Inflamed: A Shadow Riders MC (51 page)

"Who let you fuck, Riv?"

"Who the fuck do you think, you crazy fuckin' son of a bitch?"

Blue's eyes grew wide in shock and he moved away from the counter, lifting his index finger from around the beer and pointing at him. "You and Mia? Jesus, motherfucker, why haven't you said shit about it?"

"Because I've been too goddamn busy gettin' my shit into her to let you other fuckers know what's goin' on."

Blue paused and rattled his head. "That sounds disgustin' as fuck, but I'm happy for you brother and whatever the fuck it is that you two choose to do in your spare time away from the club is good with me." He sucked back some of his beer and excitedly licked his lips. "She worth the fuckin' wait?"

River rested against the counter on the opposite side of the kitchen and crossed his arms over his chest, trying like hell to hide the smile he felt creeping up the corners of his mouth. "Yeah, motherfucker, she was worth the goddamn wait of it all and then some. Woman nearly fucked the sense out of my goddamn head before I was even able to get inside her."

"Woman?" He raised his brows and his mouth fell open. "Shit, she's got you trained up for that shit already, huh?"

"Nobody's got me trained up for shit, asshole. It's about showin' her some goddamn respect and that's what I plan on doin' from here on out, better than I fuckin' did before. I need to keep givin' her that shit so that she can keep givin' me--"

"Head." He drank back more of his beer.

River puffed out his chest and sighed. "No, motherfucker. Shit, you talked about not knowin' what the fuck love is, right?" he said. "I figured out that it's not just about that shit. How good she can suck or fuck. Don't get me wrong, she can suck my cock... a lot better than I fuckin' thought she might be able to since she ain't had one in a long fuckin' time. And sinkin' myself deep inside her is like bein' inside a goddamn dream you don't wanna wake up from. Shit's the opposite of death. It's warm and nice and so goddamn good and sweet that you wanna fuckin' have and hold onto to it for fuckin'..." He shrugged. "Shit, for fuckin' ever, asshole. But it's not all that this shit's about with her, not for me and not for her either. 'Cause when I look at her, I just see my entire goddamn life. I see my world spinnin' in the right direction and startin' to make sense for a change. I see how I wanna fuckin' live from now until the goddamn end, and it's not the way I've been livin' it in the club for so goddamn long."

Blue sat back and drank more of his beer. He had never heard such deep shit coming from his best friend before. He didn't know exactly how to feel about it, but he knew he didn't hate what the fuck was being said. "I feel you, brother," he told him. "I feel you on that shit, and it sounds good and sweet as fuck. But um..." He skimmed his hand across his mouth. "The pussy parties."

"What about 'em?"

"You and Wolf are the ones always puttin' 'em together."

"Then Wolf can do 'em on his fuckin' own. Or you can help plan 'em out with Tiny, shit's not that big of a goddamn deal."

"So, we're gonna keep havin' 'em?"

"Yes, motherfucker, I can't stop the pussy parties from happenin' at the goddamn club. I just won't be participatin' in that shit anymore, in any kind of way when Mia's not around."

"Fuck," said Blue. "I knew this
woman
had you twisted up inside the head and fucked, but I didn't think it'd be some shit like this. You no longer wantin' pussy from another bitch is like me takin' a vow of celibacy or toein' up the line straight up to God Himself like my goddamn brother."

"Yeah. Now what's this shit about Wolf and the goddamn Dragons?"

"Since you bailed out the other night, they said they wanna have another party with just us this time."

"What?"

"Outside of the shit with Tiny, they’re startin’ in on questionin' your commitment to this shit now, asshole."

River blinked and dropped his arms. He clutched his fists and took a few steps forward, nearly towering over Blue, who leaned back and away from him. "Are they actin' like I still don't wanna get rid of this son of a bitch when they were the ones in his back pocket for nearly ten goddamn years?" he roared.

"Chill, Riv. Chill," said Blue, raising his hands. "And I don't need you all up on me like this without some goddamn clothes on first, brother." River backed away from him and loosened his grip. "These motherfuckers just wanna continue makin' sure that everything is
copacetic
so to speak, between us as a club. They wanna make sure it's not just lip service that they're gettin'."

"Fuck." River crossed his arms again and slid his tongue back and forth across his teeth. "What kinda pussy are they seekin' out this time?"

"Old Lady kinda pussy."

He dropped his shoulders and groaned. "Are you goddamn fuckin’ shittin' me with this shit, fucker?"

"Nope. They want the old ladies at this one, Riv, theirs included. Somethin' about it showin' solidarity and shit if we bring the women with us that we go home to every fuckin' night as opposed to the random one nighter's at the club."

"You ain’t got a bitch to go home to every night, brother."

"I could." He shrugged. "Meghan's pussy's still up for grabs. And there's always Courtney's friend."

"Jesus Christ." He hung his head. "If you bring that bitch there tonight, Courtney's gonna wanna escape that goddamn hotel and tag along with her. And if the bitch decides to get drunk, I don't wanna have to deal with tryin' to keep her off my goddamn cock or even worse, tryin' to keep Mia from diggin' the bitch's eyes out of her goddamn head."

Blue squint. "She'd scrap on Ricky's sister like that?"

"I'm pretty fuckin' sure she would try if her hands match any goddamn thing that her mouth can do."

"Just how
good is
that goddamn mouth of hers, brother?" asked Blue. “I mean, you seem to be in a pretty pepped up kinda mood.”

"Her mouth is as goddamn good as my foot would be up your ass right about now, asshole," River snapped. Blue’s face fell. "Look, if you explain to this bitch you're still tryin' to 'claim' that its women we wanna fuck on a regular basis only, meanin' her friend ain't allowed so she can't go runnin' off at the mouth to her about this shit again, then..." He opened his hands and bobbed his head.

"Yeah, VP, I just..." Blue scratched his head. "That's all well and good, but... I just don't want this bitch thinkin' that she's the only woman I ever wanna fuck."

"A few months back you were wantin' to marry this bitch ‘cause she fucked you so goddamn good."

"Yeah, but that was like bein' on some kinda cock suckin' high or some shit. It's different now with more new club pussy comin' in and this Meghan bitch I'm still tryin' to fuck."

"Shit." He shook his head and tried to hold back a goddamn chuckle. "Then explain that shit to her, asshole. Tell her you like fuckin' her but that the shit's not exclusive. From the shit you said about her before and what she's into doin' with you, she'll be fine. Now get the fuck out so I can call up Mia and let her know what the fuck's goin' on for tonight."

"Alright." He drank up the rest of his beer and tossed the bottle in the trash. As he headed for the door, he stopped and turned back to River. "Is your girl gonna still be wearin’ those short as fuck skirts and shorts and tight ass tee’s that make her tits look--?"

He glowered and slapped his hand around the back of Blue's neck, jerking him back so hard, it turned red and nearly snapped. "Why?" he spat out between his teeth.

Blue shook his head and smirked. "No reason. Just curious is all. If we're gonna continue lookin' at her at the club, I'd just like to continue
likin'
what the fuck I see."

"Motherfucker, get your ass the fuck outta here." River shoved him away and reached for the handle on the door and swung back.

Blue laughed. “Alright, asshole, okay. Wolf said he wants shit set up by 9,” he hollered back while hustling out the house and to the driveway and his bike. "Said he wants your mother there too!"

"My mother? She is not gonna be down with that shit again."

"He says he needs somebody at his side tonight 'cause Verna's down for the count with the flu or some shit, and your mother's the only other one that can cook what those fuckers like to eat."

“Shit. Alright, I'll let her know too.” River slammed the door shut and shook his head. “Jesus Christ.” He made his way back into his bedroom and ripped off his towel, then took a seat on his bed and reached for the phone to dial up Mia.

Chapter Forty-Two

"Okay, I'll see you at home later tonight. Bye." I clicked the off button on my cell and stuffed it inside my purse. I turned to stare at Jolene as she kept her eyes on Avery and Trucker across the park, and leaned back on the bench. "That was River," I told her.

She nodded. "I figured as much from the way you kept smiling like that. You make my son happier than I think I've ever seen him before. Not since Madison came along has he smiled so much. He needed that," she said. "He did good in finally allowing himself to scoop you up." She glanced at me from the corner of her eye and smirked. "What'd he say?"

"He said that there's another party taking place at the club tonight. Go figure."

She rolled her eyes up into her head and blew out the smoke from her cigarette. "
Jesus
." She mashed the lit tip of it against the side of the bench, then stuffed it inside her purse. "Is he asking for your permission to attend?"

"No, actually. He was asking if
I
wanted to attend. Not even really asking, but so much as saying it was a necessity that we go."

She leaned her head and turned to me with a glare and arched brow. "
We
?" she asked.

I slowly nodded my head and refocused on Avery as she hung upside down alongside another child on the monkey bars. "Yep. Something about how the Dragons don't want, in the words of your son, 'random club pussy running around there tonight'. I don't know, he said something about how it's supposed to show solidarity between the charters."

She bobbed her head. "Unity between the brothers and their women means unity beyond the club itself," she told me. "If we show them that we're a family who can come together no matter what, then it lets them know we're worthy of being trusted. We step up, we show our faces, we smile, we play our parts just like River said to you once before, and we stand alongside our men. We fight when we need to, but for the most part, we stick to the roles handed to us by the members of the club." She stopped and lifted a hand over my head and rested it on the bench. "It's the kind of life I never really wanted to have to live."

"Why did you? I mean, I'm not judging you for why you stayed after he found you and helped you out, I'm just curious."

She tapped her fingers against the bench and smiled at Avery as she jumped down from the monkey bars and started running with the other kids over to the swing sets. "She reminds me so much of Madison when she was little. So free and not caring about anything except for being happy."

"She's eight," I said with a laugh. "I know it won't always be like this."

"Cherish it while you have it, honey." She lowered her eyes and pat me on the shoulder, then peeked over at me and smiled sadly. "You know I was the same age as you when I had River?"

I nodded. "Verna told me."

"
I bet she did
," she mumbled. She shook her head and widened her smile, though it seemed so much sadder than before. "I was so young and dumb back then. I thought I was so in love with the man I was going to have my baby with. He told me he loved me and I was so stupid to believe it; told me he'd be leaving his wife as soon as the baby was born to help and raise it with me, and I believed it. Until I saw them together one day, and he took her hand and smiled at her in a way that I knew he'd never look or smile at me, and that's when I realized that he was never going to leave her. He had never planned on it despite all he said. I was the stupid one who fell for his lies and because I ate them all up one by one by one just wanting to believe; he kept feeding them to me to get what he wanted, and I gave it, every single time despite myself, I gave it." She sniffed. "I ran off, hoping to get away from him, but I never could. Even after having River, I couldn't get away from him. Because even if he wasn't around, he was still always around, watching, lurking, waiting for River to finally become the man I never wanted him to be." She paused and slowly exhaled. "I thought I saw the face of God the day Wolf found me and carried me away from that lake, but the truth is that I was lying in the arms of the devil himself. It was true then just as much as it is now."

I turned my eyes straight ahead and gulped. "River said Wolf's the one who wants you there tonight because Verna's home sick."

"Son of a bitch probably poisoned her to keep her from coming out," she mumbled. "Trying to put me in her place as if it's still just so damn easy...." She shook her head again. "There's so many sides to that man that people don't get to see for themselves, dangerous sides that he can barely keep hidden anymore. He comes off as if he cares about you and your well-being, but the truth is that if he can't use you for something, you're not needed, or wanted, or worthy of even having around. River sees that. He's always seen it since he was a little boy. But he can't go against him now, he couldn't then. But he sees him..." she said. "He sees him for what he is. Which is why it's a damn good thing that you have him looking out for you in comparison to the others, honey; he's never been a blind sheep following after the big bad wolf in similar clothing and he won't start now."

"Is that how Wolf earned his name?"

She grinned. "Slick and sly is what he's always been. It's how he managed to get so many members for his club back then and how he managed to make his way to the front of their ship to become its captain.
Slick and sly.
"

Her words hit me like a two-by-four, but I took them all in until the very last syllable.

"Come on." She smacked me on the leg. "Enough of that. Let's get your girl and head off to the market. If Verna's out and I'm in, that means we're going to have to do some cooking with the other girls in her absence."

"We?"

"That's right, honey, you'll learn today. Come on." She reached down for my hand and yanked me up from the bench without another word.

Chapter Forty-Three

After a few hours spent at the local market with Jolene and trying to help me distinguish green from yellow squash and which one she was certain the club would like more, we made it back to River's with sacks and sacks of groceries spilling out of our arms. When he heard us pull up, he came outside and helped carry in as many bags as he could.

"You musta raided out the goddamn store," he said.

"According to what Trucker said, we're apparently cooking for an entire army tonight," Jolene replied as she made her way into the kitchen. "A goddamn army of assholes." She threw the bags on the counter and grumbled.

"Um." I cleared my throat and turned to my child. "Avery." I took the small grocery bag from her hands and placed it on the table. "Why don't you go in the room back there and start getting your clothes together for tonight."

"Okay. Are they gonna have to put money in the swear jar?"

"At this rate, we'll all be putting so much money in there that we'll be able to buy up a row of mansions before you're twelve."

She screamed excitedly as if I had just told her I was buying her a puppy, and raced down the hall and into her bedroom.

I spun back around to Jolene and River and grimaced. "Thank you both for that," I snapped.

"I'm sorry, hon," said Jolene. "She's so tiny, that at times I just forget."

I looked over at River. "What's your excuse?"

"'Goddamn' is the least offensive goddamn word I could ever say in front of anybody, ever, Mia."

I rolled my eyes and stepped further into the kitchen. "Right."

He snickered and crossed his arms as he moved his eyes over to his mother and nodded. "Mia tell you about Wolf bein' the one to want you there with us tonight?" he asked.

Jolene looked over at me and bobbed her head. "Are we sure Verna's not actually on her death bed?" she asked while removing the milk and eggs from each sack.

"I talked to her on the phone and she's honestly fucked up," he said. "Probably best she's not there tonight anyway."

"Why is that?" I asked. River shrugged and nonchalantly shook his head.

"Much like me, she doesn't get along all that well with the women in the other charters," said Jolene. "Wolf's had his fair share of a few of them."

"Oh. Well, I guess I can understand that." I glanced at River and he stood up straight and cleared his throat, while at the same time doing all he could to avoid eye contact with me.

"Where are you plannin' on puttin' up Avery for the night?" he asked.

"I called Meghan on the way here and she said she'd watch her again tonight with Alisha."

"Alright, I'll call up some of my other boys to make sure they're on alert tonight, give Trucker some time off. Wolf wants the prospects there with us too," he said. "Hey, um." He nodded toward his mother. "You mind givin' us a minute in here?"

"Sure, I'll go check on Avery."

"Thanks," he replied. As soon as she was gone, he scooped me up into his big, muscular arms and held me so tight and close to his chest that I could feel his heart beating straight into me. "
Shit...
" He slid his tongue along the side of my neck, around my jaw, and sank his teeth into me so gently that I wanted to melt. Immediately, I felt my legs quiver as my sex pounded at the softness of his touch. "I missed the fuck outta you this mornin'," he said. "That showerin' alone shit's not somethin' I'm lookin' forward to doin' again now that I've had a damn good taste of you in there with me."

I threw my arms around him and tilted my head. "I'm sorry," I said. "But I felt the best way to tell Avery about what's going on with us was to do it outside of the house, and away from you once she was finished with school today. I knew her reaction would be a little more subdued than Madison’s when you told her.”

He snickered. "Yeah, to say the fuckin’ least. Girl couldn’t seem to stop screamin’ and cryin’ all in my goddamn ear from bein’ so thrilled.” He nodded. “What'd your girl finally say?"

"In comparison, she's eight." I laughed. "I think she's fine with it for the most part and she likes you and the way you treat her, and the way you treat me. It's just that you're not her daddy and she's still trying to wrap her head around all of that."

"Yeah..." He walked me back against the counter and dropped his hands around to my behind. I winced as he squeezed me and pressed his cock against my groin and rocked himself against me.

"River--"

"I want you to release it, baby. That's how much I missed you today," he told me. I smiled and dropped my hands around his shoulders. He saw the sudden pensiveness in my face despite it and slightly pulled back. "What's with those eyes, darlin'?" he said. "I'm seein' some kinda shit inside of 'em that I don't like seein' all that much."

"Nothing, it's just.... I got a weird feeling when I was with your mother at the park today."

"What kinda weird feelin'?"

"The kind that made me second guess a lot of things."

"About us?"

"No." I paused. "I don't know, it's just... She started talking about Wolf and a lot of the things she said made me start to kind of wonder about him in a different way than I had before."

He sighed in frustration and pulled away from me completely, resting his hands on his hips and glaring. "What kinda shit was she sayin' about him, Mia?"

"The kind that made me feel like he all but forced her into accepting this life and his world against her will. I know that he found her, and that he gave you both a place to stay and that she might've felt obligated in that sense, which is why she didn't leave. But... I don't know, it's almost as if she was talking about him like he was some sort of Svengali."

"A what?"

"Like a manipulator or someone who's constantly pulling strings behind the scenes. It was just something in her tone and the way she looked as she talked about him that made me feel uncomfortable. And then she mentioned your dad and--"

"What'd the fuck she have to say about him?"

"Erm."
Why bother re-striking that iron?
I thought. "Not
a lot
. I only mentioned the Wolf thing because I know how you feel about him and I know that you're already aware and skeptical of him given how he's run the club in the past, but... maybe you should be even more so now. Especially since you're having to work with other clubs and charters to deal with Ricky."

He sucked in a deep breath and pinched his lips while taking in what I had said. "He's been paranoid as fuck ever since I got back from New York," he told me. "Blue's mentioned that shit twice already and I saw it during the party we had with the Dragons that night. Motherfucker kept starin' me down after I went off on Tiny, but I couldn't figure out what the fuck it was about and wasn't in any kinda goddamn mood to ask." He stopped. "I know he can be full of shit, but what the fuck could he be operatin' behind the scenes that not a single motherfucker is aware of? Tiny might still be tryin' to crawl up his ass, but if it jeopardized the club, even that motherfucker wouldn't stand for that shit."

I shrugged. "I don't know." I leaned back and rested my hands on the counter. "Is there any way that you could take over the club for yourself? Move it out from underneath him and start running things the way that you want?"

"Yeah, doll, sure. I've thought about it from the first moment he patched me in, but that shit's not my kinda reality."

"Why not?"

"'Cause he'll die before he lets another motherfucker take over that goddamn gavel or sit in his chair. Shit, even now he'd try to fight me for it and I'm not talkin' about with just his fuckin' words or even his goddamn fists." He narrowed his eyes. "Besides, I didn't think this was the kinda life you wanted us to have. If I were to ever become Prez, we'd be in this shit 'til the fuckin' end."

"I know," I told him. "It's not the kind of life that I would ever want to live for myself. Not the kind of life that I would ever want Avery to grow up in, but... This is who you are, Jacob. And me trying to take that away from you doesn’t' exactly scream 'love' to me."

"Me wantin' to get out 'cause it'd make you happy is."

"It is," I said. "But you being miserable and someday resenting me for that isn't. I'm happy with you. I'm happy being with you, I'm happy living with you. I'm happy on your bike or at your side, and... I feel like I can do anything. I can be anyone, I can go anywhere and I know that you'd be fine with it."

"Not too fuckin' fine if--"

"If you weren't there with me, I know that. But you would be, everywhere with me, always. The point I'm trying to make is that I don't need anything else in this life to make me whole except for my child, and you."

"I don't need any goddamn thing except for you, Avery, Madison--"

"And your club. The life you had before doesn't have to be the life you have now, with
us
. When I asked if all you wanted was booze and bitches and bikes and whatever else, I didn't mean that I wanted you to give up the one thing that managed to save you from yourself."

"That'd be you, doll."

"I'm part of it, I know." I stepped forward and reached out for his hand. "Part of being in love with somebody is yes, making a promise you can keep. But it's also about making sacrifices for yourself and for the ones that you love. It's also about commitment." I curled his fingers inside his palm and pressed his fist against my mouth. "And I'm completely, and fully, and utterly committed to you and this and to us and this life that we have together, Jacob 'River' Hawkins. I know that it won't be easy and I know that we might drive each other absolutely crazy at times but... I think the end result just might be worth it."