In Too Deep (16 page)

Brody needed more time, and a perfect woman. Fallon was neither patient, nor good enough. She could only warp and twist him if she stayed. Her unwillingness to compromise screwed over every man she ever bothered with.

Damon was so dead set against
magic, so she hid what she was capable of. They were fine until she saved him from the Dales. He was so horrified by what she did that he wouldn’t even talk to her.

Preston use to be a fun guy to hang out
with, until they had sex. Then he became Captain Douche, trying to convince her to do things she wouldn’t, and that went over oh so well. He was a total asshole now.

And Isaac, he’d been such a good friend. She finally gave into him, and he swore up and down he could live without his kinks. She drove him to cheating when he swore he loved her. There were countless others and none of them walked away the same.

It was better to end this now, before she could do any real damage. Her heart was breaking. She should have just gone back to the apartment after Slater and Jess left.

Brody didn’t even look up when she snuck
out of the room. That hurt, but she knew deep down that letting him in would only hurt in the end.

Tears filled her eyes. No. She wouldn’t cry. She fought back the tears as she hurried into her clothes, scooped up her shoes and slammed the door on her way out.

It was pouring down rain, and she stood on the porch a second, breathing hard. She could call Jess, but she didn’t want to talk. She could run, but she didn’t know where to go. There was only one place to go, so she ran to the apartment, up the steps and burst inside.

Fallon flung the door shut and
sank into a heap on the floor. She threw her shoes at the wall and slammed her head into the door. Then her phone rang and she pried it out of her pocket and threw it without looking at it. The back popped off and the battery skittered across the floor.

It was o
ne of two people calling. Jess, or Brody and she couldn’t bring herself to talk to either of them. Jess would have a million questions she couldn’t answer. Or Brody and she had to end things with him. That is if he didn’t come to his senses and do it himself. Man, she just wanted to forget all about him.

Her eyes burned and she pressed her hands to her face.
No crying, no fucking crying,
she told herself. She never cried about Isaac. She didn’t even cry over Damon who crushed her when he left. So she shouldn’t cry over a man she barely knew. She just had to hold herself together and not fall apart.

* * * *

The door slammed downstairs, and Brody shook his head, pulling himself out a sea of lost hopes and dreams. They were all replaced with a new beginning and a bright future.

Shit, how did I miss her leave?

She probably saw him crying and assumed the worse. He wiped the tears away with the back of his hand and hurried into a pair of jeans before racing down the stairs. He nearly fell on his face, but caught himself.

At least her Harley wasn’t ready yet. As long as she didn’t leave he could fix this. He started dialing but her phone just rang and rang. He prayed she’d open the door. He hurried out of his house and up the stairs to the apartment.

He pounded on the door. “Fallon, talk to me.”

“
Go away.” Her voice was so cold. “We’re done, we’re over.” She was hurting, and that tore him up. He had to make her see the truth.

“
Damn it Fallon.” He slammed his palm against the wood. “Don’t shut me out before you give me a chance to explain.”

She didn’t say anything
and her ragged breathing was the only thing he heard.

He took a deep breath, and tried for a calmer tone.
“Please Fallon, just hear me out.”

* * * *

Maybe Brody was there to end things. He certainly sounded pissed. Either way, Fallon knew this was going to hurt. She’d rather run, but Brody deserved the truth.

If Malachi wasn’t looking for her, she would find a way to leave, but once he was dealt with she was out.

Brody hit the door again and she jumped. “Fallon, open the damn door. We need to talk.”

“
Fine. You want to do this now?” She pushed herself to her feet, finally getting angry. She threw the door open. “We’ll do this now.”

He stood there with his arms crossed over his bare chest, the rain glistening off his skin, and his eyes blazing.
“Why did you leave?”

“
Look, we don’t need to do this. You obviously realized it was a big mistake. I’m nothing like what you had. So let’s just skip the bullshit talk about backing off when we both know this can’t work.”

His arms fell to his sides, and the fire in his eyes dimmed.
“I know what you thought, but if you had just asked, I could have cleared that up.” He threw the door shut and the sound thundered against her. Then he leaned against the only exit as if he thought she would bolt.

She didn’t blame him. She wanted to flee
, but they were here and they were doing this. “What good would it do? What does it change?”

Anger flashed through the hurt in his eyes, and he took a step closer.
“Ask about the phone call,” he demanded.

“
Who was on the phone?”

“
Adam. He called with good news. Jolene and Dakota had their baby. They named him Jacob.” He glanced away but swung those blue eyes right back to hers. “So yeah, I was thinking about the past for a minute, but nothing to do with you. I don’t regret what we did. Why the hell do you think I’m here?”

“
Honestly?”

“
Yes.”

“
To tell me
we
are a mistake. That
you
were wrong,
I’m
not what you want.”

“
You’re wrong,” he insisted.

“
I’m right. You were so devastated while you stared at her picture.” She shook her head, backing away, and dropped her eyes. “Think about this for a minute. I’m all wrong for you. You’re the perfect, considerate guy, and I let you take me into your room, that you shared with your wife, with her picture right there, and fucked your brains out. I didn’t even think about her. I was thoughtless, and inconsiderate, and….”

His hands tangled in her hair, and he was kissing her like he needed the
air in her lungs. She didn’t know what the fuck to do, because that was not what she expected.

When she finally got her wits together, she shoved him back.
“Don’t. Just don’t make this harder. We have to end this.”

“
Why?” He asked, and when she shook her head, he added, “Did you ever think that if it’s hard to walk away, you shouldn’t?”

Two could play that game.
“Did you ever think that if you’re crying over your dead wife just minutes after fucking another woman, you’re not ready for that woman?

He spun her
around and backed into the wall so fast she couldn’t react. Then he rolled his hips into her, showing her just how ready he was. “Does this feel like I’m not ready?” He breathed into her ear.

“
Don’t, Brody. You’re going to hate yourself when you realize I’m not worth this trouble. I ruin every man I’m with. I don’t want that for you.”

He took her chin in his fingers and forced her gaze to his.
“You weren’t the problem. How can you blame yourself for some asshole cheating on you?”

“
I couldn’t give him what he needed.” She answered honestly. “I never even made the effort. I wouldn’t now, not even with you. So just walk away before I can hurt you.” A tear fell and she squeezed her eyes shut. She couldn’t give in, and she didn’t want him to see her fall apart. This hurt so much worse than she ever anticipated.

“
Bullshit. I don’t want to change you. I don’t want you to be something you’re not. I want you, and only you.”

She hated herself, but she opened her eyes and went below the belt.
“Then why the waterworks right after fucking me in
her
bed?”

His eyes bored into her.
“The last time Sarah ever called, she told me she was pregnant. She’d been in Iraq for months. We spent every minute of her leave together but she had to go back. It was another month until she called with the news that she was pregnant and coming home.” His voice broke, but his gaze held. “The very next day, I got a call that her transport was bombed. So yeah, Adam’s call brought up an old wound, and that hurt, but I’ve moved on.”

Guilt washed over her. It all made sense, but that only emphasized how wrong she was for him.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, and tried to push him away, but he wasn’t going anywhere. “Let me go, please. Just walk away now before it hurts worse.”

“
No way in hell.” He leaned into her and growled, “I’m not going anywhere.”

“
Damn it, Brody. This can’t work.” Her tears spilled over. “I’m fucking things up just like I always do. I’m not right for you. Please, just go.”

“
No.” He ran his thumbs under her eyes, catching the tears. “You don’t get to take the easy way out, Fallon. You wouldn’t shed a tear if you didn’t feel the same about me.”

“
That’s the problem. I need to get out now before I can’t walk away from you. Before I manage to….”

His mouth closed over hers, effectively putting an end to her argument. He took a handful of her hair and gently pulled her head back, but there was still heat in his words.
“Don’t, Fallon. Don’t tell me to let you go again.” He breathed into her ear. “I won’t. I’ll fight, I’ll play dirty, but you’re going to see that I want all of you, even the flaws.”

Brody’s other hand trailed down her stomach to open her pants. Damn her, but she let him, and his fingers slid under her panties. He went straight for her clit, pressing just right, wrenching a cry from her lips.

“Tell me you don’t want this and I’ll stop,” he promised as he pressed two fingers into her heat and slowly slid them back out. “Tell me you feel nothing for me and I’ll go.”

“
Brody,” she whispered.

He pulled his hand away and
murmured against her throat. “What? Tell me. Do you want me?”

“
Yes. Goddess help me, but yes.”

His hands caressed down her body to push her pants down. His thumb grazed over the top of her sex, as he took her mouth in a hard kiss.

She couldn’t think when he touched her, but this wasn’t like the last time. This was intense and all consuming, and she knew he meant everything he said. She was terrified because she was falling hard for him. How the hell was she supposed to push him away when he was telling her everything she needed to hear?

Climax washed over her, and he swallowed her cries. He didn’t stop kissing her until she finally
stilled.

There was an edge to his voice.
“We need to talk, but you need to listen too.”

“Yeah, we do.” She just wasn’t sure how she was going to survive the conversation.

“Come on, then.” He marched into her bedroom. Fallon pulled her pants up and fastened them before following.

He stood in the middle of the room with a
dark look that made her want him more.

“
Talk,” Brody demanded.

A harsh laugh escaped.
“If you think you can just get me off and win an argument, you’ve got another thing coming.”

“Damn it, Fallon. This isn’t about winning an argument. I
need
you to see that I want you, all of you, just the way you are. I’m not asking you to change. I’m not asking you to fall for me. I’m asking you to give me a chance because we have a connection.”

“We can’t work, Brody. I’m not what you think. I’m not what you want. Just let me go.” She heaved a sigh, terrified he might actually take her advice. Shit,
the direction of her thoughts wasn’t helping. She wanted to protect him from herself.

He shook his head slowly.
“Can you honestly say you feel nothing for me, Fallon?”

She wished she could. Instead she stood there, frozen in his gaze.

Brody took a step toward her. “Tell me you feel nothing for me, and I’ll walk away now.”

“
I can’t.” Fallon pushed her fingers through her hair. “I can’t. Okay?”

“
Then don’t shut me out.” He closed the distance and stood over her, barely an inch away, not touching her. His eyes burned into her. “I’m not like them. Let me prove it.”

“
No. You’re not. You’re better than that.”

“
So are you.”

“
Fuck, Brody. What makes you think we can work?” She moved to step away, but his hands gently wrapped around her upper arms and she stayed.

“
Since the night you saved my ass, I’ve been falling. Being with you just feels natural. When you aren’t with me, I feel emptier. Trust me, I know what empty feels like.”