In Love with Ezra (Love Unaccounted Book 2) (50 page)

I knew right away who the sender of this email was. My eyes jumped up to Alexis. She was still lost in slumber. I wondered if she knew about this. She couldn’t have. She would have brought it to my attention.

I clicked on the attachments and found historical articles in local newspapers and online articles about Alexis’ savage attack nearly ten years ago, in
Rusty’s
. There were pictures of the assailants; the primary one was now deceased and it was a good thing, because I’d had enough rage in me to rip his limbs from his torso for what he did to her. I would gladly trade my freedom for that satisfaction. I had no pity for his absence on earth. What was chilling was the pictures of a young Alexis with a bruised face leaving the hospital after the ordeal. The only familiar faces at her side were Ms. Remah’s and Tasche’s. There was no sign of Rasul because he’d been incarcerated at the time. Even that remembrance sent a shot of fury through me. It reminded me of his repellence to my grace.

Nyree had done it. She’d exposed what was likely Alexis’ most private hell. It deeply perplexed me how there was no justifiable cause for Nyree’s ire for Alexis. None at all. I was able to discern this from our conversation. The source of her problem with Alexis was basic jealousy; clearly a deep-seated emotion that brought about Nyree’s antagonism.

I had to do something. I needed to shield Alexis, and the most debilitating feeling was the realization that I could not. The corresponding emails were from countless recipients including, Precious, Ann Bethea, and most notably my father. Nyree had sent this to our entire roster of staff. They’d forwarded to their gossiping buddies and so on. My beloved’s bone-chilling nightmare had been uncovered. She’d never discussed it with me and I was fine with it. It had been a risky task to introduce her to my dark sexuality considering her attack, but Alexis showed no signs of post-traumatic distress. But the mere fact she hadn’t mentioned it in all this time, revealed her emotional attachment to the event. She hadn’t trusted me enough to share it. And that was why I couldn’t understand her need of wanting to shear me open to expose my inner-workings.     

My mind raced with where to begin.
How can I quell this? Where do I start?
       

Then it hit me. My hands began tapping to compose a forwarded email to someone who’d appeared in my life unexpectedly and had shown himself to be a man filled with more wisdom than the demons that haunted him. Jackson Q. Hunter.

I need help.
was all I could think to type.

It was just after midnight Pacific Standard Time, which meant he, too, was lost in slumber at three in the morning on the east coast. I gazed out of the window seeing the same black hues I believed my beloved had been swarmed with during that haunting time in her life. I needed to tell her. She had to be told gently. I would have it no other way. But I couldn’t do it now when we were surrounded by so many. There was nothing I could do at the moment.

So, I did what I knew best when my back was against the proverbial wall. I prayed. Silently, I besought Eloah. I needed His power.

Minutes later my computer pinged. It was a return from Jackson.

Tell me where and how soon we can meet. I’m sending my best man.

~Lex~   

My clasped hands leaped from the table at the sound of the doorbell. My elbows slammed back on the wood surface, shaking my coffee mug. I’d been drinking coffee for the past four hours. I hadn’t slept since we left the plane and Ezra hit me with fuckery. I still feel the nausea that almost ejected from my mouth when he spoke to me in his counselor tone and rhythm. I’m O.D. embarrassed and still can’t believe Nyree would do something like this to me of all people. I feel like I brought my drama into his straight-laced world. His father, mother, staff…

My fucking god
…

Ezra appeared at the door. “I’m sure that’s them. Are you ready for this?” he rasped, eyes filled with distress.

He may have presented as model
esque
in his black crew neck sweater carving his broad chest, rolled up to his lower arms and black dress pants with clean black shoes, but I could sense his deep concern. I’d embarrassed him, his ministry.

I nodded, stomach stirring with anxiety.

I wanted to crawl under a rock and hide there forever. When I tried to sleep after we arrived home, all I could see in the pitch black of the room was Artie’s slick ass leer when I took the stand at his trial. I hadn’t thought of the trial in years. In fact, until that nightmare last year, I hadn’t been haunted by the memory of it. I’d somehow pushed it all into a locked room in my mind. When I realized I wouldn’t be getting any sleep, I crept out of bed and went to Ms. Remah’s place to break the news. I couldn’t wait till daylight. I cried in her arms, feeling so much shame; for the rape and not coming clean with Ezra about it before we married. After I’d quieted she forced me to go back to bed, assuring her faith in Ezra’s plans to meet with someone this morning to handle the shit storm we were all now facing. I obeyed and dragged my weak body back to the main house. Ezra was up, shirtless and heaving. Anger carved into his face. He didn’t speak, didn’t have to. He pointed to the back steps and I took to them for our bedroom. But I couldn’t sleep. I eventually got up for a shower and made coffee.

“Lex,” I heard a feminine voice call out. I lifted my head and found Elle standing in the doorway wearing camel colored bellbottoms, a brown turtleneck under a fur shawl, and hidden nude heels. Her golden curly locks were pushed back into a ponytail displaying her sharp cheekbones and pouted rose colored lips. Even at eight in the morning, Elle was a certified diva. “Please sit up,” she ordered, authority lining her tone. “I’m only called for people who mean something to others. If they didn’t give a shit about you, I wouldn’t know your name.”

My spine jumped to straighten at the table, sending a wave of nausea over me again. I cupped my mouth in case it decided to come up. Elle stood stock-still with Ezra a few feet behind her. I couldn’t take their heavy gazes upon me: I had no idea if they were of the judgmental kind.

I swallowed back the bile. “Hi, Elle,” I attempted, almost overtaken by a cry.

I would not cry!
I couldn’t in front of people who didn’t really know me. They didn’t know my Harlem Pride. I may not have been prepared for this jab, but best believe as soon as I gathered my bearings I would be swinging and hard. That had my back lengthening and my chin rose above my shoulders, finally.  

Elle finally moved, placing her briefcase on the table. “Let’s start from the top. Tell me what you want the world to know,” she spoke as she slid the brown fur from her narrow shoulders and placed it on the back of the chair next to me. “If something doesn’t fly, I’ll let you know.”

“First of all, I’ve never stripped. That was not my job and Rusty knew it.” My imploring eyes roved over to a stoic Ezra, who stood at the door with his hands tucked in his pockets, his face blank. I’d just given him a lap dance, techniques I’d learned from the strippers at
Rusty’s
. But I hadn’t been one, and I needed him to know that. “I’m not hating on strippers; they do what they have to do, but that was never a good look for me. Nyree’s ass worded it as though I was.”

Elle nodded slowly, hesitantly accepting that as important information. “Okay. I can use that. But what I need to know before I weave a response for the most pertinent party—
Redeeming Souls
—is if you two are together after this or not. I can swing it either way.” Her eyes went from me to Ezra.

My heart galloped hard in my chest, my mouth went dry, eyes fighting back the tears, and fingers gripped the porcelain mug to the point of pain. This is the question—the probability that I tried to ignore all morning. Ezra’s reputation couldn’t survive this. In the end he wasn’t the person hiding secrets I warned him about when he asked to marry me. The scandal hadn’t been him preferring dick on the low: it was me having been raped.  

“Alexis will be my wife until one of us leaves this earth or there is nothing in my power to keep her from leaving me,” Ezra stated in no uncertain terms.

Audible air shot from my lungs and my face fell toward the table. He wasn’t calling it quits.

“But this could kill your reputation,” I mumbled with my head down, offering him a way out.

“I married you for eternity, Alexis. Till death—I meant that. My pairing with you was very much deliberate. This is it for me.”

And just like he did the morning after I showed up plastered to his brunch with Bishop Jones, he teased me with accountability. He was saying no matter my fuck ups, he’d be here with me, for me. My eyes rolled over to meet his. The weariness was still present, but it was accompanied by a dizzying resolve of steel. I wanted to thank him, but thought it inappropriate to do in front of Elle, who didn’t know about our deal. Our covenant.

“And that’s all I need,” Elle broke our silent communication with a clap of her hands and sound of confidence in her tone. “So, here’s the deal. We have to address the congregation, and it will have to be soon…tomorrow at both services. We will be forthcoming about the attack, but not rehash details. Pastor Carmichael you will give the first few minutes of your sermon to addressing the matter. Lex you will take the pulpit, next to him—with your shoulders wide and chin erect. There will not be an ounce of uncertainty in either one of your presentations. We will address a nameless poltroon party who thought it entertaining to send the email to
RSfALC
staff with details of a woman’s cruel attack. The church community won’t turn their ear from a salacious story, but is compassionate. So if we explain the story without the details of the attack, it would appear as you’re taking on the matter like warriors and that will mute the scandal of it. Now, they won’t forget it for a while. There will be whispers of it for two…four months, tops. But you two, presenting a united front will quiet the potential opprobrium that your friend, Nyree, tried to bring you into.”  

Nyree…

I sighed at that name.
What did I do to piss her the hell off?

“Yeah, her,” Elle must have sensed my drifting to thoughts of her. “We’ll deal with how we’ll handle her next. First, let’s lay out our words to address the church in the morning.”

I reclined my seat, my back smacking the chair as I did.

Shit. 

We were really here: developing speeches to address his congregation. This was on top of a heap of issues Ezra and I already had. So many budding within the past week alone. How could we get past this?

How could I survive it?

~Ezra~   

My eyes opened to grey skies. It felt as though they’d just closed. After going well into the afternoon with Elle’s instruction, down to what Alexis should wear today and whether I should preach with a robe and which color, I had to begin my sermon for today. I would have had it done by the time we landed yesterday if email-gate hadn’t broken.

With heavy bones, I left the bed where Alexis was still asleep. I felt her toss and turn a lot after I’d finally come to bed. She didn’t stop until she threw a leg over me and her arm followed. After which she didn’t move for hours. I suspected she had been awake until I turned in. It was a rough night for the both of us and would be an even longer day. After I drained my bladder, I grabbed my workout gear and headed back to the gym. I only did light running on Sunday mornings. Requiring no thinking, it helped narrow my mind. Prayer and meditation followed my treadmill run and then I made my way back into the house for a shower and prepared to leave.