Incineration (Heart of Stone) (46 page)

“Twins!” he smiled and for the first time that night his
eyes lit up with a huge twinkle but then his face fell again, the emptiness and
ice returning “I can’t…I can’t get the pictures of you and
him
out of my
head Ava. His hands and mouth all over you… Why Ava?” he pleaded and I knew
then that I had lost him. A sob broke free and he screwed up his face in agony
“I…I…” he never finished and he turned and left.

Left me alone, scared and so fucking angry at what I had
done to him. I had broken him, painfully and so utterly cruelly that I knew I
would never get him back; never feel his arms around me again or hear his soft
words of love and desire in my ear, never feel his hands and breath over my
body and never again see that smile he had, the one just for me, the one that
had made my heart swell and my whole body hum.

I would love him for eternity but now I had to set him free,
for his sake and for mine.

I placed my hand over my tummy and made a promise to my
babies that I would never hurt them like I had hurt their Daddy. I would give
them my whole, unconditional love and support even though I knew now that I
would be doing it alone.

I was so utterly alone.

Keep reading for a preview from the
second book  

      
‘Heart of Stone’ #2

Tolerance

Another NSC Industries novel

By D H Sidebottom

Coming soon

CHAPTER 1

It had been two weeks since Masons midnight visit. I
welcomed my second trimester as we entered into December. My morning sickness
had eased but my belly had grown even more and I was struggling to squeeze into
the few clothes that I had at my cottage.

Most of my belongings were still at Masons and I was trying
to find the courage to contact him and arrange to collect them.

My body still ached at the loss of him, my heart was still
shattered and nothing I seemed to do was helping to weld it back together. I
missed his husky voice, his soft whispers of love and passion as his warm
breath brushed against my skin. I missed his beautiful smile, the sexy little
grin he would give me; the one that lit his whole face and his eyes would twinkle
as my heart would double its rapid beats. I missed his touch, the whisper of
his fingers across my skin that would leave a trail of sparks and heat in their
tracks. But most of all I missed his love.

I knew that my betrayal with Kade had destroyed everything
inside him, not just his trust and confidence but the pure, immeasurable love
he had had for me. I didn’t blame him, not at all; I had done this, I was the
one that had taken his heart and smashed it into a million fragments so
brutally and cruelly that I knew he would never be able to look at me the same
again, never be able to hold me and never be able to trust me and what was a
relationship without these things.

I will never forget the hurt, pain and utter devastation on
his face the night of our engagement announcement; his hand reaching out to me
as the pictures of mine and Kades love-making were reflected in his eyes as his
soul viciously and agonisingly ripped in two.

I had broken three hearts that night in the pool house;
mine, Masons and Kades.

It had been ten weeks since I had last seen Kade and I knew
he had moved to Italy to stop the torture deep inside him every time he would
look at me and know I would never belong to him, my heart would always belong
to Mason, wholly and entirely.

He had taken the move to Italy to convalescence and
desperately mend his broken heart, another heart that I had so selfishly torn
to pieces. But I had cared deeply for Kade, he had made me feel sensual, sexy
and so utterly desired and wanted, from the way he looked at me to the way he
would kiss me to the passion in the way he would touch me.

But now it was time to let Mason go, my love for him so
intense and pure that I would set him free to be happy with someone who
deserved his love, someone who would make him happy and love him, though I knew
that my love could outrival and drown even the most formidable and powerful
love.

I had heard he was back with Rebecca and that hurt, it hurt
so damn much. She was an evil, manipulative bitch who was just after his wealth
and power and I was frightened for him, knowing she didn’t love him made me sad
and I knew he used cocaine when they were together and I was dreadfully worried
he would go back to his old habits while he was with her.

Their baby was due in a couple of months and what tore at me
was the fact that he had attended all her pregnancy appointments, from scans to
regular check-ups but he hadn’t shown any interest in our babies, my beautiful
‘peanuts’ as Courtney had christened them.

I was due for another scan in a few days and Courtney had
already taken the roll of pregnancy and birthing partner and she had supported
and boosted me through these last couple of months. Even though I was grateful
to her for attending all my appointments my whole body still wished it was
Mason with me, holding my hand and being totally mesmerized at the two little
heartbeats pumping away, side by side on the monitor.

I placed my hand over my stomach and smiled, grateful for
the two little parts of Mason that would always be with me, the two little
parts of him that would always love me and need me. It was finally time to move
on and to do this I had to face him, to collect my things from his house so
picking up my phone and swallowing harshly I texted him, not summoning enough
courage to actually ring him.

ME

Hey, I was wondering if it would be okay to collect my
things from yours sometime this weekend.

Ava x

It took me 35 minutes before I made myself hit send and I
got a reply almost immediately

MASON

Sure, when?

It was short and sweet but at least he had replied

ME

Whenever is best for you, just let me know x

MASON

Tomorrow, lunchtime?

ME

Okay, I’ll be there about 1pm x

A forbidden bubble of excitement fluttered in my stomach at
the thought of seeing him and I scolded myself “We’re going to see Daddy soon
peanuts” I smiled as I placed my hands over my belly.

I was still smiling to myself as I flopped into bed that
night, my pregnancy was exhausting me. I was still struggling to sleep as my
body couldn’t adjust to being alone in bed. I missed Masons quiet steady
breathing at the side of me, the warmth of his body snuggled against me, and
the result of my insomnia had my skin pale and blotchy and I had large black
circles under my eyes so I was relieved tomorrow was Saturday and I was adamant
I wasn’t surfacing from under my duvet until dinnertime.

It was after 4am that my body and mind finally gave in to
the craving for sleep but by 7:30 I was once again wide awake, even though I
was still exhausted, and after an hour of tossing and turning I climbed out of
bed and made my way to the kitchen for coffee, even though since I had found
out about my pregnancy I had been drinking the under stimulating crap of
‘decaf’; another craving my body was missing.

Filling my cup and grabbing the huge jar of pickled gherkins
and peanut butter from the fridge I sat and sighed with ecstasy as I dunked a
gherkin into the butter and took a huge bite.

My pregnancy cravings had been some of the most unusual I
had heard or read about, last week it had been ready salted crisps and
strawberry jam and I had an intense craving for soap and had eaten a few bars
much to Courtneys horror and she had then ensued to remove every bar from my
house and bought me some shitty squirty stuff and I had actually sat and cried as
she had held me down and refused to let me out of the house to buy more.

I moaned with pleasure as I took another bite as my phone
rang. I smiled as Courtneys name flashed up on the display “Hey you” I greeted
happily as I took another crunch “Hey mama, fancy breakfast?” she had adopted
the nickname ‘mama’ for me after we had sat on the edge of the bath staring at
the positive pregnancy test

“Of course” I chirped, already thinking of the breakfast
menu “You’re already ordering aren’t you?” she laughed and I grinned, she knew
me so well “Hey, I’m eating for three here. I need sustenance” she laughed
again and we ended the call arranging to meet in a couple of hours.

I showered and squeezed myself into a green shift dress, my
swollen belly protruding tightly against the strain of the material. I would
seriously have to do some shopping for maternity clothes soon but I was hoping
some of the clothes I had left at Masons would be more accommodating and roomy.
I was mostly living in jogging bottoms and a couple of Masons t-shirts he had
left here. I had thought about returning them to him this afternoon but I
couldn’t bring myself to part with them. Apart from my peanuts, they were the
only things I had left of him.

I walked into ‘The kitchen’ at 10 O’clock and Courtney was
already seated and nursing a coffee, another cup sat on the table waiting for
me. I grinned widely at her “Morning Hun” I hugged her and plonked down
opposite her “You still not sleeping Babe?” she said with a scowl “You look
like death Ava. Have you asked the doc if they can prescribe anything?” I
shrugged “Even if they I can, I don’t want to put some crap into my body and
take the risk of hurting my babies”

She cocked her head “Ava, I’m sure the doctor won’t give you
anything that will harm them besides I don’t think you can ingest much crapper
stuff than soap”

“There’s only one thing that will help me sleep” I whispered
and stared at my coffee as I stirred in some sugar.

Her hand rested over mine and she nodded slowly “I know
Babe. You heard anything from him yet?” I smiled timidly “I’m going to his at
lunchtime to collect my things” I told her, trying to hide the grin that wanted
to erupt over my face at the thought of seeing him again “Ava…” she warned when
the smile broke free and filled my face “I know, I know. He doesn’t want me” I
grumbled. I knew this but I just wanted to see his beautiful face, smell his
gorgeous muskiness again and simply be near him.

 She nodded “So long as you remember that then you’re safe”
she told me and we both looked up as the waitress approached

“What can I get you guys?” she asked with a pleasant smile
“Ooh let’s see…I’ll take a large full breakfast with extra tomatoes and
mushrooms, ooh and an extra sausage and bread and butter, toast and a side
order of fried potatoes and do you have peanut butter?” I asked as she stared
wide eyed at me “Erm sure, you want peanut butter on what? Toast or bread?” she
was still scribbling down my huge order “I’ll just take the jar please” I
grinned happily.

Her eyebrows quirked and her jaw dropped “She’s pregnant”
Courtney informed her frankly and she smiled and nodded “Ahhhh I see” she
smiled happily at me “When are you due?” she asked with interest “Early June” I
smiled and rubbed my bump. Her eyes widened again “Wow you’re big to say you
have another six months to go” I rubbed my tummy again “Twins” I chuckled and
her eyes widened further “Oooh good luck. I bet Daddy’s pleased” she laughed
and my smiled dropped “Mmmm” was all I said and then ended the conversation as
I shifted in my seat and picked up my coffee.

Sensing my discomfort Courtney dived in “I’ll just take
pancakes and syrup please but could you double the order please cause I know
she’ll be finishing them off and if I don’t double up I don’t get any” she
scowled humorously at me. The waitress chuckled and nodded and then retreated
to the kitchen.

Courtney was silent for a moment and I could tell there was
something on her mind “Out with it” I said to her and she smiled awkwardly
“I’ve got something to tell you” she squirmed a little and my brow furrowed
“What’s wrong?”

She coughed slightly but then straightened her shoulders
“Erm, I’ve been seeing someone for a few weeks” she looked down at her coffee
with a slight guilty expression and I cocked my head “Okay…and?” I urged “Well
its Greg…Greg Chambers” she cringed “Oh, well that’s okay, why are you
worried?” she relaxed a little and gave me a small smile “It’s just with him
being Mason’s accountant I didn’t want you to think I was fraternising with the
enemy so to speak” she chuckled slightly and I grinned “Courtney, I’m pleased
for you. Greg’s a great bloke and it’s about time you found somebody decent” I
told her as the waitress placed our plates on the table in front of us, my many
dishes balanced all the way up her right arm and the peanut butter wedged under
her arm pit “Enjoy” she smiled and wandered off.

My stomach rumbled in anticipation and hunger and I
immediately unscrewed the butter and dipped a fried potato slice in it and as
soon as it hit my tongue my eyes closed and my mouth watered around it “Good?”
Courtney asked, her head cocked and a grin on her.

I nodded enthusiastically and dipped another one “I have
another confession” she winced severely now and I raised my eyes over my coffee
cup sceptically “Go on”

She swallowed “Erm well, he’s taking me to France for the
week and I won’t be able to make your scan on Monday. I’m so sorry Ava” she
said remorsefully. I relaxed “God Girl, I thought there was something seriously
wrong then. It’s fine, don’t worry. I’ll go alone or ask Kerrie to go with me”
I told her around a mouth full of bacon and beans. She smiled and gave a
relieved sigh “Thanks babe” I nodded “Enjoy yourself and don’t kill him you
horny tart” she grinned at this, her eyebrows waggling enthusiastically.