Inferno (8 page)

The comment drew several quiet snickers. Even Jackson, who was still relatively wet behind the ears, fought to hide a knowing smile. Seeing that, Sebastian tilted his head in interest. Maybe the new kid would prove himself useful after all. He swung his gaze back to Marx as the director shifted in his seat. Tension thrummed through him, as their commander pinned his partner with a calculating stare. There was a strong measure of truth to the saying “no good deed goes unpunished.” That was the standard with Marx rather than the exception, and the look he leveled on the man seated beside Sebastian warned his attempts to add a little humor and levity to their lives would not go unanswered.

“Are you finished yet?”

Sebastian winced, unable to help wondering how much of Josh’s ribbing was going to blow back on him. Marx was riding his ass hard enough about his team’s performance lately as it was.

Josh sobered in an instant. “Yes, sir, Marx. Very.”

“Good to know.” He cleared his throat, as if the action could somehow erase his momentary loss of control over the room. “That brings us to the final item of discussion. This organization will be going through some critical changes in the next few weeks. As you are all aware, SKALS has great potential. It’s time we stop contenting ourselves with comfortable and start reaching for the heights we are capable of, gentlemen.”

Sebastian’s eyes locked with Vince’s across the table. His heartbeat throbbed in his temples and his stomach clenched. It took a vast amount of effort to still the tremble of anxiety racing through him as he listened to Marx’s deep voice drone in his ears.

“Our field operations and outdoor training will expand. I realize this means more time and energy on your behalves, but the end results will be worth the cost. We have new equipment coming in that will aid in this process and perhaps add some enjoyment and variety to the experience as well.”

“What do you mean by expansion?” Bradley asked.

Sebastian studied the man. It wasn’t often his stocky teammate spoke up, and he couldn’t help but wonder about the sudden show of interest. Bradley’s usual M.O. was to lay low and cling to the adage that out of sight meant out of mind. Until now, that course of action had worked fairly well. Unfortunately, all traces of anonymity had just faded. As far as Sebastian was concerned, the man had just painted a glaring bull’s eye on his back. His eyes narrowed.

“For starters, we will be branching out more within your local communities. There’s been some new rules and regulations passed regarding the Patriot Act, and I see no reason why we can’t lend our local agencies a hand in seeing that these laws are being enforced.”

The bacon and egg croissant he’d scarfed down for breakfast threatened to reemerge. So did the steady stream of coffee he’d been ingesting all morning. Clenching his jaw, Sebastian fought against the rise of gorge in the base of his throat. Community action was a swift and decisive step in the wrong direction, and he couldn’t help but wonder what that would mean for the unsuspecting civilians around them. It was all happening too fast. The entire situation was spiraling completely out of control.

His troubled gaze swung to Marx as the director stood. His bulk cast a looming shadow across the table and the bold details of the skull and cross bone insignia burnt into the wood. Sebastian swallowed, not missing the ironic symbolism in the moment.

“Keep me updated, gentlemen. Enjoy your weekends.”

The thought almost made him laugh. Rising to his feet took effort. Catching his eyes, Josh offered an amenable shrug.

“Could have been worse,” he stated.

“I’m not so sure about that.”

“Come on, Baas. Expansion. New shit. A stronger community awareness and presence. What’s not to like? Maybe our pay will bump up a few scales as well.”

He studied his partner for a long moment as the rest of the team filed through the doors. The dread that settled over his chest was almost suffocating. Pushing his chair back in, he searched his partner’s eyes.

“We make more than enough as it is, Josh,” he stated softly.

“Yeah. I know that, Baas. I was just trying to look at the bright side of things here.”

He nodded and trailed a finger over the stitching adorning the back of the leather chair. “Do you really see SKALS branching through the community and doing door to door sweeps as a good thing?” he asked, without lifting his gaze.

A hesitant pause lingered between them as Josh thought things over. Sighing, he raked a hand through his dark hair and shrugged. “Look. I don’t know what the right answer here is, Baas. What I do know is we’ve been trained to follow orders without raising questions. Going against that now isn’t going to do either one of us any good.”

“You know what we are, Josh. You know what we do.”

“Yeah…I get that. But this isn’t about everyone else. It’s about protecting ourselves and our families.” Backing toward the door, Josh cast his arms open. “It seems like a pretty simple choice if you ask me.”

He stared after his partner for a long moment before lowering his head with a sorrowful shake. Josh was right. It
should
have been a simple choice—but in the end—it really wasn’t.

~*~*~*~

Taylor stirred, sensing she was no longer alone. Struggling to sit up, she smoothed her hands over her hair and straightened the blanket as her eyes darted around the room, trying to assess how long she’d been sleeping. The day had been as boring as it was long. There was only so much daytime television a person could stomach before they wanted to gouge their eyes out or stuff their ears full of cotton. By three, she’d opted to shut off the madness and lose herself between the pages of a book, but the small print made her head throb and the hours had continued to creep by.

She glanced up as Sebastian’s broad shoulders and lean form filled the doorway. The soft golden light spilling from the hall fell across his shoulders and played on the damp auburn highlights of his curls as he leaned against the archway and studied her. Gone was the long scruff that had covered his cheeks. A respectable five o’clock shadow stretched across his upper lip and chin in its stead, and the warm, chocolaty scent of his body spray lingered in the room between them. The sight of him filled her with an instant longing to close the distance and ease the loneliness that had consumed her for most of the day.

“I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s okay. I’m glad you’re home.” Smiling, she patted the seat beside her. He didn’t budge.

“Did you eat yet?”

Picking at the corner of the blanket, she lowered her eyes and shrugged. “Not yet. I was going to call something in, but I must’ve nodded off.”

His stare grew heavy and scrutinizing, but he said nothing. Searching for a way to break the silence, Taylor slowly released the breath she’d been holding.

“How was work?”

It seemed rhetorical given his mood, but it was all she had.

“It was a day,” he said, crossing the room.

Her wide eyes swung up to his as he settled onto the edge of the chaise lounge beside her. The muscles along his jawline twitched as he traced a finger over the top of her hand.

“Please, don’t ask about work right now, baby. We can talk about anything. Anything else at all, just not Marx and SKALS. I need somewhere, where even if just for a minute, I don’t have to think about them.”

He looked so lost and alone. Deep lines creased his forehead, and there was a lingering fear in his eyes that scared the hell out of her. Her throat tightened with her nod. Whatever it was, it wasn’t good. Wrapping her hands around his, she gave them an affectionate squeeze. “Okay.”

Open relief washed over him, softening his handsome features. Leaning in, he caught her chin and stole a slow, drugging kiss. When he pulled back, he managed a trace of the dimpled smile that she’d come to crave.

“I don’t know about you,” he murmured, “but I’m starving.”

His stomach rumbled loudly, as if on cue, prompting them both to laugh.

“Nice one, Seb,” she teased, nudging his hip.

His expression hardened, but there was a definite sparkle in his eye as he leaned over her and rested his forehead against hers. “Watch it, darling. Sooner or later, you will be feeling better and there will be no baby between us acting as a buffer.”

She shivered at the husky menace in his voice. “That sounded an awful lot like a threat, Agent Baas.”

Releasing a low chuckle, he tipped her face toward his. “Have you learned nothing in our time together? I don’t make threats, Taylor. Only promises.”

Flushing a little, she hung her head.

“Get up,” he said, patting her thigh. “If nothing else, you can keep me company while I whip us up something to eat.”

A small niggling of guilt haunted her as she padded into the kitchen after him. It wasn’t so much that he was cooking; Sebastian often shared in the meal prep and clean up if he was home. It was more the feeling of uselessness hanging over her head. Lingering uncertainly in the broad arch between the kitchen and the hall leading to the dining room, she watched the play of the muscles in his back as he rummaged through the refrigerator.

“Sebastian, let me help. Let me do something. Please?”

“I didn’t ask you to come in here and badger me, Taylor. All you need to worry about is getting better. Either sit down and talk to me or go lay back down.”

Securing the packages of sausage and mushrooms cradled in his arm, he nudged the refrigerator door shut.

“I feel fine,” she said, unable to mask the raw pleading in her voice.

He dropped the contents onto the gleaming granite countertop and froze. She swallowed seeing his knuckles whiten as he gripped the ledge.

“Why do you always do this?” he asked quietly. “Why do you have to argue and push? Why can’t you just sit back and let someone take care of you? What are you so damn afraid of?”

Her mouth opened and closed around a silent denial. Frowning, she crossed the room and settled onto one of the bistro chairs seated at the breakfast table. Her brow furrowed as she gave the question serious merit. Twisting the stretchy hem of her tee, she squirmed as Sebastian’s expectant gaze bore into her. Tension thrummed between them as he moved on and started chopping the ground sausage in the skillet with a spatula.

“I guess…” She started then faltered as he glanced up. “I guess I’m afraid of becoming a burden.”

“That makes no sense, Taylor,” he said dryly.

“Yes it does. You just don’t understand. You’ve never been in that position.”

He set the spatula down with a little more force than was necessary. “Haven’t I? There was a time not too long ago when you were waiting on me hand and foot. I couldn’t get out of bed. I couldn’t fend for myself in any way, shape, or form after that explosion. Is that what you thought of me?” he asked. “Was I a
burden
?”

“Well, no, but…”

“Come here,” he ordered, pointing to the spot in front of him.

Hugging herself, she made the slow trek across the kitchen. Unable to help it, she winced when he reached for her chin.

“Quit lying,” Sebastian warned, his fingers firm along her jaw. “If you’re going to offer an explanation, at least be honest with me and yourself. What are you so afraid of, Taylor?”

“I…” Tears threatened and she bit the insides of her cheeks with the hopes the pain would help her hold herself together.

“Spit it out!”

“I don’t know! Maybe it’s stupid, but I always find myself wondering if I had just done more for myself or to help my mom out then maybe—maybe she wouldn’t have left. If I hadn’t been such a financial strain on my uncle growing up then maybe he could of…” She trailed off and choked down the knot building in her throat. The last words came out quiet and strained. “Maybe he could have loved me. Maybe they wouldn’t have done those things and tried to set me up.”

Sebastian winced. As the words struck home, his face slowly crumpled and he pulled her into his arms. Holding on tight, Taylor buried her nose against the fragrant warmth of his chest and held on for dear life. She refused to let the tears fall but was unable to quell the pained tremors running through her.

“Shh,” he soothed, stroking one hand over the back of her head as the other smoothed over her spine. “Don’t. You can’t think like that. Don’t do that to yourself, Taylor.”

“I can’t help it,” she said, pulling back.

Sebastian cradled her face firmly between his hands. His eyes were stern and beseeching as they locked with hers. “Listen to me,” he ordered. “Those people didn’t deserve you, baby. I know it’s hard to hear because it’s your family and they’re all you’ve ever known, but that’s not what family does. That’s not love. You don’t use the people you care about or walk away because things get difficult. I’m sorry you had to go through that, but you need to get it through your head that that’s not me. I’m never going to walk away from you, Taylor.
Never
, and I’m sure as hell not going to give you up just because we hit a few bumps along the way.”

“I know,” she whispered.

A sad smile plied his lips and he shook his head. “No, baby. You don’t. If you did, you would trust me. You would believe what this ring stands for,” he said, stroking the thick platinum and diamond band. “You’d believe in me and the promises I’ve made you.”

“Sebby…”

He silenced her with a gentle forefinger. “Just hear me out. I haven’t had the easiest time in life either. My family has been dysfunctional, broken, and ripped apart time and time again. Maybe it’s hard for you to understand, but it’s nice to think that I’m needed once in a while too. I do a
lot
of taking in this relationship, Taylor. Please don’t fight me when I try to give something back.”

“You do a lot of giving,” she argued.

“Have I? I’ve bought you things to try to express my affection, but it’s not about the money with you. It never has been. It took me a while to understand and accept that, but it’s true. With you, it’s all about the actions and what people do. You treasure the little things, Taylor. Let me do them for you. Believe it or not, I enjoy it.”

Sighing, she shrugged. “Okay. I’ll try.”