In Search of Eden (23 page)

The bus finally started, the door closed, and they drove into town. She got off. Grandma was waiting for her, as she'd expected. “Hello, sweetheart! How was your day?”

“Fine.”

They started walking. “Do you have much homework?”

“No.”

“Would you like me to carry your backpack?”

“No thank you.”

“You know, Eden, I was wondering, are there any of the children you'd like to have over next week to play after school? I'd be happy to have them.”

“Oh. Um. I don't think so. Thanks.”

Grandma patted her on the back, and Eden forced herself to give her a little smile. She kind of felt bad, because she could tell Grandma felt bad. Grandma was always asking her if she'd made any friends yet and if she wanted to have anybody over. Everybody was pretty nice at school, and she knew everybody's name and was sort of friends with this girl named Hayley. They sat together at lunch and everything, but she didn't think she'd invite her home. It just felt too hard to explain everything. Whenever she told people about Dad, they either asked her all kinds of questions she didn't know the answers to, or they looked at her really sad, like they felt sorry for her, and she didn't like that, either. She didn't like to cry, and that always made her feel like she was going to cry. So she just made her rounds after school and wrote in her notebook and stuff, and that was pretty fun. Until now. She would just be glad when it was tomorrow and she could get back to her normal life.

Grandma started talking, telling her all about Plumb Alley Day that was coming up at the end of May and how she was going to be running the dunk tank and Mr. Purvis, the fifth grade teacher, was going to be dunked. That was kind of interesting, but in a boring kind of way. Pretty soon they were at Aunt Vi's.
She was waiting for them on her porch, wearing a red bandana around her hair, old jeans, and a blue shirt that was too big for her, and her clothes had paint all over them. She was an artist, but mostly she just painted pictures of birds and flowers and sheep and stuff like that. Nothing really interesting. Today Aunt Carol Jean was there, too. She wasn't really her aunt, either, but actually it was sort of like having three grandmas. Aunt Carol Jean was short and had blond hair that was white at the roots. She was wearing a pink sweatshirt that said
When Life Hands You Scraps, Make Quilts.
There was a bird sitting on a clothesline with quilts hanging down from it. Aunt Carol Jean was always asking Eden if she wanted to learn to quilt, and she always said,
“No thank you,”
but she was getting pretty bored. Maybe she would try it next time she got on restriction.

“Hello, lovey,” Aunt Vi said, and Aunt Carol Jean had to give her a hug, but after a few minutes she escaped to the den with her cookies and milk. Aunt Vi had Mr. Rogers on the television.
Oh, barf.
She was way too old to be watching Mr. Rogers. She was almost twelve. Well, she supposed she could watch for a minute. She sighed and leaned back on the couch. She glanced out the window, but no one was coming up the flagstone walkway. No one would see her watching a kid's show. She leaned back and took a bite of cookie. They were oatmeal, and even though chocolate chip were her favorite, these were pretty good.

The music started. The door opened. Mr. Rogers came in with his umbrella, and though he said, “Hello, neighbor,” and looked the same as he had when she was little, Eden could tell right away something was wrong. She frowned. It was raining in the neighborhood. She felt a little bit mad. It wasn't supposed to rain on Mr. Rogers. And there was more stuff wrong, too. In the Neighborhood of Make Believe, Prince Tuesday was afraid his parents were going to get a divorce because they were arguing. Mr. Rogers started explaining that every time parents quarreled, it didn't mean they would get a divorce, but it made her so mad she flipped the station over to
Guiding Light
again.

But it was too late. It had started her thinking, so she couldn't help but keep on thinking, even though the lady named Ava and the lady named Lizzie were fighting again today. She wondered if Dad and Mom would get a divorce now that he was hurt and couldn't walk. They would be coming here in a couple of weeks or months. Nobody would tell her when or what was going on. She was worried about that, too. There were too many things to think about.

And things not to tell.

There were secrets. Stuff she wasn't supposed to know, or ask.

She knew a secret, but she wasn't allowed to talk about it to Grandma or Uncle Joseph. And she thought there was some secret that Uncle Joseph and Grandma knew that they weren't supposed to talk about to her. She didn't know what that one was. But she knew there was something, because Uncle Joseph didn't ever want to talk to her dad or her mom, and Grandma would get upset with him, and then they would start talking, and when they saw her, they would get quiet all of a sudden and put on these really fakey smiles. She didn't know what was going on there, but she would probably find out someday when she had time to ask around. Maybe Vi or Carol Jean would tell her.

The one she wasn't supposed to tell Uncle Joseph or Grandma was that she was adopted.
“Grandma knows,”
Mom had said,
“but it's best just not to talk to either one of them about it. Okay?”
Dad had just looked really sad and said,
“Sarah, is that kind of secrecy necessary?”
Then Mom started getting upset and started to cry, and Dad said,
“Okay, fine, whatever. I just don't think Eden should be carrying that kind of burden,”
and then Mom had said why didn't she go out and play. She had tried to hear the rest from the hall, but they'd gone upstairs to their bedroom and shut the door. So she had never told. She didn't really want to anyway. She didn't like to talk about being adopted. She didn't really know what she thought about it, either. At first she had thought everybody was adopted. Then she understood that was wrong. After that Mom made a really big deal about always saying she was special. How
they had picked her out. But at the same time, she was always complaining to Dad how tired she was and how much trouble it was taking care of her. And she wondered why her real mom hadn't wanted her. All the other kids' real moms had kept them. What was wrong with her? She hated it in school when they had to draw their family tree. Mom would tell her whose names to put where, but Eden knew it wasn't real. That wasn't her real family.

She wanted to know who her real mom and dad were, and once she had asked Dad because at least he didn't cry, but he said they didn't really know much about the man and the woman, just that they weren't able to take care of her, so they'd given her to Mom and Dad. And then he'd said,
“Maybe you'd better not ask your mom because . . . you know.”
Anyway, he looked sort of sad, so Eden hadn't asked any more. But Dad said maybe someday the time would be right to find out more, and she would know when the time was. Lately Eden had been wondering if now was the time.

She hadn't let herself say it, even to herself, but now the thought just popped up and wouldn't go away. Maybe she could find out who her real mom was. She had started wondering ever since she'd gone to the hospital to see Dad and they'd sent her back here.

That's when she'd figured out they were probably sorry they'd adopted her in the first place.

Ever since then she'd been thinking about her mother more. Her real mother, not Mom. She had thought about her before but not as much. She had even written her a letter, but she didn't know where to send it. She felt bad when she thought about Dad and Mom up there in Minnesota, but then she got kind of mad when she remembered how Mom hadn't wanted her there, so she decided she'd keep the dad she had, but it might be a good idea to get a back-up mom.

After all, her real mom might be anybody. That was the only good thing about it. About not knowing. Her mom might be
rich or famous. Her mom might be somebody like a soldier or a general or a spy who knew kickboxing like that girl on the show on TV that Grandma wouldn't let her watch.

Her real mom wouldn't be thin and blond like Mom was. She would have dark hair like Eden and do fun stuff and not sit around and worry all the time. Maybe her real mom was just sort of pretty and kind of looked like her, and maybe she would look at Eden and say someday she might look okay, too. And her real mom would like her and want to be around her. She wouldn't send her away, and she wouldn't sign her up for a bunch of dumb classes just so she wouldn't have her around.

Eden looked around Aunt Vi's den and sighed. Probably her real mom, her birth mother, Mom and Dad called her, was none of those things in real life. IRL. She was probably just a normal person who hadn't wanted her.

She missed Dad. He liked her. He liked to be around her, and she never made him tired. But he was sick, and who knew if he would ever get well. She'd been reading the Bible Dad had given her for her tenth birthday. He used to always buy her a special present on her birthday and take her out to dinner, just the two of them. She blinked and sniffed and remembered. The page edges were gold, and he had written inside
To Eden, my delight.
Dad said that was what her name meant. Delight. And that's why they had named her that.

She got up and went into the hall. Grandma and her friends were still in the kitchen talking. She went out onto the porch and sat down and was just watching a green snake slide under Aunt Vi's big bush when she looked up, and there was Grady Adair, riding an old rusted bike. He rode right up to Aunt Vi's gate and stopped.

“Where you been at?” he asked, looking like he didn't care.

She looked back over her shoulder. Nobody inside was paying any attention to her. She walked over toward the gate. “In my room mostly. You got me in trouble, and I'm on restriction.”

“How'd I get you into trouble?” He frowned and looked mad.

“ 'Cause you acted so lame and ran away when my uncle came, and then I was afraid I'd get you in trouble, so I didn't tell where I was, and so then I got on restriction.”

“Oh.” He lowered his eyes and went back to kicking the ground, even while he balanced on the seat of the bicycle.

Eden thought about asking him what he'd done that he had to run off like that, but she was going to run the plates on his dad's truck as soon as she got back to work. She'd made a note in her notebook. If he was a criminal, he'd probably only lie anyhow.

“So when do you get off?” he asked, finally looking back up at her.

“Tomorrow.”

“Huh.” He grunted like he couldn't care less.

Then why'd you ask?
she almost said, but instead she just shook her head. “I gotta go back inside, or they'll come looking for me.”

“Well,” he said, like he was doing her a big favor or something, “maybe tomorrow we could ride our bikes or something.”

“After school?”

“I don't go to school.”

“You're s'posed to.”

“Well, I don't.”

“Is that why you run away from the police?”

“Do you want to ride bikes or not?” His blue eyes got squinty, and he glared at her.

“I got things to do.”

“Like what?”

“I've got to take the new Wanted posters to the bus station and show them around. I've got to find out who took Elna's place at the Hasty Taste. I've got to go see Pastor Hector and find out what's happening, and there's a horse I might need to ride.”

He squinted up his eyes again. “Maybe I could help you.”

“I don't see how you could be much help.” But then Grady
Adair lowered his eyes again and looked ashamed, and Eden was ashamed she'd said that.

“Well, I guess you could come along,” she said.

He lifted his chin and acted like he didn't care, but she could tell he was happy.

“I'll meet you where we were before.”

“We ain't there no more.”

“Where are you?”

“I'm not supposed to tell.”

She gave him a look. “Are we friends or aren't we?” she said, a frown heavy on her face.

He sighed and paused. “Over by that fellow Miller's pond.”

“I know that old place. My dad used to take me fishing there.”

“Don't come there. My pa will get mad if I told you.”

“Well, where then?”

“You just go on. I'll find you.” And then he hopped on his bike and rode off.

Eden watched him go, wondering if he might know some things after all.

After supper Uncle Joseph let her off restriction. “Here's the deal,” he said. “From now on you come straight home after school and do your homework.”

“Straight home!” She felt panicky. She knew how that worked. Once she got home, she would never get out. Grandma would find things for her to do, and pretty soon it would be dinnertime, and then she would have to help with the dishes, and then Dad and Mom would call, and there would be no time left to do her rounds or make her calls. “Why?”

Uncle Joseph gave her a Duh! look. Grandma shook her head a little bit and looked sad.

Eden felt kind of bad that Grandma's feelings might be hurt, but she couldn't stand the thought of being cooped up here every day.

An idea came out of desperation. “What if I go straight to the library? I could check in with Miss Branch and do my homework there, and you could ask her, and she could rat me out if I mess around or leave or anything. I could stay an hour or even longer,” she vowed. “Please? Please?” She totally couldn't stand it if Uncle Joseph said no. He was staring at her face, and all of a sudden he just smiled, and she breathed out a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.” She got up and started clearing off the table.

“Well, for pity's sake,” Grandma said to Uncle Joseph. “I had no idea it was such a trial being here with me.”