Inflamed: A Shadow Riders MC (47 page)

"Do ya?" he asked. One brow arched quickly before dropping back down and I knew I was in trouble then, which is exactly where I had wanted to be with him since the moment I saw him again.

Nervously, I enfolded my hands and lowered my head. "I don't want you to think I'm some kind of
prude
or something when it comes to certain things that you say around me, because it's obvious that I'm not."

"
Pretty damn fuckin' obvious
," he said under his breath.

I ignored the sarcasm in his tone and continued. "But, I just think there's a time and a place to use certain words or say certain things around certain people. And I don't think being here with me like this is the right time
or
the right place for that kind of
talk
."

He wrapped his hand around his jaw and slid it down to his chest. "Then what the fuck is this the right time and place for, babe? With you standin' over there lookin' good as fuck, fat heavy tits pushin' right through that goddamn pink tee; hard nipples ready to be licked and sucked by no other motherfucker in this entire goddamn world but me."
Oh God.
He approached me like a wild and possessive animal seeking out its prey and I walked back until I fell against the frame of the door; I wrapped my hand around it and held on tight in the hopes that it would keep me steady. "Babe," he grunted while hovering over me. He rested a hand just above my head and pressed his hard body against mine. His cock felt like a steel rod pulsating against my thigh. My sex became heavy, wet with arousal for him in almost an instant. I could hardly think, hardly speak,
hardly breathe
. "What the fuck is this the right time and place for?" His breath on my face was intoxicating. Like the heaviest dose of the worst drug or the strongest pint of liquor you could ever imagine drinking; only bad for you because it takes days to finally recover from it, not because the actual taste of it sends you reeling.

I looked right up into his steel blue eyes and allowed them to suck me in. This man was like a hurricane, and I was slowly being pulled into his tempestuous storm.

"Babe," he said again. He sounded slightly agitated, but so unbelievably sexy at the same damn time. That rugged voice of his...

God, that rugged voice.

I swallowed every fear I had in my soul and tipped my head back before finally saying, "Time and place for you to finally tell me what you want, so that you can finally be inside me like we both need.”

“
Jesus
--”

“No matter what you might think or how you might feel about actually saying the words to me out loud, I just want you to know that--"

He brought his hand up to my mouth to stop me from going any further. "
Fuck. Me
." I didn't know if that was a request or a demand, but I knew I liked hearing him say it; I knew I liked how he said it and even if I didn't exactly know why, I liked that too. A soft smile formed on his lips and for a few seconds, he actually looked younger than his thirty-eight years; it made my heart skip a beat or two. He brought his other hand down from the door and caressed my face. "You wanna know what the fuck I want? I'm starin' right at it," he rasped. "Been starin' at it for so goddamn fuckin’ long that I’ve got no fuckin’ clue what to do without it anymore,” he said. “I've been wantin' you from the goddamn beginning of it all, babe."

"Truth?" I knew it, but considering how long it took him to finally say it, I felt like I needed more reassurances as a ‘just in case’.

He nodded. "Yeah, doll, truth.
Shit,
I wanna be so goddamn deep inside you all the fuckin' time; so goddamn, motherfuckin' deep inside that sweet as fuck pussy that the only cock you'll ever know from now until the end of fuckin' time is my own."

His words were still so crass, and terribly crude, and oh so deliciously audacious. But I still beamed up at him like a ray of sunlight bursting through a set of dark clouds. Even saying it like this, I knew exactly what it meant and it was almost enough. Just, almost.

"
Baby
," he said to me in a quiet voice, unusual for him given how powerful his voice so often was. But it worked in the moment; that quiet, still demeanor. It worked because it's what we both needed, stillness and quiet; a need like that could only come from being with each other. "I realized a lot sooner than I ever wanted to admit that how I fuckin' feel about any and every fuckin' thing to do with you isn't the goddamn problem I used to think it was. It's the motherfuckin' solution to every goddamn problem I never even fuckin' knew I had 'til you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," he replied. "And you know, it's been a long fuckin' time since a woman I wanted to be inside as much as I wanna be inside you right now has called me by my given name like you do." He swiped his thumb back and forth across my mouth and leaned his head. "Fact is, I don't think there's anybody on this goddamn earth I've ever needed to fuck as much as I
need
to fuck you, darlin'. Never in my goddamned life needed a swollen cunt on my cock like I need yours swellin' around mine like..." He slid his thumb inside my mouth and I helplessly sucked on it, imagining the feeling and taste of his cock between my lips instead. "
Shit
,
baby
." He pulled it out before it could swell against my cheeks and slid it down my throat, resting it at the center. Had it been any other man, I would've feared him crushing my windpipe, but with him, God, all I wanted was for him to hold me tighter and hesitate before letting go. "For so goddamn long, I didn't know shit," he said. "Didn't know what the fuck I wanted or even the goddamn truth of who I even was as a man... not 'til I saw you again." His hand dropped to the bottom of my shirt. He wrapped it around his fingers, then slipped his hand inside and held it flat against my stomach. I stopped breathing, but didn't realize it until he leaned in even further. "This club gave me a goddamn purpose in a world I didn't even fuckin' know if I belonged in anymore. A world I didn't even wanna fuckin' live in anymore after it went to complete shit. But you gave me a reason for it. You gave me that somethin' I never fuckin' thought I'd get back in this world again after it flipped over on its goddamn head."

"What's that?"

"Life, darlin', and not just the kind that's about booze and sex, bitches or bikes. The minute you walked back into the club wearin' that short fuckin' skirt and tight fuckin' tank, and stuck around to give me lip about not wantin' to spend any more of your goddamn time inside a 'pussy eatin' playground and shit hole', you gave me my goddamn life back, the kind I wanna start actually livin' again."

"You did the same for me," I said. "Twice now."

He nodded. "Yeah." He swiped his hand back and forth across my stomach and I shivered at the lightness of his touch. I kept my eyes on his face and noticed the whites of his eyes turning red. His face flushed and as his brows crinkled, his fingers seemed to dig deeper and deeper into my skin. It wasn't even a painful feeling. All it seemed to do was elevate my arousal for him, which was heightened the longer he looked at me. "I got a goddamn ache in my chest every fuckin' time I think about you now, babe. It's a good ache, though. The kind I like havin'. The kind that keeps me breathin', lettin' me know I'm still here to see another fuckin' day with you."

"Do you know what it means?"

"Yeah." He bobbed his head and flared his nostrils as he inhaled the air around us. "Yeah, I think I do."

"What?" I was so anxious to hear it. I was so sure of what he was going to say to me in that very moment, but like everything else, I needed to hear the exact words from him.

"I'm nothin' but danger, darlin'. I'm no more than death. I'm somebody that you don't wanna fuckin' mess with in the middle of the goddamn night or even in the daytime. I'm your worst fuckin' nightmare – your greatest enemy. I'm every fuckin' thing you never wished I was and every fuckin' thing you ever wanted me to be."

I paused and peered up at him as if the confusion had been written all over my face with a black pen. "What the hell does all of that even mean?"

He snickered. "It means I'm all those things, babe," he said, "every goddamn fuckin' one of 'em and maybe even a few more I forgot to mention. But even with all that shit combined and then some, you still wanna be with an asshole, motherfucker like me."

"I wish you'd stop saying things like that about yourself."

"It's true, darlin'. And it's okay, 'cause I've learned to accept that part of myself. A motherfucker's who I am, and I'm fine with it, proud even. But it's me knowin' that you're fine with it too that brings on the ache in my chest. Knowin' that in spite of all my shit, and how good you always are, there's nothin' I can say or do that'll push you away from me. Least not for too fuckin' long." He grinned. "I'm in some kinda deep fuckin' love with you, Mia Marie Sullivan. A kinda deep that's been wrapped up somewhere inside my entire fuckin' existence since the mornin' I found you out there in front of my club, babe, just like you said. I'm not sure if what we've got is even good for bein' in a fucked up world like mine. But it's real, babe. Too fuckin' real. I don't think I even understand it well enough to tell you just how fuckin' deep and real that shit is."

"I think I understand it," I said. "Sort of. Maybe because I feel that way too. Maybe because you're the only man that's ever made me feel like I do, and not just right now but all the damn time. I think about you when I should be sleeping and when I'm awake and at the club, I'm always wondering what you're doing and who you're with if you're not there with me or the boys. I want to be all over you and inside you. I want skin on skin, and--" I stopped. I didn't know what the hell I was even saying anymore at that point. I didn't even know if it made an ounce of sense to him, but I knew it’s how I felt, even if those feelings sounded absolutely, positively crazy as hell. "There's an ache inside my chest too and it's been there since before I walked back into your club. I just didn't know what it was until now; until I came back to you, and to this life and your world. Most people would pack up their bags and go home and I've wanted to more than once since coming here, but the truth is that I can't. I can't go home anymore unless you're there with me because you are my home now. You were always my home, Jacob. It just took a little while for me to get back to where I belonged."

"Yeah, babe," he said. "You're my fuckin' home now. And you know how I know? 'Cause it takes a strong fuckin' bit--" He stopped and clamped his teeth together. "It takes a strong fuckin'
woman
to put up with a sick motherfucker like me, my club and my shit for the rest of her goddamn life. And I sure as shit don't think I'll ever find one stronger than the one standin' right in goddamn front of me." He took my hand in his and brought it up to his mouth. "I want you wearin' my patch, and I want that sexy fuckin' ass of yours ridin' not only my cock but on the back of my goddamn bike from now 'til the fuckin' end."

"You keep telling me what you want from me but you won't just give me the only other thing I've been asking for in return."

"What's that, darlin'?"

"You. Here. Now. And so far deep inside me that I can hardly breathe." I brushed my arms across his shoulders and wrapped my hands around his neck. I heard a soft growl come up from deep inside him that sent my entire body into a spasm. His cock remained rock solid against my thigh and as the minutes ticked, I could feel it bursting right through his jeans. "You've made me a thousand promises and I know that you intend to keep every single one of them. Now I just want you to give me this one thing."

"You're beggin' for it, babe," he said with a laugh. "I'm usually not the kinda motherfucker who likes hearin' that shit comin' from a woman of any kind, but...
shit
if it don't sound sexy as fuck comin' from between those goddamn beautiful as fuck lips of yours."

"You said you want me to wear your patch, and to be on the back of your bike. You want me as your 'Old Lady'," I said.

He nodded. "
Yeah
."

I spun my fingers around the soft, open curls of his hair, tilted my head back and said, "Then fuck me like you own me."

Chapter Thirty-Nine

River's hands lowered on my back and he knit his brows. "
Jesus
," he breathed. "What'd the fuck you just say to me, babe?"

I rolled my tongue over my bottom lip and pulled it into my mouth. "I said I want you to fuck me like you own me."

"
Shiiiiiiit.
" He slid his hands up my back and inside my shirt, and while unhooking my bra, he dipped my body beneath his to pull me closer to him. "That's what I fuckin' thought you said."

My arms tightened around him as he walked me back over to the bed. As soon as my legs hit the edge, I dropped down to it and instinctively reached out for and unbuckled and unzipped his pants. I was more eager than anything. More eager and desperate and willing and wanting, but I was done waiting. I was completely and officially done with waiting for this man to give me what I needed by that point. He was mine and I was going to show him just how much of that was true, for the both of us.

I turned my eyes up to his and bit down hard on my lip as a smirk tugged at the corners of my mouth. His glare was intense, unbelievably blistering hot; it shot a blaze of fire throughout my entire body and landed right between my thighs.