In Search of Grace (37 page)

             
Seth felt an immediate reaction and felt his body start to throb.
This is not how he wanted it and pulled back, but she had already slipped her hands under his shirt
.  Raking her fingers across his back with her nails
,
his body stiffened.
  “
Easy
,
rabbit
.
”  
He frowned
trying to decide if she was still angry
.
 

             
“Your too rough right now
,
Alex.  Maybe you need to calm down?”

             
Alex reached for his hand and
pulling him to the table
,
pushed him into one of the chairs.

             
Without saying
a
word,
she
looked him directly in the eyes, pulled off her shirt and unclasped her bra, throwing both items
to the floor
.
The
symbolism was not lost on
Seth.
Putting her hands on her
hips,
she slowly removed the remaining clothes as Seth stared transfixed.  Alex watched as he swallowed hard when she
climbed onto his lap
,
straddling him.
She could feel his erection through
his
clothes.
It gave her great satisfaction knowing that he wanted her just as much as she wanted him.
Taking
his
hands
with her own
,
she moved them to cover her breasts
.  She felt him pulse beneath her.

             
Seth
closed
his eyes at the feel of her breast in his hands.  Squeezing them tightly then pinching both nipples causing her to moan out load.

             
Alex rocked
her hips
back and forth rubbing against him through his clothes
. 
She started to kiss him again
.  This time he did not pull away but
opened his mouth to hers.
Planting her fee
t
solidly on the ground
,
she rose up so that she could offer
a
breast to him. 
Groaning
,
he sucked on her hard
, first one and then the other
. 
He could feel her soaking him through his clothing.

             
“I am so wet
,
Seth, you turn me on so much
!”  H
er
whisper
sound
ed
loud in the room but was like
lighter fluid
to his already smoldering fire.
  Reaching between
them,
he slid a finger inside of her, while pressing against her with his thumb.  She immediately tightened around him then cried out as she had her release.

             
Seth grabbed her hips and pushed
her
off
him
.
Reaching behind
her,
he grabbed her
lifting
her up
before
laying
her on the kitchen table.
Alex’s stomach jumped in anticipation at what he was going to do to her.  Spreading her legs wide
, while pushing her knees back, he lowered his m
outh
finding
her core
then
sucked on her as if he was dying of thirst.  She moaned, moving her head side to side on the table. He was driving her insane.
“Seth
,
stop
!
”  Seth ignored her
as he unzipped his jeans
.  It had been a long two weeks for both of them.
 
He wanted to feel her come again.  He did not have to wait long as her hips
started making
their now familiar
rhythm
against his mouth
.
Just as she was about to
lose it for a second time he removed his mouth from between her legs and in one motion, pulled her hips to the edge of the table while simultaneously
driving
hard
inside of her. 
Clutching
the table
,
she cried out his name
,
and within a few thrust
s
,
he went over the
edge
,
with her calling out her name as he did so.

_____________________________

             
Alex
quietly
watched
Seth while he was sleeping.
He seemed so
peaceful
.  S
he wished that they could just lie there together
,
forever.
The realization that s
he
had fallen head over heels with this man frightened her more than
anything did
.
How many times had
people promised her it all, only to have her heart ripped out, promises not
kept?
  
Could this time be different?
Tears
welled
in her
eyes
as she knew that she would have to make a leap of faith again
or end it
.  She
did not
know if she could take
another
heartbreak
,
or worse
,
him walking out of her life forever.

             
“
What’s
the matter
,
rabbit?” 
Seth’s voice quietly reached out to her.

             
Tears pricked the back of her eyes
,
and she quickly closed them before he saw
her pain
.
Concern flooded him
.
“Alex, what is the matter?”

             
“I don’t know
.
”
H
er lie hung between them as she
quickly got out of bed
, running to the bathroom
.  Seth stared at the door for a long time before quietly climbing out of the bed. 
She was shutting him out
again
.
  Walking in
to the bathroom
,
he sat next to her on the edge of the bathtub
,
hands folded between his knees
making sure he
did not
touch her.
 
After a few minutes,
Alex looked at him sideways and burst out laughing.  He looked like a little boy sitting there
.

             
“What are you doing?”

             
“I am here
.
” 

             
“What?”

             
“I am showing you that I am here.  Talk or don’t talk
,
I am not leaving you
,
Alex.”  Taking her hand, he linked
his
finger
s
with her own. 
“I don’t know how else to show you.  I don’t know how else to bridge the gap between me and you.”

             
Reaching up
,
she touched his cheek.

             
“I love you.”

             
His heart
beat faster.
  “Don’t say that unless you mean it
,
Alex.”

             
Alex started to speak
,
and he
placed
a finger on her lips.  “Let
me
finish this time.  I think I have been in love with you since the day I pulled you over. 
When y
ou looked up at me with those big brown
eyes,
I was lost. 
However,
I am a
n
all or nothing kind of guy
,
Alex,
and if you are only in this halfway, I don’t want it
. 
No more hiding and definitely no more half truths.  It is all or nothing baby
.” 

             
“I don’t know if I know how.”

             
Seth put his arm around her
,
and she leaned her head on his shoulder.
“
And t
hat is what we will figure out together
,
rabbit
.
”

             
Tommy looked from the new pictures pinned to the wall, to Seth, and then back again.  Swallowing hard, he started so say something
,
then closed his mouth.  No words
would
come
out
.
  Tommy realized there really was nothing that he could say.
Everyone working on this case was emotionally involved
, n
o one more so than
Seth
. 
But to
actually find out that your girlfriend
could be the possible “first”
then
to have to come in
to work,
post your girlfriends face and body all over the wall
in this condition
.
Shaking his head, he could not even imagine what that does to a guy
inside
. 
Looking at Seth, he thought he
had to be a rock
,
because he
did not
think that he could do that. 

             
Seth watched the conflicted emotions cross Tommy’s face. 

             
“I know
,
T
ommy;
it’s a mess.”

             
“Do you think she is the o
ne?”  Tommy looked at the photo
s again knowing that they
all
would have to be in complete denial not
to
be able to put all of the pieces together.  Right down to the initial carved onto the shoulder of all the victims
,
including Alex
.

             
“Have you talked to her yet?”

             
“Some.  She has been holding this in for a long time
,
Tom, and
really,
it has only been through pressure from her friend and myself that is forcing her to face the past.  She is really scared
,
and quite frankly
,
I am scared for her.”

             
“There is going to be more dead bodies if we don’t catch this guy, y
ou
know.”

             
“No shit
!
”

             
Tommy looked across the conference table, tearing off pieces of his Styrofoam cup, afraid to bring up his idea.  Seth was staring at each photo
,
not saying anything.

             
“Uh, hey
,
Seth
,
do you think that she could w
alk you through her crime scene?
  Take you through each step
?
  Maybe we could get a clue as to whom this person is?”

             
Seth turned in the chair abruptly
,
facing Tommy.  Tapping his pen on the table
rapidly
, he stared him down before throwing the
pen angrily into the center. 
“I don’t know. 
The cop in me knows
that is what needs to happen next.  I just don’t know if she is ready.
Hell
,
Tommy, I don’t know if I am ready.
”  Gesturing to the wall with all of the photographs
, “h
ow does someone survive that and not go crazy?”

             
“We have ad
ded extra patrols through Break
heart, The Fells and every reservation in
Malden
,
Melrose
,
Saugus
,
and beyond.  She will be safe.”