In the Shadow of His Wings (23 page)

The rest of the afternoon progressed as usual although Gerhard found it hard to focus on the hotel business. The winter had been quiet and business had been very slow but that was normal for Niagara Falls. Spring time brought in more tourists and by the summer the place would be packed and no doubt filled to capacity every weekend and close to it during the week. Normally Gerhard had no trouble throwing himself into his work but these past several months had proved to be a strain for him. He thought when he kidnapped Laura, it would take the pressure off him with his mother. He would be able to relax, and enjoy some freedom. However he felt anything but free. Every time he saw a policeman his muscles tensed up. Each time there was a knock on his office door he expected it to be the police, there to arrest him. He had nightmares about it as well, the dreams becoming more intense and realistic. Some mornings when he woke up he felt truly surprised to find himself at home in his bed instead of a jail cell. Then there were other days when he felt himself actually believing the illusion he had created for his mother. When he came down the stairs and saw Laura sitting there he truly believed she was Christine. His mother had grown so attached and comfortable with her and she was so happy having her there. He knew he had done the right thing in bringing his sister home. His mother used to nag at him in the evenings and give him a hard time about every little detail and she didn’t do that anymore. He hadn’t seen her this content in years. Gerhard often came down the stairs quietly, stopping half way and sitting on the steps, listening to their conversations. The two women had some pretty intense discussions and Gerhard enjoyed listening to them converse. Christine had become very religious and Gerhard got a chuckle watching her try to convince their mother that she needed Jesus in her life. Hilda was a stubborn one and not easy to convince. Gerhard knew that his mother was enjoying the sport of it all, stirring up a debate with Christine, and trying to get her mad. From what Gerhard could see Christine didn’t play along very well though because he never saw her get mad or even argue back. She was incredibly patient with Hilda and very calm when she talked to her. So unlike the way she was as a teenager. Back then she was a regular ball of fire. It didn’t take much at all to set her off.

Her and mother would butt heads at the smallest of things and end up in the loudest of screaming matches. Not now though, Christine was respectful and humble. Gerhard wondered where she had learned that. From what Gerhard could see he thought that at first his mother didn’t like the change and missed the challenge of the fight. With time she came to really love and appreciate the change in her daughter. He hated to think of what his mother would be like if Christine were to succeed in an escape attempt. He shuddered at the thought. She would be impossible to live with! The more he thought about it the more he realized he wouldn’t have to live with her at all. If Christine, or rather Laura, escaped then she would go straight to the police and he would be arrested.

Then what would happen to his mother? There was no way Hilda could manage life on her own. She hadn’t even been out of the house in years. Of course there’s always the possibility that the police would arrest Hilda too, she was after all, an accessory. Gerhard thought of his mother in prison and cringed. She wouldn’t last a day. He resolved to make every effort to ensure that Laura did not escape from her basement prison. He would show her the newspaper article and let her believe that he had hurt her daughter.

He knew it was a cruel thing to do but it was necessary to keep this woman under control.

He could live with the nightmares. Eventually he was sure his nerves would settle down.

With summer coming and the tourist season picking up he would be too busy to worry about anything else anyway.

Laura paced about her basement prison as much as her chain would allow. She looked down at her chain with disgust. She hated it with every fiber of her being. She thought she should be used to it by now. Some days she honestly didn’t give it much thought but at times she thought it would drive her insane. The skin on her wrists had grown tougher and used to the wear of the handcuff so that wasn’t a problem but the constant pull of the weight of the chain was annoying. She was often woken up during the night by the chain becoming tangled in her legs or just the weight of it pulling at her arm. Many times she had dreamt that the chain was a paper one and that she was able to easily tear it off and then laugh at how silly she was to have put up with it for so long, but then morning would come and the cruel reality of the steel chain would greet her. Other nights she would dream she fell into a deep lake and the weight of the chain would pull her down, unable to rise to the surface for air, she would panic, knowing she was drowning. She had told Hilda how much she hated the chain and she had actually seen signs of a softening heart in the woman and thought she might be getting somewhere with her, but after her latest escape attempt she knew there would be no relief of the chain in sight. She was stuck with it.

Laura continued to pace nervously about the basement. Normally she did this in an attempt at exercise but lately it was done more out of nervousness. She knew that Gerhard was furious with her over her recent escape attempt. She was terrified at what he might do to her daughter. She had practically worn the picture of Lacey out, handling it so much as she prayed over her daughter. Laura trusted God and she knew she should have faith. At the same time she couldn’t help but feel afraid of what Gerhard would do.

He was a confusing man. Sometimes he seemed so nice, almost sweet. He could be so kind and thoughtful. Laura saw this side of him often in the gifts he brought both her and Hilda and the way he brought food for them. He didn’t just bring food but he took pleasure in bringing food that he knew they liked. He went out of his way to get their favorites. He enjoyed presenting the food to them in attractive dishes and appealing settings. It was obvious that their pleasure was important to him. The gifts he brought them at Christmas and for Laura’s, or rather Christine’s birthday, showed a great deal of thoughtfulness. So how could such a kind and thoughtful man also be capable of kidnapping a woman, holding her prisoner, keeping her from her own husband and children? The only way Laura could make any sense of it was to believe that Gerhard was mentally ill. Somewhere in his mind he believed he was doing the right thing. He must think that by bringing her here for the sake of his mother, he was being a good son and that made everything ok.

Laura was also quite aware of the fact that Gerhard was not a stupid man.

Anyone who could own and run a major hotel was not an idiot. She looked around the basement; he had clearly put a lot of thought into this prison of hers. She had tried several times to reason with him and get him to let her go. He refused to even listen to her. Of course he would know that if she left here the police would arrest him for kidnapping, and so he dismissed her arguments and wouldn’t even discuss the matter with her. What scared Laura most was when she was alone with Gerhard and he still acted like she really was Christine. Laura felt sick to her stomach when he acted that way.

When he was angry with her and threatened Lacey, then it was clear he knew she was Laura and that she had a family outside of this basement. It was during those moments that she got a glimpse into the inner mind of Gerhard Bloone and she didn’t like the sickness that she saw there. The man was clearly unbalanced and Laura wondered if he was nearing a mental breakdown of some sort. What if something happened to Gerhard when he was at work? What if he had a total breakdown, or what if he just snapped and killed himself? What if he had a car accident and died? What would happen to her and Hilda then? Laura didn’t know if Hilda had a key to her handcuff or not and if she did, would she let her go? Hilda wasn’t exactly a rational woman herself and if something happened to Gerhard then she would no doubt cling even tighter to Laura. Laura’s stomach churned as these fears ran through her mind.

Laura went to her room and although she felt weak with fear she knew where to turn for strength and peace. She turned to the word of God. Pulling out her bible she sought God for comfort, knowing He was the only one that could calm her fears and the only one that could give her peace. She could do the ‘what if’ game all day and find herself no where except for in the pit of depression. That was not a place she wanted to go. She turned to Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”
Well God, I sure don’t understand why I’m in this situation; I don’t
understand this chain or this basement. I don’t understand Gerhard or Hilda, but I
CHOOSE to trust in You, so that’s what I’m going to do. I purpose to trust in You. I am
so weak Lord, I tremble with fear on my own. I choose not to walk in that fear but rather
to lean on Your strong arms and let You carry me through this.

Laura heard Hilda come down the stairs and turn the TV on. Looking at the TV

she saw it was time for the afternoon soap operas. She thought about whether she would join her in watching them today or not. She remembered when she watched them years ago how easily she became hooked on them. It didn’t take long at all before she was caught up in the story lines and found that she couldn’t tear herself away from them each day. She was amazed that after all these months in the Bloone basement she wasn’t at all addicted to Hilda’s soaps. She watched them occasionally in order to keep Hilda company and in hopes of developing a relationship with the woman. She couldn’t help but follow some of the story lines yet she didn’t feel at all drawn into them. She couldn’t care less who was in love with who. There was one story line that did catch her interest for a little while. It was about a woman who was kidnapped. She was abducted by an evil twin sister. Big surprise there! Soap operas were famous for their ‘evil twin’ story lines. This evil twin kept her sister captive in the bottom of an old abandoned well. It was a horrible, cold, and damp place. Watching those episodes did make Laura appreciate the fact that her prison was at least a reasonably comfortable one. She had a nice bed and bathroom. She was kept warm and well fed. It allowed her to see that even amidst all her heartache she had things to be thankful for. Laura went into the living room and sat with Hilda to watch the soaps. Hilda only watched for a few minutes before she fell fast asleep. Laura looked over at the large woman with concern. Her complexion was very pale. Laura thought she didn’t look well at all. Hilda started to snore loudly, so loud she actually woke herself up. She stirred in her chair and Laura got them each a drink.

“Are you feeling ok mom?” Laura asked with concern.

“Yes I’m fine, why?” Hilda muttered as she opened her can of soda and gulped most of it down in one swallow.

“You don’t look so good, kind of pale. I’m worried about you. When was the last time you saw a doctor? Maybe you should go get a check up or something.” Laura took hold of Hilda’s hand and was concerned at how clammy it felt.

“Nonsense, I don’t need to see a doctor. They will just tell me I’m too fat. I already know that. Nothing else is wrong, I’m fine.” Hilda pushed Laura’s hand away and turned her attention back to the TV, clearly dismissing Laura and her concerns.

“Mom, can I ask you something?” Laura refused to be ignored.

Hilda sighed, “I guess so, what?”

“Do you believe that you will go to Heaven when you die?” Laura decided to be blunt.

“Well first of all I’m
not
dying so you can put that thought out of your mind.

Secondly when that day comes, yes, I suppose I do believe I will.” Hilda spoke her answer and then waited for Laura’s response, knowing that this was not the end of the discussion.

“Why do you believe you are going to go to Heaven mom?” Laura asked.

“Because I’m not a bad person, that’s why. I’ve done the best I could with my life. I’m not perfect, but no one is.” Hilda shrugged her shoulders and tried to brush Laura off and turn back to her TV. It was clear the subject was not a comfortable one for her. She would just as soon not get into it, but Laura had no intentions of letting the subject drop and pushed onward.

“Mom, according to the bible, being a good person isn’t enough to get you into Heaven. I have another question for you. Would you say that God is a loving God? That He is forgiving, all powerful, knowing and perfect?” Laura asked.

“I don’t know, I never really thought about it.” Hilda was getting frustrated now as she turned towards Laura. “I suppose He would have to be wouldn’t He. I mean He’s God isn’t He? So He would have to be all those things. So I would answer yes to that question. Do you have another question for me, miss smarty pants?”

“First of all you are right; the bible says that God is all those things and yes I do have another question for you, one more. How would you describe people? Do you think people are basically good, giving and loving, or do you think they are destructive, greedy and selfish?” Laura was pleased that Hilda was at least paying attention to her questions and getting into the discussion. She knew Hilda liked to debate but she would rarely discuss anything during her soaps. Laura thought she might actually be hitting a nerve here.

“I’ve known only a few really good people in my life time. So I would say that overall I think most people are greedy and selfish. If you don’t look out for yourself, no one else will. My own father taught me that one. So what’s your point? I’m sure you have one.” Hilda waited for Laura.

“Yes I do. According to the bible, God is holy and perfect and He can’t live with man that is sinful and disobedient. God said that the punishment for sin is death and since all men live in sin they deserve to be punished. God did not want to send people to hell. You see mom, God loves all of us so much, and He loves each one of us individually. He doesn’t want you to go to hell. That’s why He sent Jesus. He sent Jesus, His only son, to take the punishment for us. All you have to do is accept and believe that Jesus died for your sins. You ask Him to forgive you for your sins and invite Him into your life. You then turn away from your sin and live for Him.
That’s
how you get to Heaven.” Laura looked at Hilda hopefully.
Please Lord; let this be the day that she
opens her heart up to You. Soften her heart Lord and lift the blinders from her eyes.