Infatuation- Harmless Military 7 (8 page)

“Now, you going to tell me why you look like this?”

She waved her hand at him.

“Bad assignment?”

She tsked. “More than that, I am sure. You brought some ghosts back with you.”

He nodded, knowing there would be no denying to Anna Louise. She wouldn’t allow for it.

“I’ll not ask you what is bothering you. Not yet. You tell that girl of mine when you’re ready.”

“How does everyone know about that?”

She rolled her eyes. “What am I, stupid? Seriously, Francis, you follow her around like a puppy dog when you visit. Her brother and his friend are here at my house to stay, but not you. I know my girl has sex.”

He cleared his throat. “I really don’t want to talk about it.”

She made a disgusted sound that he had heard a time or two from Mal. “Oh, the poor little Seal is afraid of his lover’s mother.” She shook her head. “Don’t you talk sex with your mother?”

“Good God, no.” He couldn’t keep the horror out of his voice.

“Hmm, well, that might be your problem. Either way, know I do not judge. Just be careful, that’s all I ask.”

He looked into the eyes so similar to Shannon’s and nodded. “I will do my best, Anna Louise.”

She smiled then and patted his hand. “I promised that boy of mine some cornbread and fried catfish. I need help in the kitchen. You up to the challenge?”

Another thing his parents didn’t know about him. He loved to cook. It had come about mainly because his parents would forget to cook. So Kade had taken over. With Anna Louise, though, he had learned so much, and she loved having him in the kitchen.

He nodded. “I’d love to.”

· · · · ·

Shannon looked over the schedule for the next two weeks and sighed. She only had three more days, and the guys had to go back to Virginia. She wasn’t in the mood to deal with the feelings that brought about, but in the last three days since Kade had returned to her bed, she had been unable to ignore them. She hadn’t pushed him, hadn’t tried to. It overwhelmed her a bit too much, but it was growing every day. She wanted to ask what he wanted from her other than sex.

She didn’t, though. She knew that at the moment, he was doing better, but asking questions like that would be too much. Whatever happened on the mission had really hurt him. She had to give him time to heal, then they could deal with what was going on between them. The nightmares were bad, she knew without being told. And seriously, there was another reason she hadn’t pushed him.

She was being a coward.

She could wrap it up in the package of giving him time or the idea that they were living in the moment, but it wasn’t that. She didn’t push because she didn’t want to lose him.

And that was pitiful.

“You going to take the night off again?” Simon asked. She heard the disapproval in his voice.

“Yes. They’re leaving tomorrow. I don’t have that much time left with Kade.”

“What’s going on between you two?”

She knew what he wanted but instead she took the chicken’s way out. “I don’t think I have to explain sex to you, do I? I thought you understood all forms of it.”

He frowned and shut the door behind him before sitting down in the chair in front of her desk. “I want to know what the hell is going to happen when he leaves.”

“You and me both.”

“You haven’t discussed it?” he asked.

“We haven’t had time to do that. Really.”

Simon rolled his eyes. “Really? You’re having that much sex?”

She stared at him blankly.

“Oh, now I am jealous.” Then he frowned. “Stop trying to get me off the subject.

“You’re the one who brought up sex, not me. And just so you know, Kade doesn’t swing that way.”

“Shannon.”

She heard the reprimand in his voice. “What is it you’re getting at?”

“I know he needs some help, probably has PTSD from that last mission. He’s jumpy, more than usual. But, honey, you need to give yourself the right to ask for more.”

“What do you mean?”

“You have always gone for what you wanted. In work, in life, with every man other than this one. You are letting him call the shots.”

“Believe me, it’s worth it.”

“Again, stop trying to distract me with sex. You’re trying to help him over what he’s dealing with.”

She frowned. “I don’t know what he’s really dealing with.”

“You haven’t talked about it.”

She shook her head “I told you, it’s only been a couple of days.”

“And you think this is going to help you? Help him? I can tell by looking at him that he needs help.”

“Of course he does, but do you think one of those damned Seals have spoken to me?” she asked, her voice rising. “The only thing I got out of Mal was that they lost someone, that Mal was knocked unconscious, and that’s it. None of them say anything except that it was a really bad mission.”

By the time she finished, she realized how loud she had gotten. The silence was almost deafening.

“Okay, so maybe they aren’t ready to talk. You don’t know what happened, might never. Remember, my dad was Special Forces. There are just some things they are never going to tell you. But what are you going to ask from Kade?”

Everything.

The word whispered through her mind, but she didn’t say it. If she did, it wouldn’t come true. She knew she was being a coward, but she had to be careful around him. Pushing him after such a traumatic situation was too much.

She opened her mouth, but Simon shook his head. “Don’t say a word. I know. Just make sure that at some point, you tell him what you want. He might be hurting now, but believe me, Kade’s a Seal. He can handle a few demands from you. It might be good for both of you.”

When Simon finally left her alone, she realized that there was some truth to what he had been saying. She had been holding back, and she normally wouldn’t. Yes, he had only been back in her life for less than a week, and their relationship had come out of a friendship. Because she had known him for years, it seemed like a long time, but it wasn’t. Their sexual relationship had only been a few nights. Demanding an answer wasn’t smart. It wasn’t something she even wanted. Shannon knew men, she knew herself even better. She wouldn’t be happy to be pushed at a time like this if she were suffering. She would give him what he needed and wait. Someday, she’d make sure he understood he had to make a choice.

She just hoped she could hold out that long.

Kade had been feeling antsy all evening. He couldn’t really put his finger on it. It was as if something was crawling under his skin, urging him to some kind of action. The docs told him he would have times like this. Kade had been pretty sure the physicians had lost their minds until he came to see Shannon.

He wanted to say it was anything but the woman across the table from him. Shannon had brought home dinner from her bar, and they’d eaten by candlelight. Rain was pattering on the roof again, and there were soft blues filtering through the house. It should have been romantic. It was. Beyond romantic. She was sitting there, a smile on her face, looking like the woman of his dreams. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that something really bad was about to happen.

He hated to think it was Shannon. He wanted her so much he thought he would die if he didn’t touch her. At the same time, he hated himself for that. It made no sense. Any man would be happy to sit in his place and have this woman across the table smiling at him as if he were the best man on earth. He couldn’t face it, didn’t want to. It was their last night together, and he didn’t want to ruin it with stupid thoughts.

“You done?” she asked, no reprimand in her voice.

He nodded, knowing he had been a bad dinner companion. And that irritated him more. She said nothing as she picked up the plates and took them to her sink. He watched her wash them off, then place them in the dishwasher. He was ruining the little time they had left. He was being a moody ass.

He brushed the thoughts away and rose to follow her to the sink. He stepped up behind her and placed a hand on the counter on either side of her. She stilled then leaned back against him with a purr.

“Are you back with the living?”

“Sorry.”

She turned and met his gaze directly.

“Don’t be. I told you, I understand. Mal does it sometimes. Dad did, every now and then. He was in Vietnam the last few years we were over there, and when I was younger, I remember he would get quiet every now and then. I realized later it was after he heard from one of his old military buddies.” She rose to her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. “Don’t worry so much.”

The worries he did have disappeared in that kiss. It was not a sexy kiss, one that would tempt him to bed, or it wasn’t meant that way. Her reassurance was more than he had expected, more than he deserved. He said nothing but reached over and turned off the water.

“Come on,” he said, taking her by the hand. He led her back to her room, ready to make sure that tonight would be a night that neither of them would forget. The only light in the room was the small bedside table lamp on a low setting. Just like the woman, the room was sexy. Cool colors draped the windows, covered her bed, but it was the fabrics, the velvets and satins, that pulled him in. They weren’t flowery or even overly feminine, but they were definitely sexy.

He released her and went to the dresser to retrieve the bag he’d hid by it. He’d done some shopping today, and he wanted to play. When he had laid the contents of the bag out, he turned to face her.

“I think you have too many clothes on.”

She didn’t look at him at first. Her gaze was latched onto the toys.

“Shannon. Look at me.” She raised her gaze to his. She was worried, that was for sure. They had talked about anal sex, but had not attempted it. Tonight he wanted to show her just how much she would like it.

She undressed slowly, folding her clothes and placing them on the chair beside her dresser. If he was antsy before, he was downright ready to come undone at the moment. The soft light caressed her curves. That body…it was as if God made her for him. He undressed himself then stepped closer to her, slipping his arms around her and pulling her against him.

He bent his head and brushed his mouth over hers. His entire body reacted to the kiss. His heart sped up, his dick twitched, and his head seemed to float. Shannon would probably always do this to him. He stepped back and cupped her breast, grazing the tip of her nipple with his thumb. She was so fucking responsive.

“You better get on the bed before I lose control.”

She smiled as if she didn’t believe him but did as he ordered. He removed the toys from the bag and opened the tube of lube and coated the anal plug with it. “We talked about this before, and I bought the smallest one.”

When he turned and faced her, he knew she would be wary. She wanted to try it, wanted to let him do what he wanted. In the last three nights, there was one thing he had learned. Shannon loved to let him take control. She was a woman who had complete control in her life, but she wanted someone else to take over in the bedroom. He approached the bed.

“Roll over, baby.”

She hesitated, but did as he ordered.

“Remember your safe word if it gets too intense for you.”

He slipped the toy between her ass cheeks. She immediately tensed up.

“Take a deep breath and then release it slowly.”

She did as he ordered, and he started easing the plug into her. He moved slowly, making sure not to hurt her. When he finally pressed it past the last ring of muscle, he let go of a breath he hadn’t known he was holding.

“How does that feel?”

“Odd.”

He smiled. “Turn over, but be careful.”

When she was once again on her back, he went to the dresser and picked up the vibrator. “You know the rules. No coming without permission. If you do, I bought a special crop to punish you with.”

She shivered, and he knew that excited her. He could just imagine slapping that generous flesh of hers with the butt plug up her ass. It was just too bad he wouldn’t have time to fuck her ass. He loved it and knew she would too, but it was too soon for something like that. She wasn’t ready.

He turned the vibrator on and slipped it between her legs as he bent his head and took a nipple into his mouth. She gasped when he bit down lightly on the nipple. He did the same to her other breast then rose to his knees. With his free hand, he offered her his cock.

“Take me in, baby. Suck me.”

She easily complied. Shannon loved to give head, and holy shit, her mouth should be considered a lethal weapon. She slid her tongue up one side, then over the tip and down again. As she continued to tease him, she caressed his sac. God, he loved that. He usually had tight control on his sexuality, but with Shannon, he barely kept it under control. Part of it was the attraction he felt for her, the almost overwhelming need to succumb to the need that strengthened every day. He couldn’t seem to understand just how she did it, how with her, he always had to hold onto his control.

He pulled back as he felt his orgasm approaching. Not yet, not when he wanted to push her to her limits.

“You can be so naughty, Shannon.”

She smiled up at him, then it faded when he increased the vibrator’s speed one more level, then pressed it into her pussy. The moan she gave him was one of the sweetest sounds he’d heard in a good long time.

“Remember, you aren’t allowed to come. Not without my permission. You do, and I can promise you that you’ll regret it.”

With every word, his voice deepened and his lust was easy to hear. He was sure she heard it too.

“You are such a responsive sub. I wish we had more time to visit a club. I have a feeling you would like a little public play, wouldn’t you?”

He could just imagine her there, with people watching them, having him spank her. He adjusted the vibrator, giving himself room to dip his head down between her legs. As he continued to hold the toy firm, he pulled her clit into his mouth. She moaned then, and he could tell she was close, that she was barely holding onto her control. Usually, before her, and mainly before tonight, he would push a submissive to the edge, but not over it. He always wanted to show her that she was under her control. But the punishment he had in mind had him pushing her up and over. Kade knew he was going to send her over the edge, but he wanted her to know that she was his.

He flipped a switch higher and pulled her clit between his teeth. She was fighting it. But one more graze of his teeth, and she screamed through her orgasm. She bucked so hard she pushed him off her.

Moments later, he turned off the vibrator and pulled it from between her legs. He leaned down and pushed damp curls away from her face.

“Like I said, you’re a naughty girl. Do you know what I do to naughty women?”

She shook her head.

“You’re about to find out. Get up on your knees, put your hands on the headboard and show me that pretty ass of yours.”

He moved from the bed and placed the vibrator on the top of the dresser. Joining her back on the bed, he had to hide a smile. She was ready to take him on from the scowl on her face. She wasn’t happy with him. He knew he hadn’t been fair. His prerogative.

He slid the crop over her flesh, and he felt the desire surging through him. He liked the way she shivered, the way she reacted. In the past, he had subs who tried to hide their emotions from him. She never did. The connection they’d both felt from the first time they met was always there.

“Now, you might not agree with my methods. I know I’m your first Dom, but I’ve been a little easy on you. Really easy. If…”

He stopped himself. He couldn’t talk about the time they wouldn’t have. Their agreement had been to live in the moment.

He gave her little pats with the end of the crop. Shannon wiggled her ass at him, and he couldn’t help but laugh.

“You really haven’t learned how to behave as a sub, have you?”

She turned her head to apparently answer him, but he wasn’t waiting for an answer. He pulled back the crop and smacked her. The gasp was loud, quick, and so damned erotic.

He smacked her harder and harder, making sure that no part of her ass was untouched. He skimmed his hand over her ass.

“So pretty. I used to spend hours fantasizing about your ass. If I had truly known what it looked like, I would have never been able to concentrate around you.”

He gave her one little smack again, then slipped the crop between her legs, sliding it over her mons before moving away. He needed to get ahold of his control. It was slipping away. Drawing in a few breaths, he counted backwards from ten. Twice. When he finally had control, he grabbed a condom and slipped it on. He’d left her there because he’d liked the way she looked.

Now that he had control, he walked over to the bed. “Come here, honey,” he said, easing her down onto the bed and onto her back. For a second, he couldn’t think. She was looking up at him with those incredible eyes, her need easy to see. She was so trusting. He wanted to do nothing more than to fuck her until she couldn’t remember her name. He barely held onto the savage beast that was clawing at his belly. It wanted complete power. Over her, over him, over the situation. He drew in a breath, pulling his emotions back, trying his best to conceal it from her.

He settled between her legs and then leaned closer, resting a hand on either side of her head. He could smell her arousal. She was so beautiful when she came, so lost in the pleasure. It made him want to do it again and again.

Without closing his eyes, he bent his head and kissed her, slipping his tongue between her lips. When he pulled back, she was smiling, her eyes were sultry, and her face was flush. He rose to his knees and entered her slowly. He wanted to thrust into her with no finesse. But, with the plug in her ass, he couldn’t. It might be too much. She groaned in frustration.

“What? You have complaints?”

“Go faster.”

He smiled at the impatience in her voice. “I am trying to be gentle.”

“Be gentle later.”

He should reprimand her, but he couldn’t. She shouldn’t be telling him what to do. At this time, though, he didn’t care. He just wanted to watch her come again. He started thrusting, slowly, shallow, just enough to build her back up again. She arched up against him, and he knew what she was feeling. With the plug inside her ass, it was tighter. Each thrust took her to another level of pleasure.

Soon, she was moaning beneath him, moving in tandem with him.

He leaned down and kissed her. “Come for me, Shannon. Do it.”

She was already coming by the time he finished giving her the order. Her muscles clamped down tight on him, pulling him deeper into her pussy. He kept moving, pushing himself to the release he had been needing for what seemed like forever.

She looked up at him then. Those green eyes were heavy-lidded, her lips curved, and she cupped his cheek.

“I love you, Kade.”

His heart squeezed as he looked down at her and knew in that moment, she meant every word.

“Come for me,” she whispered.

Her voice was so soft, he wasn’t sure he heard her, but he could read her lips. He did then, thrusting into her one last time and losing himself to the pleasure.