In the Silks (26 page)

Chapter 27

~ FIVE WEEKS LATER ~

H
ENRY slammed the door shut behind him. His head was throbbing so hard that he had to squint. He went straight to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, looking for headache reliever. He’d been practically eating the stuff like candy lately, and then using Tylenol p.m. to help him sleep. He went in his room to change and had just pulled his shoes off when he heard banging on the door.

“Open the door little brother, we know you’re in there.”

What the fuck? Pat. Who was We?

Henry went and opened the door, before he could say a word Annie and Pat pushed their way into the apartment. Something told him there was a storm brewing.

“What are you two doing here?”

“Hmm, I wonder? You stormed out on dinner; did you think Ma was going to let that slide?” Annie retorted.

“I didn’t storm out. Julie pissed me off, so I decided to leave.” He retorted through clenched teeth.

“Seems like everything pisses you off lately,” Pat chimed in

“Yeah, whatever, I’m fine. Tell Ma.” Henry rubbed at the back of his neck, avoiding eye contact. “I was just getting ready to go to bed.”

“Dude it’s like seven-thirty.”

“So what Pat, I haven’t been sleeping that well.”

“And why’s that?” Annie asked him.

“Just haven’t.”

“Nope, I call bullshit. You have been off for months, ever since you broke up with Jackie. Now these last few weeks, you’ve been Mr. Cranky-pants.”

“Mr. Cranky-pants? Annie, you’re not dealing with Louis here. Henry, what our lovely g-rated sister here is trying to say is that you’ve been a dick lately.”

“Oh fuck you, Pat.”

“No, fuck you! We’re not leaving here until you spill your guts. You better do it fast too or I’ll have Tara bring Ma over here.”

“There isn’t shit to tell, don’t threaten me with Ma, you’re a grown ass man.”

“Well you’re acting like a little fucking kid, we’re all sick of it.”

“Oh, is that right, let me tell you-”

“All right, enough,” Annie put her hands out to shut them up. “The three of us are going to sit down and talk-” Henry began to say something but she put up her hand to stop him.

“This conversation is long overdue.” she stated uncompromisingly. Pat looked uncomfortable…Pat never looked uncomfortable.

“Henry, I need a drink, do you have any hard stuff?” Annie asked him.

Henry nodded and Annie walked into his kitchen. Pat went and sat on the sofa, his leg bouncing he was rubbing his hands together.

What the fuck was about to happen here?

When Annie came back she had a bottle of Jameson and three shot glasses. She motioned for Henry to sit down and he hesitantly sat down next to Pat. Annie sat on the floor at the coffee table and poured them each a shot. They had two rounds before anyone spoke again. Henry didn’t want to drink with them, not feeling as raw as he was even now.

Loose lips sink ships.

He pretended to not know what was going on but somewhere deep inside him, he did. He was terrified, but almost relieved in a sense too. He couldn't explain it any better than that right now; tension in the room was palpable.

“Okay,” Annie said as she poured them each a third, “What’s the deal, Henry?”

Henry took the shot, letting out a subtle rasp at the burn in his throat. “There is no deal.”

“Oh my God, are we going to have to get you totally shit-faced?”

“No, I’m done drinking.” Henry pushed the tiny glass towards the middle of the table.

“We’ll see,” Annie downed her shot, “Here’s the deal Henry, we’re not blind. We can see that something is going on, don’t you trust us? Have we ever let you down before?”

Henry looked in Pat’s direction.

“Hey, when have I ever let you down?” Pat challenged.

Henry just shook his head, letting his arms dangle between his legs. He felt very so very vulnerable, like a child.

“Please talk to us, you can trust us. I swear to you, whatever is said here, stays here, unless you say otherwise.”

Henry could feel the heat creeping over his eyes, the tingle before tears came. He used his index finger and thumb to push on his eyes to try to rub it away. Their scrutiny was too much right now.

Pat sighed and sat back, “Why did you really break up with Jackie?”

“Excuse me?”

“I know what you told me, but was that all there was to it?”

“What are you trying to say? Are you calling me a liar, Pat?”

Henry felt like an idiot.
Of course, he’s calling you a liar and he’s not wrong.

Henry watched Pat’s Adam’s apple bob, unable to look him straight in the eye.
“
I don’t think you lied really, just maybe left some stuff out.”

“Like what stuff? You know what, don’t answer that. I didn’t lie, not about Jackie. What I told you was true, I promise.” Henry said, a bit dejectedly.

“So, you’re saying that you lied about something else, Henry?” Annie asked.

Henry just looked at her, despite his resolve their little intervention was working on him, slowly but surely.

Annie sat up a bit straighter, she cleared her throat and looked into Henry’s eyes, “We were hoping you would be upfront with us, it’s obvious that you need a little help with that. “

Pat looked nervous and that that made Henry nervous. His older brother was always laid back and Henry had learned that if Pat was worried, you probably should be too.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Annie looked at Pat and he in turn looked at Henry.

“Shit, man,” Pat took a deep breath and scrubbed his face over his eyes. “Henry, I was home that day, with Pop.”

Henry froze, recognition clear on his face. He couldn’t hide it. He had become a little better at lying, but not that much.

“He wasn’t feeling too good, so he went to take a nap and asked me to drive Julie to her friend’s house. I was going to meet up with the guys after that but I forgot something, so I went back home.”

Pat cut his eyes to Annie, she gave him a subtle nod and he continued.

“I walked by your room. I saw… you know, you and Tommy.” Pat said, fidgeting. He looked as uncomfortable as Henry felt. He thought he might be sick; he was so stunned he couldn’t move.

“Henry, we could be way off base here, but whatever is going on with you, maybe this has something to do with it?” Annie interjected.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Henry said in barely a whisper, he turned his head away from them. He didn’t want to see the look in their eyes.

“What was I going to say right then? I was kind of shocked. Besides I really couldn’t say anything, I thought Pop was downstairs asleep. So I went down there to check, I didn’t want him walking in on you. But he wasn’t there. Now I know that he was upstairs and did see you.”

“Why are you bringing this up now?” Henry asked, still not looking at either of them.

“Well, it’s always kind of been in the back of my mind, you know. But I was afraid to bring it up. I thought that maybe you would bring it up to me, if you wanted to talk about it.”

“But why now?” Henry had known for some time that Pat knew
something
; he needed him to say how.

“I was just kind of guessing, but after Jackie you got really weird. Then I saw that message on your computer.”

The message, of course.

“So because of a message you thought what? Say it.” Henry said, indignation dripping from his voice.

“I didn’t think too much, I didn’t just assume you were, you know, seeing that guy.” Pat scratched at the back of his neck as he spoke. “But it made me start thinking about things more. Please don’t hate me.”

Henry looked up at his brother, glaring at him he asked, “Why would I hate you? What did you do Pat?”

Henry’s heart was beating faster, he felt sweat beginning to bead at his hairline. Pat was quiet and now Annie looked nervous.

“Tell me,” Henry said through gritted teeth.

“I looked in your phone.”

Holy. Fuck.

“When?”

“It was a while ago, you got up from the chair at dinner and it was sitting there. I was just screwing around. I took it in the bathroom; I was going to take a picture of my ass with it. But-”

Henry felt sick at his next thought, but he had to ask.

“What did you see Pat?”

Pat picked up the bottle of Jameson and swallowed down a mouthful, wiped his mouth with the back of hand.

“Tell. Me. Now.” Henry’s voice was strangled.

Pat began to scratch behind his ear, “Well I opened the camera and took the picture, then the phone went to gallery mode and there was a picture of you kissing some dude.” Pat looked down to his lap.

“Anything else?” This was torture, but Henry needed to know.

“No, I swear. Louis knocked on the door, I deleted the picture I took of myself so you wouldn’t know I had your phone and when I came out I put it right back where I found it.”

Henry looked skeptical, even though he doubted that Pat would lie to him.

“Henry, I swear I didn’t see anything else.”

Henry still said nothing. Pat leaned over to him on the sofa, “Dude, did you have like dick pics in there?”

Pat statement caused Henry to chuckle only because it was such a Pat thing to say. It also put Henry’s mind at ease a little because if he had seen anything else, he would have said so. No matter how awkward it was. 

Henry looked back and forth between his siblings. “What do you want me to say?”

Annie leaned over and put her hand on his knee. “Just be honest with us. Are you gay? Is this a new thing? Have you always known?”

“I think I need another drink…maybe three.” Henry told her.

“Fair enough,” she said and poured two more rounds before they started talking again.

“So? Have you always known?” Annie asked him.

Henry shrugged, folding his hands together in his lap. “I guess.”

“Tommy?”

“Nothing else happened with Tommy besides what Pat saw.” Saying those words caused his cheeks to heat. “Nothing really happened ever after that, with anyone. Ryan, the guy in the photo, we met at a party one night towards the end of senior year. We didn’t…we, you know what, never mind. Anyway, he had nothing to do with my break-up with Jackie. At least I don’t think he did, one night we went to a show and he was there. I didn’t talk to him for weeks after that though. Jackie and I were already broken up. He was only here temporarily; he’s gone back to New York now.”

“There hasn’t been anyone else?” Annie asked.

“No, why?” Henry asked defensively.

“It’s not an accusation Henry, but why not?”

“Just because.”

“Were you scared to come out?”

“I suppose, but that’s not really it.”

“So…?” Pat interceded.

“So, I caused enough damage to our family. I didn’t want to do anything that would make life any harder for you guys.”

“What do you mean, damage? I don’t get it?” Annie asked, clearly confused.

“Christ, are you really going to make me say it?”

“I think you’re going to have to hon, because I’m really lost here.”

“Pop, his stroke, it was my fucking fault!”

Pat and Annie both stared at him, stunned looks on their faces. They were both speechless, for Pat that was a sign of the Apocalypse.

“I’m sure now that you’re both putting it together, you’re starting to hate my guts.” Henry began to stand up, a slight wobble in his stance from all the alcohol. He needed to go to his room and hide until they left. There was nothing else to say, he was gay and had practically killed their father. End of discussion.

Annie grabbed his ankle. “Stop right there. Are you insane? What the hell would make you think that?”

“Annie, don’t play stupid. You’re the smartest one of all of us.”

“Hey!” Pat protested.

They both shot Pat a dirty look.

“Little brother, sit your ass down now! You’re talking crazy shit and although I’m offended at that remark about Annie being smarter than me, I’m going to let it slide…for now.”

They all looked at each other for a minute, Annie cracked first, and her smile was contagious, pretty soon they were all sitting down again.

“Henry, you think because Pop saw you guys, that you caused his stroke? That is so fucked up and so not true!” Annie told him.

“What did Pop see?” Pat asked.

“Does it matter? He saw us and next thing I knew he was in the hospital.”

Annie rubbed her temples, “Henry, no, just
No
! You need to talk to Ma.”

Henry knew she was right but that would require so much more bravado then he’d needed to face his brother and sister.

They talked some more and Henry gave them a little more information. Not too much though. They drank more and Tara came to get them a few hours later, leaving Annie’s car behind. Henry stumbled off to his room, stripped naked and climbed into bed. His brain was too flooded with liquor to process all that had been said and shared tonight so he just tried to focus on thoughts of Ryan. Tears still came despite his best efforts to fight them down and Henry literally cried himself to sleep.