In Search of Grace (32 page)

             
Now it was his turn to plead.  “Alex
, please
”

             
Rolling over, h
er eyes wild, she screamed.  “Get out!”

             
S
eth walked back to his house and went straight to his office. 
He had never been so tired in his whole life.
Dialing Mark
’
s number,
Seth’s
heart felt like it was
going to pound out of his chest and his whole world was going to crash around him.
  

             
“Mark?”

             
“I have some informati
on for you.” 
Mark’s voice was all business.

             
“I will give you the re-cap, and you will be receiving the packet with complete details tomorrow morning via a courier.  I am having it sent to your house.  Her full birth name is Grace Alexandra Davis.  She was in foster care
from the age of 4 to 18
.  I am still trying to access those records.  Seems they have a warehouse where they store all the “old” files.  That might take me awhile.  She moved to
Massachusetts
at 18
,
and for whatever reason
,
dropped her first name
,
and she became
Alexandra Davis
.
She met and married Jeremy Tuttle at 20.  He is a piece of work.  Mr. Tuttle has not stayed at one job for more than 18 months;
he
has had a few minor
run
-
ins
with the law and just is an all around asshole from what I can tell.
”
  Mark hesitated.

             
“Go on
,
” Seth demanded

             
“They divorced after 3 years of marriage
; s
eems right after her divorce there was an incident
.”
  Mark paused.  He was unsure of the relation
ship
his
friend
had with this woman
,
and he wished it
were
anyone else but him relaying the report.

             
“Seth. There was an allegation of an assault when she was 24 by an unknown assailant.  She told the cops his name was Peter.  She did all the right things.  She went to the hospital, had a rape kit done
,
pictures were
taken;
you will get them tomorrow and
prepare yourself because
they are not pretty.  Seems she had a real dick of a detective assigned to her case.  In reading the police report, he stated he felt the victim was not telling the whole truth for whatever reason.  Her
allegations of being stalked before the assault were
pretty much tossed to the wayside after interviewing her husband.
Mr. Tuttle,
in essence
,
stated that his ex-wife was unstable, and more than likely came on to someone leading to a consensual encounter.  He told the detective she liked it rough.”

             
Seth felt the bile rise to his throat. 
He wished that he had kicked the shit out of
Jeremy
when he had the chance.

             
“
It looks like the police stopped working on the case after his interview.
”
  Seth’s anger surged as Mark continued. 
“
From what I can tell, Mr. Tuttle attempted to collect alimony from
her during the divorce proceedings, which was denied
by the Judge
.  I
surmised
that his interview was a payback to her
for not paying up
.
  She
mo
ved to
Malden
,
purchased the house she is currently living in
,
and t
hat is pretty much it
in a nutshell.”
Mark waited for a response, and in not getting one continued.
“
Like I said, you wi
ll have the full copy tomorrow.  Let me know if you need
anything
else.”

             
“Thanks
,
Mark.  I owe you one.”

             
Seth quietly hung up the phone
,
staring out the window for a long time
,
lost in thought.  No wonder she did not tell him anything.  Trust issues?  For years as a child, she was tossed around from home to home.  He could only imagine her feelings of insecurity and loss
.  Feeling unloved and rejected
.  She finally moves to another state, changes her name
,
probably to
make
a
fresh start.  Meets someone who she thinks she loves
but e
nds up with not only a divorce,
but also
a traumatic event. 
Adding insult to
injury,
she had
to deal with a bastard like Jeremy who had the opportunity of helping her, instead choos
ing
to crush her
during her weakest moment
.  He had spent weeks trying to tear down her walls.  Hell, she did not have walls; she had a fucking fortress around her heart.
  Seth flinched at remembering
how he had treated her
at her house.  He knew that he had frightened her.  He regretted the force he used, hoping she would be able to forgive him at some point. 
He found it ironic that he had made a pledge to serve and protect, yet the one he wanted to protect the most was out of reach. 
Pushing back his chair, he
w
ondered how long he should give her before heading
back over to her house.  Knowing the full story now, he really needed to talk to her
, t
ell her about his case. 
Setting aside the fact that he now realized that through all of his searching for
the
killer, he had the key to the case right in front of his face
, he also realized that he was head over heels
in love
with her.

             
Alex woke up with a start
,
unsure of where she was
at first
.
Realizing she was in her own bed
,
she lay there
listening
to the
silence
.  T
he storm outside had passed. 
Tears stung the back of her eyes as she remembered the events of the
afternoon
. 
She hated admitting it to herself
,
but
Seth was right
,
it was time to stop running.
She reached into her closet and pulled out a clean shirt. It was time to face what happened to her
,
no matter how afraid she was.  Before this, she decided that s
he needed time away
,
and she knew Seth would have a hard time with her
leaving
.

             
Stepping onto her back patio, she inhaled deeply
appreciating t
he calm after the storm
;
the air smelled clean and fresh.
Looking at the gate between their
homes,
she steeled herself ins
ide before walking
through the
wet grass to his back door.

             
Her hand rose in the air
,
but was startled when the door opened before she could
knock. 
Holding the
door wide, she stepped into his
kitchen
.
Turning
to face him,
she saw the fatigue in his features
.  With
sadness,
she knew that she was the cause of
a good portion of that
fatigue
,
if not all
. 
Seth watched the many emotions crossing her face.  He saw the tears
hovering in her eyes. 
He reached out for her, but then dropped his hand.  Today
was exhausting mentally and physically for
them both
. 
R
ealiz
ing
that he was in love for the first time in his life
and that he couldn’t tell her
,
ki
lled him. 

             
Alex’s eyes went to his
,
and she wiped
at
the tears
.
He watched her warily. 

             
“We need to talk
,
Seth.”

             
“Come here
,
Alex
.  Please.
”

             
“
Please
don’t touch me
;
just
let me finish.”
She begged.

             
“I am going away for a bit
,
Seth.  I need
to
clear my head without any distractions. 
You
’
r
e
right you know.
You have been right all along.
I need to stop running, but I have been doing it for so long now,
I don’t
know how.”

             
“Then let me help you
,
baby
.  I know that you have been through something I cannot even begin to imagine.  It haunts you, invades your sleep.  I get it
. I have even been there myself
.  I have seen it before in my line of work. I want to help you.  I can give you the skills to protect yourself
.
I can
even
teach you to fight back.” 

             
“You
can’t help me with this
,
Seth! 
I have to take the first step.  I have to face it.
  I have to save myself
, but I can’t until I find myself again
.
  Please, let me do this.
  Please
let me go
.”  Her voice caught
,
and Seth watched
her as she struggled to hold it together. 
“
Because
I can’t leaveif you don’t let me go.”
 
Seth
wanted nothing more than to grab her at that moment and hold her
,
taking all of
the pain away.
  He also knew she was right.  He nodded.  It was time to let her go.

             
Alex heard the barking before she saw him.  His little body was running at top speed
,
weaving through
the pine trees chasing the rabbit.
 
As both came into view, first t
he rabbit, then the dog
she burst out laughing at how
ridiculous
he look
ed.  The rabbit
, who
didn’t seem afraid or to be going at full speed
for that matter
,
turned its head, looked at her
,
then without missing a beat
,
turned sharply right and
headed
back into the woods.
No city dog was going to catch him
.
  Hamlet bound into
the
clearing
before skidding
to a stop.  Sniffing the
ground
he
then looking at her
disgusted
as if it was her fault the rabbit got away
.  “You will never catch him you little fool
.”
   

             
Charles stepped out of the cabin
onto the tiny porch
wiping his hands on a
dishtowel
.  Alex grinned
s
eeing him in the flowery apron
that was
tied around his
huge
waist.
  Charles was miserable up here
and it showed.  Alex knew he
came because
s
he
had asked him to
,
and more than likely
,
because he felt guilty
for
telling Seth about the scar on her shoulder.  They never talked about her confrontation with Seth.  Charles figured it had to have been pretty
ugly
, because Seth was already extremely angry when he left the police station that day.  He was tempted to call her and give her a heads up, but through all of the fear, he knew that she needed help.  As much as Charles loved her, he could not protect her.  Seth not only could provide the much-needed protection, Charles suspected that Se
th was in love with her.