In the Shadow of the Shield (Secret Lives Series Book 2) (18 page)

She deliberately left out the part about the three cops being the drug traffickers. After her conversation with the chief, she thought she better let him do his thing before she started spreading the story. Not that she owed the department anything, but Donnie would have wanted it that way, and her husband deserved that from her.

Jessy: Drug traffickers?

Cyndi: Um…does any of this have anything to do with the two guys on the job that got arrested last night?

Leave it to Cyndi to put two and two together. She couldn’t lie to her friend.

Diana: Maybe. Okay, yes.

Cyndi: What did they do?

Diana: Well, it’s still under investigation, so you really have to keep this quiet, but it looks like they were involved in a meth cooking operation back when Donnie died. We—I—think Donnie was onto them, and they set him up to make his death look like an accident. Remember how they said he went into that house because there were kids inside?

Cyndi: Yes, Jason said he was dispatched because neighbors saw two kids enter the house, and there was a terrible smell coming from it, so they were afraid of a gas leak.

Diana: No gas leak. Bleach and ammonia intended to kill my husband. The whole thing would look like carelessness on his part because he shirked regulations and ran in after the kids. At least that is the working theory Carter and I had.

Jessy: So, where did you getting kidnapped come in?

Diana: We were staking out the house Sunday night. Carter got a lead that the guys involved were cops, and they were going to be moving stuff to another location. So we snuck in and set up a stakeout. Only we got separated, and one of the guys found me hiding out.

Angela: And they were all cops?

Diana: Unfortunately, yes.

Cyndi: Jason told me about Luke Wilkins and Chief Roman.

Jessy: Chief Roman was involved?

Diana: Yes. There was a third one too. His name was Schmidt.

Angela: How is that possible? He’s been on leave. Cut two fingers off building a shed in his backyard.

Diana: Or they got caught in the cutting machine they used to wrap their packages of drugs.

Angela: Are you kidding me?

Diana: I wish I was. It doesn’t matter though. He’s dead now.

Cyndi: I haven’t heard anything about that?

Diana: As of thirty minutes ago, he hasn’t been found yet. I bet they will be pulling him out of the water in time for the eleven o’clock news.

Jessy: I’m still stuck on Pete dealing dope. I have known him my whole life. He and my dad were buddies in the National Guard.

Cyndi: I know, Jessy, it’s all really surreal right now. What water is the body in?

Diana: The same retention pond he tried to drown me in.

Cyndi: Oh my God, Diana! Did you kill him?

Diana: No. But if I’d had my gun on me like I should have, then I would have.

Angela: I am so glad that you are all right! I nearly had a heart attack when I heard you were in the hospital again.

Diana: I’m fine, Ang. Just still really cold. But the nurses have hooked me up with a bunch of toasty warm blankets.

Cyndi: How’s Carter?

Diana: Jackson said he will be fine. I haven’t seen him or talked to him.

Cyndi: Jackson knows about you and Carter?

Diana: Yes.

Angela: Knows what?

Diana: That there is more between us than a cup of coffee and the questions surrounding Donnie’s death.

Jessy: So, you really like this guy?

Diana: Yes. But it doesn’t matter.

Jessy: What do you mean by that?

Diana: Nothing can ever come of it. I can’t live in the shadow of the shield anymore. Not when those shadows have become so much murkier, with dirty cops and set-ups and drug deals and murders. No matter how much he thinks he is falling in love with me.

She wasn’t sure when she had made that decision. Was it when Wilkins threw her in the back of the truck? Or when Carter texted her his goodbye from the burning drug house? It could have been when she watched him get shot in the chest, or maybe when she nearly drowned in the icy pond. All she knew was she couldn’t live with losing another man she loved to the job.

Angela: He said he loves you? And now you want to break his heart?

Diana: He said he loved me when he thought he was dying. People say all sorts of things when they are dying.

Cyndi: Are you sure about this, Diana?

Diana: I’m sure.

Angela: I only want you to be happy, and I thought Carter made you happy.

Diana: It was probably just a crush, Ang. I’m not a schoolgirl anymore. The choices I make have consequences that affect Jackson, not only me.

Jessy: You have considered that Jackson will be leaving for college in a few months, and then you will be by yourself?

Diana: I am aware of that fact, yes.

Cyndi: The man nearly gave his life for you, and to find out the truth about Donnie. Seems to me like you owe him a little bit more than a too-bad-so-sad goodbye.

Diana: I’ll talk to him when he gets out of the hospital. I don’t want to do anything to get in the way of his healing.

Cyndi: I’m actually thinking that you falling out of his life, while he is in the hospital, will have a far more negative effect.

Diana: I’ve made up my mind. I have to do what’s right for me and for my son.

Cyndi: Forgive me for saying this, you know how much I love you, but you are just being a big chicken.

Diana: This coming from the woman who tried to talk me out of a relationship a week ago? A little two-faced, aren’t we?

Angela: Ladies, this isn’t helping anyone.

Diana: The conversation is over anyway, Ang. I’m going to get some rest now. I’ll talk to you all soon.

Cyndi: Wait, Di…?

But she didn’t wait. Diana had no desire to explain herself to her friend any more than she already had. Shutting down her laptop, she placed it on the bedside table and snuggled under the layers of blankets. She was still chilled to the bone, although her fingers were no longer blue. That had to be a good sign. Diana yawned. Exhaustion settled over her, forcing her heavy eyelids to finally close.

Chapter Seventeen

The house was unbearably quiet when her phone rang. She had been home from the hospital for nearly a week, but hadn’t left the house. Jackson had finally gone to the mall and picked up her replacement cell phone for her, and Cyndi had texted a few times. Diana never responded. She didn’t know what to say. Last she heard, Carter was set to be released from the hospital that morning. An old friend worked in the intensive care unit, and had been keeping her updated via email. Other than that, she’d been avoiding the outside world.

The ringing of her phone startled her.

“Hello?”

“Good morning, Mrs. Massey. This is Chief Brannon of the Virginia Beach Police Department. I hope this call finds you well?”

“Good morning. Yes, thank you. I am feeling much better. How can I help you, Chief?”

“I wanted to let you know that both Officer Wilkins and Assistant Chief Roman have copped to everything. They traded confessions for a reduced sentence. There won’t be a trial.”

No trial. Good. She had no desire to ever see either of them again.

“Including Donnie’s death?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“How reduced?”

“Twenty-five for each of them.”

Well now, that wasn’t too reduced. She could live with twenty-five years.

“Any chance for parole?”

“No.”

“Good.”

“I want you to know how sorry I am—for everything. With your husband’s reputation in the department, someone should have caught onto this sooner. Officer Ryan will be receiving a commendation for cracking the case. Is there anything at all the department can do for you or your son?”

“No. Not for us. But do something for other families who are affected by line-of-duty deaths. Make sure you have the whole story before closing the case.”

“I understand, Mrs. Massey. If it’s all right with you, I would like to present Detective Massey with a commendation posthumously. I know it won’t do much to ease your mourning, but I feel like it is long overdue.”

“A commendation? For what?”

“Officer Ryan turned over some evidence that was collected by Detective Massey prior to his death. It appears he was onto the drug scheme and was about to break the case when he…”

“When he was murdered?”

“Yes.”

“Thank you. If Donnie was here, he would appreciate it.”

“Once again, I apologize, and I hope that this will give you a bit of the closure you need.”

“Thank you, Chief.”

He bid her goodbye, and disconnected the call. Diana sat for a long while in a chair in the kitchen, holding her phone and considering what she had just heard. Donnie was going to be honored. So was Carter. Donnie finally had the justice he deserved, and she could move on with her life.

But what exactly did that mean—moving on with her life? She was in her forties, widowed, and about to have one very empty nest. The only job she had ever held as an adult was a phone sex girl—she wasn’t sure exactly how that would translate to a resume.

It didn’t matter. She had Donnie’s pension to live off of. Maybe she could volunteer or something. Get a hobby, even. Diana had no idea what she even liked to do for fun anymore. Donnie had proposed the day they graduated high school. They married when she finished up at the community college. A year later, Jackson came along, and the last seventeen years had been chock full of everything Jackson needed and did. Her son was now a young man, about to start his adult life. She needed to figure out how to be on her own.

Big changes were needed. No more status quo. The first thing she had to do was quit her job. She got up and went into the office to dial Rick on the work phone. For some reason, her conversation with Leo the week before had been weighing on her. He had moved on. It was time she did too. Staying with her job meant living in her past, and Diana was finally ready to move forward.

Rick picked up on the first ring. “Hey, doll.”

“Hi, Rick. How are you?”

“You’re calling to quit, aren’t you?” She thought she detected a hint of a smile in his voice.

“It’s been a hell of a week, Rick, and I have finally figured a few things out. I think it’s time for me to start my life again.”

“I’m gonna miss you, Misty Dawn. You bring something to the company that is hard to come by. But, honestly, I always knew I was on borrowed time with you. Ten years is a long time in this job, and when you left after—well, when you were gone for a bit there—I figured that was it.”

“It should have been, Rick. I’m sorry. I guess I was trying to make everything the same as it was before my husband died, but nothing is the same, and I have to find a new way in life now.”

“Websites are pretty hot these days. You given any thought to modeling?”

“Rick!” She couldn’t help but laugh at his comment. “I’m in my forties! Not exactly what’s selling these days!”

“Oh, Misty, you would be surprised what guys are into.” Rick laughed with her. “I guess that’s a no go on the website then?”

“It’s a definite no go. But thank you. Thank you for everything. Despite it all, I really enjoyed this job.”

“The guys loved you. You put
Personal Encounters
on the 900 number map, you know.”

“It was a good run. Believe it or not, I will miss you.”

“Aw, you never know, I just might check in on you every now and then.”

“Oh, Rick. It’s absolutely fine if you do. You take care of yourself in the meantime, okay?”

“You too. Best of luck to you. I know life has great things in store for you, so make sure you take the time to enjoy the ride.”

“I will. Thanks again Rick.”

“No, thank you.”

She hung up her work line for the last time, and then dialed the phone company to arrange to have it disconnected. That part of her life was over forever.

Diana rose from her chair, and took one long look around her office. The room needed a makeover. As soon as it warmed up outside, she would tear the place apart and redesign it. The hole Donnie had left was still there. She ran her fingers over the crumbling drywall. That would be the first thing she fixed. No sense in having a constant reminder of Donnie’s last day hanging around forever. This was officially the first day of the rest of her life.

Full of resolve, she headed back to the living room to get online and start shopping for new furniture for the office. As she waited for the computer to turn on, a knock sounded at the front door. Fear engulfed her, despite the fact that she knew the three men who wanted her dead were incapable of doing anything about it anymore. The knocking grew louder. She grabbed her phone, ready to punch in 9-1-1, and tiptoed her way to the front door. Peering through the peephole, she came eye to eye with Carter Ryan.

“Come on, Diana, open the door. And don’t shoot me, I’m unarmed. Well, not exactly, but, anyway.”

She turned off the alarm, unlocked the door, and pulled it open. “Carter.”

“Yes.” He smiled and rubbed his hands together. “Are you going to let me in? It’s awfully cold out here for someone recovering from multiple gunshot wounds.”

“It’s only been a week. Should you even be driving?”

“I didn’t. My buddy dropped me off after he picked me up at the hospital.” Carter turned and waved at a red Jeep Wrangler pulling away from the curb.

“Wait. Where is he going? How are you going to get home?”

“I take that to mean you aren’t happy to see me.” His expression darkened some. “I guess that’s why you never visited me in the hospital.”

“I’m sorry, Carter. I—I just couldn’t. I didn’t know what to say to you.”

“How about asking me how I was feeling? Simple, yet very effective.”

Diana let out a long sigh. “I really am sorry. It was just—just so much to process. I nearly died. You nearly died—twice. Those men killed Donnie…”

Her voice broke as she fought back the tears that had been trying to fall for a week. Carter stepped forward and reached for her, but she stepped beyond his grasp. He grimaced and wrapped one arm across his abdomen. “Sorry, still hurts a bit when I move the wrong way.”

Her heart ached. She wanted to feel his arms around her so badly. She might as well tell him everything, and then call him a cab. If she didn’t do it now, her heart might win out over her brain, and she would fall right into that handsome man’s embrace. “Do you want to come in and sit down?”

“I thought you’d never ask.” Carter’s face had gone a doughy shade of pale, and he limped a little bit as he walked to the living room. He settled on one end of the sofa and patted the cushion next to him. “Sit with me. Let’s talk this out.”

Diana sat on the opposite end of the sofa, keeping a buffer zone between them. “I thought you died. You texted me goodbye. The house was on fire. My heart broke into a million tiny pieces. It was like losing Donnie all over again.” The words tumbled from her mouth in a rush, followed by a flood of tears.

“Is that what this is about?” he asked, his voice tender. “I’m so sorry that you had to go through that. I thought I was a goner. I wanted you to know how I felt, while I could still tell you. I was terrified.”

“I’m so sorry,” she apologized for what felt like the hundredth time as she wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. “I shouldn’t be crying.”

“It’s okay. It tells me you care. I was starting to think I had imagined everything between us.”

She shook her head. “No, you didn’t imagine it.”

“So, what aren’t you telling me?”

Ignoring his question, she asked one of her own. “How did you get out of the house?”

“Thank the good Lord ol’ Lookie Louie doesn’t listen so well. He broke into the house and helped me get free.”

“Thank God for Louie,” she agreed. “He saved me too. How did you find me?”

“Louie again. He heard them talking about the storage unit before they set the house on fire.”

“Thank you.”

“For what?” Carter looked at her, confused.

“For coming after me.” A fresh batch of tears fell from her eyes.

“Aw, baby, why wouldn’t I?” Carter flinched as he tried to move closer to her. Diana jumped from the sofa and moved to a chair across the room. The pain in his eyes gave way to hurt. “Why do you keep running away from me? I don’t understand.”

“Please. You have to—losing Donnie nearly killed me. Losing you—well, it was more than I could handle. When I got that text message, your goodbye…”

“And my ‘
I love you
.’”

She sniffed, her heart aching at the pain in Carter’s expression. “Yes. I couldn’t bear it. Any of it. And then watching you get shot—that was more than my heart could handle. Oh, Carter!” She buried her face in her hands.

He worked his way off of the sofa, crossed the room to where she sat, and slowly lowered to his knees in front of her. Taking Diana’s hands in his, Carter pressed a kiss to the top of each one. “I wish I could take it all back, trust me I do. But what’s done is done, and as far as I can tell, all that really matters is we are both here now.”

“That water was so cold. I fought to get out of the truck, and then when I found you, left for dead, I knew I couldn’t live through another line-of-duty death. It’s best for both of us if we go our separate ways. I will always be grateful to you for bringing justice to Donnie’s death. Really. There’s no way I can do this again.”

She separated herself from Carter’s touch and climbed over the arm of the chair. Distance, she needed a little distance. Her resolve was wavering more and more every time she looked into Carter’s saddened eyes. He worked his way from the floor to the chair. Little beads of sweat pooled on the greyed skin of his forehead. It took every bit of willpower not to run to him and kiss him and tell him everything would be all right.

“Let me call you a cab. You need to get home and get some rest.”

“Diana, please. Give us a chance.”

She grabbed her cell phone and started to dial information.

“Damn it, Diana! Put the phone away, and hear me out!”

The phone fell from her hand with a crash against the wood floor. “No, you hear me out! I am not the right woman for you. You’re young, handsome, and you have a great career. I’m a sad, lonely widow who used to work as a phone sex operator. I can’t even have kids anymore, I’m too old! You deserve a woman who is whole. Not the hot mess that I am.”

“I don’t even want kids! I have no idea how to be a father.”

“Stop! Will you just stop?” She slid down the wall until she hit the floor. “None of this is going to do either one of us any good.” Resting her head against her knees, Diana fought back another round of tears and willed Carter to leave. “Why don’t you just go?” she whispered.

“Is that really what you want?” Carter asked, sounding so sad her heart crumbled in her chest.

“It’s for the best.”