In Too Deep (3 page)

“I
was
being careful,” Audra snapped. She clamped her mouth shut and breathed in and out slowly. Then she spoke more calmly. “But the mountain walls are honeycombed with tunnels and caves. We haven't begun to find them all, let alone explore them and know which ones are dangerous. No, it's not a safe place to raise a child.”

Audra turned to Julia. “Not yet. You and Rafe have time to explore and make it safe. But it will take time. Months, maybe years. You
have
years. I don't.” Her slender shoulders squared. Her spine straightened. She didn't mention Seth. Julia and Rafe had years to make sure he was all right, too. They intended to have children, and they intended to raise them right here.

“I need to leave, Julia.”

“No. Absolutely not.” Julia crossed her arms, stubborn and bossy as ever.

“And you need to stay. I need help to get to town and the price of a ticket to take a stagecoach back East. I'll find my f-father. The children and I will move in with him.”

Her father, who had as good as sold her to Wendell Gilliland to settle a gambling debt.

“You're not going back to him.” Julia came over and relieved Audra of the baby. She probably didn't mean it that way, but it looked for all the world like Julia was planning to hold the month-old baby captive so Audra couldn't leave.

“Yes, I am. This is no place for me. I've been a burden to you long enough.”

“You're not a burden, Audra. I love you. You're my family. Maggie and Lily are my little sisters. No, you're not going.”

Ethan itched to join Julia in refusing to let Audra go. But Julia was doing fine by herself.

“If you won't help me, I'll go alone. I don't have a penny to my name. If you don't want to help me with the ticket, I'll get a job in town. Take in laundry and mending. See if there's a diner in town that needs a cook. Or, come to think of it, didn't Wendell own some small business in town, Rafe?”

“He did, but it wouldn't be worth much.”

“I don't need much. I'll sell that and use the money to go back East. Or I'll live in it while I work. I told Wendell I was leaving the night he collapsed.”

“But the main thing you needed to get away from was my father.” Julia's voice rose. “He's gone. You're staying.”

“This isn't a decision you can make for me.” Audra reached over to fold down the corner of Lily's blanket. The baby was still sleeping, having slept through the whole trauma of losing Maggie.

Ethan sort of wished he could have slept through it, too.

“It will be easiest to travel right now. The weather is good. Lily still sleeps a lot. That will leave me free to watch over Maggie.”

“Who never sits still for two minutes,” Julia reminded her. “Let alone days and maybe weeks in a cramped, uncomfortable stagecoach and in a rough train car filled with strangers.”

“Maggie running off is what started this whole thing.” Ethan wished he hadn't spoken when Audra's eyes shot flaming arrows at him before looking back at Julia.

“You've got a new life now, Julia. And I'm happy for you. But we're part of your old life. I'm tired of being a burden.”

“You're not a burden.” Julia stepped away from Audra, swinging her body a bit to block her from Lily. “Rafe, say something.”

“There's some sense in what she says, Julia.”

“Rafe!” Julia clenched her fists.

Ethan hoped she didn't clench her whole body and squash the baby. Then he noticed he had a pretty tight hold on Maggie, too. He didn't want the little one to grow up back East. Still, that was no reason to strangle her. He forced his arms to relax.

Rafe slid one arm around Julia's shoulders. “We'll have lived here a while by the time our children get old enough to wander around. We'll know the caves well by then and can block off the dangerous ones. But right now, with Maggie so young and speedy, and Seth so drawn to the caves . . . Audra's right. It's dangerous.”

“So I'll get packed up then, and you'll take me to town, Rafe?” Audra sounded determined.

“He will not!” Julia took another step back.

Ethan wanted to help Julia escape with the baby. Thinking of Audra leaving didn't sit right. She had no place to go. They could put her on a train back to her father, but who was to say the man would take her in? Or maybe he'd take her in and marry her off to the next varmint who had some kind of hold on him.

“No, I won't take you to town, but I think you should move to the Kincaid Ranch.” After Rafe spoke, the only sound was the buffeting of the mountain breeze.

Julia thawed first. “What? She can't do that.”

“I have no place at the Kincaid Ranch, for heaven's sake.” Audra's mouth started working next.

“What would she do there?” Ethan went from worrying about Audra to being scared to death of her.

“That'd be great.” Seth reached for Maggie.

“I'll keep her for now.” Ethan dodged Seth's hands.

“Audra can be the housekeeper.” Rafe nodded as if everything was settled.

“Audra can't live in a house with two men,” Julia snapped.

“I most certainly can't.” Audra moved to Julia's side. “It wouldn't be right at all.”

“She can if she's married to one of 'em.” Rafe had eyes like a gray mountain fog when he was determined, and Ethan saw that color right now. Not a hint of blue anywhere.

“I'll marry you, Audra.” Seth grinned like a pig in slop.

“Not you.” Rafe turned to Ethan as if picking a wife was just another order Rafe could give. “Ethan.”

Julia had married a lunatic.

“That sounds great, as long as she's at our house.” Seth was even crazier than Rafe.

Audra waited for Ethan to say something equally crazy so she could peg the whole family as madmen.

“I'm not marrying Audra.” Well, at least one of them had some sense. And for once he didn't have a smile on his face.

“What's wrong with Audra?” Rafe asked.

Audra kind of wanted to know the answer to that, too.

“I'm not marrying Ethan. I'm not marrying anybody. Rafe Kincaid, you can't just pick a husband out for someone because it makes life tidier.”

“Sure I can.” Rafe gave her a look that seemed to be . . . pity. Like he pitied her for being alone? Or did he just pity anyone who didn't immediately see that he was the one who should organize the whole world?

“Now, Rafe,” Julia said, patting him on the arm, “Audra doesn't want to marry either one of your idiot brothers.”

“Hey!” Ethan said.

“My brothers aren't idiots.” Rafe crossed his arms and glared at his fiery redheaded wife.

Seth said, “Can Maggie and I go hunt around in the cave again for a while before you marry one of us and we go home?”

Julia arched a brow at Rafe.

With a sheepish jerk of one shoulder, Rafe said, “Well, Ethan's okay. He's the one Audra needs to marry.”

“I'd be proud to marry you, Audra.” Seth sat down on the ground and started pulling off one of his boots. “It's more fun in the caves barefoot. The rocks are nice and cold. Ethan, get Maggie's shoes off.”

Ethan swallowed so hard, Audra thought he must feel a noose tightening around his neck. “Maybe she
could
be our housekeeper,” he ventured.

Audra scowled at him. “I can't live in a house with two unmarried men.”

“Why not?” Ethan looked offended.

The idiot.

“We're decent men. We wouldn't treat you wrong.”

“As long as the food was good.” Seth was tugging on his sock. If he got his feet stripped down and headed for the cave, Audra decided she'd just let him go and live in there forever. But without Maggie. She didn't have a baby in her arms, which left her free to punch someone. Her only problem was deciding who.

“No, you need to marry her.” Rafe pulled his hat off his head. Audra sincerely hoped his hatband was too tight and that would explain his idiocy. “It don't make no sense to put it off. You're bound to marry her eventually.”

“Why would I do a thing like that?” Ethan shifted Maggie on his hip. She grinned at him and pulled his hat off his head and swatted him in the face.

“Because she's young and beautiful, and she's taking care of your house.” Rafe's voice rose as if he was sick and tired of everyone not falling in with his plan. “She'll be cooking and sewing for you, and you'll be supporting her. Maggie already treats you like you're her pa. And you're bound to figure out she's your wife in every way except you can't sleep in her bed at night.”

Utter silence cut through the group. Ethan's eyes swung to Audra.

Audra was pretty sure either her cheeks had caught fire or she was turning a ridiculous shade of red. Julia bit her lip, so maybe she had something to say but thought better of it. Seth's toes were wiggling and distracting him.

Maggie swatted Ethan again and said, “Papa.”

“I'll take the housekeeper job.” Audra said it quick to forestall Rafe's charming proposal. And to get Ethan to quit looking at her.

Then after she'd said it, it sounded a little like she was angling to get herself into Ethan's house.

“Nope, you can't live in a house with two unmarried men.” Rafe crossed his arms. “Ride on into town now and get it over and done. The parson is still around. We saw him.”

“Rafe Kincaid!” A voice Audra had never heard before came from her lips. “You need to quit talking.
Now!
I'm not letting you order me to get married to anyone and especially not to your grinning fool of a brother.”

“Now listen here.” Ethan shifted Maggie to his other side. “There's no call for you to keep calling me a—”

“Whose side are
you
on?” Audra snapped.

Ethan fell silent.

“And if I'm the housekeeper, I can
not
live in a house with two unmarried men. You and Seth have to move out.”

“Move out?” Ethan's brows shot up. “What's the point of having a housekeeper if we don't have a house?”

“He's got a point, Audra.” Seth looked up from the ground and smiled. “I'm looking forward to getting home. I don't want to move out.”

“Well, you're doomed to be disappointed then.” Audra preferred to be kinder to Seth. She had a lot of compassion for him. But right now kindness was beyond her. And her main compassion was for herself. Somehow she'd dug deep, despite her near panic over Maggie, while she'd talked to Seth. But now that it was Ethan she was thinking about, she seemed to have no control of her mouth at all. Where had all that good sense gone?

“You two can bunk with the hands and come in for meals. I'll do your laundry and mending and tend a kitchen garden and keep house.”

“Keep house for
yourself
.” Ethan scowled and she wanted to smack him.

“But you'll have your hands so full, Audra.” Julia shook her head. “Two babies, alone.”

“We'll have to think of something else.” Ethan looked like six full feet of stubborn and another few inches of dumb. He hadn't grinned in a while, though.

“So now you want to get married?” Her fist clenched and she was shocked at her violent impulses. This wasn't like her at all.

While Ethan was busy sputtering, Audra looked at Julia and Rafe, a matched set, and she could see their determination. Julia to keep her here. Rafe to get her married.

Add in Ethan to keep his house and avoid her presence, and Seth to go on his merry, cave-exploring, furiously mad way—probably with Maggie in tow.

She was by far the weakest-willed person in this group. She'd planned to grow herself a backbone, but obviously she was out-classed at every turn, even by the barefoot lunatic.

“So what'll it be?” Rafe asked.

“I'm going back East.” Audra hated the idea of going back East.

“No, you're not. I'm not going to let that happen,” Rafe said with a tone of such absolute assurance that Audra gave that option up, with a lot of relief.

Which left her with some mighty poor choices.

Marry Ethan?

Eject Ethan and Seth from their house?

Stay in this pockmarked deathtrap of a caldera?

The wind gusting through the caldera carried the scream of an eagle. The aspens quaked with a quiet rattle. Everyone stared at her, waiting.

Except Seth, of course—the little maniac.

Audra had given birth twice. She'd traveled out West, great with child, a nursing babe in arms, on a brutally uncomfortable train that felt like heaven once she'd had a nice long ride in a wagon to compare it to.

She'd lived in a shack with five people. One of them her obnoxious, ill-smelling, bad-tempered crank of a husband.

All that. And none of it had been pleasant. But right now, this was the longest moment of her life.

“I can't decide.”

Ethan half raised his hand. “I'll decide for you. Stay here. Watch your baby closer. You'll be fine.”

“I can't stay here. I can watch Maggie, but I can't keep an eye on”—she took a very deliberate glance at Seth—“everyone.”

“So I'll take him and we'll leave?”

“Forever?” Audra knew they'd be back.

Ethan shrugged. She was sure he knew they'd be back, too.

Sounding glum and unwanted, he said, “Sure. Let's go, Seth.”

Ethan pulled his hat out of Maggie's hands and she screamed loud enough to make a man's ears bleed while she grabbed at it, trying to get it back.

“What's she so riled up about?” Ethan looked with horror at Maggie while he put his hat on.

“She seems partial to you, Ethan,” Rafe said.

The screaming went on and Seth got up. “I'll take her.”

Audra felt all eyes turn to her. Except Maggie, who was trying to scale Ethan's body, screaming all the while.

The pressure built, the silence—not counting the screaming—stretched.

Julia's dislike of Seth.

The need to get Maggie somewhere safer.

The sick knowledge that her father would not welcome her home and might in fact sell her off again.

The screaming.

The wrongness of kicking two men out of their home.

Ethan's handsome face.

Audra caught herself. She hadn't meant to include that in her list of reasons why she felt forced to make a choice.

No money. No home. No rest. No real choice.

At least Ethan wouldn't yell at her. That mindless grin on his face had the redeeming quality of being a
quiet
shortcoming.

The screaming.

Her wobbly backbone bent under the pressure. “If you'll have me, Ethan, I'll marry you.”

Ethan got a look in his eyes like a scared calf at branding time. She wondered if he'd start kicking and bawling. She had a sudden image of herself twirling a loop of rope over her head and lassoing herself a husband.

Then his fear faded. He smiled and shrugged as if she'd asked him if he wanted a cup of coffee, and said, “Okay, why not? I don't want to sleep in the bunkhouse.”

It was so far from the romantic proposal of a girl's dreams that Audra was glad she wasn't carrying a loaded shotgun.

She might've started blasting.