In This Life (11 page)

“Hmm.” I leaned back into him so that my head rested on his chest. My hair was spread out upon his shoulders, bobbing up and down like seaweed in the water. He gently gathered it up in his hands and tilted my head sideways so that his lips could skim my face. “Glad to be of service, Mr. Leola.”

His voice grew soft. “Whatever happened to the transplant candidate you’ve been taking care of? The twelve-year-old?”

“Oh, Bryan?” I let out a deep sigh. “Not good. His body rejected the donated liver. He’s back on the waiting list.”

He wound his arms around me. “I’m sorry, baby. I hate it when you have days like that.”

“I know. It really makes you wonder where God is in all of this. How could children be allowed to suffer like that? And the parents! To see their pain, their helplessness, it’s just so heartbreaking.” In leaving me with that rosary, Jude had brought me back to God. Ironically, having Him in my life had helped me with all my losses.

I heard a soft rustling sound coming from his throat. Dante had fallen asleep.

“Tey?” I stroked his arm softly. “Tey? Are you okay?”

“Oh. Sorry.” He twitched in surprise. “This medicine is just making me so drowsy.”

“What medicine? What’s wrong?” I sat up and turned to face him.

“Nothing, just the new headache meds I have. The pain was unbearable last night so I took one this morning,” he explained. “I’m going to sleep it off before we leave for our hot date tonight.”

“I’m worried about you. Those headaches. We should probably see Afihsa sometime this week.” She was a close friend from medical school who was specializing in neurology. “I spoke to her about them a few weeks ago and she suggested that we take some tests.”

“They’re just stress headaches, I’m sure of that. Where have you been for the last ten years? I always have headaches,” he said in jest.

“It’s that job of yours. You need to slow down a bit.” I placed my fingers on his temples and started to rub them lightly. “Look at you. You’ve also lost quite a bit of weight.”

“No, no. I’m fine. I’m not going to work this weekend so we can just relax and take it easy.” He restlessly drummed his fingers on the edge of the tub.

“Not good enough, Leola. Promise me you’re going to meet me this week at the hospital. We’re going to get those tests done, okay?”

“Spark, I need to see an optometrist, not a neurosurgeon,” he countered, now tapping his fingers on the exquisite checkered Italian tile.

“Yes, but—”

“Baby, it’s not like what your mom had. I’m fine. I’m not going anywhere.”

“You never know! One minute you’re here, and the next—” I whined, clutching his restless fingers in mine.

“Never. You’ll never lose me,” he quickly interrupted.

“Promise?” I placed my arms on his and pulled them tighter around me.

He slid down against the tub and allowed me to place my weight on his chest. “I swear,” he answered, cupping his right hand over my stomach and stroking it.

“Oh, Tey,” I sighed. It broke my heart to see him want something so much. I could sense the yearning in his touch, in his kisses, in the way he made love to me so intensely.

“Spark. Please, can we just talk about it? Set a date? Something?”

“We’ve talked about it before, and every single time you bring it up, we fight. I just need more time. How can we have a baby when I’m still doing my shifts at the hospital?”

“I’ve made enough money to retire. I’ll take care of the baby while you finish your residency, and your boards and all,” he argued. He was always ready with answers to my every concern.

“It’s not that easy. A baby requires time and attention. Something neither you nor I have at this point in time. We’ve been through this over and over again!” I did nothing to hide the agitation in my tone.

“I’m sure there’s a way we can find a compromise,” he answered.

“I’ve already given in to what you wanted! We’re married, aren’t we?”

I felt his body stiffen, his arms dropping down to his sides. He slid upwards away from me and pulled himself up out of the water. “So now the truth is out. Our marriage was a compromise.” He proceeded to step out of the tub while grabbing a towel and covering himself with it.

“No! Wait!” I leaned forward. “I didn’t mean it that way, Tey!”

He turned around to face me, towel wrapped around his waist, head dropped, eyes unblinking. “When are you going to settle down, Anna? What else are you waiting for?”

I held out my arms to him. He responded by clasping my outstretched fingers in his and moving to the edge of the tub. I sat up and wrapped my arms around him. “Okay,” I whispered into his neck. I had no fight left in me. Love was all about closing your eyes and jumping in. There was never really a good time for anything; I learned that lesson the hard way five years ago. “Okay. Let’s talk about it. Let’s plan.”

“YOU’D BETTER STAND
back, I think I’m going to burst right here,” I warned, standing in the elevator on the way to the 18th floor.

Dante kept his arm draped around me as the other couples stepped inside. We had just finished a late dinner at one of our favorite spots in Soho and were now on our way to meet Maggie and her boyfriend, Donny. He was now her serious boyfriend, moving to New York to spend all his time with her. His father was the CEO of a popular leather shoe company in Italy and he planned to open outlets in the States.

“You did eat more than you normally do, but it doesn’t show one bit,” he whispered sensually in my ear while slipping his hand under my dress. “I really love this outfit on you.” Dante looked so dashing in a fitted Armani sport coat and slim dark washed jeans. Everything he wore was custom made; his appearance smacked of success. In wanting to match his polished look, I wore a grey leather dress that was fitted and revealing.

“Mmm,” I said with a slight moan, staking a claim and defying the envious stares of the women by rubbing myself against him. He attracted them like moths to a flame. “Behave yourself for a few hours, will you?” I teased back, bent on making the night up to him, whatever it took. I wanted to erase the hurt that my words had caused him earlier.

The elevator doors opened and we all filed out in a line. The rooftop bar at the James Hotel was where Dante and I had our first real kiss. We hadn’t made a friends-with-benefits kind of commitment, but rather a conscious promise from me to see him in a different light. I had never regretted that decision despite the topsy-turviness of my feelings over the past year. There’s so much to be said about closure. I needed it. I knew that if I ever got the chance to have it, I would beg Dante for forgiveness and promise to love only him for the rest of my life.

If only I could. We headed straight to our favorite spot, the blue chairs right by the corner window overlooking the most beautiful view of the city. I hardly had the time to admire the sights before I heard a familiar voice yelling out my name.

“Sparky!” Maggie shouted as she boldly pushed away the strangers who stood in her way. My beautiful friend, with long golden hair and the brightest blue eyes. I was afraid she was going to fall on her face with those five inch heels on the slippery laminate floor. I held my arms out for an embrace. Dante stood up to give her a hug then shook hands with Donny.

“Hi! You’re on time for once!” I said.

Donny stood right behind her with a big grin on his face. He was a former soccer player with wide shoulders and ringlets of brown hair scattered all over his head.

“Hi, Donny. So nice to see you again. Come, sit.”

Maggie took a seat on the blue stool next to me while Donny sat across from Dante, who motioned for the server to take our order.

“Champagne okay with everyone?”

We all nodded in unison.

He turned his attention to a pretty server in a tight black dress who brought her face close to his in an attempt to hear him speak. “A bottle of Dom Cuvee, please, and four glasses. Wait, hold on.” He took my hand and asked, “Baby, is that okay or do you want your Rosé?”

“I’m good with that. Thanks.” I squeezed his hand. “Oh, oh, oh, the hotdog thingies. Get the hotdog rolls.”

“And the breaded franks, please,” he instructed the server.

“And sliders.”

“And the sliders,” he said, giving me a confused look and shaking his head.

“Maggie’s hungry,” I said in defense.

She laughed and took my other hand.

“So, how are things?” I asked.

Maggie looked like she was about to blow up. Puffed cheeks, pursed lips, and Donny had a puppy dog look on his face. These two were holding on to a secret that they couldn’t keep.

“EEEEK!” she squealed as she held up her left hand to reveal a beautiful diamond solitaire on her ring finger.

I jumped up in glee, almost knocking over the bucket of champagne that sat on the solid wooden table.

“Congratulations! Oh my God! I’m so happy!” I cried.

Dante stood up as we all locked arms in a group hug.

“When? When did this happen?” I asked, holding on to Dante’s hand. He had an almost unreadable look on his face. The microprocessor in his brain was running at full speed, and yet he sat there without a change in expression.

“Tonight! Empire State Building! They closed down the Observation Deck for us!” she gushed animatedly.

“She was very surprised. She looked like she was going to hit me!” Donny said.

“When?” asked Dante, trying to hold me down as I bobbed up and down excitedly.

“Next May in Italy! And you will be my matron of honor, Anna. And Dante, Donny wants you as his best man!”

“Me?” asked Dante in surprise.

“Yes, you! He has too many brothers, and choosing one will get him in trouble.” The puppy dog nodded his head in agreement.

“Ah. Well, it would be an honor,” Dante said with a downward tip of his head. I looked at him lovingly before leaning over to kiss his lips. I knew that this subject would surface later on this evening once we were alone. I was roused from my thoughts when the two men stood up to leave.

“We’re going outside for a cigarette,” Dante announced. He smoked socially on the occasional night out, especially after having had a few drinks. I never had to worry about him. He was too much of an athlete to allow himself more than a manageable amount.

“Have fun, boys!” Maggie said as she scooted closer to me.

I reached out and popped a roll in my mouth.

“My best friend is getting married!” I exclaimed, squeezing her shoulders.

“I know, right? Oh, Anna, I’m so happy. I can’t explain it. He’s just the most adorable man I’ve ever met. And he loves me so much. And can you believe it? We can have babies of the same age!” I didn’t have to say anything. She noticed the look on my face. And yet she kept on, trying her best to keep light of the moment. She glanced in the direction of our two men. “Look at them. Our husbands are so hot,” she added, pretending to fan herself with her hand.

I laughed nervously. “God, I wish it was that simple.” I leaned back against the seat and draped Dante’s jacket over my shoulder. “We had—” I stopped cold when I looked up at the line forming for the bathroom. My chest grew tight. The man with his back to me had the same black New York baseball cap over the same black wavy hair, the same compact shoulders with the same strong arms.

“Spark, what’s the matter?” Maggie asked worriedly. “What is it?”

He turned around to scan the room. It wasn’t him. I let out a sigh of relief. Or disappointment.

“Nothing. Nothing. I just thought—”

“Let’s go outside before the men return.” She pulled me up and led me outdoors, skillfully maneuvering me through the other exit as we saw Dante and Donny heading back in our direction. We were scrunched to the side, pushed against the barrier surrounding the swimming pool by attractive, scantily clad women and obnoxious, drunk rich men. This was New York, the land of single, eligible, lonely people always on the lookout for potential targets. In no time, we were surrounded by three men around our age, one of whom I recognized as a paramedic who frequented the emergency room to chat with the nurses.

Maggie turned into Maggie as she grabbed my left hand and flashed both our rings up in the air. “Fly away, vultures. We’re taken.”

The men scuttled away without a word. I laughed through my tears as she handed me a cigarette. I frowned at her as I took it from her fingers, spinning around at the same time to lean against the glass and take in the view. Off in the distance the Empire State Building towered above the others, but it was only one in the multitude of twinkling lights that illuminated the city and brought it colorfully to life.

“Bad influence,” I joked.

“Come on, Sparky. That’s the beauty of you. You’re unorthodox in every single way.”

I inhaled deeply, hoping that the smoke would take my woes away as it exited my body.

“Okay. Talk to me,” Maggie ordered.

The wind lapped at our dresses and we both held them down with one hand. It was a beautiful October evening, a residual gift of the Indian summer still steadily holding on.

“We had another fight today. He really wants to have a baby. We’ve only been married for a year, Mags. What’s the rush?”