In the Shadow of the Shield (Secret Lives Series Book 2) (10 page)

Diana had about enough of her son’s attitude. “Jackson Donald Massey, go to your room!”

Jackson laughed. “
What
?”

“I said, go to your room.”

“I’m almost eighteen years old! You can’t send me to my room like a little kid.”

“I can, and I am. Go. We are going to have a long talk about what sort of role you think you have in my life. And then we will discuss cutting classes, and acting like a delinquent!”

“At least I’m not acting like some kind of tramp.” To Carter he said, “Dad would be so pissed! He’d kick your ass, you know!”

“Upstairs, now!” She was beyond angry.

“You’re actually sending me to my bedroom?”

“
Now
, Jackson!”

“Okay, fine! But I’m only doing it so you will get rid of
him
!” He grabbed his backpack and actually stomped his feet all the way to his room.

“For someone who doesn’t want to be treated like a child, you sure are acting like one!” she called after him. Jackson replied by slamming his door so hard the windows rattled.

“I should definitely be going.” Carter smiled as he placed a kiss on her forehead. “That youngster of yours is not my biggest fan.”

“I’m pretty sure that he wouldn’t like any man who’s not his father in my life.”

“Am I?”

“Are you what?”

“In your life?” Carter had stepped in close. She could smell the musky scented soap he'd used that morning.

“Do you want to be?” she asked, a little intrigued by the turn in the conversation.

He leaned in and pressed a long, lingering kiss to her lips. “What do you think?” he asked as he pulled away.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close again. “I think you might,” she whispered against his mouth.

His only answer was another one of those long, lingering, teasing kisses. When he let her go, Diana felt the loss of his touch intensely.

“You go ahead and talk to your son. I’m going to head out. I have to work the next few days, but if I hear anything from Lookie Louie, I will let you know. I have Saturday off. I’ll call you.”

Saturday seemed so far away. Even after years of experience as a cop’s wife dealing with rotations and swing shifts, she'd never really liked it. Now she was about to jump back into that life all over again. If things worked out with Carter…

Whoa there, Diana. Let’s not put the cart before the horse! This might be one of those cougar flings.

Cougar flings. Oh boy. She was a hot mess all right. Too much late night television in her life.

“Okay. I have some things to get done this week. Give me a call when you can.” She walked him to the door, and, standing on tiptoe, placed a quick peck on his cheek.

“First chance I get.” He grinned, scooping her up and crushing his lips to hers in a quick, hot kiss. “Talk to you later this week.”

Diana watched as he took the porch steps two at a time, jogged to his truck, and pulled out of the driveway.

“Time to find out what’s up with my child,” Diana said to herself as she closed the door and climbed the stairs to the second floor. Loud music pulsed behind Jackson’s closed bedroom door. She turned the knob, but it was locked.

“You are playing with fire today, young man,” she muttered as she dug out the bobby pin from a drawer in the hall table she had used to pop the lock when he was a child. Jimmying the bobby pin until the lock clicked, she pushed open her son’s door, marched to the stereo, and pulled the plug out of the wall.

“What are you doing?” Jackson demanded from where he was sprawled on his bed, reading a magazine.

“What are
you
doing? I sent you to your room as punishment—not so you can make me and the neighborhood deaf with that ridiculousness you call music!”

He rolled away from her and dropped the magazine to the floor. “Whatever.”

“Don’t you ‘whatever’ me, young man. Your behavior today is off the wall and unacceptable.”

Jackson jumped off the bed and faced her, his stance defiant. “
My
behavior? How about yours? What exactly
were
you and Mr. Cop Man up to, anyway?”

“First of all, his name is Carter. Or Officer Ryan, if you prefer. He was a friend of your father’s, and he deserves respect, if for no other reason than that. Second, I am an adult and am capable of making my own decisions about who I spend my time with, and I
don’t
have to clear it with you.”

“Some friend. Dad would be pissed!”

“Watch your mouth, young man!”

“
Okay
. He’d be angry that his friend is moving in on his wife when he has only been dead a year!”

“
Only
a year, Jackson? A year is a really long time to be alone.”

“You have me.”

“I do. But you are old enough to understand that is different. Besides, who said anything about Carter
moving in
on me?”

“Oh please, Mom. I may be young, but I’m not stupid. He looks at you the way you look at those fancy cupcakes at the bakery.”

She tried not to laugh at Jackson’s colorful description—she did lust after those cupcakes. It secretly pleased her that Carter’s desire for her was so obvious, but Jackson didn’t need to know that either.

“Look. I know your dad’s death has been hard on you. You’re a teenage boy, going through a lot of things without your father to see you through it, but you don’t have any right at all to determine who I spend my time with. I may be lonely, and I may be a widow, but I am still your mother, and your mother would like to address the fact that you skipped out on your last two classes.”

“Don’t worry about it, mom. No one will notice.”

“I notice. Cutting class is unacceptable.”

Jackson dropped back down to his bed, perching on the edge like a bird about to take flight at the slightest hint of danger. “I had to get out of there. I felt so—confined.”

She walked over and sat down next to her son. “What’s really going on, Jackson?”

He kicked at a dirty t-shirt on the floor. “I don’t know.”

“I think you know something. Cutting class, talking back, blowing up like this—none of it is you.”

He shrugged. “I know. It’s like I’m not myself lately. I’ve been really missing Dad lately, and seeing you with some other guy is really weird.”

She wrapped an arm around his shoulders and hugged him. “I know, honey. I’ve been missing him too. And that’s perfectly okay. But he is gone, and we have to learn to live—and enjoy life—without him, no matter how much we don’t want to. Dad wouldn’t want us to be sad or angry all the time, you know?”

He nodded, but didn’t speak. They sat together on the bed for a long while before Jackson finally said something. “It really is weird for me to see you with another guy who isn’t Dad. And to think about you—eewww—I can’t even say it.”

This time she didn’t bother holding back her laughter. “I don’t think you’re supposed to think about that anyway. Besides, right now we’re only friends.”

“Yeah, friends with benefits maybe.”

“Jackson Donald Massey!”

“That’s twice today you’ve pulled out my full name, Mom. You must really be into this guy.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Come on, Mom. I was born on a day, but it wasn’t yesterday.”

Donnie used to say that all the time. “You are so much like your father.”

“That’s not a bad thing, is it?”

“Of course not!” She hugged him again and rose from the bed. “I like Officer Ryan, but that’s it for now. Okay?”

“Do I have a choice in the matter?”

“Nope. I don’t suppose you do.”

“Well, all right then. I guess it has to be okay.”

“No more skipping classes.”

He nodded in agreement. “Okay.”

“I love you, you know.”

“I know you do, Mom. I love you too.”

As she closed the door, she heard the music resume, but at a much more manageable volume. Jackson was still mourning his father, and she understood completely. She missed Donnie some days so much it hurt. But what she had said was true. He wouldn’t want either of them going through life sad or angry over his death. Donnie loved life with a passion, and it would make him angry if he thought either one of them wasn’t keeping that part of him alive.

Diana wandered around the house for a bit, straightening things up and thinking about the day. When she reached the kitchen and caught sight of the stool Carter had been sitting on—
she
had been sitting on with him—her cheeks warmed. The strength of Carter’s arms around her had been almost as sensual as his lips on hers. Diana hugged herself, eyes closed, as she replayed the last moments before Jackson had interrupted them. What would have happened if her son hadn’t walked in when he did? How far would she have let things go?

This feeling like a teenager ravaged with hormones thing was both weird and exciting. Maybe forty-six wasn’t so terribly old after all.

Hours later, it was after midnight and Diana was wide awake. Grabbing up her laptop, she went into her room, changed out of her clothes and into warm flannel pajamas, and then climbed into bed and logged in.

Diana: Hey gals! How’s everyone doing tonight?

Jessy: Still haven’t found a job. I’m pathetic. No one wants to hire me for anything. I’m either overqualified or underqualified.

Diana: I’m sorry, Jessy. I can’t imagine how frustrated you must be.

Jessy: It’s okay. I’m feeling a little down tonight. Got another rejection after an interview.

Angela: You want to try dispatching? They are recruiting for the third shift.

Jessy: I don’t think I could even pass the test for that, Ang.

Angela: Aww…Jess…don’t be so hard on yourself. When God closes a door, he always opens a window. It just might take a little time.

Jessy: You have so much more faith than I do.

Diana: Where’s Cyndi tonight?

Angela: Date night with Jason. Only a cop’s wife gets date night in the middle of the week. LOL

Diana: Nice. I miss date nights with Donnie.

Jessy: You could try date night with that handsome young cop you’ve been hanging around with.

Diana: You’re a funny girl, Jessy. Who says he is even interested in such a thing?

The memory of the two of them on the stool in the kitchen moved to the forefront of her brain again, warming her entire body. Yeah, he was interested in
something
.

Jessy: Please! I can almost see you blushing through the computer!

Diana: Hmmm…I guess we’ll see.

Angela: You’re being coy, Di. Did he kiss you?

Angela was always straight to the point. Should she kiss and tell, or wait and see if there was something a little more concrete before sharing anything about her relationship—if one could call it that—with Carter?

Diana: Right now we are simply enjoying getting to know each other.

Angela: I knew it! You’ve kissed him!

Diana: I didn’t say that.

Jessy: Angela’s right, you don’t have to say it. I know you did. What was it like? I bet he is one hot kisser!

Diana: A true lady never kisses and tells.

Angela: OMG, Diana! Come on, you’re killing me here!

Diana: Okay! Okay! I may have let him kiss me…

Or, she may have attacked him, throwing herself at him like some wanton lady of the night, but they didn’t need all of the details.

Jessy: It was hot, wasn’t it?

Diana: Not too bad.

Angela: Diana!

Diana: All right, fine. It was freaking awesome. Donnie is the only guy I’ve ever kissed, so I’m probably being naïve about this, but, yes, Jessy, it was very hot.

Jessy: I knew it! I always thought he might be pretty good at it.

Diana: Jessy?

Jessy: I mean, he’s so good looking. Kind of broody and sexy, you know?

Oh, did she ever know. That broody, sexy guy had her insides all tied up in knots with the tricks he knew. Even as she sat there contemplating it, her nerves starting humming, and her heart rate picked up. Then the guilt kicked in. She was technically a married woman. No. The vows said
until death do you part,
and through no fault of her own, death had done them apart.