Indelible Love - Emily's Story (9 page)

“My mom says that Jake needs a woman
with a strong sense of self-esteem, because he never pays much
attention to anyone but himself. Have you two gotten into an
argument yet? Has he been mad at you?”

I shook my head yes. “I don’t know if
I’d call them arguments, but we got into a couple of
disagreements.”

“Wait till you get into an all-out
argument with him. I don’t know if you’re going to think he’s so
attentive and caring, then. You should see the tantrum he
throws.”

“I love these new revelations about
you. You didn’t tell me any of this during lunch.” My eyes looked
at him in delight. “I can’t wait to see you throw a tantrum. Maybe
I’ll purposely make you angry just to see your
reaction.”

Jane loved my goading. Jake didn’t
fall into our trap.

“Don’t believe a word she says. I
don’t know what’s gotten into my sister.” He turned to his sister
and tried to give her a stern look. She wasn’t scared.

“So, Jake, what do you like about
Emily? Try to keep it to a few sentences, OK? We have an opera to
watch.”

Just then, servers came with our third
course. A sautéed striped bass sat in front of them, while I got a
medley of mushrooms.

“If I had to sum up what I love most
about Emily, it would be her honesty. Even though she knows it’s
not to her benefit, she’ll still tell you what’s in her heart. I
know way too much about her last relationship.” He lightly shook
his head.

“Was my honesty at lunch not to my
benefit? Am I in trouble?” My forehead creased with a worried
look.

Jake’s lips reached over to mine again
and eased my concern. “I appreciate your honesty, whether or not I
appreciate your answers.”

Jane broke our tender moment and
continued her question-and-answer session, and Jake happily obliged
by giving her a detailed account of our first encounter.

“We met late at night at a supermarket
and I had to take her to the hospital after she fell, reaching for
a box of cereal. So, I take her to General Hospital, and we’re
sitting in the examination room, and do you know what she asks me?
She had the gall to ask if I was really a doctor at GH and not just
some staff member.”

In response to Jane’s “why” look, I
said, “Well, for someone who worked at the hospital, he got no
special treatment. I waited there just as long as everyone else to
get out of ER. In fact, there were patients who came after me but
left earlier. I thought he was lying to me about being a doctor. It
took us three hours.”

Jane broke into a chortle. “Yeah, he
has no power there. You should have called Uncle Henry instead. You
would have been in and out with a call from him. By the way, why
are you guys going back down tonight? Jake, didn’t you ask Emily if
she wanted to stay the weekend?” I could tell Jake was happy to
hear his sister ask this question. Put on the spot, I didn’t know
how to answer. “Emily, you should stay with us in the apartment and
go down tomorrow night. We could spend another day together. Are
you uncomfortable with me being in the apartment? Do you want to be
alone with Jake?”

This conversation turned even more
awkward.

“Oh, no, Jane…I don’t feel
uncomfortable with you. Jake didn’t fully explain what was
happening today.”

“Then you’ll stay the night? We can
get to know each other better.”

What could I say? “I’d love that,
Jane, but I’m not prepared to spend the night here. I don’t have
any clothes or toiletries.”

“You can borrow all of mine. We can
also quickly stop by any of the stores in Union Square if you need
to pick up something.”

“OK.” I was really nervous about
spending the night with Jake, even with Jane in tow. I hadn’t
explained to him about my wishes to stay chaste till marriage. Most
likely, he would expect or at least desire to spend the night with
me. When and how I would have this conversation stayed with me the
rest of dinner as Jane and Jake picked up their unfinished
thought.

“So, Jake, anything else you want to
tell me about Emily?”

“Let me excuse myself to the ladies’
room and you two can talk about me all you like. It’s a bit
embarrassing hearing about myself.”

I walked to the ladies’ room, leaving
the Reid siblings to talk. Jake and Jane had given me a true taste
of family, something that disappeared too early in my life. It was
altogether sweet, sour, salty, and a bit bitter at times, but most
of all, it had the wonderful flavor of love. This is what I’d
missed out on being an only child with parents up in heaven. I was
glad to have witnessed a small part of their family.

On my way back, seeing that the Reid
siblings hadn’t finished their conversation, my pace slowed,
allowing Jake to finish. What I’d overheard added another cup to my
already overflowing feelings for him.

“And…I love her strength. I’ve never
met any girl who is such a survivor. She’s pretty much been alone
since high school, put herself through college, and then bought and
created a home all by herself. She’s worked for everything she has.
Nothing has been handed to her. Yet she smiles and enjoys life. Her
attitude is amazing. But, as strong as she appears, she’s terribly
tenderhearted. I think this is what makes me so enamored with her.
She hurts easily, cries readily, but loves deeply. She makes me
want to care for her and shelter her from anything that may harm
her. I’ve never felt such a strong desire to protect someone as I
do for Emily.”

As I walked back to my seat, happiness
swelled in my heart till it felt like a balloon about to burst.
Jake had summed up Emily Logan better than I could have. As happy
as I was, there was this nagging insecurity. Could such a perfect
man exist in my world? I feared answering this question.

We got back to the apartment around
midnight and Jane excused herself to answer a phone call. Here it
was, the conversation I dreaded.

“So…” Jake started very casually,
“where will you be sleeping tonight?”

I cringed at the thought of having to
explain myself to him. I waited for him to finish before going into
my tedious explanation.

“Door number one is my room, door
number two is Jane’s room, or you can sleep alone behind door
number three.” He pointed to each room with a hopeful and expectant
look.

There was an awkward
silence.

“Jake…I need to tell you something.” I
dragged his name a bit but quickly let out the next group of
words.

“Uh-oh, did I say something
wrong?”

“No, I guess it’s time to confess
since we’re at this juncture. Maybe I should have told you before
accepting your ring. You might have had second thoughts about
wanting me as your girlfriend.”

Jake looked mildly horrified. “You’re
making me nervous; what’s wrong?”

This conversation wasn’t nearly as
difficult to have the first time with Max at age eighteen but now,
I sounded so archaic telling my thirty-year-old boyfriend that I
wanted to stay a virgin.

“Nothing is wrong. I should have told
you this earlier. I want you to know that I’ve never, um…” There
was no reason to be, but I was embarrassed.

“Well…I’ve never slept with a man
before. You are literally the first man I fell asleep with earlier
today, though nothing happened. I’m not planning on being with you
or any man till I get married.” Incredibly nervous, I found my
hands tightly clutching my borrowed robe unable to look at Jake
till I finished confessing.

Relief, confusion, happiness, and
chagrin all flashed across Jake’s face and in that order. “You mean
you and Max have never…?”

“No, we’ve never been together in that
sense.”

“But how? You dated for four
years.”

“It was hard but I really wanted to
save myself for whomever I might end up marrying. My mom was old
fashioned, and she wanted me to wait till I got married. This was a
promise I made to her before she died, and I’d like to honor her
wishes. Also, watching my parents love each other, I thought it
would be most special with the man I’d spend the rest of my life
with.”

“What if that man isn’t as pure as you
are?” He looked worried again.

I chuckled, realizing he obviously
didn’t believe what I believed. “That’s all right. It would be most
perfect if we were each other’s first, but I can’t expect everyone
to have the same beliefs. Are you OK with my confession? I’m sorry
I didn’t bring it up earlier. I didn’t quite know how to approach
this subject. Are you upset?” My head fell back down worried what
Jake might think.

“Disappointed, yes; upset, no. I guess
this happily speeds up our timetable.” Oddly, amusement mirrored
his disappointment.

“What does that mean?”

“Oh, that’s for me to know and for you
to soon find out.”

I could hear a quiet sigh as he held
me in his arms till Jane walked back into the living room. He
gently kissed my lips and I followed Jane to her room.

“Emily,” Jane carefully called my
name. “You don’t have to sleep in my room on my account. You can be
with Jake if you like.”

“Jane, I want to be here with you if
you’re OK with it.”

“I’d love it but is Jake OK with
this?”

“I didn’t give him a choice.” I
giggled. After all was said and done, Jake accepted my revelation
without much of a fight. Maybe the physical part of our
relationship wouldn’t be too much of a struggle—or maybe this was
wishful thinking.

“Where shall I sleep?” Jane’s room had
two twin bunks, reminding me of the summer camp I’d visited back in
sixth grade.

“I sleep here on this bottom bunk. Why
don’t you take the other bottom bunk?”

“Why are there so many beds in
here?”

Jane’s pretty face broke into a laugh.
“There was a time in undergrad when we had so much rain, our
sorority house got flooded. My room, endearingly called, ‘the
jungle,’ had twelve girls and twelve beds. When we were all
displaced, we brought as many beds into this apartment as possible,
and we all lived here for a month until the house got fixed. The
other two rooms got rid of the bunk beds, but I kept my room the
same. I guess you could call it nostalgia. I feel like I’m back in
college whenever I sleep in here.”

“How fun! Maybe I should have rushed
as a freshman. It would have been the perfect solution to not
having any siblings.”

“So…” Jane had a devilish look about
her.

“Yes..?” Fearful—I was definitely
fearful of what was coming next.

“Are we good enough friends for me to
ask why you are sleeping here rather than with my brother? I
promise, he has a very large bed in his room. You’ll be more
comfortable there than in here.”

“Oh…that. Though she didn’t know what
she was doing to me at the time, my mom made me promise her—right
before she died—that I would stay a virgin maid till I got married.
I think she just said that hoping to push off the inevitable for as
long as possible, but since that was one of my last promises to
her, I feel like I have to keep it.”

“Oh. My. Gosh! Seriously? This is so
hilarious that Jake has to wait till you guys get married to sleep
with you. I bet you he’s out there running miles on the treadmill
to work off his suppressed expectations or he’s scheming to see how
he can work around your vow.”

“He seemed to take it OK when I told
him tonight.”

The laughter that ensued could be
heard all the way to AT&T Park. Perhaps I was a bit hasty in
thinking that Jake would be OK with my chastity
agreement.

“Oh, this is his comeuppance!” Jane
brushed away the natural tears that came from her guffaw. “He
always thought he could get whatever girl he wanted and
unfortunately, that was the case. I don’t know of too many women
who have refused my brother anything…till now. He’s finally found
the girl and she won’t play to his tune. Oh, I love it!”

Jane’s rambling roused out of me a new
set of insecurities. “Has he been with a lot of women? Kelley was
the only girl I heard about but…I guess it’s silly of me to think
that with his looks and at his age that there weren’t many
more…”

Jealousy, along with sadness, speared
through my heart knowing that there had been copious girls who had
been a part of Jake’s life. Jane quickly defended her brother and
tried to turn me around.

“No, no! Don’t get the wrong idea,
Emily. Yes, there have been other women, but I promise you
this—there has never been a girl like you.”

I must not have look
convinced.

“Life has always been easy for my
brother. He’s smart, good looking, charming, and fairly wealthy.
He’s never had to work very hard for anything—especially women.
But, seeing him with you this weekend, and without you Thanksgiving
weekend, made me do a double take. Regardless of what he’s told
you, from what my mom and I can tell, he is madly in love with you.
We’ve never seen him so anxious about pleasing a girl.”

Her comment brought forth a weak
smile.