In the Distance (25 page)

“Tyler.”

The small moan that vibrated against my lips spurred me on. I lifted my hands to his face, pulling him even closer. I wasn’t worried about how this was going to end. As he parted his lips, his tongue gently stroking mine, the only thing I thought about was how right this felt.

“Oh, sorry!”

We broke apart, both of us turning to the open shed door and the poor soaked lady standing there. I instantly burrowed my face against Trevor’s neck, my face heating up as his arms circled me.

“No problem. We were just heading out.”

Without looking at either of them, I hurriedly locked up the toolshed, then grabbed Trevor’s hand. Both of us were soaking wet by the time I’d dragged us across the gardens to the parking lot.

He steered us to his rental car, opening my door before getting in himself. He gave me one last searching look before starting the car and pulling out of the parking lot. There was so much to say. The only thing I knew for certain was I wasn’t sorry for kissing him.

Chapter Thirty-One

Trevor

On the drive to Tyler’s apartment, neither of us spoke. After his impulsive kiss in the garden, I should have been thinking about taking it slow. But no one kissed like Tyler, eager and hot and unconsciously sexy. Even rain soaked and covered in dirt and mud, he was so fucking handsome.

When he noticed me watching him, for once he didn’t look away. He held my gaze until I glanced back at the road. I wondered if he’d let me back into his life. Sure he’d been the one to kiss me, but that didn’t mean he was ready for something more. As I pulled up in front of his building, I shut off the rental car. The rain beat down on the roof and windows and for a moment it felt like we were cut off from the rest of the world.

“What are you doing tonight?”

“I’m off. I worked two doubles back-to-back.”

Realizing it was now or never, I bit the bullet. “What would you say if I asked you out on a real date?”

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Trevor.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. But you’ve never gotten the whole ‘Trevor Date Experience’ before.” When I used air quotes to emphasize the words, Tyler laughed again. “And I promise, it won’t be anything extravagant or outlandish. I just want one last opportunity to take you out. No strings attached, just some good, clean fun. You have to promise to be gentle, though. I’ve never done this before. I’m flying by the seat of my pants here.”

When he didn’t answer right away, I reached out, laying my hand on the console between us, palm up.

Tyler glanced at my hand, then my face. I felt bare. Vulnerable. Even though he’d been the one to kiss me earlier, I wondered if this was too much. My heart thumped in my ears as I waited for him to respond.
Come on
,
Tyler.
Say yes.

When he reached out and slid his hand into mine, I let out the breath I didn’t realize I’d be holding. Tyler squeezed my hand and smiled when he said, “Yes.”

* * *

It had been a grueling afternoon waiting for the clock to finally give me the green light to leave the hotel to pick him up, but the look on his face when we got to our destination was worth it.

I smiled as Tyler looked around the place with wide eyes. There were places like this in New York, upscale bar/arcade/all-in-one play zones with huge TV screens for watching sports, and a bar that ran the length of the side of the building. When I’d gotten back to the hotel, I’d racked my brains for the perfect place to take Tyler. I knew he didn’t want a five-star restaurant, and I was too selfish to lose two hours of time with him in a dark movie theater. Then I found The End Zone, a one-stop party shop. It wasn’t as crowded as it probably was on a Friday or Saturday, but even I was amazed at the number of people scattered all over the place.

“This place is crazy.”

“I’ve been to a few places like this in New York. We can bowl, shoot some pool, do some damage in the arcade, your choice. I read online they even have a go-kart track out back.”

Tyler’s eyes widened even more. “Go-karts.”

I smirked, leading him over to the huge desk. “You do know I’m going to leave you in the dust out there.”

“Oh, it’s totally on now.” His smirk stopped me in my tracks and I desperately wanted to kiss him again, but I wanted this to be about fun. A real date, not an opportunity to impress him or put the moves on him. So, I threaded my fingers with his and pulled him after me toward the smiling teenager behind the counter.

An hour later, we were sitting in the dining area devouring a pizza, ironically enough, called The Jerk. It was covered with onion, bacon, roasted red bell peppers and jerk chicken. It wasn’t New York-style pizza, but it was damn good. Between bites, we ribbed each other about kicking each other’s asses on the track. I could still hear his hoots after winning the first race ringing in my ears.

“What’s next? Bowling? The gravity ropes? Laser tag?”

“I like my feet planted firmly on the ground, so no gravity ropes for me. And bowling reminds me of going to the lanes with my parents and the church group too much.”

“Laser tag it is, then.”

Tyler set down the crust of his fourth piece and narrowed his eyes. “Isn’t that kind of a kid game?”

“Oh, Tyler. I have so much to teach you.”

Once Tyler got the hang of the game, he was unstoppable. It was his idea to climb to the top level and take the sniper position in the corner so we could take out everyone below. We’d earned a few glares after we won the third game, but it was all worth it to see the grin on Tyler’s face.

I stood back and watched him redeem our first and second place score sheets for free game vouchers. It was a bittersweet moment knowing he’d use those free games with someone else. I had two days left in Seattle before I had to go back to New York. Two days and then who knew how long it would be until I returned. Natalie and I had wrapped up all her business during those days Tyler had avoided me, and she’d decided to take a break from all the promos and interviews to focus on her restaurant for the next few months. Business was booming and she loved being an executive chef too much to give it up all at once for the life I’d helped Jamie create not that long ago.

Two days and then what? I could always come back for a visit, but had we reached that point? The point where I could drop everything and stay here, just to spend every moment I was on Washington soil with him? I wasn’t sure. Tonight had helped get us past the misunderstanding and hurt that lay between us, but were either of us ready to plan my next trip?

“Woo-hoo! Two free games to use anytime in the next six months.”

I tried to shove all the heavy stuff out of my mind, and smiled at his enthusiasm. “So you don’t feel guilty for taking out that entire group of seven-year-olds?”

He grinned and slipped the passes into his wallet. “A little bit, but I’m sure I’ll get over it.”

My gut twisted when he stifled a yawn behind his hand. He’d been putting in doubles at the restaurant and getting up who knew how early to work on the garden during his free time. Even though I didn’t want the night to end, I wasn’t that much of a selfish bastard to keep him out any later. I reached down and took his hand. God, would that ever get old? How perfectly his hand fit in mine?

I sighed and tugged him toward the front doors. “Come on. Time to get the laser tag ninja home before you pass out on me.”

“I’m fine. I promise.”

“You’re exhausted. Even laser tag ninjas need their beauty sleep.”

He paused at my car, his hand on the handle. “I don’t need beauty sleep.”

I slipped my hand around him to open the car, wanting so desperately to kiss him. But I didn’t. “You’re right. You’re perfect just the way you are.”

The drive back to his apartment was wasn’t uncomfortable, but the quiet was heavy with all the things left unsaid between us. When we finally made it back to his place, I walked him up to his door, wanting to spend every last second I had with him.

The words
good night
were on the tip of my tongue as he turned his key in the lock, but instead of telling me goodbye, he reached for my hand and pulled me over the threshold. Shock rolled through me when his mouth crashed over mine. I’d been aching to kiss him again since we’d gotten caught in the shed, but I’d tried so hard to be on my best behavior. All my resolve disappeared the moment our lips met.

Somehow, we managed to shut the door, never once breaking the kiss. It was needy and raw and full of everything we hadn’t said to each other in the car ride home. We were halfway across his apartment before I realized where we were headed. It was hard to concentrate on anything but the way his tongue sought mine, stroking and tangling with it until I cradled his face in my hands and pulled back. I rested my forehead against his, our breaths coming out hard and labored.

“Tyler, I didn’t ask you out so you’d invite me inside.”

He pulled me closer and buried his face in my neck, his words barely above a whisper.

“I know. Honestly, I do. Just don’t leave.”

When I tried to pull back, he clutched me even tighter, his lips ghosting across my skin when he said, “I know you have to go back to New York soon, and I don’t want to waste the time we have left.”

I was finally able to pull all the way back to look him in the eye. “If I stay, I won’t want to leave.”

Tyler gave me a heart-stopping lopsided smile. “That’s kind of the point. Staying, that is.”

I found his mouth again and nodded, his moan of approval vibrating against my swollen lips. I followed as we made our way down the hall to his bedroom. Tyler stopped moving, and my legs bumped against the edge of his bed. His hands left a burning trail as they skimmed up and down my sides. But it wasn’t enough.

Slipping my hands between us, I reached up to unbutton the top button on his shirt. Just before the button slipped free, I paused. This was the point where I would normally turn around and run. Run from anything that remotely resembled a relationship and the emotional investment that went with it. As I looked at Tyler, I knew with absolute certainty I didn’t want to run anymore. Yesterday, I’d bared my soul to him in a way I hadn’t done with anyone else. Not even with Jamie. But being here with him in his bedroom in a city I would have to leave soon, I wanted more. Not just a stolen weekend with him every other month. I wanted Tyler, the dogs, waking up to him every day and a happily-ever-after just for us.

I wanted it all.

Chapter Thirty-Two

Tyler

I
t
took
me
a moment to realize Trevor’s fingers were still hovering over the button of my shirt. I wasn’t the only one nervous about tonight. I didn’t know what was going to happen tomorrow, or next week, or next month, but none of that mattered. The only thing that did matter was I was through running.

“Hey.”

I watched him take in a deep breath and release it before he smiled and replied, “Hey.”

I reached between us and tugged his hands away from my shirt. Trevor tilted his head to the side, but before he could say anything, I reached down and lifted the hem of his shirt up. When he raised his arms, I tugged the shirt off and tossed it to the floor. Trevor’s eyes closed as I leaned forward to trail kisses along his jaw. Nothing else in the world mattered right now except this. For once I wasn’t consumed with thoughts about my parents, or how I wasn’t good enough for Trevor, or juggling school and work and tuition money. Right now, it was just me and Trevor with nothing and nobody holding us back.

He held my gaze as he slowly unbuttoned my shirt. When the last button gave way, he pushed the fabric over my shoulders and let it fall. His hands settled at my waist, fingers hooked in my belt loops, and he pulled me in for a kiss. The kiss was slow and gentle, each swipe of his tongue against mine a declaration that we had all the time in the world to be together. Neither of us broke the kiss as his hands worked their way to the buttons on my jeans. As soon as he popped the last one open, he freed my dick and took me in his hand. We’d been bare like this before. Hell, he’d stroked me off on my futon and in my bed. But this felt different. It felt bigger and scarier and more mind-shattering because I knew what I wanted. I didn’t want to stop this time. I didn’t want a hand job and then some cuddling. This time I wanted it all.

I buried my face in the crook of his neck and shoulder, biting my bottom lip to hold back my moans as he slowly stroked me from base to tip. When he released me, I all but whimpered. But his lips brushed against my temple as he began to tug my jeans over my hips. Goose bumps erupted all over my body as the cold air hit my skin.

Another kiss on my temple. “You sure?”

Without any doubt in my mind, I pulled back and held his gaze as I nodded. I watched him as he tugged off his jeans, adding my boxers to the growing pile of clothes on my floor. For a moment neither of us spoke. His gaze on my naked body should have made me feel self-conscious, but the hunger in his eyes only made me want him more.

He held out his hand and tugged me toward him, pulling me onto the bed. I shivered again, not from the cold this time, but from the blazing heat of his fingertips on my body.

“I could touch you like this all night.”

I closed my eyes as his fingers skimmed a little bit lower, tracing patterns along my navel. “I see no problem with this plan.”

His fingers skimmed lower over my right hip bone, then the left. “Well, if I kept touching you like this—” Trevor made one more pass over my stomach, murmuring, “—then I wouldn’t be able to touch you like this.” My eyes shot open when I felt his fingers skim along the length of my dick.

With excruciatingly light touches, he explored every inch of my aching erection, pausing to spread the pearl of fluid leaking from the tip, then skimming back down to the base. Just when I thought I couldn’t take it anymore, he ran his hands back up my hips and chest and kissed me.

There was nothing hesitant or timid this time. Instead it was raw and carnal and needy. And mind-blowing. Every nerve in my body exploded with pleasure as Trevor’s tongue expertly stroked mine. He broke the kiss, but only to roll over and dig around in my nightstand. A year ago, I would have been embarrassed that he was searching for my lube. Hell, three months ago I’d been embarrassed to admit to him I even owned any. Tonight, there was only need.

Trevor popped the lid and reached out for my hand, poured a generous amount on my hand, then guided my hand down past my stomach. I’d done this hundreds of times. When I’d lived at home, I’d become a pro at jerking off in the shower so there would be no evidence. But I’d never done it in front of someone before.

Trevor must have sensed my hesitation because as he wrapped his hand around mine and slowly started to pump my dick, he asked, “Do you trust me?”

There was a time I would have answered “no” without any equivocation. Tonight, with no hesitation at all, I answered, “Yes.”

He pumped a few more times, then released his grip to pour another generous amount of lube on his hand. I watched as he pushed my legs farther apart and slipped his hand between my legs. Keeping his gaze fixed on mine, his fingers trailed over my balls until his finger rested against my hole. When my entire body tensed, Trevor placed his free hand back over mine and began stroking me again.

Once we’d established a rhythm, his finger circled my hole, applying more pressure with each circuit he made. And then he pressed harder, finally breaching my outer ring of muscle. I slammed my eyes shut, not wanting him to stop, but suddenly overwhelmed by all the sensations.

“Breathe, Tyler. Breathe. I’m right here with you, and I’d rather cut off my hand right now than hurt you.”

Slowly Trevor’s finger slid deeper inside me as he placed gentle kisses along my hipbone, and my mind was lost to the feel of him all over my body. One finger became two, each slide of his fingers timed perfectly with our strokes over my dick. Soon I was floating, the initial pain receding, leaving only pure pleasure in its wake. Trevor’s fingers slid deeper and pushed up, and suddenly my back was arching off the bed as my orgasm slammed into me. Trevor’s hand kept pumping as hot jets of come coated our hands and my stomach.

“Oh my God.”

Trevor’s hand released his grip on my now-flagging erection, but his fingers inside me continued their maddeningly slow pace.

“You’re beautiful when you come.” His eyes were hooded, the deep brown barely perceptible in the dark.

My first instinct was to shy away from the compliment, to tell him there was nothing remotely beautiful about me. But he silenced any protest with his mouth, teasing my lips with his tongue at an even torturously slower pace than the fingers that continued to work me.

“You are. That time you were spread out under me completely naked and writhing with my hand wrapped around you? I’d never seen anything more gorgeous in my life than the sight of you finally letting go.”

Once again, goose bumps raced over my skin, but this time it wasn’t from the cold. This time it was from the hunger in his voice, the tender yet deliberate slide of part of him inside me. I’d wanted him the last time he’d been here. I’d been ready to give myself to him. But I realized I hadn’t been ready, not completely. That feeling paled next to how much I needed him right now. I’d fought it for too long, struggled with my own insecurities and trust issues. With his fingers stretching and circling inside me, I didn’t want to fight it anymore. Whether this would last a day, a week, or forever, I wanted to give this part of myself to Trevor.

“I want...” I cleared my throat and tried again. “I want to let go. With you.”

His answering moan rumbled across my lips, and then he moved away, pulling his fingers free from my body and sliding off the bed. The loss of him left me aching, almost as much as it had when he’d first entered me. Was this how it would feel when he boarded his plane back to New York? Probably worse. And yet, there wasn’t a single part of me that contemplated ending our night right here and now. With more certainty than I’d felt in a long time, I wanted Trevor.

When he returned to the bed, I leaned up on my elbow and let my gaze travel from his face to his chest to his erection, now sheathed in a condom. Trevor came to the bed, set the lube next to me, then lay down behind me, placing soft kisses along the back of my neck and shoulders.

I closed my eyes at the first touch of his hand on my dick, each stroke making me harder. His fingers trailed down below my balls and made a slow circle around my hole. This time, when he pressed forward, there was no pain. He stopped only briefly to pour out more lube, then resumed his slow shallow thrusts. Soon, I was pushing against his fingers, my dick already filling with blood again.

Just when I thought I’d go crazy if he didn’t thrust harder, he withdrew his fingers and turned to his side, pulling my back against his chest.

More light kisses rained over my body, each one leaving a trail of heat along my skin. “I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you right now, but I don’t want to hurt you. If it’s too much, tell me and I’ll stop. There are plenty of ways for us to feel good, and since I don’t plan on leaving this bed anytime soon, we can explore each and every one of them.”

I looked over my shoulder, stunned by the look in his eyes. There was lust and hunger in them, but there was also something I’d never seen from anyone before. Reverence. Like the way Ethan and Jamie looked at each other when they didn’t realize anyone was watching them.

“What if I don’t want you to stop?”

The skin around Trevor’s eyes crinkled as his smile turned into his trademark smirk. “Not even I’m that good.”

His laugh joined mine, and suddenly, all the tension I’d been holding on to since he’d first touched me faded.

Pulling on the last reserves of my confidence, I whispered, “I’m glad it’s you.”

Trevor’s smirk faded into a small, but genuine smile. “Me, too. More than you know.”

He kissed me one last time, then ran his hand over my shoulder and arm to my leg, pulling it up to my stomach. When I felt him arch his hips against me, I knew this was it. I’d seen a few pornos that Ethan left behind when he moved out of the apartment, but nothing could have prepared me for this. It was so much more than just the physical act. My stomach churned with nerves, anticipation and love. I wasn’t brave enough to tell him yet, but from the moment he’d showed up at the garden in his thousand dollar shoes and knelt alongside me in a patch of dirt that meant nothing to him, my heart had been his.

Trevor brushed my earlobe with his lips and whispered, “Breathe deep and bear down.”

Too overwhelmed to speak, I simply nodded. I felt his fingers spread more lube along the cleft of my ass, then pressure as his dick nestled against me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, then I felt him push forward. I clenched my hands into fists as he kept pushing until I knew he’d made it past the tight ring of muscle, my breaths coming fast and shallow as the stinging pain spread through me.

“Breathe, Tyler. I’m not moving until you breathe.”

Trevor ran his hand over my chest and arms, softly whispering how beautiful I was and how good he felt inside me as I drew in ragged breaths. With one last breath, I tensed my muscles around him and then pushed back against him. The pain was still there, but it had dulled enough to allow me to focus on the magnitude of what we were doing.

“You okay?”

I took another deep breath, then turned my face to his. “More than okay.”

Trevor captured my lips with his as he slowly pushed into me, each increment laced with both pain and the most pleasure I’d ever felt. Every few seconds, Trevor would pause, allowing me to stretch around him, then press a fraction more.

Once he was fully sheathed inside me, he dropped his head to my back, his ragged breaths fanning out across my skin. “You feel incredible. I knew it would be good, but it’s so much better than good.”

I wanted to answer him. To tell him this was so much more for me, too, that even though it scared me, I couldn’t deny it anymore: I was falling in love with him. But the words caught in my throat when he began to move. Each thrust sent shock waves through my body sending me higher. Trevor’s breath was hot and ragged against my neck, the sounds he made forever imprinted on my brain.

My eyes slammed closed when I felt his lips trail over my neck and I shivered when he nipped my shoulder. I reached back, sliding my hand into Trevor’s hair as I stopped thinking and just felt. His lips brushed the inside of my wrist and I cried out as he thrust deep. His rhythm faltered and he murmured, “So good, Tyler.”

When I felt his free hand wrap around my aching cock, two strokes was all it took as I arched against him. My fingers tightened in his hair as I felt pleasure roll through my body, so good I could feel my toes curl against Trevor’s legs.

With a ragged moan, Trevor’s hand left my cock, flattening against my stomach. His rough thrusts as he lost control sent renewed heat through me and I held on tight. With a low cry, he stiffened against me and I felt him shudder as he came.

We lay there, panting and sweaty for a few minutes as Trevor smoothed his hands over my skin, his soft kisses against my hair and the lulling motion making me sleepy.

He pulled back, pressing a kiss against my shoulder and murmuring, “Be right back.”

My eyes closed as I heard his footsteps and the toilet flush in the bathroom, then water running in the sink.

When he slipped back into bed beside me, I turned and met his gaze.

His intense look as he pushed my hair off my forehead made me wonder what he was thinking at the moment. “No regrets?”

I shook my head, “None. There’s nothing I’d change about you and me, Trevor.”

His look faded into a sad smile, but it was gone in an instant as he pulled me close. “You know what comes next, right?”

“What?”

“The cuddling.” He said the words in a serious tone but the playful spark of humor in his gaze and the wiggle of his eyebrows made me laugh. “Real men cuddle after sex.”

His fingers trailed over my ribs and I squirmed, ticklish. “That’s not cuddling.”

“It can be.” He dug his fingers into my hips and I squirmed again, letting out a surprised laugh as he pulled me close for a kiss. I wondered how much this would hurt when Trevor left for good. When he rolled me underneath him, his weight pressing me into the bed, his kiss turning insistent and needy I pushed worry away. I didn’t want to think about tomorrow or next week or next month. Tonight, Trevor was here with me, and that was enough. For now.