Infinite Love (38 page)

‘I don’t believe you,’ I uttered, feeling the vice around my heart tightening. ‘He
loves
me.’

‘No, he just thought he did. You know why he was with you for so long? You know what blinded him to the truth? You reminded him so much of his
precious
mum. He told me that last night, Mia. He said he thought if he could get you pregnant and have you give birth to his child, it would absolve him of all the remaining guilt he had. But you added to that, along with his self-hatred, and hurt him even more by having a series of failed pregnancy attempts, then finally offering him what he wanted and losing it.’

‘Stop,’ I begged as the tears overwhelmed me. She was vocalising every fear I’d had about why Gabe reacted so irrationally about wanting me to get pregnant. ‘Just
stop
.’

‘It took me pointing this out to him, to make him realise his mistake in being with you.
I
cured him. So thanks. You helped him realise that he wanted
me
, all along. I must arrange a thank you bouquet,’ she smirked, quoting my old words to her back at me. ‘Now leave us alone please, you’re not welcome here anymore. He’ll arrange to have your stuff cleared out and returned to you soon.’ She smiled at me as I sobbed and started to close the front door on me. Through the gap I caught a glimpse of Gabe walking out of the bathroom, with just a tiny towel around his waist and then he was gone. I was left staring at our white front door. He hadn’t just cheated on me, he’d cheated on me in our own home, probably in our own bed. I ran back to Lexi’s, locked myself in and howled as my heart imploded. I just couldn’t comprehend how he could do this to me. I immediately packed my suitcase with shaking hands and called a taxi to take me to the railway station then wrote Lexi a note. As I got on the train my phone started ringing. The second I saw it was him, I turned it off, I couldn’t bear to see his face appear on the caller ID let alone speak to him.

It was late afternoon when I arrived back in Toddlesworth. I’d rung Mum as I was packing this morning to ask if I could come and stay, telling her that I needed to talk. Of course she’d said yes immediately. We’d just spent a couple of hours in the lounge where I’d filled them in on everything, but Chelsea.

 ‘I still can’t believe he holds you responsible, Mia,’ sighed Mum as she repeated it for about the sixth time.

‘I have to say I’m very disappointed in him. I really didn’t think he could treat you like this, Princess, not after everything you’ve been through together,’ agreed Gerry.

‘Me neither,’ I shrugged as I bit my lip.

‘Are you sure you’ll be ok while we’re at work tomorrow?’

‘I’m sure Mum. I’ll get a taxi and may go into town and see if Mandy’s free to meet me for lunch.’ She was the only one who still worked in Toddlesworth itself, as a hair dresser. I shoved Mr. Biggles away with my foot as he tried to nip me, quickly tucking my feet up on the sofa.

‘Well, I’ll be home at about six, what do you fancy for dinner?’

‘I’ll cook for you,’ I offered.

‘O crap,’ groaned Gerry and I thumped his arm.

‘I’ll have you know that I actually have some skills now, thank you very much.’

‘Beans on toast it is then,’ he chuckled.

‘Ignore him, cheese on toast will be fine, no need to work out a complete can opener,’ laughed Mum.

‘You guys,’ I laughed, before I sighed. ‘Thank you.’

‘For what?’ asked Mum.

‘Treating me like normal.’

‘Well, I learned the hard way last time that if my little girl isn’t ready to talk, she isn’t ready to talk and I shouldn’t push. You know where we are if you do.’ She kissed my forehead and I headed up to bed. As I snuggled down I turned my phone on to text Lexi and saw seven missed calls, three answer machine messages and two texts from Gabe. I stared at them trying to decide if I wanted to listen to them and as I held my phone his face appeared as it started ringing again, it was him. I felt my blood boil, closed my eyes and took a calming breath. No
way
was I speaking to him. He could forget it. I waiting for the ringing to stop and sent him a text.

I don’t know why you’re ringing me to tell me that it’s over. Don’t worry, I already got the message loud and clear. I never believed you could ever hurt me the way that you have Gabe. I guess I never was your forever girl after all and I’d better start looking for a new engine. When I’ve calmed down I’ll come and move my stuff out. Please don’t contact me again. Mia.

I turned my phone off, curled up and pulled the duvet over my head and started crying again.

When I turned my phone on the next morning, I had another eighteen missed calls, four answer machine messages and a text from him. I deleted them all immediately and turned my phone off again, deciding to go and get a new pay as you go one so I could avoid him. Besides, the last thing I wanted was him tracking me down through my GPS and coming to see me. I wasn’t even sure why he was so desperate to talk to me in person to tell me it was over. Maybe he needed to do it for closure, to make himself feel better, well I decided that I wasn’t going to let him off the hook that easily.

I headed into town and went straight to get a new pre-charged phone, then called in at Starbucks for a latte and a piece of supposedly healthy, but still loaded with delicious calories, frosted carrot cake. I waited for my coffee and went to the self service station to add some extra sugar. I could afford to splurge, I’d not eaten all that well since I lost the baby and needed to gain a few pounds. I spun around, straight into someone, splatting my carrot cake all over his pale blue shirt.

‘O my God, I’m
so
sorry,’ I gasped as I quickly put my coffee and the plate with the remains of my squashed cake down.

‘Don’t worry, these things happen.’

‘Here,’ I announced as I grabbed a load of napkins and started trying to wipe his shirt down, noticing what a toned stomach he had. ‘It should come out, I’ll pay for the dry cleaning bill or a replacement shirt.’

‘Don’t worry about it, Mia.’ Fingers circled my wrist and I felt my stomach flutter at the sound of my name said in such a sexy tone. I looked up at the blond haired, blue eyed, gorgeous man in front of me.

‘Tyler?’ I gulped.

‘Well, I always hoped that I’d run into you again, I just didn’t figure it would be like this.’

‘I’m so sorry, I was so excited to sit and eat it that I wasn’t looking where I was going.’

‘Carrot cake gets you that excited?’ he smiled.

‘Don’t tell everyone, but it’s their frosting, it’s
amazing,
’ I whispered and put my index finger on my lips.

‘Your guilty secret is safe with me,’ he laughed. ‘So what brings you back home?’

‘I just finished Uni and needed a break, to get away for a while.’

‘You never called me,’ he chastised. Reminding me of the last time I’d seen him and he’d given me his number.

‘I got married,’ I shrugged and flashed him my left hand.

‘O yes, I did hear,’ he replied, with a frown.

‘We’re sort of on a break,’ I said quickly.
Why did I just tell him that?
I wondered. Lexi, Mum and Gerry were the only ones that had heard it from my lips.

‘God, I’m really sorry to hear that, Mia. Listen, I was just getting a spoon to stir my drink. Why don’t I get you a replacement piece of carrot cake, you can join me and we can catch up.’

‘Tyler … I …’ I bit my lip as I frowned.

‘It’s just coffee and cake, Mia. I’m not asking you out on a date.’

‘Ok then,’ I nodded. ‘But let me get the cake and I’ll get you another coffee, it’s probably cold now.’

‘Trust me, with my job cold coffee is the normal. Go and sit there, the table by the pillar. I’ll get your cake, you don’t want them thinking you’ve got a cake addiction.’

‘Thanks,’ I giggled. I went and took a seat and sipped my coffee as I tried to study him from afar, without being obvious. It was nearly two years since I’d last seen him, that night in the pub. I cocked my head to check out his backside as he stood at the till paying. He was still in shape, excellent shape from what I could see. I felt myself blush as he looked around and smiled at me, a dazzling smile. God damn it. Why did I have to run into the one other man in the Universe that made my mind and body react?
You’re still married Mia Page,
I thought, then mentally slapped myself. I’d already reverted back to Page, what did that say about my marriage? Then I suddenly felt guilty. What would Gabe think if he saw me sitting here? Drinking with Tyler? There again, he hadn’t given me much thought when he went out for a cosy foursome with Chelsea, Doug and Sarah, before taking that bitch back to our own bed. He’d admitted that if we were ever over he’d run to her, that she was his sexual crutch, and he had. I wasn’t doing anything wrong, I was just having coffee with an old friend. A friend I used to have the hots for. A friend I
still
had the hots for. I watched him walk with manly confidence back toward me, turning a few heads as he did.

‘I had to convince the woman in front that the Blueberry muffin was far tastier, so that you could have the last piece of cake,’ he smiled.

‘Wow, talented surgeon and a charmer.’

‘Who said I was a talented surgeon?’ he laughed.

‘You strike me as someone who succeeds in anything he really wants, once he sets his mind to it.’

‘There is that,’ he smiled as he sipped his coffee. ‘Hmmm, luke warm, what a luxury. Thank God you ran into me or I may have been ruined for life with high coffee expectations.’

‘So how have you been?’ I asked as I savoured my first bite of cake.

‘Busy, I spend most of my time at the hospital. It’s not a job for those shy of hard work and long hours.’

‘But you enjoy it?’

‘Love it. How about you? Was it English you were doing?’

‘Yes, I actually got a first class honours degree.’

‘Congratulations. I feel like I should have got you something more than a piece of lousy cake.’

‘There’s nothing lousy about this cake at all,’ I gasped. ‘Here, try some.’ I held out my fork and he took the piece between his teeth, then licked his lips and I blushed again.

‘Hmmm, that
is
good. So, what career do you plan on embarking on?’

‘I sort of already have one.’

‘You “sort of” have one?’ he looked at me curiously.

‘Are you judgemental?’

‘I’d like to think not.’

‘I co-own a Gentleman’s private club in Westhampton. I manage it and I teach lap dancing, pole dancing and striptease.’ I laughed as he spurted a load of coffee down his shirt. ‘Now you
have
to let me get you a new shirt.’

‘You’re a … a …’

‘Stripper? Not really. I did a few months pole dancing, nothing nude. I really loved it, but my husband … Gabe didn’t like me dancing with other men watching me. So we opened the club and now I teach the dancers and offer classes. It’s not one of your sleazy dives. It’s very upmarket.’

‘I … I, errrr …’ he rubbed his mouth as he stared at me.

‘I’ve shocked you.’

‘Yes, I just … Phew, I don’t know what I expected, certainly not that. Do you enjoy it?’

‘I prefer the dancing side of it, but yes, running a business in the entertainment industry like that is fun. Have you ever been to a private club?’

‘Yes, a couple of times on Batchelor parties, but I never found them “upmarket,” quite the opposite,’ he laughed.

‘You were in the wrong places then.’ I finished my cake and jolted as he leaned over and swept his thumb over the corner of my lip.

‘Frosting,’ he advised as he stuck his thumb in his mouth and sucked it clean. I gulped. I felt that sensuous suck in places I shouldn’t have. ‘How long are you home for?’

‘I’m not sure,’ I shrugged. ‘A few weeks I guess. I can run the business from anywhere with Wi-Fi, and a friend is taking my classes for me.’

‘We should meet again, I’m sorry to have to cut this short, but I really need to get to the hospital.’

‘You want to meet up?’ I looked at him surprised.

‘Again, not a date Mia,’ he smiled. ‘Just coffee or a drink to catch up properly when I have time.’

‘Ok, I’d like that,’ I nodded. I gave up trying to work out how to use my new phones contact list, so he took it off me and sussed it himself, programming his number in and taking mine as we continued to chat. I drained my coffee and we both stood up and walked out into the sunshine together.

‘Well, I’m going that way,’ he advised, nodding in the opposite direction to me.

‘That way for me,’ I smiled. ‘Again, I’m so sorry about your shirt. Please let me have the dry cleaning bill.’

‘Don’t worry about it. And Mia, … I’m …’ he frowned as he blew out a deep breath. ‘I just wanted to say how sorry I was to read about your …’ he stalled and rubbed his mouth again.

‘You saw that?’ I blew out a breath this time, and nodded. ‘Of course you did. Mum said it was big news here, in my home town.’

‘It was. I thought about you for a long time after that, hoping you were ok.’

‘Thanks, it was rough for a while, but I’m doing ok now.’

‘Glad to hear it. I’ll call you soon,’ he smiled and leaned in to kiss my cheek. I closed my eyes and felt my stomach flutter again. Just having some form of attention and affection from a man, when I was feeling so undesirable and worthless, was heady.

‘I’d like that,’ I smiled. ‘Now go, save lives,’ I ordered pointing down the street. He laughed and walked away and I watched his sexy backside moving for a moment as I bit my lip, then shook myself off and turned around to head to the indoor shopping centre for some retail therapy. I frowned as I heard a noise in my bag. I opened it to hear “I’m Sexy and I know it” playing, and pulled it out to look at the name of the person calling.

‘Who the hell’s McDreamy?’ I muttered, then burst out laughing as I realised I only had one person’s number in my phone so far. ‘Tyler?’ I answered.

‘I thought it was cute,’ he laughed as he heard me still giggling.

‘The ring tone or the name?’

‘Both. The name in particular.’

‘It was very cute, though I have to admit I was more a McSteamy fan.’

‘So it’s the body over the hair?’