In the Shadow of His Wings (24 page)

Help her to hear Your voice!

Hilda sat there and listened to Laura speak words that she had heard her say before, but this time she felt a tugging at her heart that she couldn’t explain. She wanted to tell Laura to be quiet and leave her alone. She wanted to watch her TV shows and not think about it. At the same time she felt something pulling at her but didn’t understand it.

She was about to ask Laura a question but before she could, Gerhard came down the stairs.

“You’re home early.” Hilda said, annoyed at being interrupted.

“Don’t mind me; you ladies continue your conversation.” Gerhard went past them and into Laura’s room, closing the door. Laura stood up, concerned about what he was doing in her room, a small knot of fear forming in her mind.

Christine, you have been pushing Jesus at me since you got here. Why?” Hilda asked.

This was a question Laura was glad to answer as she tried to ignore the fact that Gerhard was in her room.

“Mom, because He is your friend, He is your savior and He loves you!” Laura hugged Hilda with tears in her eyes, she wanted so desperately for Hilda to accept Jesus into her heart. Hilda patted Laura on the back but still wasn’t totally convinced that Jesus was what she needed. It just all sounded so simple. Part of her wanted to just say the words to make her daughter happy and get her to be quiet about it. She was getting tired of the same old discussion. The girl was like a broken record. She was spared from the decision of what to say and how to handle it by Gerhard emerging from Christine’s room.

“Mom lets go upstairs and work on supper. Christine I left something on your bed for you to look at.” Gerhard helped his mother stand and led her up the stairs.

Laura was disappointed that her conversation with Hilda was interrupted. She didn’t have much time to think about that as she walked hesitantly to her room. She couldn’t help but feel that knot of fear growing in size as she approached her doorway.

She knew that Gerhard had been working on something to punish her for her escape attempt and this must be the moment. He had taken Hilda upstairs so she would be alone to deal with it.
Jesus I need You! Hold me close.
Gerhard had been alone in her room for a few minutes so the first thing Laura did was walk past her bed and go to her dresser checking to see if the picture of Lacey was still safely tucked inside. She was relieved to see that it was still there. She slowly and reluctantly turned towards her bed. There sitting on her pillow was Lacey’s textbook. The one that Gerhard had brought her the day he had reminded her of his threat to hurt her daughter if she didn’t cooperate. He must have hunted around her room looking for it. She was grateful he didn’t take it but she wondered why he left it on her bed. She went to it, reaching for it with trembling hands.

Her heart was pounding loudly in her chest and her legs felt weak with fear. As she picked up the book she could see the edge of a newspaper article sticking out from between the pages and she gently pulled it out. As she read the headline ‘Young Woman Found Badly Beaten’ her legs buckled and she heard a scream echoing in her room, not realizing for a moment that the scream was coming from her own mouth. She read the article as her thoughts raced, trying to make sense of the whole thing. There was no mention of any names and she knew there was a chance that this wasn’t actually Lacey but then she thought that it must be. Gerhard had indeed carried out his threat and gone after her daughter.
Oh God, my poor Lacey!
Laura’s whole body began to shake as sobs consumed her. She crumpled onto the floor weeping uncontrollably.
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.

Words to pray at that moment wouldn’t come. Her thoughts went to Jim and how hard this must be on him. He would no doubt be at the hospital, sitting at Lacey’s bedside praying for her recovery. The article said they didn’t expect her to make it through the night. Laura knew that Jim wouldn’t leave Lacey alone for a second. No doubt Josh would be there as well.
Poor Josh!
He and Lacey were close. This would be hard on him. Tears continued to pour down Laura’s face. Laura turned the article over and noticed that Gerhard had written something on the edge of the back of the clipping. She wiped her eyes as she read what he had written.

“Now I expect you will behave or Josh will be next.”
Laura sucked in her breath, clutched the newspaper article and book close to her, rocking back and forth on the floor, sobbing. She knew at that moment that Gerhard had totally broken her. From that moment on she would do whatever it was he wanted her to do.

Chapter 21

Hilda unpacked the food Gerhard had brought home from the restaurant.

Opening the containers to see what there was. Prime rib, baked potatoes and cauliflower with a cheese sauce. It smelled wonderful but for some reason she had no appetite and the aroma didn’t appeal to her. She barely looked at the food as she took the containers out of the bags. Gerhard got some fresh vegetables out of the fridge for a salad. He smiled to himself as he thought of Laura downstairs reading the newspaper article. He did feel a small twinge of guilt at the pain she must be feeling. He quickly pushed that aside as he mentally patted himself on the back for the brilliant way he handled her punishment. Laura was properly disciplined. He didn’t even have to get his hands dirty.

Gerhard didn’t expect that Laura would be any trouble after today. He suspected that he could even take her handcuff off and she would stay put in the basement with no problem at all. He would not take that risk of course, but the thought that he probably could was very satisfying. He washed all the vegetables for the salad and set them on the table with a cutting board and knife for his mother to prepare. She preferred to do this task herself as it was one she could do sitting down. Gerhard turned back to his mother to tell her the salad ingredients were all ready. Hilda was gasping for breath as she collapsed to the floor. He rushed over to her side, deep concern on his face and panic in his voice,

“Mother, what’s wrong?” he quickly checked to see if she was breathing and was greatly relieved to see that she was. However when she didn’t respond to his question, his concern deepened. Trembling with fear Gerhard jumped to his feet and yanked open one of the kitchen drawers, pulling out a clean dish cloth. He quickly soaked the cloth with cold water, rushing back to his mother’s side. He wiped Hilda’s face and neck, calling out to her and urging her to wake up. His heart was pounding with fear; he didn’t know what to do. Her skin had a grayish tinge to it and her lips were blue.

Gerhard’s stomach churned as he took in his mother’s appearance.

“This is bad, this is very bad” Gerhard moaned, trying desperately not to panic.

“Please mom, wake up, I need you. Don’t leave me. Christine needs you too.

Come on, wake up.” Gerhard continued to frantically wipe Hilda’s face with the cold cloth and he almost sobbed with relief when Hilda opened her eyes and moaned.

“Don’t just sit there, help me up” she demanded, trying to sound strong but her command came out in a very weak and shaky voice.

Gerhard gladly helped her to her feet and over to one of the kitchen table chairs.

“Are you ok? How do you feel?” Gerhard asked with deep concern.

“I’m fine, just a little dizzy. Get me a glass of water.” Hilda pushed Gerhard’s hands and the wet cloth away, clearly returning to her old self. He quickly got her a glass of water, relieved to hear his mother barking out orders as usual. Hilda drank the water and after resting for a moment turned her attention to the salad vegetables. Gerhard studied his mother’s face, relieved to see that her lips were no longer blue and some colour was returning to her cheeks. He checked on the main course which was already unpacked and then thought once again of Laura downstairs. He wondered how she was handling reading the newspaper article and he wanted to go check on her.

“Mom, I’m going downstairs to see what type of salad dressing Christine would like tonight. I’ll be right back.” Gerhard looked cautiously at his mother; still not sure she was all right.

“Whatever kind she wants I’ll have too. That way we can mix it all together.” Hilda responded. Gerhard was surprised at his mother’s generosity. Usually it was Hilda’s preference that came first, not Christine’s. He decided not to question it as he headed for the basement steps. He looked back once more at his mother, concerned that she was ok and happy to see she was chopping the vegetables, humming to herself. He quietly opened the basement door and went down the steps, smiling all the way. He felt very proud of himself at that moment and expected to see a more submissive and obedient Laura sitting in her room. When he got to the bottom of the stairs he could hear Laura crying and was surprised the sound of her sobs felt rather unnerving to him. His smile quickly left, he was a little stunned to feel guilt instead of pride. The closer he got to Laura’s room the louder her sobs were. Gerhard pushed her door open and was surprised to see her on the floor with her back to him. She was rocking back and forth sobbing. Gerhard didn’t feel so proud of himself anymore. Now he was surprised to feel deep shame instead. He also felt a sense of fear that he hadn’t felt before.
What have I
done?
His mother was upstairs, clearly not well and here was Laura, not hurt physically, but obviously a beaten woman. Gerhard was confused, he was so sure he had handled the situation brilliantly, now he was terrified that he had made a horrible mess of things.

Quietly Gerhard mumbled, “I don’t know what to do here” Laura turned at the sound of Gerhard’s voice. She saw the look of confusion and fear on his face but mistook it for anger instead.

“Well, you win.” She said in a flat voice, with tears pouring down her cheeks.

“I win?” Gerhard questioned, his confusion growing. He couldn’t see where he had won anything. He felt more like he was losing, losing everything. His mother, his sister, (who really wasn’t his sister at all), and most of all, his peace of mind.

At that moment Laura was able to see that Gerhard wasn’t angry, but was afraid instead. She noticed that his hands were trembling and that his voice was shaky. Signs that she first took for anger, she could now see were of fear. Now it was her turn to feel confused. Why would Gerhard be afraid when he was the one in control?
But he’s not in
control here, is he Lord? You are!
Laura understood then that God was at work in the situation, Gerhard was not at peace because God was not giving him any peace.

Laura got up from the floor and sat on the edge of her bed, still clutching the text book of Lacey’s in one hand with the newspaper clipping in the other. She looked up at Gerhard and for the first time saw how truly pitiful the man looked. She couldn’t believe she had ever felt any fear of him. At that moment he didn’t look like anything to fear at all but only something to be pitied. She also saw how weak and frightened he was. Laura truly hated what Gerhard had done to her. She hated that he had kidnapped her and taken her away from her family. She hated what he had done to her daughter, IF

indeed this article was about her daughter. With no name mentioned it could be anyone.

Her fist tightened on the newspaper article as she thought of what he might have done to Lacey, but she no longer felt afraid of him.

“No Gerhard, I was wrong. You don’t win. You haven’t won anything, have you? Did you think that just because you have hurt my daughter and therefore broken my resistance that you would have peace? You have no peace in your life do you? As a matter of a fact I would think that you probably have bad dreams often, don’t you?” Laura looked at Gerhard and felt that God was revealing truths to her at that moment that she hadn’t known before.

Gerhard stood there listening to Laura talk and was amazed at the words she spoke. He wanted to run from the room but at the same time felt like he couldn’t move from the spot.
How could she know about the dreams?

“Gerhard there is only one way for you to feel peace. You won’t find it by working hard and making lots of money. You won’t find it by making your mother happy. You won’t find it by gaining control over me. There is only one way to find total peace and that’s through Jesus Christ. God
is
real Gerhard, and He wants to help you but you have to make the first move. You have to surrender to Him first and then He can give you peace.” Laura had fresh tears in her eyes now but these tears were not for her daughter and they were not for her. These were for Gerhard. She knew that he had listened to her talk to Hilda several times about Jesus. He had heard some good gospel truths, but would he receive it? That’s something he could only do for himself.

Gerhard heard the words Laura said but still felt torn inside. He turned from her room and headed towards the stairs. As he walked away he was struck by what a calm woman Laura was. How could she be so calm and peaceful? It didn’t make sense to him. Could this God of hers really be giving her that kind of peace? She had more peace with that chain on than he did. It didn’t make sense to him. Gerhard went up the stairs and decided to ask his mother what she thought of all this ‘God’ and ‘Jesus’ talk. He knew the two women had had many conversations about the subject, he wanted to get his mother’s honest opinion on it. He could certainly trust her to be blunt if nothing else. He slowly walked into the kitchen and looked over to the table to where he had left his mother sitting.

“Mom!” Gerhard yelled as he ran over to the table. Hilda was still sitting in her chair but her head was on the table and she was slumped over the cutting board, the sharp knife clutched in her hand. Again he was relieved to see that she was still breathing but she had clearly fainted again. Once more her skin was gray and her lips blue, but this time they seemed even more so.

“This isn’t good, this isn’t good at all!” Gerhard grabbed the wet cloth, freshened it with more cold water, attempted to revive his mother once again. He was relieved when she came around quickly but this time she wasn’t as lively as she was before. This time she appeared to be very weak and had no interest in continuing to work on the salad. She had difficulty breathing, struggling to take each breath.