In Blood and Worth Loving 2: Lost Without You (23 page)

“Thanks, Adrian.” He sighed. “I’d better go eat some big time crow.”

“Before you do, I have a present for you.” He lifted his black portfolio case from the side of the sofa. Opening it, he drew out a framed charcoal sketch. It pictured Cayenne seated in the audience in the mansion’s basement, watching the stage where Jayvyn performed.

Turning it over, he saw it was ready for hanging. “Thanks, Adrian.” He walked over to the empty space above his mantelpiece and hung it. He touched the sketch. “I’m coming to make amends, sweet.” He looked at Adrian. “Let yourself out,” he said and left the condo.

* * *

After a week spent alone at home battling depression, Cayenne knew she had to talk to someone. Both Rayna and Jayvyn had stopped calling her two days earlier. Since she and Desi had Redwolfe issues, when they talked, they and Jayvyn had stopped calling her two days earlier. Since she and Desi had Redwolfe issues, when they talked, they avoided all mention of the men dominating their individual thoughts. Still, Cayenne felt certain Conner weighed as heavily on Desi’s mind as Jayvyn weighed on hers.

Two dozen red roses arrived just after one p.m. Rousing herself from her seat in the darkened living room, she sighed. It was so difficult to banish thoughts of Jayvyn when she couldn’t stop recalling the sound of his voice and the wonderfully full sensation of having his hard cock buried deep inside her pussy.

Staring at the roses, she pressed a hand against her neck.

She lifted the accompanying card with a trembling hand.

I’m so lost without you in my life. Please forgive me.

Yours, Jay.

Lost without her in his life? Oh, God! Warmth rushed over her at the memory of feeling his incisors sink into her skin seconds before her blood rushed into his mouth. What had he experienced holding her close and drinking her blood? Had he felt closer to her? Had the taste of her blood heightened his senses and made him want her more?

If she could believe the message on the card, he felt as miserable as she did.

But could she believe him? Dare she trust him again?

Unable to decide for herself, she showered and dressed. When she was sure Desiree would be home from work on Friday night, she drove to her apartment. As she slipped out of her car, she spotted Desiree exiting her building.

Cayenne waved and walked over to her.

They embraced briefly before Desiree stepped back to look at her. “I was on my way to see you. We need to talk.”

She nodded. “I know.”

“Want to go out for dinner?”

Cayenne shook her head. “I don’t really have any appetite.”

“Let’s go up to my place then.”

They took the elevator up to Desiree’s apartment. She made an omelet and garlic bread and poured two glasses of wine. They sat in the kitchen picking at the plates before Cayenne put her fork down and pushed her plate away.

“There’s something I need to tell you about Conner.”

“Go ahead.”

“I’m not quite sure how to say it or even if I should say it.” Desiree sighed. “If you’re trying to find a way to tell me he and Jayvyn are vampires, I already know.” Cayenne frowned. “You do? How?”

“He told me.”

“Jayvyn told you?”

Desiree shook her head. “No. Conner told me.”

“When?”

“Two days ago. He was waiting for me when I left work. We went to dinner and he told me.”

“Without any prompting?”

Desiree nodded. “He said that friends shouldn’t keep secrets from each other. He didn’t actually say Jayvyn was a vampire but he told me they were brothers and that he’d been alive during the Trail of Tears. So that pretty much made it obvious all three of them are vampires.”

Cayenne sucked in a breath. “Conner told you without any pulling teeth while I had to practically force Jayvyn to tell me.”

“And you think that’s a bad thing, Cay?”

“Yes!”

“I don’t. I think his failure to readily admit what he is says a lot about the depth of his feelings for you. Conner told me because his feelings weren’t involved and he felt as if he had nothing to lose if I reacted badly. Jayvyn didn’t tell you because he was afraid of your reaction. He had a lot to lose if you turned away in disgust or fear.” She frowned. “Is that how you see it?”

“Yes. What other way is it to look at it? I wish to God Conner had enough feelings for me that he’d been reluctant to tell me.”

“I think you should reconsider, Desi. I think he’s done you a favor and saved you a lot of the grief I’ve had with Jayvyn.”

Jayvyn.”

“What kind of grief?”

Cayenne paused. Had she put an unnecessary negative spin on Jayvyn’s rationale for not telling her? Was she being a fool for ignoring his calls and refusing to see him? She picked up her glass, took several sips, and then told Desiree all that had happened between her and Jayvyn. “So you see, you’ve been spared seeing the repulsive side of him.”

“So having him ingest your blood was that repulsive?”

Cayenne frowned. “Repulsive? I didn’t say that.”

“You said seeing the repulsive side of him.”

She nodded. “I know, but I meant I found his taking my choice away repulsive. Having him ingest my blood was kind of…sensual.”

“You liked it?”

“I’m not sure I’d go that far but it wasn’t unpleasant.”

Desiree sighed. “Tell me more so I can imagine what it would be like if Conner ever felt compelled to snatch me up into his arms and bury those beautiful teeth of his in my neck.”

“There’s nothing more to tell. It didn’t last long. Even if I accept your spin on things, there’s still the problem of his almost having killed Michael.”

Desiree nodded. “But you said he stopped when you told him if he loved you, he’d stop.”

“Yes.”

“Doesn’t it follow then that he must have real feelings for you? I know this whole vampire thing is more than a little crazy, but he has the hots for you and I know you feel the same way about him. So why not give him a chance to make amends?”

“I can’t.”

“Of course you can. Don’t blow this with him, Cay. I can’t tell you how much I’d love to be in your shoes with Conner.”

“Nothing’s happening there?”

“The damn man insists we be friends—without benefits.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“What can I do but be his friend and hope that one day he’ll see the light and discover he’s as crazy about me as Jayvyn is about you.”

“Oh, Desi.”

“No. Don’t waste time worrying about me. I’ll be all right. I just have to get used to the fact that he has no sexual interest in me whatsoever and I’ll be fine.”

“Are you really sure that’s true?”

“Yes. I am. You are so lucky to know how Jayvyn feels about you. You know what? If I were you, I’d get my ass in gear and go claim him before the she-hussy does.”

“What she-hussy?”

“His woman is on her way home to whip him back into shape—or so Conner says.”

“Oh, yeah? Well, it will be a cold day in hell before she gets him back!” Desiree laughed. “That’s the spirit, girl. Don’t let the fact that she’s a vamp worry you.”

“I don’t care what she is. She’s not getting him back!” Cayenne rose.

“Where are you going?”

“Home. I have a lot to think about this weekend. I’ll call you Monday night and let you know what I decide.”

“Okay, but if you need to talk, call me. I’ll be home.”

“No date with Conner?”

She shook her head. “He had the nerve to ask me to spend the weekend with him at a cabin they own in the Poconos.”

“And you said?”

“I wasn’t spending another damn night with him until he gives me some cock.” Cayenne stared at her and then laughed. “Oh, Desi. What did he say?”

“He laughed and said he’d wear me down and that I wasn’t getting any. He threatened to entice me to spend time with him by buying me a horse of my own.”

time with him by buying me a horse of my own.”

“A horse? Do you want one?”

Desiree nodded. “I think I might. I told you I enjoy horseback riding.”

“So he plans to bribe you?”

“He says he’s not above it to get what he wants.”

“And he wants you?”

Desiree shook her head. “No. He wants my company. Not my body.” She extended her right wrist. A beautiful, diamond tennis bracelet adorned her wrist. “He gave me this.”

“It’s gorgeous, Desi.”

“Well, it’s not a $70,000 car, but it cost more than any other gift any man has ever given me.”

“You’re going to keep it?”

“Hell yeah. And if he buys me a horse, I’ll keep that too even though I’ve just about had it with that selfish, unfeeling bastard.”

“But you’re smiling, Desi.”

“I know. Pathetic, isn’t it? He’s so damned handsome and charming it’s difficult to stay angry with him for more than a few minutes.” Her smile vanished. “Honestly, I just don’t understand him. When we’re out and we encounter absolutely gorgeous women, he keeps his gaze on me. He makes me feel as if I’m the only woman in the world worth his time and attention. But then he refuses to do anything about it.” Cayenne sighed. “Do me a favor, Cay?”

“Of course. Name it.”

“Go on a wild ride with Jayvyn. I can’t imagine any man loving you more than he obviously does.”

“He’s never mentioned love, Desi. If he had, it would make my decision so much easier.”

“Give him time and encouragement. And lots of pussy before the she-hussy returns.” She frowned. “Damn. I wonder if that’s what’s up with Conner. Maybe he has a she-hussy who’s whoring around the world.”

“Why not ask him?”

Desiree grimaced. “Because I’m afraid of the answer. If he says yes, I’d feel crushed because I know I’d never have a chance with him.”

“Desi—”

“You know, he did say he and his brothers had stopped dating human women a long time ago. So all his women must be fems. Oh, hell! No vampire loving for me. You’re going to need to enjoy Jayvyn enough for us both, Cay.”

“He nearly killed Michael, Desi.”

“Nearly doesn’t count and honestly with the way he’s been pissing all over you, Michael had it coming.”

“Desi! Jayvyn had no right to behave that way. He nearly choked him to death in front of me.” Desiree shrugged.

“Desi! You can’t just shrug off his outrageous and murderous behavior.”

“Look, Cay. He loves you. Unrequited love probably made him a little nuts.”

“You’re making assumptions, Desi.”

“Whatever. I say give him a break and admit you like having him around.” She shrugged. “Well, he is kind of handy. He fixed the cabinet doors and the leaking faucets I’ve been after Michael to fix for weeks. And I haven’t had any more trouble from rats since he did whatever he did.”

“Oh, come on, Cay. That’s not the only reason he’s nice to have around.” She sighed. “I’m going home to think. I just wanted to make sure you knew about Conner.”

“I do and I’ll be fine. And so will you—once you accept that you’re now a handsome vampire’s woman of choice. Go with the flow and wallow in the knowledge of how deeply you move him.”

* * *

Cayenne opened her front door and paused, her nostrils flaring. A faint whiff of Jayvyn’s cologne seemed to hang in the air. She also noted a vase full of red roses on the hall table. She heard Tom Jones’ version of
Till
coming from the living room promising some lucky woman that he was hers until the moon deserted the sky. “Jay!” She rushed through the house calling him.

But he wasn’t there. Disappointed, she returned to the living room. A small, expensive MP3 player sat on the coffee table. The song playing was called
Soul Song
and it was Jayvyn’s voice coming from the speakers telling her nothing in his world could be wrong as long as she was his.

“Oh, Jay!” She sank down onto the sofa. That’s when she saw the card and the black velvet jewelers’ box. She opened the box first. Inside was a beautiful diamond-encrusted heart on an exquisite gold chain. Placing the heart back in its box, she opened the card.

I ache for you. I need you. I’ve been yours since the night we met. Forgive me and be mine. Yours, until the
moon deserts the sky. Jayvyn

Tears welled in her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. She sucked in a deep, aching breath. “Oh, Jay! What am I going to do? I know I shouldn’t, but I want and need you too.” She’d blown any possible chance of getting back with Michael. But that was all right since she no longer had any desire for a personal relationship with him. It was time to admit the obvious. She’d been Jayvyn’s for the taking almost from the night they’d met.

How could she possibly want another man after having been in his arms and in his bed? After having felt his incisors sinking into her neck? His cock giving pleasure so exquisite it bordered on pain? Wonderful, sensual, pussy-pleasing pain? After knowing how capable she was of totally enchanting him? When she considered how many women he must have known and bedded, the idea thrilled her. Of all those women, human and vampire, he wanted her.

She wiped her tears away while a slow smile curved her lips. Her. She managed to suppress the urge to call him and shout that she was his. He was a vampire who would expect to drink her blood and dominate her. Before she called him, she needed to be sure she could handle all the implications of being a vampire’s woman.

She poured herself a glass of wine, kicked off her shoes, turned out the lights, and sat in the dark listening to Jayvyn serenade her with one love song after another. When she woke, she undressed, took a quick shower, and went to bed.

The sexy sound of Jayvyn’s voice singing that he’d be lost without her roused her in the middle of the night.

Bolting up in bed, she looked around. The moonlight revealed a figure silhouetted in her bedroom door.

Cayenne sucked in a long breath. “Jay!” Sobs of relief shook her body before she jumped out of bed and rushed across the room to him. “Oh, Jay!”

He engulfed her in a warm embrace before he cupped his hands around her cheeks and stared down into her eyes. “You were right, sweet. I am jealous of him and I have been since the night we met.” She wrapped her hands around his wrists. Not in an attempt to disengage his hands, but just to touch him.