In the Heart of Forever (24 page)

“And you’re trying to protect her from that happening again,” Emilia added.

I nodded.

“Wow. Déjà vu.” She placed her hand on my arm. “Rave, you can’t protect everyone. You need to watch out for yourself but I’m glad that you called the police this time.”

“Jesse stopped me from strangling him. If it wasn’t for her, he…I don’t know how far it would have gone.” I shrugged out of her grip and rose to my feet. “I won’t let him hurt her again. I’ll fucking kill him. I’ll do it. I swear to God, I will kill that bastard if he touches her again.” My voice filled with venom as anger seeped through my bones, making my heart race against my chest.

“Yeah? And then what happens if you get caught again? Huh?” Emilia yelled. “You won’t go to juvie this time. You’ll go to prison. Hard time. And not for seven years. Jim was a cop and look at what you did to him. You’re lucky you didn’t get put away for life.”

“Jim deserved everything he got.” I growled. “And I’d do it all over again if it meant protecting you.”

“And I appreciate that, but that right there is what’s going to get you into trouble again. You need to control your temper, Rave. If you want to save this Jesse girl, then you need to calm down. You need to think before doing something.” Emilia said softly.

I sighed, shoving my hands in my pockets. “I…”

“We are here for you. You can’t go at this by yourself. There are ways we can deal with this situation,” Ren said.

“She blamed herself for everything. I think I have her convinced that it’s not her fault but I’m not sure. I need to get her out of there.” My heart tore and my blood boiled just thinking that she was home alone with that monster.

Emilia raised an eyebrow. “Sounds like someone else we know, doesn’t it?”

“I…” All of these years, I blamed myself for what happened to Emilia when really it was only Jim’s fault.

Oh God, after all of this time. “I’m so sorry, Emilia.” I pulled her into my arms, squeezing her. Hugging her with everything in me. All of the guilt that I carried on my shoulders for seven years came crashing down around me. How could I expect Jesse to stop blaming herself for everything when I hadn’t forgiven myself?

Emilia cried against my chest, wrapping her arms around me. “I’m so sorry, Rave. I’m so sorry for the guilt and blame you put on yourself. I never wanted that. Never. Please forgive me. Forgive me for the hell I put you through.”

Was I hearing her properly? She was apologizing to me? I released myself from her and held her at arm’s length, looking down into her tear filled gaze. “You have nothing to apologize for, Emilia. I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry for not returning your calls or your letters. I’m sorry for not believing you originally when you came to me and but I’m not sorry for what I did to Jim or Jesse’s stepfather.”

She sighed. “Well that’s a start but I want you to stop feeling guilty over what happened seven years ago. It’s in the past. I’m over it and you should be too.”

My eyes flicked to Ren’s and then back to hers. “You’re over it?”

Emilia turned and sat back on the couch. “I’ve been getting help.”

I joined her on the couch and Ren pulled up a chair. “Are you a patient here?”

She laughed. “No, but I was.”

“I don’t understand.”

Emilia grabbed my hand. “Rave, you know I was diagnosed with Schizophrenia when I was a kid.”

I nodded.

“Well, when Jim first started…” She swallowed. “hurting me, I went to mom about it but she told me I was hallucinating and blamed it on my illness.”

Anger bubbled in my belly but I didn’t speak, letting her continue.

“I don’t think anyone would have believed me if it wasn’t for you walking in and catching him,” She confessed.

My stomach clenched at the memories of Jim on top of my sister, forcing his hands…I shook my head.

“After that night, all of our lives took a turn for what we thought was the worst when really, Rave, you saved me. You helped me realize that I needed help. Mom never had the doctors put me on medication. She thought it was all in my head. After you got sent to juvie, I came here and admitted myself, voluntarily.”

“You did?” I asked, shocked that she would do such a thing.

She nodded, smiling slightly. “This place has been my home away from home for the last seven years, Rave.”

“I thought you lived with Abigail.”

“Yes, I do. But that’s only been for the past year. She’s been my life saver. If it wasn’t for her, Ren and this place…” She squeezed my hand. “and you…”

My eyes widened.

“I don’t know where I would be right now,” she added.

“Me?” She thought I had helped her?

We both sat there, embracing in our hug when heavy arms wrapped around us both. The three of us. Siblings. Back together finally.

Now I just had to get Jesse back and get her the hell away from Allan. For good.

In the Heart of Us

Part 4

Jesse Dawson

Chapter 31

Jesse

When Rave and Ren left me alone that morning, I really thought I was making the right decision. I couldn’t have Rave watching over me constantly. It wasn’t possible. I knew he wanted to protect me. Protect me from the evilness of my stepfather. Rave had already been through too much in his young life to take on another burden like myself, but I had told him that we would talk about that later. I didn’t know what I was going to do.

The look in Rave’s deep green eyes as he wrapped his hands around Allan’s neck terrified me. He would have killed him if I wouldn’t have done something. My chest tightened. Should I leave Rave? Would he be better off without me?

Needing to keep myself busy, I cleaned up Rave’s apartment. My eyes kept flicking to the entrance door, like Allan would barge in at any moment.

The hair at the back of my neck rose. I needed to get out of there. I couldn’t spend the rest of my life locked away in Rave’s apartment. Even though according to Allan, I had deserved everything that was thrown my way…
Oh God, mom.

Did I deserve everything?
It’s not your fault.

God, how many times did I hear Rave say that to me? Was I finally listening? It’s like something had changed in me in the past month. My emotions were scattered and all over the place but I was more angry and furious. Not the timid, shy little girl I once was. A traumatic experience can change a person and I hoped Allan rotted in Hell for the shit he did to me.

Pulling my phone out of my bag, I put the ear buds in my ear and turned the music up loud. Drowning out my thoughts, while I continued tidying up the small home. After a couple of songs, the music was interrupted by someone calling me. Sighing, I answered without checking to see who it was.

“Hello Jesse.”

Rave.

I closed my eyes as his smooth deep voice washed over me. My fingers tingled, wanting to run them through his soft shaggy black hair. “Hi.” A lump formed in my throat. I missed him so much already and it had only been a couple of hours since I had seen him last. His deep green eyes that portrayed all of his emotions, letting me know exactly how he felt. But I had to be strong, for us.

“Are we still good?” His voice was low and it sounded sad.

I sat on the edge of his bed and gripped the phone tightly in my hand. Something had happened today after they left. I could feel it deep down in my stomach. “Yes.”

A sigh of relief came through the receiver.

“I want to see my mom.”

“Okay baby, I’ll take you to her.”

My heart lifted.

“I’m heading home now to pick you up and then we can sort this shit out, alright baby?”

“Okay…”

“What?”

“What are we going to do?” I winced, bracing myself for what he would say.

There was a pause before he replied. “We’ll figure something out.”

“Rave, that—”

“Jesse, trust me.” The line disconnected.

My stomach fluttered. I did trust him. With my life. I couldn’t shake the heavy feeling in the pit of my belly since he had left. I had a feeling that this day was only going to get worse.

***

I paced the small living room and kept checking the clock. It had been a half an hour since Rave called me. My nerves rattled my bones that Allan would come to Rave’s and that he would do something stupid. He would obviously be furious that we had called the cops on him. I didn’t know how he would react and I also didn’t know if I would be able to stop Rave again if his temper took over.

A loud thump outside the door froze me in my tracks.
Oh God.
Was Allan here?
My eyes flicked back to the clock, praying that Rave would get there soon. I needed him.

Hot fear burned in my belly as the thumping continued outside the door. The knob jiggled and a body banged against the door.

“Little girl, I know you’re fucking in there.”

My stomach dropped, cold sweat racing down my skin.
How did he find me?

I looked around the small living room of the bachelor pad. I had nowhere to go. I ran for the window and attempted to unlock it but it wouldn’t budge.

Panic settled deep into my bones as I grabbed my phone and did the only thing that I thought would help. With shaky hands, I dialed the numbers and waited.

“911. What’s your emergency?”

I swallowed hard. “He’s going to kill me.” Ignoring the dispatcher’s questions, I gave her the address and hung up the phone. At that point, my whole body felt numb and I waited.

“Let me in, brat.” Allan’s voice was cold and deadly, making me cringe with disgust. The knob continued to jiggle when all of a sudden it stopped. I felt like I was in the eye of a storm, waiting for the true terror of it to hit when the door flew open with a loud bang. He stepped into the room, looking disheveled.

I stood there. My heart raced against my ribs, my limbs shaking. I clenched my fists and took deep breaths as I watched him.

His clothes were out of place knowing that he had slept in them all night. Bruising marked his neck from where Rave had almost squeezed the life out of him. Too bad he hadn’t succeeded. His eyes roamed over me, trailing up my body, leaving pin pricks of hatred in its path. “You thought you could hide from me.”

I swallowed several times but couldn’t speak as ice cold fear gripped my spine.

His jaw tensed. “You called the cops on me.”

My stomach twisted. Did he hear me just now on the phone?

“I blame that fucking boyfriend of yours.” He continued. “If he wouldn’t have shown up, you wouldn’t have had the balls to call them.”

I let out a sigh of relief that he hadn’t heard me a moment ago but I didn’t respond. I glared at him, my fists clenching and unclenching at my sides. My eyes flicked to the door. There was no room. The living room was way too small for me to run around him and escape.

“There’s nowhere to run,” he growled.

“The cops know what you did. And you can’t win. Everyone knows you’re a monster now.” My eyes scanned the area around me, searching for something sharp or heavy.

Allan’s eyes lowered, darkening. “I don’t fucking care. He’s not here now, is he?”

I gulped. No, he wasn’t. I was trapped. Anxiety swirled deep in the recesses of my belly. Shaking myself, I ignored the impending panic attack, breathing through the fast beating of my heart. Embracing the rage that tore through me instead, I glared at him with as much malice as I could muster.
Come on, Allan. Bring it. Give me everything you got.

Allan had come here for one thing and unless I was strong enough, he would take it. Take what he wanted from me. It had happened only once before but the dark hatred filled gaze boring into mine at that very moment had me questioning if I would survive this. If I didn’t, I would at least go down fighting, for myself and for Rave.

“We got some unfinished business, you and I,” Allan snarled, taking a step towards me.

My heart started racing, palms sweaty as ice cold fingers of fear scraped at my skin. He had blamed me. I didn’t deserve this. No one did. “Please, Allan. Just leave me alone. I’ll leave. I’ll do whatever you want, just don’t hurt me again,” I begged, holding my hands up.

He thought a moment and then sneered. “But that’s exactly what I want to do.”

I frowned, confused. “What the hell are you talking about?”

He took another step towards me. “I want to hurt you. Because of you, I lost my wife and my reputation is now shot to shit.”

My throat went dry. “My mother isn’t dead.”

He smiled. “Maybe she is.”

My stomach dropped, sadness and pain momentarily taking over the hatred I had felt for him. “No, she can’t be. You’re lying.”

Allan’s eye brow rose. “Am I? How would you know if I’m lying or not?”

“Because…Oh God. No. She’s not dead. I don’t believe you.” Bile rose in my throat, burning me. She wasn’t dead. She couldn’t be. She was in a coma. Not dead.