Indulgence (151 page)

My knees are wobbly and my heart is pounding in my ears when
I breathe out, “Thank you, sir. Thank you so much.” Melissa and I grab each
other and hug.

We’re on the road up.

*****

“Are we about done? Because I want to get out of here.”

“And I want you to get out of here. Nothing personal,” the
nurse says, growling playfully.

“No offense taken,” Jaz snarls.

“Yeah, yeah. You can’t go anywhere until your doctor comes
in to see you. So you might as well just chill out.”

“Thanks, Nurse Ratched.”

“You’re welcome, McMurphy,” she tosses back along with the
wave over her shoulder as she heads out the doorway. He’s become a favorite on
the urology floor. The nurses all flirt with him, even the male ones, and he
makes everyone laugh.

I roll my eyes and shake my head. “You are incorrigible, Mr.
Givens.”

“And you’re precious, Ms. Hendricks.” When he manages to
catch my eye, he winks at me and I just melt. “I sure wish he . . . well, hello
there, Dr. Larsson!”

“Hello, Mr. Givens. How are you feeling?”

“Like I want to go HOME,” Jaz almost shouts.

“Well, trust me, I want you to go home. Nothing personal,”
Dr. Larsson adds.

“No offense taken,” Jaz laughs.

“Oddly, I don’t care,” Dr. Larsson replies and, just as Jaz
starts to say something, the doctor starts laughing. “Gotcha that time!”

“Damn. I’m losing my touch.”

“Yeah, must’ve gone with that kidney,” the doctor quips.
“Okay, here’s the deal. Remember, you’ve now got one kidney doing the work of
two. So watch your sodium intake. Watch your calcium intake. Watch your
carbonated beverage intake. Watch your sugar intake. You also have to make sure
you stay well hydrated. Oh, and beer is your friend, but not too much. One a
day is good for your kidneys. Couldn’t hurt your sense of humor either.”

“Oh, hahaha,” Jaz snorts.

“Exactly. Otherwise, you’re on probation for at least four
more weeks. Got that, missy?” Dr. Larsson slings in my direction.

“Got it. Although I don’t know how I’m going to make him do
anything
.
He’s kinda hard-headed.”

Jaz sits right straight up. “Hey, wait a minute . . .”

“Yeah, I see that,” Dr. Larsson deadpans. “Maybe you should
get yourself a ball bat to threaten him with.”

“Right here. Sitting right here. I can hear everything
you’re saying,” Jaz play shouts.

“Maybe I should.” I turn and look him dead in the eye. “Are
you going to give me any trouble, mister?”

“Not if there’s ice cream.”

Dr. Larsson is laughing at us. “You guys crack me up. Got
any other questions?”

“Um, so what kind of restrictions do I have? You know, like
climbing ladders, or mowing grass, or sex. You know, stuff like that.”

“You’re not climbing or mowing. That’s not what you’re
wanting to know about. I
know
what you’re wanting to know about. And as
long as you feel like doing it, do it. No gymnastics, but regular sex is fine.”

“Define ‘regular,’” Jaz says with a smirk.

“I’m not painting you a picture. Just try to use some common
sense and if you’re in doubt, ask her. She seems to have all of hers and most
of yours.”

Jaz grimaces. “Wow. Thanks. I love you too.”

“Nice to know. Well, okay I think that’s it. Make an
appointment for four weeks from now and I’ll see you then. And I’d better get a
good report on you or I’ll take that other kidney.”

Jaz cuts his eyes at Dr. Larsson and his brow furrows. “Over
my dead body.”

“Yep – that’s the way it’s worked in the past, as I recall.
Good luck. And special good luck to you, ma’am. I think you’re going to need
it.”

I nod. “Thanks.” As soon as he’s gone, Jaz starts packing up
everything in the room. “Going somewhere?”

“Yes. I’ve got to get out of here. I’m convinced they’re
trying to poison me.”

“Jaz?”

“Yeah, babe?”

“We need to talk.” That gets his attention.

“Okay. I guess we do.” He sits down next to me on the edge
of his hospital bed. “So what do you want to talk about?”

“Where are you going when you leave here?”

He gives me a strange look. “Well, home, of course.”

“Is Melissa coming?”

Now he’s looking at me like I’m crazy. “No. She’s got
school. God knows she’s got enough work to make up.” Then he stops and his face
falls. “Kimmie, do you not want to come home with me? I mean, if you don’t want
to, that’s okay, but I just thought . . . I mean, I didn’t ask, but I, well, if
you don’t . . .”

“No, no, I do! I just didn’t know if you wanted me there or
not.” I hesitate for a few seconds, then say, “What I did to you was wrong. And
I’m sorry. With the therapy, I’m understanding more about why I did it, but I
still did it and it hurt you. And I’m so, so sorry for that. I would understand
if you never wanted me in your life again.”

He reaches over and takes one of my hands. “Listen, we’re
both at fault here. You jumped to a crazy conclusion that I never gave you
reason to reach. And I wasn’t very patient. I should’ve given you more time to
calm down and come around, but I was just so hurt that I didn’t think I could
move back into the relationship.”

I feel a tear roll down my cheek. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I
really am. I hurt myself in the process.”

“And I’m sorry I gave up so easily. That won’t happen next
time.”

With a shake of my head I state plainly, “There won’t be a
next time.”

“Good.” He squeezes my hand and my whole world feels right.
“So let’s just move forward, okay? No more about this. Live and learn and move
on.”

“Yes. Move on. I agree.”

“So you’re coming back with me?” Bending down so he can look
up into my eyes, he says, “You’re coming home?”

“I’m coming home.” A peace settles over me, peace that I’ve
missed since that weird day. I’m coming home. What Jaz doesn’t understand is
that no matter where I went, as long as he was there, I’d be at home. I belong
with him. And I won’t ever forget that or take it for granted.

We get my car loaded up with Michael and Robyn’s help –
thank goodness they showed up – and then head to the house. They help unload it
while I get him settled, and once they’re gone, we’re alone for the first time
since everything fell apart. I sit down beside him on the sofa and, before I
know it, his head is in my lap and I’m combing my fingers through that thick,
dark hair. His eyes are bright when he looks up into my face and just says
straight out, “Kimmie, I want you. It’s been too long.”

“It has been too long. But you just got out of the
hospital.”

“I don’t care. I need you.” He waits. After a few moments,
he sits up, then stands and takes my hand. “Let’s go. I’m not waiting anymore.”

The authoritative tone in his voice sets me on fire. “Yes,
Sir,” I gasp out and practically skip to the bedroom. Once there, he undresses
me slowly, and I note that he doesn’t grimace in pain one single time. Either
he feels pretty good or he’s putting on a pretty good front. When I’m
undressed, he undresses himself, and I tremble all over at the sight of that
utterly stunning maleness in front of me. “You sure you feel all right, Sir?” I
ask out of sheer concern.

“No. I’m really tired. So I want to watch you make yourself
come, and then I want you to ride me.” He wraps both arms around my waist and
leans down to kiss me but, just before he does, he mutters quietly into my
lips, “Is that something you’d be interested in, submissive?”

I whisper back into his mouth, “Most definitely, Sir.”

Straddling his hips, I let myself down slowly on his length
and, once seated, I stroke my nub until I’m crying out. His hands trail up my
torso and cradle my breasts, his fingers curved upward and teasing my nipples.
I can’t help it – the tears start and I can’t stop them. I’m sobbing when I
choke out, “Oh, god, Jaz, I’ve missed you so much!”

Every ounce of emotion comes through in his voice when he
says back, “I’ve missed you too, baby girl. Every day and every night. I didn’t
want to live without you.” His hands slide on up my neck and he cradles my face
in his hands. “Come for me, baby. I don’t want to wait.”

The spasms of my orgasm are interrupted when he orders,
“Now, ride me, submissive. I want us to come together. You can do it; I know
you can.”

And that’s exactly what we do, with a cry from me and a
groan from him. It’s glorious, our bodies together in that simple, primitive
act, and I slump onto his chest and feel his arms tighten around me. I’m still
crying when I whisper into his chest, “I missed your arms. I can’t be away from
you ever again.”

*****

“Sit down right now! I mean it! I’ll do it.” Shooing him out
of the kitchen, I pick up the lunch dishes and carry them to the sink. About
the time they’re all cleaned up, I hear Jaz’s phone ring.

“Yeah. Yes, she is. She’s kind of bossy, but I really don’t
have any complaints.” That just makes me snicker. “I’m sure I’m a terrible
patient. Uh-huh. No, honey, don’t do that. You need to just stay there and make
up your work. Kimmie’s taking good care of me. I’m fine.”

Melissa. She’s been working hard to make up her school work
from the time she spent here with her dad. As they talk, I hear the baby cry
out and Candy shows up in the kitchen. “I was an adult film star. Who knew big
boobs don’t mean a lot of milk?” She picks up one of the bottles I sterilized
in the dishwasher earlier that morning and fills it with formula for Petunia;
we’ve all taken to calling her Pet. I’d panicked when I first realized Candy
was living here with Jaz, but it didn’t take me long to realize that it was
simply his way of being kind to her, and she’s been a lot of help to me while
he’s been recuperating.

Once she’s wandered back down the hallway with the bottle to
feed Pet, I meander back into the living room where Jaz has hung up with
Melissa and sits quietly, flipping through a new auto magazine. The smile he
gives me is brilliant, and I plop down beside him and take his hand. “So did
you talk to them at the office?”

“Yes. They said not to worry about anything. It’s all there
waiting for me when I’m ready to come back.”

I want to scream,
You’re not going back!
, but I
don’t. That’s my secret. Instead, I say, “You’re looking very good today, Mr.
Givens.”

“And you’re looking quite well yourself, Ms. Hendricks.” He
kisses my cheek and then wraps an arm around me. “So when are we going to do
something about that?”

“About what?”

“About that name.”

“Whenever you want, Sir. I’m all yours.” And I know right
then: I’ve got some phone calls to make. The plan for The Most Important Thing
is back on.

*****

It’s been six weeks since he came home from the hospital,
and the doctor has pretty much turned him loose. There’s three feet of snow on
the ground, and Christmas is bearing down on us, but I’m looking forward to it
for the first time in a long time.

The dinner dishes are done and I plop down on the sofa,
closing my eyes and putting my feet up. “Whew! That was a good dinner, but I’m
beat.”

“Me too. But it’s been a great day. I got released to go
back to work next week so everything will be back on track, and . . .”

“Jaz, there’s something I need to tell you.” He sits bolt
upright when I say those words. No doubt he detects the seriousness of my
voice.

“Yeah? Please, god, don’t let it be bad news. I don’t think
I can take it. Oh, god, you’re not pregnant, are you?”

“What? Hell no! I couldn’t be pregnant if I wanted to be.
I’m fifty-one, for the love of all that’s holy.”

“Well, that’s a relief. You know, accidents happen.”

I roll my eyes. “That wouldn’t be an accident. That would be
a miracle.”

“You know, miracles happen.”

“Jaz, please, be serious here.”

“Okay. You’re scaring me, but okay.”

I summon up all my courage before I blurt out, “I have an
early Christmas gift for you.” He waits until I say, “I sold my house.”

His brows drop into the bridge of his nose. “You what? I
could’ve sworn you said you sold your house.”

“I sold my house.”

“Yeah. So that
is
what you said. Why?”

“Because I needed the money.”

His face reddens. “Look, I know things have been tight, what
with you having to help me and me not working and Candy and Pet living here,
but I’ll go back to work next week and . . .”

“Jaz, would you just shut up for a minute?”

“What?” His eyes go round. “Did you just tell your Dominant
to shut up?”

“Yes. I did. And I have a good reason for it too.” My bag is
sitting right beside the sofa, and I reach in and pull a folded paper out.
“Here.”

Jaz takes it in his hands and opens it. I watch as his eyes
get bigger and his mouth drops open. “Kimmie?” He doesn’t say another word.

“Yes, babe?”

Now his hands are shaking. “Kimmie, is this . . . it looks
like . . .”

“It’s a deed. A clear deed.”

In nothing more than a whisper, he ponders out loud, “It’s
the farm. Our farm. Grandma and Grandpa’s farm.” His head swivels to look at
me. “How did you . . .”

My eyes close and I bow my head, praying he’s not going to
be furious with me. “I wanted your dreams to come true. That’s all I wanted.
It’s all I want. Because you deserve that.”

The next sound I hear shocks me to my core. Jasper is
weeping. Not managing to completely choke down the sobs he’s trying so hard to
hide, he has the deed clutched to his chest, and he’s breathing so hard that
he’s heaving. I’m just a little scared until I hear him whisper out hoarsely,
“Kimmie, why? Why would you do this for me? You sold your house! The one thing
you owned! Why? Why did you do this?”

I’m still not sure if he’s angry or happy, so I just say, “I
loved that house. But I love you more.”