help me up. But I don’t want to
get up. I’d rather lay here until Eli runs the tires over my
hopeless body.

“Eli,”
McNab barks.

Eli steps out of the
car. “I don’t need shit from you, man. Just get her out
of my way.”

“You’re
making assumptions that are untrue.” McNab places himself in
the way of the open car door.

“Yeah, and I
suppose you’re going to set me straight?” Eli challenges.

“Yeah, I’m
going to set you straight.” McNab doesn’t posture any
more than taking a protective stance. “If you’ll take a
second to listen, you’ll get it.”

Eli pushes into McNab
with his chest to move him, but McNab stands his ground. “Get
her out of my way.”

“She doesn’t
want to be with Aiden. She wants to be with you.” McNab pleads
my case.

“Did you miss
what she said in there?” Eli questions.

“Look, dumbass, I
was upset because it seemed like she’d forgotten about Aiden.
It bothered me that she just blithely moved on with you like he never
existed.”

Eli gets in close to
McNab’s face. “There hasn’t been a moment in our
lives together that Aiden hasn’t ‘existed.’ She’ll
never love just me, she’ll always love us. Is that something
you
could live with?”

“Yes, for someone
I professed to love and cherish like you do? Yes. And you’re
wrong. She cares about Aiden, but she doesn’t want to marry
him, have children with him, and build a life with him. She wants all
that with you.”

Eli looks past McNab to
see me still sobbing on the ground. His demeanor softens and he
pushes past him to me. “Is that true? You want to be my wife?
You want to have my children?”

I nod and through my
tears tell him, “Oliver and Fallon. I want that, I want to be
Mrs. Elijah Walker one day.”

He bends down and takes
me into his arms. “I love you, but you have to know I can’t
do it anymore. It has to be me and only me. No more Aiden, whether
he’s across the globe or across the street.”

I nod in agreement. “I
only want to be with you.”

He helps me up and into
the house. He puts me on the couch and smiles, kneeling in front of
me. “No more Aiden?”

“No more Aiden. I
want to be with you.” When I say the words I believe them, they
are true. I'm done being Aiden's toy. I need Eli, I need his
stability to ground me and make me feel safe.

He stands and goes into
the bedroom and returns quickly, taking his place on the floor in
front of me. “Mrs. Walker, huh?” He smiles and his eyes
dance with delight.

I nod, hopeful that
he’s going to give me another chance as the tears on my face
are drying.

He looks down at his
hands and takes mine in his. “Then let’s do it.”

A wave of panic rides
through me that I won’t be able to live up to his expectations.
He slides the diamond and sapphire engagement ring on my finger and I
realize that I misunderstood him.

“Marry me.”
He looks into my eyes as serious as a heart attack.

My hesitation will kill
this moment, so I blurt it out. “Yes.” I throw my arms
around his neck. McNab stands with his arms folded, leaning against
the doorframe with a disapproving look on his face.

“Today, let’s
do it today,” Eli says enthusiastically.

“Today?” I
question the rush of it all. I mean, I always thought we would have a
big wedding.

A wry smile rises to
McNab’s lips as though he’s waiting for me to screw it
up. Waiting for me to say that I don’t want to get married
today, he’s enjoying this all too much.

“Yes, today.”
He pulls back to look me in the eye. “We’ll go to the
courthouse and have a civil ceremony and then we can plan the wedding
of your dreams for when all of this calms down.”

Absently I nod. I’m
scared out of my mind at the prospect of getting married today. It
wasn’t exactly in my day planner. Who am I kidding; I don’t
have a day planner. “Okay, can I get a shower or do I have to
go like this?”

A deep laugh rumbles in
his chest as he lands a sweet kiss on top of my head. “Well,
I’d marry you naked, but I have a little more class than to get
married in flip flops.”

Carl comes to the door
and walks in past McNab. “Hey, what’s going on?”

“It’s a
happy day Carl, there’s going to be a wedding,” McNab
informs him with a sarcasm that only I can hear.

“Really?”
Carl looks at me and eyes the ring on my finger. “
What the
fuck did I miss?”
I hear Carl’s voice in my head.

“Yup! That’s
right, there’s going to be a union.” McNab heads for the
back bedroom.

Carl stops him. “No
seriously, what did I miss?”

“You missed me
saying ‘yes’ to the man I love.” I stand, heading
for the bathroom. “Okay then. I’ll go take a shower.
Should we call my dad?”

“No, just us.”
Eli cuts a look to McNab. “No one else.”

Before leaving I plant
a long passionate kiss on Eli. I’m trying to feel excited even
though it feels wrong with everything that’s happening. “I’ll
be back.”

When I pass McNab,
who’s all but blocking the hallway, he says, dripping with
disapproval, “I guess congratulations are in order for the
blushing bride.”

“Thank you,
McNab.” Careful not to make contact with him or Carl I move
past them into the bedroom, then into the bathroom. I close the door
behind me and stand in front of the mirror with my arms locked on the
counter to hold me up.

What the fuck am I
doing? I can’t get married today. I love Eli and want to be
with him, but the timing doesn’t feel right. How can I get
married when I don’t even know if I’ll end up in jail
soon or not? Jesus Christ.

The smell of sulfur
fills the bathroom and I see a black hole that I know leads to the
void. I don’t want to avoid the bonds of matrimony
that
bad. The hole closes up.

“So, this is your
big day.” The Specter’s voice fills the room. “Going
to become Mrs. Walker.”

“Yes I am.”
I answer with as much irritation in my voice as though I were talking
to McNab, who by the way I’d like to throw down a well right
about now.

“Is this what you
really want?” His greasy voice invades more than just the room
and I’m trying not to choke on the terror. “Is he really
the man for you?”

“You need to
leave,” I tell him, turning on the shower while trying to draw
on my strength and focus to blow him out of the room again.

“We can still be
together.” His oily grin haunts me as I remember what he’s
looked like standing over the bodies of his victims. He floats down
behind me. I see him in the mirror. “You’ll always be
mine, whether you are Mrs. Walker or not.”

“Never.”
I’m still trying to muster my inner strength.

“If you have a
change of heart before you’re little union, I’ll consider
sparing this one, unlike Mr. Testosterone. It was a shame how he
went.” He plays with a smoky beard, deep in thought. “I
didn’t even get to enjoy it.”

My eyes close in anger
and the boiling rage of being so out of control of everything that’s
happening causes me to snap. I feel a shockwave of energy burst from
my core and when I open my eyes I see the Specter and the curtains
are on fire. “Shit.” I grab a towel from the rack and bat
at the curtains until the flames subside.

The Specter dissipates,
leaving a residue behind. The smoke coming from the curtains is
enough to set off the fire alarm and Eli appears in the doorway with
a fire extinguisher. McNab and Carl aren’t far behind coming to
make sure I’m okay.

“It’s all
good,” I say with a crooked smile. “Carl?”

“Yes darlin’?”
He looks at me as though he knows what happened.

“I think we need
to work on my delivery.” I roll my eyes.

“Yes, I think we
do. All in good time.” He seems almost proud of his student. I
hope he is.

“What happened?”
Eli’s still standing at the ready with the extinguisher.

“I’ll
explain later, I just want a shower now.” I close the door and
find the solace of being alone in the bathroom.

Carl

McNab
takes me by the arm of my jacket, clearly irritated, and drags me to
the back bedroom. “Pitch, Quag, Wes. Out.”

They all scurry from
the room without question. McNab closes the door and he is infuriated
and coming apart at the seams. “What the fuck is going on,
Carl?”

“McNab, you need
to calm down.” I put my hand on his shoulder.

He shrugs me off. “No
Carl, I don’t need you ‘calming me down.’” He
paces nervously before he starts speaking again. “I leave and
all hell breaks loose? We’ve got three more bodies, Miranda is
still an issue, the Specter crashed a school bus full of children
into a restaurant trying to kill you and now there’s a
wedding?”

“Yes, I think
you’ve hit all the high points.” I sit down in the desk
chair. “It’s more of a civil union rather than a wedding
though, there is a difference.” I put my finger on my chin
because I’m honestly just as irritated with him as he is with
me. “Oh, I’m pretty sure this ‘union’ is all
your doing.”

“How could you
let all of this happen? I was only gone a few days.” He’s
not calming down.

“You need to find
your center. If you lose it right now I’m afraid that’s a
cat we’ll never get back in the bag.” I try to soothe him
with my voice.

He inhales some
cleansing breaths. “Start from the beginning.”

“As you know,
Nigel was one of the victims. But it only looked like the Specter, it
wasn’t him. Then there were two cops.” I start listing
the dead.

McNab gasps. “Cops?
Really? Jesus, this is going to make a witch hunt look like an Easter
egg hunt.” He rolls his eyes and plops down on the bed.

“Yeah and Shay
knew one of the cops. We haven’t told her yet, she’ll
find out soon enough.”

“I haven’t
had a spare moment with Harry, Miranda’s been very careful not
to leave his side. That woman is evil incarnate. I haven’t been
able to find who else she’s working with, but there’s
definitely someone.” I wait for his commentary which never
comes. “I’m hoping to get Harry alone soon, but last
night after the school bus incident I wasn’t able to reach him.
I went over there this morning and he wasn’t home.” I
raise my eyebrows.

McNab gets a look on
his face like he might vomit. “You don’t think Miranda
would resort to…” He can’t bring himself to say
it.

“I do think she
would, the question is how long has Harry been lonely?”

McNab shudders.
“Fucking humans. Disgusting really.”

“And you know
more about the wedding than I do, so why don’t you tell me what
happened.” I wait for him to start to speak.

“That was a poor
play on my part; I wanted her to realize that she’s using Eli
as a placeholder for Aiden.” He holds his head in his hands.

“Poor play is an
understatement. What does it matter?” I question. “All
you’ve done is driven her toward Eli rather than away. She’s
got a lot happening right now and she’s making serious strides
with her power.” This he won’t be happy about.

“You couldn’t
keep her under wraps? What the hell, Carl?” He runs his fingers
through his hair and reaches into a pocket on his cargo pants. “Has
she been wearing the pendant?”

“Yes, but it
doesn’t matter. Between her own natural ability and what the
Specter has dredged up she’s gaining strength. I think there’s
a lot more to that girl than either of us thought,” I warn.

He blows out a breath
and rubs the charm between his fingers that he took from his pocket.
He’s hunched over slightly on the bed, clearly having
difficulty finding calm. The stress is getting to him in a profound
way; his back is teeming with the muscle spasms that are raging out
of control. I stand from the chair and lay my hands on him. He
doesn’t resist. “McNab, I need you to calm down. It’s
going to be okay.”

It’s been a long
time since I’ve seen him this upset. He needs to work on his
control and meditation. “Tell me about Aiden, were you able to
find him?”