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wanted her wouldn’t he be here? Wouldn’t he have been here for her the last three weeks? “Does he know that I wasn’t raped?” Her question was quiet, almost a whisper.
Phillip hugged her tightly to him. “Do you think that would matter to either of us? Make us love you less?” His voice was ragged with emotion. “Maggie, I hate what happened to you not because it’s damaged you in my eyes, sweetheart, but because I hate the thought of you hurting in any way. I feel that I let you down, that I should have protected you better.” Maggie could hear the pain in his voice.
“Oh Phillip,” she cried quietly, “how could you have known? How could you have predicted the actions of a madman? None of this is your fault.” Suddenly she understood. “Is that why Jonathan left? Does he blame himself?”
She felt Phillip take a deep breath. “Yes, he does. He thinks that by staying here, by making you accept him,us, that he brought Robertson’s wrath down on you.”
Maggie couldn’t stop the sob that broke from her. That sounded so like Jonathan, taking the blame.
How he must be hurting.
Phillip took another ragged breath. “There’s more, Maggie.” Phillip then told her about Jonathan’s war experience, his nightmares, and how he truly believed that God was punishing him through Maggie’s attack.
Maggie cried silently through the whole story. It felt as if all the pain and guilt and anguish that Jonathan had held insidehimself all this time were inside Maggie, tearing her apart. And now he was alone again.
“Phillip, we have to find him,” she said urgently, sitting up abruptly and wiping her eyes with rough hands.
Phillip sat up as well, and gently took her hands in his. “I know where he is,” he told her.
She looked at him and at the look on his face she smiled. “You need him too, don’t you?”
“Yes,” was his simple answer, and Maggie’s smile grew.
* * * * *
Once he’d opened the floodgates of memory the night of Maggie’s attack, Jonathan had relived that day during the war over and over. Now that he was no longer burying the memory, it had ceased to surface in his dreams—when he did sleep, that was. Perhaps finally sharing his secret shame had lessened the burden somehow. Yet another thing he owed Phillip, he supposed. He sighed. No, not just one thing he owed Phillip. He owed him his life, he knew that now. Without Phillip, he would have ended it long ago.
Thinking of Phillip caused the emptiness inside to fill with pain and loneliness. Those three months without him at the beginning of his and Maggie’s marriage had seemed endless. That was the first time he’d been away from Phillip since the war. Now it seemed a small drop of water in the ocean of solitude stretching out before him. He’d sentenced himself to a life without Phillip. He didn’t think he could bear it.
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These endless nights recently had shown him how much he truly needed the other man. He’d become as integral a part of Jonathan’s life as breathing. He knew one of the reasons he couldn’t sleep at night now was because he’d become accustomed to having Phillip and Maggie next to him in bed at night.
Maggie. He’d purposefully not thought of her in the past few weeks. When he did, the guilt that assailed him was almost too much to bear. He’d left her when she’d needed him most. How could she ever forgive him, when he didn’t think he could forgive himself?
He rubbed his hands over his face roughly. Today he had realized that that was now his greatest sin.
He’d forgiven himself for what had happened during the war. Stephen had helped him see that he needed to forgive himself, that what had happened was a tragedy of war and circumstance. He still regretted it with every waking moment, but it no longer ruled him. His regret over Maggie and Phillip ruled him.
He had to see them. He had to know if they’d forgiven him. The thought brought him the first measure of peace he’d felt in weeks. Yes, he had to go to them. He had to see for himself that Maggie was all right.
Phillip had been sending letters regularly, updating him on Maggie’s progress, so he knew she was fine physically. The fact that Phillip never wrote a word about how Maggie had reacted to his absence was a glaring omission. Did it mean she didn’t care, or that it had torn her apart? His conscience warred with his heart over which option he prayed for.
He turned back to bed with the conviction that tonight, at last, he would be able to sleep. Tomorrow he’d leave for London.
Jonathan woke to a languorous feeling in his body, as if movement wasn’t just undesirable but impossible. It took only seconds for the burning ache in his cock to register. He moaned at the feeling of how hard he was. He’d never woken so stiff before—he was positively throbbing. At the feel of a mouth lightly nibbling his chest, his eyes flew open.
The first thing that registered was that it was still night. The room was bathed in the glow of a bright moon. Then his eyes slammed into Phillip’s. Phillip was kneeling next to him on the bed naked. His blond hair gleamed in the moonlight, his eyes like candle flames as they burned into Jonathan’s.
“Hello, Jonathan,” he said quietly.
At that moment Jonathan felt a sharp bite on his nipple and he cried out, bucking on the bed at the pain-pleasure. He looked down at his other side and saw Maggie leaning over him, laving his stinging nipple with her tongue. “Maggie,” he choked out. He raised his hand to her head and ran a shaking hand over her beautiful hair flowing down her naked back like a river of night.
She looked up at him and then stretched out next to him, plasteringherself to his side, overflowing onto his chest and stomach. She insinuated her leg between his, rubbing sensuously against him. “You’re not to leave ever again, Jonathan,” she told him sternly. “Do you understand?” She kissed his neck, sucking gently, and Jonathan arched his neck to give her more access.
“Yes,” he gasped, and even he wasn’t sure if it was in answer to her question or just a response to how good she felt against him.
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“It doesn’t sound as if he completely understands, Phillip,” Maggie purred, alternately licking and sucking on his shoulder and chest.
The pleasure was so intense Jonathan lay there gasping. “I understand that you feel so damn good, Maggie,” he said hoarsely.
“Of course I do, you idiot,” she said affectionately. “I’ve always felt this good, but you’re such a bloody martyr you denied yourself. You’ve no one to blame for your desperate condition but yourself.”
Jonathan turned bleak eyes to her. “I know I’m to blame. God, Maggie, can you forgive me? Leaving you when…”
Maggie interrupted him. “Yes, about that. I have decided you definitely need to be punished.” She bit him hard on the soft edge of his shoulder and he couldn’t stop a little yelp. He also couldn’t stop his hips from bucking with pleasure. Maggie laughed her low seductive laugh, the one that sent chills of anticipation up Jonathan’s spine. “Shouldn’t you apologize to Phillip too? He needed you as much as I did.”
Jonathan’s eyes turned again to Phillip who had been kneeling there silently since his first hello. “Phillip,”
Jonathan saidquietly, and just being able to say his name again made his throat close up with emotion.
Phillip smoothly leaned forward and stretched the long length of his firm body out, like a cat. Then he lay next to Jonathan as close as he could get without climbing on top of him. He was on his side, and he snuggled in close until Jonathan’s length was cupped in his own. Jonathan gasped at the sheer thrill of the feel of Phillip’s naked body along his. His breath became a rapid tattoo as Phillip languidly reached out a hand and laid it on his chest, rubbing softly. His hips undulated against Jonathan and he felt Phillip’s huge erection, hot and hard.
“Yes?” Phillip whispered, leaning down to nuzzle him in the soft spot just behind his ear. Jonathan groaned.
“I don’t deserve this,” Jonathan forced himself to whisper. “I left you…”
Maggie bit him again and Phillip pulled back. Jonathan was audibly panting with desire. Phillip slowly grabbed a fistful of Jonathan’s hair, pulling until his head arched back, eliciting another deep groan of pleasure from Jonathan.
“No you don’t, you ungrateful wretch,” Phillip said silkily, “but by the time we’re through with you tonight, you’ll have earned it.”
In a coordinated movement almost like a wicked, sensual dance Maggie pulled back from Jonathan at the same time Phillip released his hair and rolled him over onto his back. Maggie lay back down next to him and he turned his head to look at her.
“I love you, Jonathan,” she whispered, feathering light kisses along his face. “I will always love you.” She settled her mouth on his and plundered. Jonathan willingly opened his mouth to accept her. She drove her tongue in and swept it around as if she needed to be sure it still tasted and felt the same. She sucked on his tongue and bit his lips gently, and Jonathan took the pleasure she gave him. After too short a time she pulled back, resisting Jonathan’s efforts to hold her there. He lifted his head to follow her retreating mouth and suddenly felt a sharp slap on his ass. The sting caused him to rear back in surprise. He felt the dull throb in his cheek from the slap and suddenly couldn’t breathe. He knew what they had in store for him now.
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“Tonight you do only as we say, Jonathan,” Phillip told him softly.“On your knees, head and shoulders down on the bed.”
Jonathan slowly turned his head to look at Maggie. Her eyes were bright with excitement, her cheeks flushed. A closer inspection revealed dark nipples turgid with desire. He could smell her arousal and it made his mouth water. His eyes on her face, Jonathan did as he was told.
Maggie had risen to kneel also, and she leaned over him now. She ran her hand lovingly through his thick dark hair and then placed her nose there and inhaled deeply as if she sought to memorize his scent. “Grab the rails of the headboard, darling,” she whispered. Jonathan did as she asked and he felt her chuckle into his hair. “You’re being such a good boy, Jonathan. I quite like this side of you.”
Jonathan’s own excitement made it hard to speak, but he managed. “Anything you want, Maggie.
Whatever you and Phillip want.” He was amazed at the weak, breathy sound of his own voice. It was low and throbbing with lust. God, he wanted this. He wanted Phillip to spank him as he’d seen him spank women in the past—and he wanted Maggie to watch.
“That’s good, Jonathan, because we’re going to do what we want,” Maggie told him matter-of-factly, her voice a deep sensual pull in Jonathan’s groin. She moved her head and gently took his ear in her teeth, not biting, but holding him possessively. The action made his gut clench. She released it and licked the spot, making him shiver. “And what we want, Jonathan,” she breathed into his ear, “is to fuck you—both of us.”
Jonathan knew even as he heard it that he had never before made the sound that escaped him. It was part whimper, part groan and pure desire. His mind went blank for a moment, unable to comprehend that at last all his dreams were coming true.
“Hold on tight, Jonathan,” Phillip said from behind him as he felt the bed dip and Phillip straddle his legs.
Phillip ran a finger softly down his spine, and Jonathan arched his back, unconsciously thrusting back toward Phillip. Phillip continued, “Because before I ride this gorgeous ass, I’m going to spank it until it cries for me.”
Jonathan cried out as he felt the sting and heard the slap of Phillip’s hand striking his other ass cheek. He had no time to recover before another blow came on the other side. He gripped the rails tightly and rode the pain, the throb in his ass from the spanking soon beating in time with the throb in his cock. He lost track of how many times Phillip hit him, he barely registered his own moans and the pleading sounds he made with each slap. Maggie slid down beside him, and he turned his head, watching as she roughly caressed her own breasts, pinching her nipples and thrusting her hips in the air in time with Phillip’s blows. He groaned as he saw one of her hands slide down her stomach and into the short curls over her mound. Maggie cried out as she thrust her finger into herself, bending her knees and spreading her legs as she fucked herself.
The spanking ended as suddenly as it began. Instead of a blow, Phillip’s hands caressed the hot stinging cheeks of his ass, and the gentle motion almost made Jonathan come. Jonathan felt Phillip’sbreath there a moment before a soft wet tongue licked the burning skin, soothing it. Then Phillip’s lipsnibbled, and Jonathan could take no more.
“Stop, Phillip, please,” he begged. “I don’t want to come yet, not yet.”
Phillip pulled back immediately. “No, darling, not yet,” he whispered in agreement. “Sit up, Jonathan,”
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he told him gently, and he helped Jonathan raise himself to his knees.
Jonathan was trembling so badly he couldn’t have managed to rise on his own. He was so overwrought with emotion he wasn’t surprised to feel two tears slip down his cheeks. Phillip wrapped his arms around him, pulling him back into a tight embrace. Jonathan turned his head, burying his face in Phillip’s neck.
When Phillip felt the tears, he spoke. “Don’t cry, darling,” he whispered in his lover’s voice, and Jonathan felt more tears escape. “Don’t cry,” Phillip said softly again, and kissed his forehead.
