Indelible Love - Emily's Story (2 page)

Jake walked into the living room
wearing a black tuxedo, and he looked perfect.

“You look amazing,” he exclaimed,
putting both arms around my waist. I smiled, embarrassed and
guilt-ridden, as I wasn’t quite sure who I had gotten this dolled
up for—him or the ex.

“You look pretty amazing yourself. I’m
going to have to fight off all the ladies in the ballroom,” I
teased.

Jake shook his head in laughter and
reached for my fingers. Hand in hand we walked to his car, and for
the first time in a very long time, my heart rejoiced at the
longing, the awakening I felt. Like a musician dusting off the
cobwebs of a neglected instrument, I wanted to play again. I wanted
to excel and perform in the symphony again. My heart wanted to love
again.

Yes, I would let go of the pain that
had lived in me for so long and tonight, with Jake and Max in the
same room, would be the test.

“So what kind of college student were
you?” Jake asked even before we got into the car.

“What do you mean?”

“You look like the straight-A sorority
girl with lots of friends. Is my assessment correct?” Jake had a
know-it-all grin on his face.

“You are so wrong about me.” I gave
him a don’t-think-you-have-me-figured-out-already look. “I did well
in English and history but struggled miserably through math and
science. Those were probably your best subjects, huh?”

“I had to do well in those subjects.
Look at the profession I chose. But weren’t you popular in school?”
He reached over and held my hand.

“Nope. I had a few close friends,
along with Max, and that was it. Can’t you tell by my overwhelming
enthusiasm to all your advances that I’m as shy as they come?” I
joked with my date. “To your dismay, I’m sure, you’re dating an
introvert who will frustrate you with her self-doubt and
vacillation. I might as well have blinking lights and a hazard sign
on me.” At this point, I couldn’t help but let out a giggle. “Does
my testimony scare you?” From what I had seen of Jake, I was
confident it wouldn’t.

“You have to do a lot more than that
to scare me.” He leaned over for a kiss. “What I see is a kind and
gentle spirit who looks out for others before thinking of herself,
and who likes me a lot more than she’s willing to
admit.”

Now we both broke into a chortle. Hard
to admit, but he was right. Like was not a strong enough
word—adoration, bordering on love? Perhaps love wasn’t the right
emotion, but whatever I felt, it wasn’t public knowledge, yet.
Though my heart thumped arrhythmically whenever Jake was around and
his presence caused much bliss and anxiety at the same time, I was
too afraid to give my heart completely to anyone again. I’d have to
profess my heart to him soon—possibly tonight if we got the
chance.

After valeting Jake’s car and walking
into the hotel lobby, a thousand twinkling lights cascaded off the
chandelier above us. We marveled at each Christmas tree,
meticulously decorated in a multicultural theme. Jake held my hand,
and as we strolled into the ballroom, my nerves jingled not much
differently than the Christmas bells nearby.

Our ballroom, decorated in a White
Christmas theme, rivaled New York City’s Rockefeller Plaza. The
tree, the ornaments, and decorations perfectly displayed the
Christmas spirit.

“Emily!” shouted all my college
friends whom I had avoided since the breakup, “it’s so good to see
you. Where have you been? You’ve lost so much weight,” they all
said at once as they veered me away from my date.

“Who is that gorgeous man you are
with?” They all whispered not only to me, but also among
themselves.

“Jake,” I called, pulling him back to
my side, “this is Becca, Lizzy, and Christie. We have all been
roommates at some point throughout my four years in
undergrad.”

“Ladies, this is Jake.”

“Hello, Jake!” they all sang out at
once.

“Hi.” He grinned his irresistible
smile. Jake was always good at conversation and my college friends
looked more than happy to converse.

“Jake, I’m going to go see Sarah and
Charlie and get us checked in. Hang here with all the gals, will
you?” I walked away amused, knowing Jake was in for a long talk
with the girls.

While walking toward my best friend
and her boyfriend of almost nine years, I nervously scanned the
room for Max and his date. Relief washed over me. Perhaps they
would be absent tonight? I could only hope.

“Hey,” I called out to the lovebirds.
“Where are we sitting?”

“Um…”

Their answer, filled with enough
hesitation, made my nerves rattle again. This was not going to be
an answer I would like to hear.

“You’re with Peter, Will, James,
Christie, me, Charlie and Max and Jennifer.” Sarah spoke so quickly
I had to repeat all the names in my head before everything
clicked.

“What?” I bellowed. I could see a few
heads turning my way. Anger boiled inside me to a point where I
wanted to disown my best friend. “Why, Sarah? Why did you do this
to me?”

Sarah looked scared. She could tell by
my voice that she and Charlie had just ruined the whole night for
me. “I thought you were OK with seeing him again. I also thought it
would be sweet revenge for Max to see you with Jake.”

“Aw, Sarah…I only came here because of
you and Charlie. You know I didn’t want to be here.” As soon as I
finished saying these words, a familiar presence stood close behind
me. Even in a crowded room I could pick out his footsteps or the
sound of his breath. How much of our conversation had he heard? My
body turned in fear and anticipation, and he looked at me
surprised, almost shocked. His boyish good looks still moved my
heart. I hoped he couldn’t read the combined joy and sadness in my
eyes. I had missed him.

“Em…ily,” Max stuttered. Em was what
he called me during our four years of courtship. Em was what he
breathed every time we kissed. Nobody dared to call me Em, because
it was exclusively his. It was a jolt through my system to hear my
nickname again.

“Hi.” I managed a whisper.

Right at this moment, almost as though
it were timed, Jake walked over, put his arms around me, and forced
his lips on mine. My cheeks grew hotter by the length of his kiss.
I heard Sarah make some saucy comment about our public display of
affection.

“What was that?” I whispered when he
finally let go.

“Payback.” Minus the smile, it sounded
like a threat. “Why did you run away and leave me with those
women?”

After the shock of the embrace wore
off, I started to laugh. Even with Max and Jennifer standing two
footsteps away, my only thoughts were on Jake and the awkward
situation I had created for him with my former
roommates.

“You didn’t like my friends? I’m sure
they liked you.” I laughed at him.

“I missed you. Don’t leave my side
tonight. I don’t want to be apart from you, OK?”

I agreed to his request by nodding my
head yes.

“I’m sorry,” Jake spoke, glancing at
our broken conversation. “Was I interrupting something?”

“No…um, this is Max. Max, this is
Jake. As I introduced the past to the present, I saw Max’s
disconcerted face as he greeted Jake. Obviously, none of our
friends had mentioned to him I was seeing someone. Funny. No one
had any difficulties telling me about Max and Jennifer.

“Hi. It’s nice to meet you, Max.” As
Jake greeted Max, my eyes darted back and forth, stealing glances
at both men. I didn’t know who I was more nervous for—me, Jake, or
Max. Nor, could I figure out what gave away my anxiety more—my
twitching body or the hitched breath.

“Nice meeting you too,” Max stammered
to let out the rest of his sentence. “And this is my girlfriend,
Jennifer.”

Girlfriend. Max might as well have
taken a whack at my heart with a baseball bat. I didn’t think such
an innocuous word could bruise me so severely. How could he have
dated her so quickly after our breakup? I hurt watching Max hold
another girl’s hand. That was my place and he was my love. All the
painful feelings I had worked hard to suppress in the last eighteen
months resurfaced.

Jake was quick to understand my
distress. He cordially said good-bye for us while I tried to act as
normal as possible. After my confession to Jake last night, he knew
how hard this was for me. Sensing my withdrawal, he stopped me and
held me close to his heart. I was grateful for this understanding
man.

“You OK?” He didn’t ask in any
accusatory way, but I noticed he was holding back his own
discomfort. The gentle look, the soothing tone, he calmed me, and I
decided to let go of my hurt—at least for now.

“Yes. I’m OK. Are you sorry you came
tonight? Isn’t this what you didn’t want to see—me being rattled by
the sight of Max and his new girlfriend?”

“You seemed more rattled by watching
the rest of our reactions. Emily, seeing you anxious doesn’t make
me happy, and I have to apologize to you for my behavior last
night. There was no reason for me to be so angry, and I definitely
shouldn’t have walked out on you and our dinner. I’m all right
seeing you and Max together. Can we let this go for now and have a
long-overdue talk when this function is over?”

I answered yes with a light kiss to
his lips. Jake was an amazing man. Bypassing his own pain of seeing
me hurt over Max, he did his best to lessen my discomfiture.
Without a doubt, this man cared for me deeply. To show him my
appreciation, I chose to put aside my feelings and enjoy the rest
of the night with him.

Spotting Peter, I said, “Let’s go meet
some of my friends. I see them at our table. One more thing…” I had
to confess, “Max and Jennifer are at our table. I hope you don’t
mind. Sarah and Charlie thought it would be funny to have us all
together. I’m sorry.” I didn’t bother hiding my annoyance with the
two of them.

“I’ll have a talk with them when I run
into them later tonight,” Jake added in an intimidating way, which
made me laugh. “You sure everything is OK?”

“It is now,” I answered confidently,
knowing Jake would protect me tonight.

“Peter!” The friend I most wanted to
see since the breakup jumped out of his seat and hugged me. “I’ve
missed you so much!”

“Where have you been? We see each
other every day for four years, and then you go AWOL on me the last
year and a half. If I didn’t know better, I would have thought that
you’ve been avoiding me and the whole gang.”

“Peter, I want you to meet my date.
This is Jake.”

“Jake, this is Peter, my friend, my
quasi brother.”

“It’s nice meeting you, Jake. When did
you and Emily start dating? She never told anyone she was seeing
someone.” Peter looked at me in an accusing way. I hadn’t called
Peter in such a long time; of course he’d have no idea I was dating
anyone.

“Emily and I started dating a couple
of months ago.”

“Oh, that’s not very long.” He sounded
strangely relieved.

“No, I wish we could see more of each
other, but due to my work schedule we date when possible. If I
could, I’d spend every day with her,” he replied, sending a wink my
way.

Having been stood up so many times due
to work, I mouthed, “I don’t believe you,” and shook my
head.

He grabbed me and embraced me in front
of everyone, then whispered, “I’d spend every waking and sleeping
moment with you if it were possible.”

Peter looked uncomfortable and
surprised. I probably looked alarmed.

“What do you do?” Peter
asked.

“I’m a doctor over at General
Hospital.”

Peter’s face lit up, as he was a
second-year med student himself. Both guys talked shop while I
untangled myself from Jake’s arms and strolled over to the other
tables to talk to my friends.

No sooner had I said hello when I saw
Jake walking over as the emcee called a first dance before dinner.
He led me to the dance floor, and Sarah and Charlie waltzed over to
us.

“Hey, Jake.”

“I don’t know if I should be saying
hello to both of you for putting us at the same table as Max and
Jennifer. Are you trying to help us or tear us apart?” Jake kidded
with Charlie and Sarah. We had double-dated enough for Jake to
understand that Sarah and Charlie would never mean any harm to us.
They all liked and respected each other.

“We were only trying to show you off
to Max,” Sarah said to Jake. “I want him to know Emily is doing
very well without him.”

“Sounds great to me,” Jake responded
enthusiastically.

“Great…thanks,” I answered
unenthusiastically.

Pulling me close, Jake and I danced a
very slow dance. Our bodies moved to the rhythm of the music and I
lost myself in his graceful lead. He began to hum the music in my
ear and I could feel his mouth slowly brushing the back of my neck,
moving toward my jaw and traveling to my tender lips. I quivered
ever so slightly when his lips touched mine. In our handful of
dates, we’d only shared a few heated kisses. Our chemistry felt
different tonight. I understood his intentions. He wanted to
progress in more ways than just emotionally. Right as the kiss
deepened, his pager went off and broke our embrace.